I went to meet one of my professors today, to settle my FYP. And after hours of waiting (because I'd come in the morning like he said but he wasn't free till the afternoon and I agreed to wait) I finally knocked on his glass door and opened it. And HAHA, my eyes almost fell out of its sockets in shock. Of course, it took me a second to pretend like nothing was wrong as he pleasantly asked me to wait again.
His office is a superb mess. Seriously. SERIOUSLY. I'd never seen any room as messy except in the movies. There was not quite enough space for me to stand, even, because there were papers everywhere. There were several crumpled charts on the floor, two swivel chairs haphazardly thrown in the middle of the room, with unopened letters on them, the guest sofa was similarly littered with objects and unidentified documents and I didn't know if I could move them in order to sit. So I moved to the corner next to the door which was blessedly uncluttered and started to scrutinise the poster of cell regulation pathways as I waited for him to finish discussing with his graduate student.
I ended up standing there for a good half hour and during that time, I started to observe the rest of his room because my god, I kept wondering, Why is it so messy??? I mean, I am by no means a neat person. My bedroom is testimony to this. But even I couldn't fathom why pieces of rubbish and papers and charts and starhub bills are all over the floor! I wanted to laugh out loud, really. Did he just move into this office? But no, his starhub bills (it clearly had his name on it) proved otherwise. Was he searching for something - like a crucial formula for a split second experimental decision? Was he robbed? That could explain how everything seemed to be thrown around the room but that didnt explain why someone had quite clearly vandalised one of the desks with a red marker. I couldn't explain it. XD The only conclusion I could come up with: he's one of those genius within chaos types.
Anyway, at least he was nice enough and I think I'm closer to getting my FYP settled. :D
Going out for lunch tonight!
Friday, July 10, 2009
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
I went to Times at Tampines1 today; bought Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers: The Story of Success and Jodi Picoult's Keeping Faith. I also saw Cassandra Claire's (I shall forever spell it with an i, CC, no matter how you try to run away from your previous pen name, just because I always have) City of Glass on the shelf! (In case you don't know, this person wrote the fanfiction Draco Trilogy that I have harped on about many times. She is now a published writer.) I think it's the first time I've seen her book in Singapore... I am kind of curious about it but I feel no inclination to work through all three books and the fact that the famous Twilight author, Stephenie Meyers, gives her praises on the book cover puts me off rather than motivates me. :P I also went to Action City and bought something cute - fake bread!!! It has a weird caramel scent that is supposed to be the smell of bread (I honestly don't get it) and I bought two - one for Elsie (haha!) and a bigger one for Kaktiyah (because she's getting married soon and I wanted to give some sort of a farewell gift - @.@ I hope she doesn't read this before she gets it!).
And I just realised I have too many things in parentheses in the paragraph above. Bah. :P
I've decided that Tampines1 has become my favourite mall in recent times, despite the lack of halal food places and despite its history of collapsing ceilings and the H1N1 case. It's big and doesn't have as many people, unlike Tampines Mall next door which is seriously abominably crowded on weekends. It has two of my favourite stores in the basement: Yamakawa Super which sells all kinds of yummy Japanese food products, and Urban Write which sells awesome stationery and knick-knacks. It also has UNIQLO, from which I haven't purchased anything but have been planning to for a while now. It has J.Co. which, believe it or not, is the only donut shop in the entire Tampines shopping hub! We had everything but donuts before Tampines1 arrived. And of course, everything is within walking distance from home. :) Did I say before how I shall never live anywhere else but Tampines? (If possible, of course.)
My Arashi love has increased over the past few days; I thought it had reached high enough levels. But time and again, I just have to concede that their member love just wins hands down, over all of JE groups ever. Or any other boyband that I know of. This friendship thing that they have just sells so well and is so surprisingly inspiring. It fills me with a warm glow. :) I've seen quite a bit of SMAP now (thanks to my sister whose love for Kimura kind of exploded ever since she watched Love Generation) and even Arashi beats SMAP. Defintely. I was also telling Duckie the other day, how trying to choose a favourite Arashi member is like trying to decide which HP book I like best. Everyone's just so special in their own way - gah; it's virtually impossible.
I realise I have a really soft spot for quirky people. The weirder they are, the more I'd like them. Like Ohno! Gosh, the way this man stones, even during Arashi's shows, just cracks me up. He rarely speaks and when he does, he says weird random things that are just funny. And he does unusual things like playing with clay to make African faces and goes fishing for more than 24 hours at a stretch. But he's undoubtedly the best singer in Arashi, and some say the best dancer as well. Maybe it's my bias speaking, but I feel that geniuses are rarely ever normal anyway. The quirky people, in my view, are quirky precisely because they have some very novel and interesting way of looking at the world and dismissing them would be a great remiss.
---
I keep feeling like I'm falling in love with Arashi ALL OVER AGAIN.
Omgosh, if that isn't true love, I don't know what is. Haha. XD
Can I find someone in real life who makes me feel like this HAHAHAHA. Not that Arashi aren't real, but, you know. Unattainable. XD
And I just realised I have too many things in parentheses in the paragraph above. Bah. :P
I've decided that Tampines1 has become my favourite mall in recent times, despite the lack of halal food places and despite its history of collapsing ceilings and the H1N1 case. It's big and doesn't have as many people, unlike Tampines Mall next door which is seriously abominably crowded on weekends. It has two of my favourite stores in the basement: Yamakawa Super which sells all kinds of yummy Japanese food products, and Urban Write which sells awesome stationery and knick-knacks. It also has UNIQLO, from which I haven't purchased anything but have been planning to for a while now. It has J.Co. which, believe it or not, is the only donut shop in the entire Tampines shopping hub! We had everything but donuts before Tampines1 arrived. And of course, everything is within walking distance from home. :) Did I say before how I shall never live anywhere else but Tampines? (If possible, of course.)
My Arashi love has increased over the past few days; I thought it had reached high enough levels. But time and again, I just have to concede that their member love just wins hands down, over all of JE groups ever. Or any other boyband that I know of. This friendship thing that they have just sells so well and is so surprisingly inspiring. It fills me with a warm glow. :) I've seen quite a bit of SMAP now (thanks to my sister whose love for Kimura kind of exploded ever since she watched Love Generation) and even Arashi beats SMAP. Defintely. I was also telling Duckie the other day, how trying to choose a favourite Arashi member is like trying to decide which HP book I like best. Everyone's just so special in their own way - gah; it's virtually impossible.
I realise I have a really soft spot for quirky people. The weirder they are, the more I'd like them. Like Ohno! Gosh, the way this man stones, even during Arashi's shows, just cracks me up. He rarely speaks and when he does, he says weird random things that are just funny. And he does unusual things like playing with clay to make African faces and goes fishing for more than 24 hours at a stretch. But he's undoubtedly the best singer in Arashi, and some say the best dancer as well. Maybe it's my bias speaking, but I feel that geniuses are rarely ever normal anyway. The quirky people, in my view, are quirky precisely because they have some very novel and interesting way of looking at the world and dismissing them would be a great remiss.
---
I keep feeling like I'm falling in love with Arashi ALL OVER AGAIN.
Omgosh, if that isn't true love, I don't know what is. Haha. XD
Can I find someone in real life who makes me feel like this HAHAHAHA. Not that Arashi aren't real, but, you know. Unattainable. XD
Monday, July 06, 2009
I don't believe one grows older. I think that what happens early on in life is that at a certain age one stands still and stagnates.
- George Eliot
This quote hit the nail of my thoughts tonight. (Do I make sense? :P) I've started to feel a little happier lately because I've concertedly thought of life differently. There is no more, "I have to get this done by this time!" or "If I do this, will I ruin my life???" I've decided that hey, it's best to live life by my own terms, not by any external measure, and to keep learning and growing. Forever, if possible. One of the keys to a happy and meaningful life is to nurture curiosity.
Anyway, my iPod Touch arrived today and I am enjoying my little friend now. :D I am also seriously amazed by the power of technology. I also cleaned one of my drawers (threw out a lot of junk) and found a hari raya packet that contained $12!!!! :D Awesome or what. Windfall! (Okay, a mini one.)
- George Eliot
This quote hit the nail of my thoughts tonight. (Do I make sense? :P) I've started to feel a little happier lately because I've concertedly thought of life differently. There is no more, "I have to get this done by this time!" or "If I do this, will I ruin my life???" I've decided that hey, it's best to live life by my own terms, not by any external measure, and to keep learning and growing. Forever, if possible. One of the keys to a happy and meaningful life is to nurture curiosity.
Anyway, my iPod Touch arrived today and I am enjoying my little friend now. :D I am also seriously amazed by the power of technology. I also cleaned one of my drawers (threw out a lot of junk) and found a hari raya packet that contained $12!!!! :D Awesome or what. Windfall! (Okay, a mini one.)
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
Went to get my IC replaced today, with Mumu for company. And after that we had Pastamania at Cathay Cineleisure and watched Dance, Subaru!.
I was trying very hard to be lenient to Kuroki Meisa's acting - but gosh, she's just so stiff. Her expressions are just so... wooden. She's pretty and all, but gah. Her acting irks me; and it irks me more cause I like her and I cringe for her. Admittedly, she's better here than in Crows Zero, but still. I think Mumu and me were crying more than her character; the story was really sad (and rather draggy in the middle). Mumu and me were crying like mad that we had to get tissues out at the end but Meisa only had a few tears seeping out (and they looked rather forced). :P
Also, somewhere in the middle, DBSK appeared for like 15 seconds and the girls next to me physically spazzed. They were trying to suppress their squeals, but failed of course. -.-" I was like, "Haiyoh, I think DBSK is responsible for at least a third of the box office sales." But haha, I totally get it. I'm a fangirl too. And DBSK is pretty (Jaejoong, as I commonly proclaim, is like a flawless anime character) and their dancing is awesome and they can actually sing decently. What's to hate.
And in case you don't know who or what DBSK is... Although, to me, that's rather appalling (but that's cause I've fallen into Jpop/Kpop world and therefore have very skewed perceptions now), here's a photo (and god, just google them lah okay. They're awesome to watch.):
And link here. And this is the amazing dance version of their song Mirotic. It's really wow. And I'm not even a proper fan, okay. I only know these things because my sister shows them to me. My heart belongs to Pi, NEWS and Arashi. :P
---
And since dearest genius Shweta who is tinkering away in a lab in MIT requested I blog about things other than my Jap fangirling, HP and Lymond (you leave me little choice, my dear), I shall. And since my sister is blaring Billie-Jean from her laptop now...
Where was I when I found out MJ died? I was having pancakes for breakfast at MacDonald's with Lin. Lin was the one who announced it to me and I went, "WHAT??????????" of course. I mean, who didn't. Couldn't believe it at first. I mean, this is the Michael Jackson. This week's edition of Newsweek had a very nice article on him: What his life felt like from inside, from outside it was manifestly a work of genius, whether you want to call it a triumph or a freak show - those are just words. We'd never seen anyone like this before, either in his artistic inventiveness or his equally artistic self-invention, and we won't forget him - until the big Neverland swallows us all.
Some older people don't think MJ reached the consciousness of my generation, but he definitely did. I mean, I can't even recall a time when I didn't know MJ. I grew up with Hussain dancing MJ's moves during our holiday trips and doing the crotch-grabbing OW! Heee. Sweet memories. I distinctly remember us somewhere in rural Terengganu, putting on an MJ show near the roadside while the elders chatted away in the house. Of course, no one actually watched but we kept cheering Hussain on. Hussain was seriously born to be a performer, man. We keep urging him to try Singapore Idol. :P (I digress.)
MJ. RIP.
I was trying very hard to be lenient to Kuroki Meisa's acting - but gosh, she's just so stiff. Her expressions are just so... wooden. She's pretty and all, but gah. Her acting irks me; and it irks me more cause I like her and I cringe for her. Admittedly, she's better here than in Crows Zero, but still. I think Mumu and me were crying more than her character; the story was really sad (and rather draggy in the middle). Mumu and me were crying like mad that we had to get tissues out at the end but Meisa only had a few tears seeping out (and they looked rather forced). :PAlso, somewhere in the middle, DBSK appeared for like 15 seconds and the girls next to me physically spazzed. They were trying to suppress their squeals, but failed of course. -.-" I was like, "Haiyoh, I think DBSK is responsible for at least a third of the box office sales." But haha, I totally get it. I'm a fangirl too. And DBSK is pretty (Jaejoong, as I commonly proclaim, is like a flawless anime character) and their dancing is awesome and they can actually sing decently. What's to hate.
And in case you don't know who or what DBSK is... Although, to me, that's rather appalling (but that's cause I've fallen into Jpop/Kpop world and therefore have very skewed perceptions now), here's a photo (and god, just google them lah okay. They're awesome to watch.):
And link here. And this is the amazing dance version of their song Mirotic. It's really wow. And I'm not even a proper fan, okay. I only know these things because my sister shows them to me. My heart belongs to Pi, NEWS and Arashi. :P---
And since dearest genius Shweta who is tinkering away in a lab in MIT requested I blog about things other than my Jap fangirling, HP and Lymond (you leave me little choice, my dear), I shall. And since my sister is blaring Billie-Jean from her laptop now...
Where was I when I found out MJ died? I was having pancakes for breakfast at MacDonald's with Lin. Lin was the one who announced it to me and I went, "WHAT??????????" of course. I mean, who didn't. Couldn't believe it at first. I mean, this is the Michael Jackson. This week's edition of Newsweek had a very nice article on him: What his life felt like from inside, from outside it was manifestly a work of genius, whether you want to call it a triumph or a freak show - those are just words. We'd never seen anyone like this before, either in his artistic inventiveness or his equally artistic self-invention, and we won't forget him - until the big Neverland swallows us all.
Some older people don't think MJ reached the consciousness of my generation, but he definitely did. I mean, I can't even recall a time when I didn't know MJ. I grew up with Hussain dancing MJ's moves during our holiday trips and doing the crotch-grabbing OW! Heee. Sweet memories. I distinctly remember us somewhere in rural Terengganu, putting on an MJ show near the roadside while the elders chatted away in the house. Of course, no one actually watched but we kept cheering Hussain on. Hussain was seriously born to be a performer, man. We keep urging him to try Singapore Idol. :P (I digress.)
MJ. RIP.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
I'm approaching the end of Aldous Huxley's Brave New World, in which a scary, desensitized sort of human civilization exists - all people are cloned or created, sexual promiscuity is the convention whilst monogamy becomes an unspeakable crime, the concept of family doesn't exist - the word mother is in fact scandalous, and the idea of God has been entirely replaced by the great Ford. Ford is a system that enforces stability and conformity, and utilises science and eugenics to an astonishing degree. All everyone cares about is happiness and pretty much... everyone are bimbos; just totally ignorant of their ignorance.
Some nice parts:
---
"Because our world is not the same as Othello's world. You can't make flivvers without steel - and you can't make tragedies without social instability. The world's stable now. People are happy; they get what they want, and they never want what they can't get. They're well off; they're safe; they're never ill; they're not afraid of death; they're blissfully ignorant of passion and old age; they're plagued with no mothers or fathers; they've got no wives, or children, or lovers to feel strongly about; they're so conditioned that they practically can't help behaving as they ought to behave. And if anything should go wrong, there's soma. Which you go and chuck out of the window in the name of liberty, Mr Savage. Liberty! Expecting Deltas to know what liberty is! And now expecting them to understand Othello! My good boy!"
Soma is basically like a drug, encouraged and enforced by the system, that the people take to dispel any sort of unhappiness.
---
"Actual happiness always looks pretty squalid in comparison with the overcompensations for misery. And, of course, stability isn't nearly so spectacular as instability. And being contented has none of the glamour of a good fight against misfortune, none of the picturesqueness of a struggle with temptation, or a fatal overthrow by passion or doubt. Happiness is never grand."
---
"My dear young friend, civilization has absolutely no need of nobility or heroism. These things are symptoms of political inefficiency. In a properly organized society like ours, nobody has any opportunities for being noble or heroic. Conditions have got to be thoroughly unstable before the occasion can arise."
---
This one's my favourite part so far:
" 'Men and women must have their adrenals stimulated from time to time.'
'What?' questioned the Savage, uncomprehending.
'It's one of the conditions of perfect health. That's why we've made the V.P.S. treatments compulsory.'
'V.P.S.?'
'Violent Passion Surrogate. Regularly once a month. We flood the whole system with adrenin. It's the complete psychological equivalent of fear and rage. All the tonic effects of murdering Desdemona and being murdered by Othello, without any of the inconveniences.'
'But I like the inconveniences.'
'We don't,' said the Controller. 'We prefer to do things comfortably.'
'But I don't want comfort. I want God, I want poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want goodness. I want sin.'
'In fact,' said Mustapha Mond, 'you're claiming the right to be unhappy.'
'All right then,' said the Savage defiantly, 'I'm claiming the right to be unhappy.'
'Not to mention the right to grow old and ugly and impotent; the right to have syphilis and cancer; the right to have too little to eat; the right to be lousy; the right to live in constant apprehension of what may happen tomorrow; the right to catch typhoid; the right to be tortured by unspeakable pains of every kind.' There was a long silence.
'I claim them all,' said the Savage at last.
Mustapha Mond shrugged his shoulders. 'You're welcome,' he said. "
---
Reading this just reminds me of what someone else said - how youngsters today seem to bemoan too much about a difficult life. When in fact, it's good to have it difficult. It's good. It's supposed to make you stronger and smarter and wiser, and above all, human. We're not supposed to have it easy.
Some nice parts:
---
"Because our world is not the same as Othello's world. You can't make flivvers without steel - and you can't make tragedies without social instability. The world's stable now. People are happy; they get what they want, and they never want what they can't get. They're well off; they're safe; they're never ill; they're not afraid of death; they're blissfully ignorant of passion and old age; they're plagued with no mothers or fathers; they've got no wives, or children, or lovers to feel strongly about; they're so conditioned that they practically can't help behaving as they ought to behave. And if anything should go wrong, there's soma. Which you go and chuck out of the window in the name of liberty, Mr Savage. Liberty! Expecting Deltas to know what liberty is! And now expecting them to understand Othello! My good boy!"
Soma is basically like a drug, encouraged and enforced by the system, that the people take to dispel any sort of unhappiness.
---
"Actual happiness always looks pretty squalid in comparison with the overcompensations for misery. And, of course, stability isn't nearly so spectacular as instability. And being contented has none of the glamour of a good fight against misfortune, none of the picturesqueness of a struggle with temptation, or a fatal overthrow by passion or doubt. Happiness is never grand."
---
"My dear young friend, civilization has absolutely no need of nobility or heroism. These things are symptoms of political inefficiency. In a properly organized society like ours, nobody has any opportunities for being noble or heroic. Conditions have got to be thoroughly unstable before the occasion can arise."
---
This one's my favourite part so far:
" 'Men and women must have their adrenals stimulated from time to time.'
'What?' questioned the Savage, uncomprehending.
'It's one of the conditions of perfect health. That's why we've made the V.P.S. treatments compulsory.'
'V.P.S.?'
'Violent Passion Surrogate. Regularly once a month. We flood the whole system with adrenin. It's the complete psychological equivalent of fear and rage. All the tonic effects of murdering Desdemona and being murdered by Othello, without any of the inconveniences.'
'But I like the inconveniences.'
'We don't,' said the Controller. 'We prefer to do things comfortably.'
'But I don't want comfort. I want God, I want poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want goodness. I want sin.'
'In fact,' said Mustapha Mond, 'you're claiming the right to be unhappy.'
'All right then,' said the Savage defiantly, 'I'm claiming the right to be unhappy.'
'Not to mention the right to grow old and ugly and impotent; the right to have syphilis and cancer; the right to have too little to eat; the right to be lousy; the right to live in constant apprehension of what may happen tomorrow; the right to catch typhoid; the right to be tortured by unspeakable pains of every kind.' There was a long silence.
'I claim them all,' said the Savage at last.
Mustapha Mond shrugged his shoulders. 'You're welcome,' he said. "
---
Reading this just reminds me of what someone else said - how youngsters today seem to bemoan too much about a difficult life. When in fact, it's good to have it difficult. It's good. It's supposed to make you stronger and smarter and wiser, and above all, human. We're not supposed to have it easy.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Jiawen put this up before but I've been having a ball rewatching Arashi clips and I just love their beatbox thingum!!! Just watch it! It's awesome -- I have half a mind to attempt this myself. XD Hah! I mean, all I need are several people making weird sounds and someone to compose a rap with me. :P Anyone with me on this??? I have only little more than a month left for crazy private projects before the new semester starts, dang it.
Seriously, I heart Arashi.
Seriously, I heart Arashi.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
I've been rereading my old emails again and I realised I meant to post about this a long time ago -- Duck and me were discussing about cute babies becoming beautiful adults and I used Yamapi as an example:
I TOTALLY AGREE ABOUT THE CHIBI KAWAII --> GROWNUP KAKKOI TREND!! It's the same with Yamapi, and really, quite the same with anyone I think (unless they destroy their physical well-being by being totally obese or undernourished or got involved in some physically-marring accident). I think it's the case that if you're a gorgeous child, the tendency is that you'll be a gorgeous adult. It makes sense, because see, what's naturally beautiful will always shine eventually. I mean, if you had pretty chibi eyes, then you'd have pretty adult eyes. And all the awkward-looking stages of adolescence are the pains of transition. Morphing from chibi to grown-up can be a difficult phase, and I think most people suffer aesthetically through that period. They either play too long under the sun, like my brother, and become as brown as burnt peanut butter (my brother was born as insanely fair as tofu), spoil their eyesight and hide behind humongous glasses or they have some weird malnourished diet that leaves them as skinny as poles. Yamapi had a scary skinny teenage phase from when he was 15 to 18; when he was so incredibly thin such that his clothes hung on him unflatteringly and his eyes appeared overly large (to me) and his yellow hair didn't help. In fandom, that phase has been nicknamed his poodle stage. Some people say Yamapi looks good ALL the time, but you know, that period was especially questionable.
But my gosh, if you look at chibi Yamapi (I'm sure you've seen the pictures); without a doubt, his cuteness is irresistible! I swear, I'm not surprised if Yamapi was accepted into JE by virtue of his looks alone, although he might have been great at the dancing audition, or his very positive and hardworking attitude shone from him like a beacon of light from the moment Johnny saw him. Chibi Yamapi is SO CUTE I feel like squishing him. Really, I can't wait for Yamapi to have a kid some day so that that cuteness can be replicated in his son or something. I keep telling my sister, "Can I have a son that looks like chibi Yamapi!!! PLEASE!!!" At which of course my sister looks at me and questions my sanity for the millionth time.
But my point is: I agree that cute kids make beautiful people.
My sister is watching SMAP music videos now. My gosh, sometimes I wonder what has become of us.
And drawing parallels with DT -- god, why am I so mad???
Sometimes I look at the Pi/Jin friendship and think of Harry/Draco in Draco Trilogy, HAHA. Except I really really dont like Jin. Because how can someone so good and nice like Yamapi/Harry like someone as horrid as Jin/Draco?????????? And if you allow me to run away with my imagination, then Pi/Toma is like Harry/Ron -- the true friendship. :P HAHAHAHAHA. Because Toma is nice and friendly and Yamapi's first friend in JE.
Am I nuts or am I nuts. XD
---
With regard to real life, I've been trying to get a hold of a different professor for FYP. It makes me worried, but I shall persevere. :s
I TOTALLY AGREE ABOUT THE CHIBI KAWAII --> GROWNUP KAKKOI TREND!! It's the same with Yamapi, and really, quite the same with anyone I think (unless they destroy their physical well-being by being totally obese or undernourished or got involved in some physically-marring accident). I think it's the case that if you're a gorgeous child, the tendency is that you'll be a gorgeous adult. It makes sense, because see, what's naturally beautiful will always shine eventually. I mean, if you had pretty chibi eyes, then you'd have pretty adult eyes. And all the awkward-looking stages of adolescence are the pains of transition. Morphing from chibi to grown-up can be a difficult phase, and I think most people suffer aesthetically through that period. They either play too long under the sun, like my brother, and become as brown as burnt peanut butter (my brother was born as insanely fair as tofu), spoil their eyesight and hide behind humongous glasses or they have some weird malnourished diet that leaves them as skinny as poles. Yamapi had a scary skinny teenage phase from when he was 15 to 18; when he was so incredibly thin such that his clothes hung on him unflatteringly and his eyes appeared overly large (to me) and his yellow hair didn't help. In fandom, that phase has been nicknamed his poodle stage. Some people say Yamapi looks good ALL the time, but you know, that period was especially questionable.
But my gosh, if you look at chibi Yamapi (I'm sure you've seen the pictures); without a doubt, his cuteness is irresistible! I swear, I'm not surprised if Yamapi was accepted into JE by virtue of his looks alone, although he might have been great at the dancing audition, or his very positive and hardworking attitude shone from him like a beacon of light from the moment Johnny saw him. Chibi Yamapi is SO CUTE I feel like squishing him. Really, I can't wait for Yamapi to have a kid some day so that that cuteness can be replicated in his son or something. I keep telling my sister, "Can I have a son that looks like chibi Yamapi!!! PLEASE!!!" At which of course my sister looks at me and questions my sanity for the millionth time.
But my point is: I agree that cute kids make beautiful people.
My sister is watching SMAP music videos now. My gosh, sometimes I wonder what has become of us.
And drawing parallels with DT -- god, why am I so mad???
Sometimes I look at the Pi/Jin friendship and think of Harry/Draco in Draco Trilogy, HAHA. Except I really really dont like Jin. Because how can someone so good and nice like Yamapi/Harry like someone as horrid as Jin/Draco?????????? And if you allow me to run away with my imagination, then Pi/Toma is like Harry/Ron -- the true friendship. :P HAHAHAHAHA. Because Toma is nice and friendly and Yamapi's first friend in JE.
Am I nuts or am I nuts. XD
---
With regard to real life, I've been trying to get a hold of a different professor for FYP. It makes me worried, but I shall persevere. :s
Thursday, June 11, 2009
I haven't blogged properly in a while. And there's no excuse, since I really am not doing anything this summer. -.- I just keep worrying about FYP, but not doing anything about it. So, I've spent my days watching an innumerable number of videos, playing Bejeweled Blitz on Facebook relentlessly and looking forward to lunches with my aunts, so I can see Insyirah (my cousin's baby). Part of me is trying to figure out a way to clear the clutter in my room too. I've been hoarding too many things, and need to dump them out. Gah. Just thinking about it makes me tired already.
I really need to figure things out.
On a side note, I just wanted to say: I heart Atashinchi no Danshi! :D Best drama this season for me.
I really need to figure things out.
On a side note, I just wanted to say: I heart Atashinchi no Danshi! :D Best drama this season for me.
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
Monday, June 08, 2009
Sunday, June 07, 2009
I hate America. Without a shadow of a doubt. Without any kind of hesitation, anymore. A deep, unrelenting hatred I don't think I've harboured anything before, except vaguely, the devil. And quite clearly, this is a manifestation of evil that both maddens and frightens me. I have just seen enough. I only feel a mixture of pity and despair for the large proportion of people in America, who know nothing of what their government has been doing and remain blissfully in their ignorance, swallowing the mind-numbing substances like The Hills and whatever else MTV or E!Entertainment throws at them, that they've been programmed to consume all their lives.
I watched Zeitgeist. And again, we're presented with the same kind of appalling evidence.
I watched Zeitgeist. And again, we're presented with the same kind of appalling evidence.
Thursday, June 04, 2009
I finally looked at my results. And yay! An increase in CAP! By a little, but still an increase. I am super surprised at least that my CS module (Combinatorial Methods in Biocomputing) got a B+! O.O Computer-Aided Drug Design got an A-; I can't say I'm very surprised because the peer reviews for our project basically handed us our marks. :)) Well. This gives me hope. If I slog more next semester, maybe it'll get even better, Allah and Rasul willing.
---
This is a crazily funny scene from That 70's Show.
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This is a crazily funny scene from That 70's Show.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Suddenly, I'm loving Nino's Niji a lot and I'm playing it multiple times a day. It has such a sweet yet melancholy melody. I can't get it out of my head. And one time, while listening to it, I cried, because haiyoh, there's something about it that pulls at one's heartstrings. It's so sayu.
And here's a wonderful HYD fanvid with the song. The lyrics do fit the context well.
---
Tomorrow, exam results will be released. But I really really don't want to look at it. I need to gather enough strength and courage and steely-ness before I lay my eyes on my grades. Also, I am freaking tired of worrying about my non-existent FYP status. I shall just suspend my worry for a while. Am taking a break tomorrow. Going cycling with my buddies. :) yay.
And here's a wonderful HYD fanvid with the song. The lyrics do fit the context well.
---
Tomorrow, exam results will be released. But I really really don't want to look at it. I need to gather enough strength and courage and steely-ness before I lay my eyes on my grades. Also, I am freaking tired of worrying about my non-existent FYP status. I shall just suspend my worry for a while. Am taking a break tomorrow. Going cycling with my buddies. :) yay.
Monday, May 25, 2009
I was sifting through old email exchanges, and read one I had with Yujie, where we were discussing tanned guys versus fair guys. XD In general, we established that tanned guys = sporty guys = more attractive guys. Haha. But then Yujie cited Shirota Yuu who is supposedly fair and sporty. (actually... O.o I don't think so. He's just an absolute cam-whore, IMO.)
"Yes, I guess there are definitely people who are fair AND sporty anyway... but somehow, the tanner guy will still seem tougher? haha. I don't know. And at the end of the day, the fairness of the skin factors little in your total impression of the guy, right? Like only 2% max? haha. Like if you have a tan guy who rock climbs BUT THEN he smokes, and drinks excessively, and is a reputed playboy and steals from his mum's purse VERSUS a fair guy who plays ping-pong or doesn't play at all (HAHA, I'm so discriminating, aren't I?) but has amazing manners and tutors orphans on weekends, OF COURSE YOU'D CHOOSE THE FAIR DUDE RIGHT! :P"
"Yes, I guess there are definitely people who are fair AND sporty anyway... but somehow, the tanner guy will still seem tougher? haha. I don't know. And at the end of the day, the fairness of the skin factors little in your total impression of the guy, right? Like only 2% max? haha. Like if you have a tan guy who rock climbs BUT THEN he smokes, and drinks excessively, and is a reputed playboy and steals from his mum's purse VERSUS a fair guy who plays ping-pong or doesn't play at all (HAHA, I'm so discriminating, aren't I?) but has amazing manners and tutors orphans on weekends, OF COURSE YOU'D CHOOSE THE FAIR DUDE RIGHT! :P"
Sunday, May 24, 2009
I am blogging mainly because the internet connection is such a pain these days (for reasons still unclear) and I have nothing to do while I wait for my videos to load. Also, part of me is dying to watch Supernatural Season 4, especially after seeing people squeal over the finale on their LJs. Oh, man. Can't the DVDs come sooner.
Also... Tis' the season to get married, lalalalalalalalala. I think I'll be missing more APEX sessions this summer break because my cousins (and seemingly quite a number of other people) have chosen 2009 as the choice year for getting hitched, and I'll have to spend my saturdays preparing for weddings. Why this year, eh. It's quite a mystery.
Honestly, my brain is a blank right now and I have no words of wisdom (if ever I had them) to share. I just feel a constant bleakness, and dark thoughts are starting to creep into my brain. Maybe all I need is a good night's sleep and tomorrow I'll regain some genki-ness.
Also... Tis' the season to get married, lalalalalalalalala. I think I'll be missing more APEX sessions this summer break because my cousins (and seemingly quite a number of other people) have chosen 2009 as the choice year for getting hitched, and I'll have to spend my saturdays preparing for weddings. Why this year, eh. It's quite a mystery.
Honestly, my brain is a blank right now and I have no words of wisdom (if ever I had them) to share. I just feel a constant bleakness, and dark thoughts are starting to creep into my brain. Maybe all I need is a good night's sleep and tomorrow I'll regain some genki-ness.
Friday, May 22, 2009
I love this little NEWS snippet. Just look at all the other members trying to control their laughter while Tego sang. XD
And this one is funny too! I've always found Yokoyama highly amusing.
And here: some photos of Rompin. (Courtesy of Mehfooza, Sarah and Kamielah)
We drove into the jungle with four-wheel-drives. Sitting at the back was super fun. We kept getting splattered with mud but the bumps and slopes more than compensated. :P
That's the name of our second campsite.
This one is is taken at Lubuk Merekek as well, next to the river. I was wearing a poncho cause it had been raining.
Fish!
We had to trek through rivers too. :) The one with the hat and blue backpack is Suhairi, who protected our important documents (aka passports and wallets) with his life. Haha.
yay, this is Group 2. Awesome bunch: Suhairi, Kamielah, me, Mehfooza, Jumayyah and Samuel.
Us crossing chasms.
Waterfall!!! It really was the highlight of the whole thing for me.
And this is Syamim the bird! Isn't it adorable. Gah.
Sitting around our campfire. We took forever to get the fire going, okay. Haha.
Bbq-ing the chicken took ages. We ate at about 10 plus although we slaughtered the chickens before dusk. At first I was all enthusiastic about cooking the chicken, but then the smoke started to choke my lungs :P and it got really hot and sweaty.
Tent mates! :))
Last day, with the Rompin guides and orang asli. They were fun people.
Farewell seafood dinner at Kg. Senibung, Johor
And this one is funny too! I've always found Yokoyama highly amusing.
And here: some photos of Rompin. (Courtesy of Mehfooza, Sarah and Kamielah)
We drove into the jungle with four-wheel-drives. Sitting at the back was super fun. We kept getting splattered with mud but the bumps and slopes more than compensated. :P
That's the name of our second campsite.
This one is is taken at Lubuk Merekek as well, next to the river. I was wearing a poncho cause it had been raining.
Fish!
We had to trek through rivers too. :) The one with the hat and blue backpack is Suhairi, who protected our important documents (aka passports and wallets) with his life. Haha.
yay, this is Group 2. Awesome bunch: Suhairi, Kamielah, me, Mehfooza, Jumayyah and Samuel.
Us crossing chasms.
Waterfall!!! It really was the highlight of the whole thing for me.
And this is Syamim the bird! Isn't it adorable. Gah.
Sitting around our campfire. We took forever to get the fire going, okay. Haha.
Bbq-ing the chicken took ages. We ate at about 10 plus although we slaughtered the chickens before dusk. At first I was all enthusiastic about cooking the chicken, but then the smoke started to choke my lungs :P and it got really hot and sweaty.
Tent mates! :))
Last day, with the Rompin guides and orang asli. They were fun people.
Farewell seafood dinner at Kg. Senibung, JohorJa!
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
I just made the mistake of blog-hopping again (hello, it is like freaking drug abuse! it is bad for me but I still do it.) and started pleading for help from Eunice.
sham b says:
I FEEL DEPRESSED.
APPA THE FLYING BISON! says:
This is why you must never go blog-hopping
sham b says:
okay.
APPA THE FLYING BISON! says:
It screws up any sort of transient peace you have
sham b says:
please remind me from time to time.
APPA THE FLYING BISON! says:
FORGET WHAT YOU HAVE SEEN
APPA THE FLYING BISON! says:
HAHA
APPA THE FLYING BISON! says:
FORGET NOW.
sham b says:
SIIIIGH
sham b says:
SIIIIIIIIGH
sham b says:
Part of me just wants to CRY.
sham b says:
LIKE SERIOUSLY.
sham b says:
WHHHHYYYYY.
APPA THE FLYING BISON! says:
Yes, the common side effect of this activity
APPA THE FLYING BISON! says:
Would you rather never worry about more complicated things? Worry, as in try to work it out in your mind?
APPA THE FLYING BISON! says:
No, right?
sham b says:
no.
sham b says:
but.
sham b says:
I can't explain it.
sham b says:
I feel so inadequate.
It's just, I see these people, and they seem so wonderfully happy and uncomplicated and pure and beautiful (okay, I am aware that I sound a little bit mad...) that I can't help but start to worry about myself. And Shweta just wished me a worry-free holiday too. It's like, for some people, things just seem to come so easy. And when they cry, it's about simple and little things. And they complain about simple and little things. And omg, I feel so amazingly distraught right now, it's mad.
BREATHE.
Okay, I am sorry. I do wonder why outbursts like these aren't confined within the period of adolescence. I am supposed to be oooold and be done with stupid and irrational pettiness. Met up with Jiawen, Munirah and Eunice today, and at one point we were exclaiming about how old we're getting. We were like, "GASP! The kids born in 2000 are in Primary 3 now!!!" and "OHMYGOD, your sister is a 90s baby??? A 90s baby??? And she's 18???" and "There is this blogger I know who said she was getting married and then, GASP, I found out she was born in '88!" HAHA, seriously mad and random, okay.
Also, it is a mark of age that I am seeing the following poem in a completely different light than when I was 15 and Ms Leow set it for us for literature class.
Spinster
Sylvia Plath
Now this particular girl
During a ceremonious april walk
With her latest suitor
Found herself, of a sudden, intolerably struck
By the birds' irregular babel
And the leaves' litter.
By this tumult afflicted, she
Observed her lover's gestures unbalance the air,
His gait stray uneven
Through a rank wilderness of fern and flower;
She judged petals in disarray,
The whole season, sloven.
How she longed for winter then! --
Scrupulously austere in its order
Of white and black
Ice and rock; each sentiment within border,
And heart's frosty discipline
Exact as a snowflake.
But here -- a burgeoning
Unruly enough to pitch her five queenly wits
Into vulgar motley --
A treason not to be borne; let idiots
Reel giddy in bedlam spring:
She withdrew neatly.
And round her house she set
Such a barricade of barb and check
Against mutinous weather
As no mere insurgent man could hope to break
With curse, fist, threat
Or love, either.
I don't know. It's still sad and lonely. But now, I feel like it's not so bad; people who turn away from love. It's understandable. It's complicated and messy and tiring. And maybe some people just don't want to risk it. But really, I don't know. At the end of the day, it's hard to decide what's worth fighting for.
sham b says:
I FEEL DEPRESSED.
APPA THE FLYING BISON! says:
This is why you must never go blog-hopping
sham b says:
okay.
APPA THE FLYING BISON! says:
It screws up any sort of transient peace you have
sham b says:
please remind me from time to time.
APPA THE FLYING BISON! says:
FORGET WHAT YOU HAVE SEEN
APPA THE FLYING BISON! says:
HAHA
APPA THE FLYING BISON! says:
FORGET NOW.
sham b says:
SIIIIGH
sham b says:
SIIIIIIIIGH
sham b says:
Part of me just wants to CRY.
sham b says:
LIKE SERIOUSLY.
sham b says:
WHHHHYYYYY.
APPA THE FLYING BISON! says:
Yes, the common side effect of this activity
APPA THE FLYING BISON! says:
Would you rather never worry about more complicated things? Worry, as in try to work it out in your mind?
APPA THE FLYING BISON! says:
No, right?
sham b says:
no.
sham b says:
but.
sham b says:
I can't explain it.
sham b says:
I feel so inadequate.
It's just, I see these people, and they seem so wonderfully happy and uncomplicated and pure and beautiful (okay, I am aware that I sound a little bit mad...) that I can't help but start to worry about myself. And Shweta just wished me a worry-free holiday too. It's like, for some people, things just seem to come so easy. And when they cry, it's about simple and little things. And they complain about simple and little things. And omg, I feel so amazingly distraught right now, it's mad.
BREATHE.
Okay, I am sorry. I do wonder why outbursts like these aren't confined within the period of adolescence. I am supposed to be oooold and be done with stupid and irrational pettiness. Met up with Jiawen, Munirah and Eunice today, and at one point we were exclaiming about how old we're getting. We were like, "GASP! The kids born in 2000 are in Primary 3 now!!!" and "OHMYGOD, your sister is a 90s baby??? A 90s baby??? And she's 18???" and "There is this blogger I know who said she was getting married and then, GASP, I found out she was born in '88!" HAHA, seriously mad and random, okay.
Also, it is a mark of age that I am seeing the following poem in a completely different light than when I was 15 and Ms Leow set it for us for literature class.
Spinster
Sylvia Plath
Now this particular girl
During a ceremonious april walk
With her latest suitor
Found herself, of a sudden, intolerably struck
By the birds' irregular babel
And the leaves' litter.
By this tumult afflicted, she
Observed her lover's gestures unbalance the air,
His gait stray uneven
Through a rank wilderness of fern and flower;
She judged petals in disarray,
The whole season, sloven.
How she longed for winter then! --
Scrupulously austere in its order
Of white and black
Ice and rock; each sentiment within border,
And heart's frosty discipline
Exact as a snowflake.
But here -- a burgeoning
Unruly enough to pitch her five queenly wits
Into vulgar motley --
A treason not to be borne; let idiots
Reel giddy in bedlam spring:
She withdrew neatly.
And round her house she set
Such a barricade of barb and check
Against mutinous weather
As no mere insurgent man could hope to break
With curse, fist, threat
Or love, either.
I don't know. It's still sad and lonely. But now, I feel like it's not so bad; people who turn away from love. It's understandable. It's complicated and messy and tiring. And maybe some people just don't want to risk it. But really, I don't know. At the end of the day, it's hard to decide what's worth fighting for.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
I finally watched the much-acclaimed Shawshank Redemption.
Once in a while, there comes a truly amazing story. And this is one. I can't even put into words how profound I find it. Every little thing about it just falls into place like a wonderful and meaningful jigsaw. I love the theme of friendship and hope and humanity. And the dialogue is as awesome as candy to me. (Okay, I don't know where that comparison came from, haha.) I always like it when Morgan Freeman narrates.
"Let me tell you something my friend. Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane."
Ah, hope. Dreams. It's one of those things you know - something that can both hurt and heal. Is it better to live with it, or without it? Or perhaps the key is to have bite-sized hopes? You know, moderated hoping; realistic dreaming. But then, maybe that contradicts the whole point of dreaming, eh. Because what's the point of dreaming when you can't make it as limitless as you wish.
But my gosh, hoping so hard can hurt so bad. Which is why, I guess it's more admirable to chase after dreams. It takes courage and resilience and strength. What is living if we don't dream, some say, right.
At the end of the day, it comes down to a simple choice, eh. "Get busy living, or get busy dying."
Besides, ARASHI! ARASHI! For DREAM! :) haha.
So I shall live and love and hope.
Once in a while, there comes a truly amazing story. And this is one. I can't even put into words how profound I find it. Every little thing about it just falls into place like a wonderful and meaningful jigsaw. I love the theme of friendship and hope and humanity. And the dialogue is as awesome as candy to me. (Okay, I don't know where that comparison came from, haha.) I always like it when Morgan Freeman narrates."Let me tell you something my friend. Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane."
Ah, hope. Dreams. It's one of those things you know - something that can both hurt and heal. Is it better to live with it, or without it? Or perhaps the key is to have bite-sized hopes? You know, moderated hoping; realistic dreaming. But then, maybe that contradicts the whole point of dreaming, eh. Because what's the point of dreaming when you can't make it as limitless as you wish.
But my gosh, hoping so hard can hurt so bad. Which is why, I guess it's more admirable to chase after dreams. It takes courage and resilience and strength. What is living if we don't dream, some say, right.
At the end of the day, it comes down to a simple choice, eh. "Get busy living, or get busy dying."
Besides, ARASHI! ARASHI! For DREAM! :) haha.
So I shall live and love and hope.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Eventful things have a habit of happening in quick succession. Or so it seems.
First of all, just to get this depressing news out of my way - I have lost my wallet. And all its important contents. EVERYTHING that is important was in it. Including my IC, my NUS matric card (1 year left and this happens!), my NUS EZ-link card, my DBS ATM card, my NLB card which had lasted me since primary school days, my BRAND NEW driving licence :( and more than S$100 cash I got from various people for my birthday. Also, other irreplacable knick-knacks like my ARTBOX membership card, my Videoezy membership card, my username and password for netsurfing at Singapore hotspots (that's it lah, I won't be able to remember them now!), numerous, ancient neoprints and about RM100.
How this happened? Was at Raffles Place MRT station yesterday with sis and sat down on a bench. I just left it on the bench, I think! I realised it when we reached City Hall, and we hurried back as fast as we could, but of course it wasn't there. And no one had turned it in to the control station. I ask you, why aren't there more honest people in this world??? :( I'd only left it for like 10 minutes. I blame my extra sleepiness for my extra blurness, cause I'd only gotten back from Rompin on Friday and hadn't rested enough; had to go out for APEX in the morning too.
Honestly, I just want my personal stuff back. Whoever you are can have the money lah okay. :( I just want the wallet back. My heart aches.
Secondly, yes, I'm back from Rompin! Which was both fun and tiring. As expected, I didn't use my camera because I was too afraid I'd damage it if I brought it into the jungle. I am dependent on the kind souls who have have been snapping away over there to put the pics up on facebook. Then maybe I'll post one or two of them here.
Some memorable things:
- Leech attack! I've got quite a bit of them. They were everywhere and I think everyone got at least one leech. They're not so much painful as they are disgusting. Looking at something sucking your blood is not a pleasant thing. You just want to scream, "GET THEM OFF ME!" Some of them sucked my blood through my pants. -.- So that I had like bloody spots on my knees and calves. And I definitely had several bites on my ankles. I was grateful for the smokers in our group, haha. Someone went like, "Oh, now you love the smokers ah!"
- Caterpillar attack! HAHA, okay, this wasn't really an attack of course. It was the last day and I was packing our tent, then out of the blue, I felt this incredible sting all over my finger, but I couldn't see anything! I tell you, I became like super panicked and started rubbing my finger. It just got redder and itchier. @.@ Then I spotted the caterpillar. It wasn't very big but it was super bristly and it was crawling on the tent pole. Damn you! Luckily the sting went away with a little water and antiseptic cream.
- Syamim the baby bird (named after Syamim, the girl. haha, don't ask me why). This was a little baby bird that fell off its nest near our campsite. And it couldn't fly yet so we played with it. When I can get my hands on a cute photo of it, I will put one here. It was grey and yellow and its mother was grey and red. It was the most adorable bird ever. Smaller than one's palm and extra fluffy. Like a fat snitch. We let it walk around on its own. But the next day, horror of all horrors, we found it dead. It had been stepped on. We were all horrified, like seriously. SO SAD. We made him a little grave.
- Real jungle trekking. No joke, please. We were bashing through fern and battling thick fauna. No surprise that the leeches got at us. Steep inclines and slippery mud too. I don't think I'd ever gotten that filthy before. I was covered in dirt, blood and sweat. O.O
- Trekking to the waterfall! (I can't quite remember its name; Takah Tinggi, maybe?) The trekking wasn't as filthy but it was STEEP (almost 90 degrees in certain places) and oh so energy-sapping. But it was so fun and worth it when we finally reached the waterfall!!! Awesome! We totally just splashed into the water. We had lifevests on, so although it was a bit deep at some corners of the plunge pool, we could enjoy the water. We filled our water bottles with the waterfall water. :P
- Tube rafting! We sat in individual buoys and rode down the rapids! It was a short one actually and the water tide was low, so I kept getting stuck in rocks. So it was a little bit of a letdown.
Okay, will say more if I have photos. :)
First of all, just to get this depressing news out of my way - I have lost my wallet. And all its important contents. EVERYTHING that is important was in it. Including my IC, my NUS matric card (1 year left and this happens!), my NUS EZ-link card, my DBS ATM card, my NLB card which had lasted me since primary school days, my BRAND NEW driving licence :( and more than S$100 cash I got from various people for my birthday. Also, other irreplacable knick-knacks like my ARTBOX membership card, my Videoezy membership card, my username and password for netsurfing at Singapore hotspots (that's it lah, I won't be able to remember them now!), numerous, ancient neoprints and about RM100.
How this happened? Was at Raffles Place MRT station yesterday with sis and sat down on a bench. I just left it on the bench, I think! I realised it when we reached City Hall, and we hurried back as fast as we could, but of course it wasn't there. And no one had turned it in to the control station. I ask you, why aren't there more honest people in this world??? :( I'd only left it for like 10 minutes. I blame my extra sleepiness for my extra blurness, cause I'd only gotten back from Rompin on Friday and hadn't rested enough; had to go out for APEX in the morning too.
Honestly, I just want my personal stuff back. Whoever you are can have the money lah okay. :( I just want the wallet back. My heart aches.
Secondly, yes, I'm back from Rompin! Which was both fun and tiring. As expected, I didn't use my camera because I was too afraid I'd damage it if I brought it into the jungle. I am dependent on the kind souls who have have been snapping away over there to put the pics up on facebook. Then maybe I'll post one or two of them here.
Some memorable things:
- Leech attack! I've got quite a bit of them. They were everywhere and I think everyone got at least one leech. They're not so much painful as they are disgusting. Looking at something sucking your blood is not a pleasant thing. You just want to scream, "GET THEM OFF ME!" Some of them sucked my blood through my pants. -.- So that I had like bloody spots on my knees and calves. And I definitely had several bites on my ankles. I was grateful for the smokers in our group, haha. Someone went like, "Oh, now you love the smokers ah!"
- Caterpillar attack! HAHA, okay, this wasn't really an attack of course. It was the last day and I was packing our tent, then out of the blue, I felt this incredible sting all over my finger, but I couldn't see anything! I tell you, I became like super panicked and started rubbing my finger. It just got redder and itchier. @.@ Then I spotted the caterpillar. It wasn't very big but it was super bristly and it was crawling on the tent pole. Damn you! Luckily the sting went away with a little water and antiseptic cream.
- Syamim the baby bird (named after Syamim, the girl. haha, don't ask me why). This was a little baby bird that fell off its nest near our campsite. And it couldn't fly yet so we played with it. When I can get my hands on a cute photo of it, I will put one here. It was grey and yellow and its mother was grey and red. It was the most adorable bird ever. Smaller than one's palm and extra fluffy. Like a fat snitch. We let it walk around on its own. But the next day, horror of all horrors, we found it dead. It had been stepped on. We were all horrified, like seriously. SO SAD. We made him a little grave.
- Real jungle trekking. No joke, please. We were bashing through fern and battling thick fauna. No surprise that the leeches got at us. Steep inclines and slippery mud too. I don't think I'd ever gotten that filthy before. I was covered in dirt, blood and sweat. O.O
- Trekking to the waterfall! (I can't quite remember its name; Takah Tinggi, maybe?) The trekking wasn't as filthy but it was STEEP (almost 90 degrees in certain places) and oh so energy-sapping. But it was so fun and worth it when we finally reached the waterfall!!! Awesome! We totally just splashed into the water. We had lifevests on, so although it was a bit deep at some corners of the plunge pool, we could enjoy the water. We filled our water bottles with the waterfall water. :P
- Tube rafting! We sat in individual buoys and rode down the rapids! It was a short one actually and the water tide was low, so I kept getting stuck in rocks. So it was a little bit of a letdown.
Okay, will say more if I have photos. :)
Monday, May 11, 2009
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
DONE WITH EXAMS! :DDDD
And this is my last summer break too.
I have not much to blabber on about, except:
Here's where you can go to read HILARIOUS and bad fanfiction summaries ingeniously collected by a fan; there are currently 42 batches dating back to 2005 --> McTabby's Summary Executions
A sampling (the spelling mistakes are not mine):
Charlie Bucket dicovers he is not really a Bucket, but a Wonka. That his parents are really the most unlikely of couples, Willy Wonka and Sirius Black. And that he has a twin sister and he is a wizard.
Dear Miss. Granger, We are sorry to inform you that your parents have perished and that you will live with the Malfoy's, and you will also be resorted. I am really sorry to have to tell you this. Please send yourself and your stuff to the headmaster's office. The Ministry of Magic
It's all really bad plot device. It's like: I'm going to put these two characters together and you can't do anything about it!
And apparently Harry-veela-vampire fanfics are common! LOOK at this:
Harry Potter is a Vepire, a cross between a veela and a vampire. Now, life is about to get confusing, and maybe, just maybe, he will finally find the love he has been looking for.
Oh this one cracked me up:
Harry is tired of all the drama and grief around him - between the recovery of losses in the Last Battle and the regular trials and troubles of a teenager, Harry wants to run, run away, and never have to face this again. At least, he doesn't want to be human anymore - could life be any better as a turtle? Hermione turns him - and herself - into turtles, and Harry suddenly realizes he'd rather be human. The only way to get back to his normal self is to kiss his love, but it has to be of the same species....He doesn't love Hermione, does he?
OH HAHAHA, this one takes the cake:
Harry and Hermione's daughter Herima is going to Hogwarts early but she doesn't know why. Would it have something to do with her wings?
Haha, wings! XD Why would their daughter have wings! And what kind of name is Herima???
Also, there's NEWS wo Abake!!! I love this segment! Where the boys are blindfolded and their voices changed so they become supposedly anonymous and therefore can confess their feelings.
And here are some random photos:
This is us posing in a bathroom at Marina Mandarin Hotel. Kak Shida got free night's stay there and we were basically spazzing at how awesome everything was. The bathroom was amazing and the plasma tv was huge too.
And this is Gobbles. :P
And this is my last summer break too.
I have not much to blabber on about, except:
Here's where you can go to read HILARIOUS and bad fanfiction summaries ingeniously collected by a fan; there are currently 42 batches dating back to 2005 --> McTabby's Summary Executions
A sampling (the spelling mistakes are not mine):
Charlie Bucket dicovers he is not really a Bucket, but a Wonka. That his parents are really the most unlikely of couples, Willy Wonka and Sirius Black. And that he has a twin sister and he is a wizard.
Dear Miss. Granger, We are sorry to inform you that your parents have perished and that you will live with the Malfoy's, and you will also be resorted. I am really sorry to have to tell you this. Please send yourself and your stuff to the headmaster's office. The Ministry of Magic
It's all really bad plot device. It's like: I'm going to put these two characters together and you can't do anything about it!
And apparently Harry-veela-vampire fanfics are common! LOOK at this:
Harry Potter is a Vepire, a cross between a veela and a vampire. Now, life is about to get confusing, and maybe, just maybe, he will finally find the love he has been looking for.
Oh this one cracked me up:
Harry is tired of all the drama and grief around him - between the recovery of losses in the Last Battle and the regular trials and troubles of a teenager, Harry wants to run, run away, and never have to face this again. At least, he doesn't want to be human anymore - could life be any better as a turtle? Hermione turns him - and herself - into turtles, and Harry suddenly realizes he'd rather be human. The only way to get back to his normal self is to kiss his love, but it has to be of the same species....He doesn't love Hermione, does he?
OH HAHAHA, this one takes the cake:
Harry and Hermione's daughter Herima is going to Hogwarts early but she doesn't know why. Would it have something to do with her wings?
Haha, wings! XD Why would their daughter have wings! And what kind of name is Herima???
Also, there's NEWS wo Abake!!! I love this segment! Where the boys are blindfolded and their voices changed so they become supposedly anonymous and therefore can confess their feelings.
And here are some random photos:
This is us posing in a bathroom at Marina Mandarin Hotel. Kak Shida got free night's stay there and we were basically spazzing at how awesome everything was. The bathroom was amazing and the plasma tv was huge too.
And this is Gobbles. :P
Monday, May 04, 2009
Official announcement for NEWS as 24 Hour TV hosts! Koyama and Shige sitting in the front row, flanking Yamapi is definitely non-accidental. Haha. They're the two that speak the best in the group. Ah, watching this makes me feel nervous for them. How will they compare with their senpais! :S scary.
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Lately, I've been thinking that I can't seem to blog properly. My english is becoming increasingly whacked, and I rarely end up conveying what I mean. Although, as always, I go through life and encounter times where I think, "Ah, this is a blog-worthy moment!", I just find it really hard to portray my feelings. More now. Maybe it's like what I discussed with Eunice - my thoughts and emotions are even more complex and muddled now that untangling them takes up too much effort. -_- It's really tiring at times to blog. Although I want to, I want to.
Temporary solution for lack of writing motivation: blogging list-like!
1) Siblings bought me the complete DVD set for Cardcaptor Sakura (one of my favourite animes ever)! XD They did say it was rather "inappropriate" a birthday gift for a 22-year-old, but they knew I'd love it anyway. I already started watching some episodes and gosh, it's nostalgic - SYAORAN! <3
2) This past saturday night, we went to Marina Mandarin Hotel to visit Kak Shida who'd gotten a complimentary stay as part of her work. The hotel is just AWESOME. Sis and me were nutty and squealy enough to take photos in the bathroom.
3)In the car, my brother attached his iPod to the speakers and started pretending to be a DJ, while the rest of my family pretended to call in for song requests. >.< It was all amusing, to say the least. Then my mum actually "called in" and made a birthday dedication to me - wishing me happiness and that I'd find my future partner and other sappy stuff - and my brother cranked up the volume on Click Five's 'Happy Birthday'. <3 At moments like that, I always feel like my family is surely the best in the world.
4) I think I finally really want my own mp3 player. Just so I can listen to JE away from my comp! haha.
5) My brother is insisting we watch a movie at GV's Gold Class Theatre at least once a year. The ticket costs approximately $36. MAD. But I'm actually considering it for the HP6 movie.
6) One exam paper left: Drug Design module! :S
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Lately, I've been thinking that I can't seem to blog properly. My english is becoming increasingly whacked, and I rarely end up conveying what I mean. Although, as always, I go through life and encounter times where I think, "Ah, this is a blog-worthy moment!", I just find it really hard to portray my feelings. More now. Maybe it's like what I discussed with Eunice - my thoughts and emotions are even more complex and muddled now that untangling them takes up too much effort. -_- It's really tiring at times to blog. Although I want to, I want to.
Temporary solution for lack of writing motivation: blogging list-like!
1) Siblings bought me the complete DVD set for Cardcaptor Sakura (one of my favourite animes ever)! XD They did say it was rather "inappropriate" a birthday gift for a 22-year-old, but they knew I'd love it anyway. I already started watching some episodes and gosh, it's nostalgic - SYAORAN! <3
2) This past saturday night, we went to Marina Mandarin Hotel to visit Kak Shida who'd gotten a complimentary stay as part of her work. The hotel is just AWESOME. Sis and me were nutty and squealy enough to take photos in the bathroom.
3)In the car, my brother attached his iPod to the speakers and started pretending to be a DJ, while the rest of my family pretended to call in for song requests. >.< It was all amusing, to say the least. Then my mum actually "called in" and made a birthday dedication to me - wishing me happiness and that I'd find my future partner and other sappy stuff - and my brother cranked up the volume on Click Five's 'Happy Birthday'. <3 At moments like that, I always feel like my family is surely the best in the world.
4) I think I finally really want my own mp3 player. Just so I can listen to JE away from my comp! haha.
5) My brother is insisting we watch a movie at GV's Gold Class Theatre at least once a year. The ticket costs approximately $36. MAD. But I'm actually considering it for the HP6 movie.
6) One exam paper left: Drug Design module! :S
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Considering I have two papers tomorrow - whoops, I mean later today, I had a great birthday. Woke up feeling upset about my laptop's power cord that kind of frayed and refused to function as a wire should function. I couldn't power up my comp at all as a result. I tried to study depite being depressed. Then my family called and said they had picked up our new family car (a brown/grey/"purple" Honda Civic) and wanted to have lunch. And I just couldn't say no.
So I traipsed off from home and joined my family for lunch at Waroeng Penyet. How awesome is it that I got to eat at my two favourite places yesterday - Hei Sushi - and today - Penyet? :) Then we went to Tampines1 for a while where I tried to find replacement for power cord at Challenger. Challenger didn't have it so I went to Funnan Centre with daddy and found it! :)
I received nice wishes from wonderful people like Jiawen and Bubu and Kaktiyah and Cik Nah and Ahmad and Aunty Jah. Shweta even called me up. Mumu gave me a singing chimpanzee via sms. YuJie was super awesome for being the first one to wish me happy birthday (12.01 am) although she's far away in London. She sent me a text message! @.@ I really didn't expect one from her. My sister dedicated a post on her LJ, but it's F-locked, so.
Of course, like I said, I already celebrated everything prematurely on Tuesday, with Eunice:
We had sushi, as per our usual. And I got a card from all the birds together!
The birds gave me The Fire Kimono! A book I've been meaning to buy for a while now. So yay. :)
So I traipsed off from home and joined my family for lunch at Waroeng Penyet. How awesome is it that I got to eat at my two favourite places yesterday - Hei Sushi - and today - Penyet? :) Then we went to Tampines1 for a while where I tried to find replacement for power cord at Challenger. Challenger didn't have it so I went to Funnan Centre with daddy and found it! :)
I received nice wishes from wonderful people like Jiawen and Bubu and Kaktiyah and Cik Nah and Ahmad and Aunty Jah. Shweta even called me up. Mumu gave me a singing chimpanzee via sms. YuJie was super awesome for being the first one to wish me happy birthday (12.01 am) although she's far away in London. She sent me a text message! @.@ I really didn't expect one from her. My sister dedicated a post on her LJ, but it's F-locked, so.
Of course, like I said, I already celebrated everything prematurely on Tuesday, with Eunice:
We had sushi, as per our usual. And I got a card from all the birds together!
The birds gave me The Fire Kimono! A book I've been meaning to buy for a while now. So yay. :)NEWS gave me one of the best presents for being the group hosting 24 hour tv this year! YAY. SO HAPPY. NEWS finally hosting a show! (even if it is a one-off thing) Exciting desu. XD Also, they released Koi no ABO on my birthday, and it shot straight to number one! so now NEWS has 11 singles which hit number 1. Yay. I am proud to be a fan.
NEWS on Hey!Hey!Hey! on 27th April
NEWS on Hey!Hey!Hey! on 27th April
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Got my birthday surprise from the birds today. (: THANK YOU. <3 x 100000000.
Eunice called me out for lunch, so we had sushi for the millionth time. Before that, we had tea/coffee at Ehub's Teasire Cafe (or something like that) where I copied off Eunice's drug design lecture notes. That took like two hours. Then we moved to Hei Sushi for lunch. And we sat for hours there. I got my present and card!
The card is especially wonderful because it travelled from London to Hong Kong to Singapore via post, before it finally reached me. I took photos of the card but my camera just died on me, so I have zero pictures right now. -.- It's amazing how I feel like all of us were there to celebrate although we're so far apart.
They gave me the latest installment of the Sano Ichiro series, which I've been searching for a long time! The Fire Kimono. :) Love it, guys. Love it.
Okay, I'll blog properly when it's really my birthday tomorrow.
Eunice called me out for lunch, so we had sushi for the millionth time. Before that, we had tea/coffee at Ehub's Teasire Cafe (or something like that) where I copied off Eunice's drug design lecture notes. That took like two hours. Then we moved to Hei Sushi for lunch. And we sat for hours there. I got my present and card!
The card is especially wonderful because it travelled from London to Hong Kong to Singapore via post, before it finally reached me. I took photos of the card but my camera just died on me, so I have zero pictures right now. -.- It's amazing how I feel like all of us were there to celebrate although we're so far apart.
They gave me the latest installment of the Sano Ichiro series, which I've been searching for a long time! The Fire Kimono. :) Love it, guys. Love it.
Okay, I'll blog properly when it's really my birthday tomorrow.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Ah, I've missed NEWS! :D Shige and Koyama can totally host their own show already. They blabber on so much. Can NEWS please have their own show.
Yamapi actually did Nobuta Power chuunyu! HAHA. He did Hallelujah Chance too. And his hair was actually still decent in the winter con here. For the Music Station Koi no ABO performance, his hair was like - WHAT. SERIOUSLY. Super curly and he used a hairband?! O.o Please. Where is your nice, straight, dark hair?
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Last night we had liqa' as usual, and then we had late night supper with Ami Omar's family at Ya Salam. And discussed much. About religion again. And how us cousins should go to Japan, if not US, for that cousin trip we've been dreaming up for years. I wonder if it'll ever happen.
Yamapi actually did Nobuta Power chuunyu! HAHA. He did Hallelujah Chance too. And his hair was actually still decent in the winter con here. For the Music Station Koi no ABO performance, his hair was like - WHAT. SERIOUSLY. Super curly and he used a hairband?! O.o Please. Where is your nice, straight, dark hair?
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Last night we had liqa' as usual, and then we had late night supper with Ami Omar's family at Ya Salam. And discussed much. About religion again. And how us cousins should go to Japan, if not US, for that cousin trip we've been dreaming up for years. I wonder if it'll ever happen.
Friday, April 24, 2009
I finally watched the first episode of Atashinchi no Danshi with subs, and I love it! :D The second brother, Takeru, is so far the funniest; his lines are laugh-out-loud funny. And the little kid is cuuute. And Maki - gah. I just love her to pieces. The whole premise is rather wonky and mad but totally interesting. I can't wait to see what happens. :D nya nya nya! (In the spirit of Sho's version of a cat. Haha, that episode of Shukudai totally got me.)
I'm only 10% done with my incremental learning report due today :S (I am a danger to myself) but I am having so much fun with my primary school class page on facebook! XD OHGOSH. Qiaonan primary really was my childhood, untainted. Then came RG, and everything um, sort of crumbled. Haha. Not that I had no fun at all in RGS or RJ, but my primary school class was the absolute best. Absolute absolute best. Basically cause I think we grew up together. And did so many stupid things together. And everyone was real; I don't know how else to describe it. And we stayed together for the better part of 6 years. I love everyone there, I think.
We got almost everyone already!!! 31 people!! :DDDD
ohgosh. I love qps. I get happy tingly feelings of nostalgia. I remember absolute random things that are so special. Like brushing our teeth after recess at the back of the canteen. Adibah buying me my first birthday present from a friend. Haha, I still remember it. A pencil. Running around in class and planning surprises for Mrs Choo. The Catching Club (whichI wasn't a part of), founded by Daryl - they played catching EVERY recess time. And then I remember Adibah wanted to have our own club, so we started Kidz Club. Like WHAT THE HELL IS THAT. HAHA. And we made magazines and everything!! XD Although I can't remember what we actually wrote about. And I remember Chin Seng was part of this club too and would do all the illustrations. And I remember that Firdaus was cutest Malay boy. Wei Liang was cutest boy, period - someone even mentioned it in facebook. Haha. And I was short (no surprise), second only to Adibah. And Bryan, the shortest boy! Muaha. Nothing can possibly match that homely feeling of qps. Everybody knew everybody else. It really feels like a hometown school of some sort, before we all ventured out into the real Singapore. And this facebook group only confirms that we all feel somewhat the same way. (:
We got almost everyone already!!! 31 people!! :DDDD
ohgosh. I love qps. I get happy tingly feelings of nostalgia. I remember absolute random things that are so special. Like brushing our teeth after recess at the back of the canteen. Adibah buying me my first birthday present from a friend. Haha, I still remember it. A pencil. Running around in class and planning surprises for Mrs Choo. The Catching Club (whichI wasn't a part of), founded by Daryl - they played catching EVERY recess time. And then I remember Adibah wanted to have our own club, so we started Kidz Club. Like WHAT THE HELL IS THAT. HAHA. And we made magazines and everything!! XD Although I can't remember what we actually wrote about. And I remember Chin Seng was part of this club too and would do all the illustrations. And I remember that Firdaus was cutest Malay boy. Wei Liang was cutest boy, period - someone even mentioned it in facebook. Haha. And I was short (no surprise), second only to Adibah. And Bryan, the shortest boy! Muaha. Nothing can possibly match that homely feeling of qps. Everybody knew everybody else. It really feels like a hometown school of some sort, before we all ventured out into the real Singapore. And this facebook group only confirms that we all feel somewhat the same way. (:
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Been watching vids again. Although I should be studying or working. -.- Here's one where Ustaz Khalid Yasin speaks about women in Islam. =) Part of the reason my faith in Islam is so strong is because I can find no other institution or system that protects women as much as Islam does.
Here's another one. He speaks for all the irritation I feel when people think that, you know, poor Muslim girls are being oppressed and are likely daft or stg and have to be made to suffer. No, my dad did not force me to wear the tudung, I assure you, although even my Muslim friends would think so. I chose to do it myself when I was 11 and even my relatives were shocked, and said that it was okay if I didn't wear it. It really is irritating. There's this stupid assumption that modernity comes with the way we dress, instead of what's in our brains.
When I was in human relations class and we'd have all those heated discussions about controversial issues, I think everyone could tell I'm a conservative. I mean, even for our project presentation, I played the role of the conservative Singaporean heartlander. I'm fine with it. I try to be a good Muslim and if that labels me as a conservative (although I don't like these labels), so be it. But what I get irritated with is this idea that if I'm conservative, then surely, my ideas about women are backward. Like, I can't be conservative and feminist at the same time, although 'feminist' may not be the label I like to use here. Like it's a given - if people are not what is termed 'liberal', then they're not pro-woman or stg. It's really stupid. Which woman does not want respect and equality for women??? I just feel that feminists, the really extreme feminist types, have a misplaced idea about equality for women. We don't want to be like men, do we? We just want to be respected as much as men. Equal but not the same, you know? We want to be respected as women. Sigh. I think the world is largely confused about everything.
Here's a little from my Human Relations exam paper: we were supposed to comment on the articles. They're quite interesting.
So while “pro-choice” feminists hail abortion as the symbol of women’s sexual freedom and equality, the ordinary young woman may find no such liberation when she has sex with her date, thinking, as women are prone to do, that sex will bind the two emotionally. Instead, when he doesn’t share the depth of her feelings and then hands her $400 for the abortion when she becomes pregnant, it’s not only her heart that’s broken. She alone has to live with the possible short-term and long-term medical consequences of the abortion for the rest of her life. For many women, “reproductive freedom” has meant that women continue to negotiate all that comes with reproduction while men enjoy the freedom of sex without consequences.
The victimization felt by such a large majority of women who undergo abortions, though not appreciated or even recognized by today’s “pro-choice” feminist, was acutely foreseen by an earlier generation of feminists. America’s pioneering feminists, who fought for the right to vote and fair treatment in the workplace, were uniformly against abortion because they recognized it as an attack on women as women—those uniquely endowed with the ability to bear children. While these pioneering feminists endured the painstaking fight to change male-dominated political and economic institutions, the “pro-choice” feminists of the 1970s and today instead sought to change the very nature of women, convincing many of them that, if they’re to be equal to men, they must simply become like men.
~ How Abortion Hurts Women: The Hard Truth, by Erika Bachiochi
Here's another one. He speaks for all the irritation I feel when people think that, you know, poor Muslim girls are being oppressed and are likely daft or stg and have to be made to suffer. No, my dad did not force me to wear the tudung, I assure you, although even my Muslim friends would think so. I chose to do it myself when I was 11 and even my relatives were shocked, and said that it was okay if I didn't wear it. It really is irritating. There's this stupid assumption that modernity comes with the way we dress, instead of what's in our brains.
When I was in human relations class and we'd have all those heated discussions about controversial issues, I think everyone could tell I'm a conservative. I mean, even for our project presentation, I played the role of the conservative Singaporean heartlander. I'm fine with it. I try to be a good Muslim and if that labels me as a conservative (although I don't like these labels), so be it. But what I get irritated with is this idea that if I'm conservative, then surely, my ideas about women are backward. Like, I can't be conservative and feminist at the same time, although 'feminist' may not be the label I like to use here. Like it's a given - if people are not what is termed 'liberal', then they're not pro-woman or stg. It's really stupid. Which woman does not want respect and equality for women??? I just feel that feminists, the really extreme feminist types, have a misplaced idea about equality for women. We don't want to be like men, do we? We just want to be respected as much as men. Equal but not the same, you know? We want to be respected as women. Sigh. I think the world is largely confused about everything.
Here's a little from my Human Relations exam paper: we were supposed to comment on the articles. They're quite interesting.
So while “pro-choice” feminists hail abortion as the symbol of women’s sexual freedom and equality, the ordinary young woman may find no such liberation when she has sex with her date, thinking, as women are prone to do, that sex will bind the two emotionally. Instead, when he doesn’t share the depth of her feelings and then hands her $400 for the abortion when she becomes pregnant, it’s not only her heart that’s broken. She alone has to live with the possible short-term and long-term medical consequences of the abortion for the rest of her life. For many women, “reproductive freedom” has meant that women continue to negotiate all that comes with reproduction while men enjoy the freedom of sex without consequences.
The victimization felt by such a large majority of women who undergo abortions, though not appreciated or even recognized by today’s “pro-choice” feminist, was acutely foreseen by an earlier generation of feminists. America’s pioneering feminists, who fought for the right to vote and fair treatment in the workplace, were uniformly against abortion because they recognized it as an attack on women as women—those uniquely endowed with the ability to bear children. While these pioneering feminists endured the painstaking fight to change male-dominated political and economic institutions, the “pro-choice” feminists of the 1970s and today instead sought to change the very nature of women, convincing many of them that, if they’re to be equal to men, they must simply become like men.
~ How Abortion Hurts Women: The Hard Truth, by Erika Bachiochi
OMG SPIDERMAN WAS AT NUS LIBRARY??? HAHAHAHAHA. XD Several students have posted the video on youtube and it is funny! HAHA. Wish I could have been there to witness it myself. Maybe it was some weird psychology-related project? Or maybe a stunt by OSA to supposedly help students with destressing this mugging period?
HAHA. NUS knows how to have fun too, I guess.
But I should start on my work. :S
HAHA. NUS knows how to have fun too, I guess.
But I should start on my work. :S
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
The new HP6 movie trailer! :D There's Harry/Draco action, pretty special effects and it all looks potentially awesome.
There was a time when things like this was enough.
I am plagued by stupid big questions. I think there are some people like me who keep getting obsessed about understanding the big picture, that they forget to care about the little details. And because of that... it feels like I've missed out on a lot.
Oh life, tell me what I'm missing out on.
In my muddle of a brain, I keep picturing my life like a bounded lawn, and I keep peeking over to look at other people's lawns. "Oh, that person's grass looks greener!" And I don't think it's jealousy per se. I mean, I'm not about to climb over the fences that separate us and take over someone else's lawn. It's more like... confusion. Have I tended my lawn enough? What am I doing wrong? I love my lawn, but I keep wondering... if something's wrong.
Oh, the pressures of conformity! Don't you think that without it, we'd be more free to love with all our hearts?
You know, somebody should just stop me from blogging. -.- I don't make sense half the time, and the other half, I'm just spazzing. Randomness should be my middle name.
There was a time when things like this was enough.
I am plagued by stupid big questions. I think there are some people like me who keep getting obsessed about understanding the big picture, that they forget to care about the little details. And because of that... it feels like I've missed out on a lot.
Oh life, tell me what I'm missing out on.
In my muddle of a brain, I keep picturing my life like a bounded lawn, and I keep peeking over to look at other people's lawns. "Oh, that person's grass looks greener!" And I don't think it's jealousy per se. I mean, I'm not about to climb over the fences that separate us and take over someone else's lawn. It's more like... confusion. Have I tended my lawn enough? What am I doing wrong? I love my lawn, but I keep wondering... if something's wrong.
Oh, the pressures of conformity! Don't you think that without it, we'd be more free to love with all our hearts?
You know, somebody should just stop me from blogging. -.- I don't make sense half the time, and the other half, I'm just spazzing. Randomness should be my middle name.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Projects driving me nuts. Then a moment ago, started watching adorable owls on youtube instead! They are seriously CUTE. They are furry and they sit in the grass! XD
And then Eunice brought up Scotland, of course. And this is a mad convo.
Eunice: I wanna go to Scotland.
Me: do you think we'd be able to spot cute animals!! but I'd be scared of wolves etc
Eunice: WOLVES? Haha
Me: I mean, if we could spot cute animals, we could spot scary ones! like bears or stg! or mountain lions! are there those? HAHA
Eunice: Leopards!
Me: GAH!
Eunice: Will there be tree leopards? I want!!
Me: Eunice. SCARY! DO YOU WANT TO DIE
Eunice: As long as we don't make threatening moves towards them...
Me: SERIOUSLY O.O
Eunice: How often do you hear about animals mauling people to death in Scotland
Me: but still! I want to enjoy my graduation trip, not kill myself, thank you.
Eunice: HAHA I don't think we'll see any, actually
Me: If we see a tree leopard, we are running away!
Eunice: Not before taking loads of photos.
And then Eunice brought up Scotland, of course. And this is a mad convo.
Eunice: I wanna go to Scotland.
Me: do you think we'd be able to spot cute animals!! but I'd be scared of wolves etc
Eunice: WOLVES? Haha
Me: I mean, if we could spot cute animals, we could spot scary ones! like bears or stg! or mountain lions! are there those? HAHA
Eunice: Leopards!
Me: GAH!
Eunice: Will there be tree leopards? I want!!
Me: Eunice. SCARY! DO YOU WANT TO DIE
Eunice: As long as we don't make threatening moves towards them...
Me: SERIOUSLY O.O
Eunice: How often do you hear about animals mauling people to death in Scotland
Me: but still! I want to enjoy my graduation trip, not kill myself, thank you.
Eunice: HAHA I don't think we'll see any, actually
Me: If we see a tree leopard, we are running away!
Eunice: Not before taking loads of photos.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
It's Tuesday of last week of sem. It's been crazy. And it will remain crazy all the way till Sunday. BUT I CAN DO THIS! I SHALL SURVIVE!
Rapidminer Drug Design project is super mad. We can't run our programs due to lack of computer RAM and so now... GAH. An entire section on feature selection thrown out.
I should sleep. Inspiration only comes to those with a clear mind anyway. 'Night!
Rapidminer Drug Design project is super mad. We can't run our programs due to lack of computer RAM and so now... GAH. An entire section on feature selection thrown out.
I should sleep. Inspiration only comes to those with a clear mind anyway. 'Night!
Sunday, April 12, 2009
It's so irritating. I hate how any form of anger I feel just keeps getting transformed into hurt like some unstoppable math equation, and I fail to vent my anger in any satisfying manner. It's like the urge to rage is always quickly buried under the urge to huddle and cry. It's UGGGHHHH! In the end, no matter what, I am the one always feeling horrid, and the injustice of it just maddens me.
Like the other night when I came back home after dinner with some friends, and I found the house pitch black and empty and I'd realised the entire family had gone to watch a movie without telling, and a movie that I'd badly wanted to see too, I felt so angry. How inconsiderate and thoughtless the whole thing was. And I remember thinking, 'I haven't felt so angry in a long time'. But looking back, I think it was more the fact that there was no one around; lack of inhibition allowed me to feel my anger. And for once, you know, I could slam the door. And just let go.
Ah sigh. I swear, I should buy some cheap china and have a corner for plate-breaking.
Like the other night when I came back home after dinner with some friends, and I found the house pitch black and empty and I'd realised the entire family had gone to watch a movie without telling, and a movie that I'd badly wanted to see too, I felt so angry. How inconsiderate and thoughtless the whole thing was. And I remember thinking, 'I haven't felt so angry in a long time'. But looking back, I think it was more the fact that there was no one around; lack of inhibition allowed me to feel my anger. And for once, you know, I could slam the door. And just let go.
Ah sigh. I swear, I should buy some cheap china and have a corner for plate-breaking.
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
I've been meaning to say how much I love my friends. Then this coincidentally (or not) came along via post yesterday:
(okay, I can't seem to rotate this image, maybe you can tilt your head to read. :P)
Duck sent me another set of Arashi vids to watch as an early birthday present! I was so happy when I got home last night and saw the familiar puffy package that normally comes from her. I actually did a hoppity-twirly sort of dance. SO HAPPY. (I love you, and thank you!) I really love snail mail.
And yes, I spent some of last night watching hilarious Arashi stuff. Was laughing so hard!!! I love the kindergarten GnoArashi episode. XD CRACKED ME UP TO NO END. And eeeeeeeps!!! So many episodes of Tokyo Friend Park!!!
I <3 my friends.
I was thinking the other day about that phrase A friend in need is a friend indeed. I'd always wondered about it before. And earlier, I supposed it meant that, when you help a friend, you can only look forward to help in return, and that's how friendship blossoms. I suppose that's true. But more recently I've realised you can look at it a different way. Some people, and I categorise myself in this group, don't ever, ever, ask for help, unless truly desperate. And even then, they ask a select people. And so when they ask for help, it is from a friend. And not just any friend either; it's a friend they know they can trust. So, when someone comes up to me and sincerely asks for help, I get it now why I feel like it's impossible to refuse. Because you know people don't just ask anyone for help. When someone asks for your help, that's when someone looks at you as a true friend. And if you don't recognise that, damn, I say.
(okay, I can't seem to rotate this image, maybe you can tilt your head to read. :P)Duck sent me another set of Arashi vids to watch as an early birthday present! I was so happy when I got home last night and saw the familiar puffy package that normally comes from her. I actually did a hoppity-twirly sort of dance. SO HAPPY. (I love you, and thank you!) I really love snail mail.
And yes, I spent some of last night watching hilarious Arashi stuff. Was laughing so hard!!! I love the kindergarten GnoArashi episode. XD CRACKED ME UP TO NO END. And eeeeeeeps!!! So many episodes of Tokyo Friend Park!!!
I <3 my friends.
I was thinking the other day about that phrase A friend in need is a friend indeed. I'd always wondered about it before. And earlier, I supposed it meant that, when you help a friend, you can only look forward to help in return, and that's how friendship blossoms. I suppose that's true. But more recently I've realised you can look at it a different way. Some people, and I categorise myself in this group, don't ever, ever, ask for help, unless truly desperate. And even then, they ask a select people. And so when they ask for help, it is from a friend. And not just any friend either; it's a friend they know they can trust. So, when someone comes up to me and sincerely asks for help, I get it now why I feel like it's impossible to refuse. Because you know people don't just ask anyone for help. When someone asks for your help, that's when someone looks at you as a true friend. And if you don't recognise that, damn, I say.
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
If you've talked to me at all recently, you'll know how nuts my schedule is these last two weeks of semester. Multiple projects (a total of 5 term projects + 2 assignments) due on the same days, and multiple presentations. :S Needless to say, all of it is nerve-wrecking. But I wonder if it is my new-found adult confidence that keeps me from falling to pieces. I am constantly surprised by my lack of hyperventilation.
Don't get me wrong. There are moments of pure panic. (Haha.) Like yesterday, when I met Eunice, and started prattling to her about the things I have yet to get done -- I was quickly morphing into this @.@ and my breath kept getting stuck somewhere. And then later in the night after class, when I talked to Raphael (super-student who does one million tasks simultaneously), I felt like hyperventilating again when he asked if the state of all my projects was as bad as Human Relations that we had together.
Yes? Most of them are in a rather shabby, uncompiled, all-over-the-place mess.
But you know, when I'm alone and thinking, I actually feel okay. Maybe I'm deluded. :P Maybe it's my brain's way of self-defence, to keep me deluded about the hot boiling soup I'm in. Or maybe I have truly grown up and being depressed about stupid homework and assignments and projects is just too childish for me now. Didn't Lymond say something like, only immaturity boggles at the sad face of failure?
Or maybe you know. I've gained an unshakeable perspective on things. Because, crap, in the bigger scheme of things; in the truly, truly, truly bigger and universal scheme of things -- all I'm going through in NUS and the rat-race world in general are but peanuts. Peanuts, okay. Sure, I love learning about biology and how mathematics figures into the study of DNA and proteins (math is my favourite module currently, and amazingly so) but at the end of the day, if you ask me, the knowledge I truly treasure isn't this. My life has completely and wonderfully shifted its center and focus. The priceless knowledge about Allah and Rasul, I think, is the one I treat as truly miraculous and has kept me steadfast, somehow, and if everything else should crumble to the depths of the Earth, I will still feel okay. (:
That being said, I still can't abandon ship. All this does matter in its own way. And so, ganbarimasu! X) These two weeks will be fine.
I have bioinformatics meeting later today and I realise that yay, I have the car! Well, more like my brother has the car, so he can drive me. And I'll stop by the Central Library to watch a documentary for my human relations project.
Moving on to fandom for a bit: I am starting to really, really like Arashi's Believe. I didn't think I would! But I've had the song on repeat for a while now and there's something about it that keeps me wanting more. Sho and Aiba look good in the PV; Jun's hair is just ughhhh( and why is he wearing that bow?!); Nino looks like he's aged somehow; but Ohno is the same as ever.
Did I say Sho looked good in the video? He really does. I'm starting to love Sho a lot lately. I think I like guys in formal shirt-wear. :P
I've also listened to NEWS' new single called Koi no ABO and SIGH. -__- So far, I'm disappointed. It sounds more like a KATTUN song; it isn't catchy and just noisy. I'm hoping I'll change my mind about it over time, maybe when the PV comes out. For me, it's been downhill since NEWS released Summertime last year. Can we have nice songs, please!!! This is only feeding my theory that NEWS is the most neglected JE group. What with Pi complaining in his jweb about how he feels useless.
Okay, am back to work. :S The upside of all this is that it'll zoom by really fast and the next thing I know, it'll be the summer break and YAY THE SPRING DRAMAS. :D
Don't get me wrong. There are moments of pure panic. (Haha.) Like yesterday, when I met Eunice, and started prattling to her about the things I have yet to get done -- I was quickly morphing into this @.@ and my breath kept getting stuck somewhere. And then later in the night after class, when I talked to Raphael (super-student who does one million tasks simultaneously), I felt like hyperventilating again when he asked if the state of all my projects was as bad as Human Relations that we had together.
Yes? Most of them are in a rather shabby, uncompiled, all-over-the-place mess.
But you know, when I'm alone and thinking, I actually feel okay. Maybe I'm deluded. :P Maybe it's my brain's way of self-defence, to keep me deluded about the hot boiling soup I'm in. Or maybe I have truly grown up and being depressed about stupid homework and assignments and projects is just too childish for me now. Didn't Lymond say something like, only immaturity boggles at the sad face of failure?
Or maybe you know. I've gained an unshakeable perspective on things. Because, crap, in the bigger scheme of things; in the truly, truly, truly bigger and universal scheme of things -- all I'm going through in NUS and the rat-race world in general are but peanuts. Peanuts, okay. Sure, I love learning about biology and how mathematics figures into the study of DNA and proteins (math is my favourite module currently, and amazingly so) but at the end of the day, if you ask me, the knowledge I truly treasure isn't this. My life has completely and wonderfully shifted its center and focus. The priceless knowledge about Allah and Rasul, I think, is the one I treat as truly miraculous and has kept me steadfast, somehow, and if everything else should crumble to the depths of the Earth, I will still feel okay. (:
That being said, I still can't abandon ship. All this does matter in its own way. And so, ganbarimasu! X) These two weeks will be fine.
I have bioinformatics meeting later today and I realise that yay, I have the car! Well, more like my brother has the car, so he can drive me. And I'll stop by the Central Library to watch a documentary for my human relations project.
Moving on to fandom for a bit: I am starting to really, really like Arashi's Believe. I didn't think I would! But I've had the song on repeat for a while now and there's something about it that keeps me wanting more. Sho and Aiba look good in the PV; Jun's hair is just ughhhh( and why is he wearing that bow?!); Nino looks like he's aged somehow; but Ohno is the same as ever.
Did I say Sho looked good in the video? He really does. I'm starting to love Sho a lot lately. I think I like guys in formal shirt-wear. :P
I've also listened to NEWS' new single called Koi no ABO and SIGH. -__- So far, I'm disappointed. It sounds more like a KATTUN song; it isn't catchy and just noisy. I'm hoping I'll change my mind about it over time, maybe when the PV comes out. For me, it's been downhill since NEWS released Summertime last year. Can we have nice songs, please!!! This is only feeding my theory that NEWS is the most neglected JE group. What with Pi complaining in his jweb about how he feels useless.
Okay, am back to work. :S The upside of all this is that it'll zoom by really fast and the next thing I know, it'll be the summer break and YAY THE SPRING DRAMAS. :D
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
I've been returning to HP a little lately. Here's the sixth movie trailer! It really looks quite promising. I think David Yates did a good job with the fifth movie; it wasn't absolutely perfect but overall, it made the best HP adaptation so far. The 6th movie makes me excited.
Danny Gokey sang What Hurts The Most by Rascal Flatts on American Idol tonight. And that song remains one of my favourite songs ever. I just love it so much. And so I went hunting online for their music video. Except youtube doesn't really have a nice upload of it and there are mainly tons of fanvids with this song, because people love it so much. And I decided on one of 1 Litre of Tears. Because the mood of the series matches the sadness of the song, I guess. And besides, Haruto/Aya is a tragic OTP. Warning though: this has tons of spoilers.
Danny Gokey sang What Hurts The Most by Rascal Flatts on American Idol tonight. And that song remains one of my favourite songs ever. I just love it so much. And so I went hunting online for their music video. Except youtube doesn't really have a nice upload of it and there are mainly tons of fanvids with this song, because people love it so much. And I decided on one of 1 Litre of Tears. Because the mood of the series matches the sadness of the song, I guess. And besides, Haruto/Aya is a tragic OTP. Warning though: this has tons of spoilers.