Saturday, February 10, 2018

Met up with friends this afternoon
and we had a good ranting/discussion
about frustrations with the world
and how hard it is to hold on to idealism as we grow older.

But, tonight, I finally watched some happy things;
and animal videos paired with BTS is gold!
hehe this is so adorable.

And I think this is then, also a good place to declare hiatus --
on a happy/cute note.

I'm going off for a mini-pilgrimage and this is a chance for a full spiritual cleansing,
and some fasting from virtual life. Doubtless I'd feel the craving to write in a few days or so,
but I'll write long-hand and privately instead. It will hopefully reorder my thoughts for a while.

Insya Allah, may this spiritual retreat give me and all whom I love 
amazing and unprecedented returns,
both for this world and the next. Amin.

Ja, till next time!

Thursday, February 08, 2018

This is distressing!!!
And the fact that this happens in supposed-Muslim countries
enrages me so much, I can't even--

I remember visiting Dubai and hating the place so much.
I hate the place, I hate the system, and unfortunately by extension,
I hate the people who allow it to exist.
The place reeked of arrogance. I cannot impress enough how much I hate it.

Insya Allah, I am visiting the Hijaz soon to make Umrah after wow, about 13 years -- and already, we expect to be discriminated by our fellow Arab Muslims while in the land of the Arabs. They actually apparently now have different doors through which different nationalities can go through to access certain special places -- seriously, WT-. WHY. Why should there be any difference between human beings making pilgrimage??? The whole point of the pilgrimage is to equalize humanity and face God with all your bare needs! What is wrong with you! Sometimes, thinking of these things, makes me want to self-combust from anger.

I have some Arabic heritage and the Arab culture is so problematic, I could scream. Racism and sexism exists everywhere, whenever the opportunity to trump over someone presents itself; but I am acquainted with the way it functions in Arab communities and it is abhorrent. And if it was not for the beautiful man that was the Prophet s.a.w. who came from amongst them as a gift from God and then revolutionized humanity forever -- omg, I am being mean here -- these Arabs might still be evil tribes lounging around in the dust, squabbling with each other. (At some level, Astaghfirllah, aren't they regressing to that time?) Ugh, what is wrong with all you Muslims! What happened to us emulating the noble Prophet s.a.w.!!!! How are you not ashamed in front of him!

The Prophet s.a.w. was the best to all human beings. At one point in his life, Zaid, a slave-boy, was gifted to him on his wedding day. He treated Zaid so beautifully and eventually made him his adoptive son. Eventually, when Zaid's birth family found him after years of having lost him, Zaid told them he wanted to stay with the Prophet s.a.w.. That's the way you should treat human beings! You should treat them to the point that they would hate to part from you. And then we have these supposed-human beings treating other humans like this???

My sis used to watch this youtuber a lot,
and I suddenly remembered this particular post he had,
in relation to racism.

yessssssss. say it like it is, Subhi.

racism has got to go;
our Prophet already told us 1400 years ago! aiyohhhh.

Tuesday, February 06, 2018

*The Good Place spoilers!*

oh my god, this scene was hilarious:

Eleanor: I hate to be the bearer of bad news but...
Jason: Uh, I think you mean bad news bear?
Everyone else: ..................


The wedding vows are hilarious too! 
I can't believe Tahani referred to Jason as a swamp dweller HAHA.

All the characters of this show are insane and hilarious, and actually quite likable, surprisingly!

I've never been much of a sitcom person,
but this show is working for me, I think because half the time,
the characters have to grapple with morals and ethics
and they discuss philosophers and omg it is very funny.

And probably, I'm just really a Kristen Bell fangirl! hehe. I love this lady.

Sunday, February 04, 2018

Saturday, February 03, 2018

isn't this cool! I've been reading this humungous book called 
Dead Feminists, Historic Heroines in Living Color
by Chandler O'Leary and Jessica Springs,
that compiles beautiful artwork dedicated to wonderful women through history.
This one above commemorates Fatima Al-Fihri who founded 
the University of Al-Qarawiyyin in Fez, Morrocco 
i.e. the oldest running university in the world.
I am so compelled to get one of these broadsheets for myself!
Maybe I can frame it up next to my Harry Potter in print framed poster I have in my room. :P

and my, is my brain bursting with ideas at the moment.

This morning too, I had a wonderful sharing session about
language stimulation strategies with some parents;
it was fun and stimulating
and the kids were super-enjoying themselves;
and I feel my adrenaline running high

and I feel like we all should be doing more, more.
Alhamdulillah. (:


Thank you for being such wonderful role models for women, 
for me.

Right after writing that I had a sad moment thinking about how I feel I lack Muslimah role models.

It's like, in Islam, you either become this super-pious lady and somehow that seems to immediately mean you disappear from visible public life, staying cloistered in prayer and behind veils; or if you do appear in mainstream public platforms, the implication at some level is that, you must really not be that pious a Muslim lady (and looked down by Muslim men who think you're too much out-there to be a good Muslim lady). I know this dichotomy is probably really, really wrong! But that is the impression I get within the culture I live in, and the pressure I get. I actually feel annoyed that I still think or feel like this. This is clearly wrong.

ohmygodddd -- I just googled Souad Al Hakim, and she's actually available in English. *tiny explosion in my brain* She just popped into my head as a current living example for a Muslim lady who is so out-there, speaks commonly in public spaces (and she doesn't even sport the hijab!), and who is well-respected in Sufi circles and amongst Muslims, men and women alike.

It is astonishing that a colossal Islamic scholar, Muhyiddin Ibn 'Arabî (AH 560-638), who lived more than eight centuries ago, should have declared that woman and man are absolutely equal in terms of human potentiality. He interpreted the "degree" which was given to man over woman[1] as an ontological matter, abolishing singular male images of the universe in favour of a binary conjugal conception, where male and female are coupled together in a necessary cosmic unity on the level of both Creation and Gnosis.

Muhyiddin Ibn 'Arabî has presented a new vision of woman in the history of Islamic Culture. It is indeed a vision worthy of inspiring contemporary Muslims, of acting as a foundation for the reassessment of their notions and concepts about women in Islam, and of propelling the wheel of cultural change in the proper path.

-- Ibn Arabi's Two-fold Perception of Woman, Souad Al Hakim

Another example I can think of is actually Singapore's own Jackie Ying (who I hear will no longer head A-star's IBN, why! 😟 ): a super intelligent Muslim-lady-scientist rumoured to do night prayers daily or something. Hahah. I can't even remember which rumour-mill I heard this from.

dang, I need to have more of these ladies in my life.


Obviously, I need to surround myself with the right people.
This is from one of my old friends who I barely get to see anymore
because... I don't know, drifting circles of friends,
and no good circumstance to engineer meet-ups?
Why should these things dictate my friendships.
Ah!!! I am frustrated. 

Anyway -- a positive thing about women she shared recently:

Wednesday, January 31, 2018

Knowing others is wisdom,
Knowing yourself is enlightenment.
-- Lao Tzu


I'd like to think the difficult path I'm walking on right now,
will stand me in stead in the future.
Like I said before, I'm desperate for a level-up.
So much so that I dreamt it, haha. I told E about it,
that I dreamed that I discovered I had an extra set of eyes hidden behind my normal ones.
But I was so freaked out, I shut it back almost immediately.

I don't want to resist or be afraid anymore.
Let me be brave and embrace who I am,
with a new pair of eyes.

Tuesday, January 30, 2018

We are the authors of our lives.
We write our own daring endings.
We craft love from heartbreak,
Compassion from shame,
Grace from disappointment,
Courage from failure.
Showing up is our power.
Story is our way home.
Truth is our song.
We are the brave and broken-hearted.
We are rising strong.

-- Rising Strong, Brene Brown