Friday, January 28, 2011
Monday, January 24, 2011
MDA decided not to let us have our Supernatural Season 5 DVD and will give a refund. And they took like, 3 months to decide this. -___________- What I don't get is the fact that Season 5 is actually airing on cable, on AXN. So, where's the logic, man. Then again, I think they've cut substantial bits off the episodes that they do air i.e. censorship. The reason for all of this, apparently, is religious themes.
Yes, I do recall bits of the early episodes of S5 (from watching online versions) in which it is actually mentioned of the death of god and angels rebelling and Lucifer doing the whole sympathy-with-the-devil thingamajig. But. :( Who in their right minds would use any of this fictional stuff as a basis for real theology??? We know it's fiction, riiiight. Dang, I just want to watch my favourite American show, can or not. The next foreseeable plan is to visit nice corners of City Square in Johor, eheheheh. And failing that, actually visit the US?
Had a relatively busy weekend, filled with reasonably fun times but has now strangely settled as an upset and gloomy feeling somewhere near the bottom of my heart. Part of it is my consternation at being called an idealist, which I know I am, I can't help being so; but that somehow people look at it as being a deluded thing -- it makes me feel meh, for lack of better expression at this hour of the night. Sad, and disappointed, and alone, and worst of all, stupid. I feel like having high ideals is like having a physically marring disease, and people kind of have this general sense of pity for you, but you know, they understand, you poor thing. Have cosmetic surgery, be done with it, and live in the real world.
I don't know. I am kind of comforted a little by the memory of my philosophy professor from Virtue and Leadership module, who defended Confucius because she said, we always need ideals as something to work towards, in order that humanity retains its dignity and keeps striving towards something greater. But I think Confucius felt terrible the whole time. Complaining about never meeting a sage (personally, I keep wishing he'd been alive when Rasulullah s.a.w. came along).
I shall strive to be zen.
Yes, I do recall bits of the early episodes of S5 (from watching online versions) in which it is actually mentioned of the death of god and angels rebelling and Lucifer doing the whole sympathy-with-the-devil thingamajig. But. :( Who in their right minds would use any of this fictional stuff as a basis for real theology??? We know it's fiction, riiiight. Dang, I just want to watch my favourite American show, can or not. The next foreseeable plan is to visit nice corners of City Square in Johor, eheheheh. And failing that, actually visit the US?
Had a relatively busy weekend, filled with reasonably fun times but has now strangely settled as an upset and gloomy feeling somewhere near the bottom of my heart. Part of it is my consternation at being called an idealist, which I know I am, I can't help being so; but that somehow people look at it as being a deluded thing -- it makes me feel meh, for lack of better expression at this hour of the night. Sad, and disappointed, and alone, and worst of all, stupid. I feel like having high ideals is like having a physically marring disease, and people kind of have this general sense of pity for you, but you know, they understand, you poor thing. Have cosmetic surgery, be done with it, and live in the real world.
I don't know. I am kind of comforted a little by the memory of my philosophy professor from Virtue and Leadership module, who defended Confucius because she said, we always need ideals as something to work towards, in order that humanity retains its dignity and keeps striving towards something greater. But I think Confucius felt terrible the whole time. Complaining about never meeting a sage (personally, I keep wishing he'd been alive when Rasulullah s.a.w. came along).
I shall strive to be zen.
Friday, January 21, 2011
I've been having a second round of Shaykh Hamza's Refinement of the Heart, and he quoted Robert Frost:
The Fear of God
If you should rise from Nowhere up to Somewhere,
From being No one up to being Someone,
Be sure to keep repeating to yourself
You owe it to an arbitrary god
Whose mercy to you rather than to others
Won’t bear to critical examination.
Stay unassuming. If for lack of license
To wear the uniform of who you are,
You should be tempted to make up for it
In a subordinating look or toe,
Beware of coming too much to the surface
And using for apparel what was meant
To be the curtain of the inmost soul.
It's a lovely reminder. Often, when we've been privileged with something -- like brains or good looks or having succeeded in a profession or attained a certain coveted status, we tend to self-congratulate, as though such an achievement is a validation of the wonders of our own abilities and inherent genius. We forget that whatever gifts we possess could have easily been bestowed on someone else, and in truth, you had virtually no hand in the fortunate circumstances of your life. This reminds one to be constantly humble and grateful; one's fortunes, and in fact one's entire life, is a gift and loan from a seemingly arbitrary God. The lowest level of gratitude one can demonstrate is not to be haughty about it, I guess.
This also made me recall something from Cassandra Claire's Draco Sinister, heheh. :)
...but think how much worse it would be if life was fair, and all the awful things that happened to us happened because we actually deserve them. I, for one, take great comfort in the completely impersonal hostility of the universe.
Really, it would be horrible if we deserve every little thing that happens to us in this world. It means little African kids deserve to die of AIDS, for instance. I think complete justice comes later, eh; not in this world.
And I shall add a little extra here of Draco's angsty, amusing rant:
"Why should you get a choice?" he almost shouted. "I don't! I don't get a choice about my family or my life or my destiny, if I've even really got one. And I don't get a choice about loving you, even though I personally think you were put here on this earth to give me pain. I mean, I know I'm not a nice person, but what the fuck did I do in my past life to deserve this? I must have run down a cartload of nuns while driving a stolen carriage on my way to sell drugs to school children."
The Fear of God
If you should rise from Nowhere up to Somewhere,
From being No one up to being Someone,
Be sure to keep repeating to yourself
You owe it to an arbitrary god
Whose mercy to you rather than to others
Won’t bear to critical examination.
Stay unassuming. If for lack of license
To wear the uniform of who you are,
You should be tempted to make up for it
In a subordinating look or toe,
Beware of coming too much to the surface
And using for apparel what was meant
To be the curtain of the inmost soul.
It's a lovely reminder. Often, when we've been privileged with something -- like brains or good looks or having succeeded in a profession or attained a certain coveted status, we tend to self-congratulate, as though such an achievement is a validation of the wonders of our own abilities and inherent genius. We forget that whatever gifts we possess could have easily been bestowed on someone else, and in truth, you had virtually no hand in the fortunate circumstances of your life. This reminds one to be constantly humble and grateful; one's fortunes, and in fact one's entire life, is a gift and loan from a seemingly arbitrary God. The lowest level of gratitude one can demonstrate is not to be haughty about it, I guess.
This also made me recall something from Cassandra Claire's Draco Sinister, heheh. :)
...but think how much worse it would be if life was fair, and all the awful things that happened to us happened because we actually deserve them. I, for one, take great comfort in the completely impersonal hostility of the universe.
Really, it would be horrible if we deserve every little thing that happens to us in this world. It means little African kids deserve to die of AIDS, for instance. I think complete justice comes later, eh; not in this world.
And I shall add a little extra here of Draco's angsty, amusing rant:
"Why should you get a choice?" he almost shouted. "I don't! I don't get a choice about my family or my life or my destiny, if I've even really got one. And I don't get a choice about loving you, even though I personally think you were put here on this earth to give me pain. I mean, I know I'm not a nice person, but what the fuck did I do in my past life to deserve this? I must have run down a cartload of nuns while driving a stolen carriage on my way to sell drugs to school children."
Sunday, January 16, 2011
At this rate, this blog may be set for a steady decline into non-functionality.
No, I'm not that busy with schoolwork yet, but somehow, I'm preoccupied enough that those blogging moments during which I become pensive and thoughtful are getting harder to find. Don't know -- it's not like my undergraduate years were totally light on me in comparison (quite the contrary); I think maybe I'm just getting older and less loquacious here.
* Met up with Duckie last weekend despite only recovering from sore throat and the flu and went to karaoke Arashi -- I croaked, Duck actually sang. Also, I got a bag full of unwanted goodies (i.e. junk food dumped on me!) plus Jdrama and Arashi vids so graciously written on cd for me.
* I started watching Nino's drama, Freeter, Ie wo Kau! -- which is awesome, seriously. It's about the struggles of a university graduate in the working world, and therefore very relatable. I keep thinking how the only dramas that leave a lasting positive impression on me anymore are Japanese dramas -- because they feel more real and less of a fantastical, fictional nature, and seem to address pertinent moral issues. At the end of 10 episodes, I normally feel all motivated and moved and eager to embrace life.
* Recently had a mini gathering of girls to say farewell to Farhana who's gone to study in Syria -- I feel like the people I know are going all over the place to chase their dreams; that or they're getting married :s. Anyway, we all had a nice chat about why Syria and what to do in the future with regards to children's education, haha. This reminds me of another mini halaqah we had long ago after APEX: we were talking about how wonderful mothers are and raising children, and Shidah, I think, was like Why are we talking like we're all pregnant or stg! XD
Also, Shaykh Hamza quotes kept cropping up in the discussion thanks to the fangirls present.
Shaykh Hamza did say that celebrating maulud is bid'ah, you know.
Yes, because we should actually be celebrating it every day, right. :)
I also think Mother's Day is bid'ah!
Haha! Because we should be thankful for our mothers every day too, huh.
* Recently reread this article about Friendship in the Facebook Age.
I saw that a few dozen people “Liked” the announcement and I clicked the thumbs-up icon, but immediately I felt a little ill, like I’d just cheapened the memory of our friendship somehow. I thought about adding a small note—”Congratulations” or “So excited to hear the news!!”—but that seemed off, too.
I totally experienced this recently. Facebook really creates unprecedented social situations most of us have no idea how to deal with. Recently, I saw on fb that someone who I'd worked with and befriended in the summer of 2008, got married; and I wanted to congratulate her but just doing it on fb -- it feels wrong in some way, you know? So I didn't. But then, I was so glad when I received an invitation to the walimah (i.e. wedding dinner) from a friend of that friend -- and I'm thinking how I can congratulate her in person, and shake her hand or stg, and make her see how truly happy I am for her. It's a relief to be able to do that.
I think this is related to the reasons I don't put up my birthday on facebook. There are just so many implications and complications to facebook interactions and it's not like I don't appreciate it when someone wishes me a happy birthday; the problem lies in the fact that I cannot possibly understand why you did. I don't know whether to think you want to be my friend, or rather more of a friend; or whether you're acknowledging my existence or whether there is an ulterior motive or on which rung of friendship you belong. It's complicating the social situation. I would rather simply be wished by people who I know are truly my friends, facebook or not. Similarly, when I wish someone, I want to really mean it. Ideally, people should only do what they mean, ne.
I think a lot of the times, people don't think about why they do things, and it bothers me. And it especially bothers me when I don't understand why I'm doing something. Which is why, I suppose, more often than not, I am a passive person and mull over things in order to understand. But maybe, you know, I have to accept that not everything can be understood, hm.
No, I'm not that busy with schoolwork yet, but somehow, I'm preoccupied enough that those blogging moments during which I become pensive and thoughtful are getting harder to find. Don't know -- it's not like my undergraduate years were totally light on me in comparison (quite the contrary); I think maybe I'm just getting older and less loquacious here.
* Met up with Duckie last weekend despite only recovering from sore throat and the flu and went to karaoke Arashi -- I croaked, Duck actually sang. Also, I got a bag full of unwanted goodies (i.e. junk food dumped on me!) plus Jdrama and Arashi vids so graciously written on cd for me.
* I started watching Nino's drama, Freeter, Ie wo Kau! -- which is awesome, seriously. It's about the struggles of a university graduate in the working world, and therefore very relatable. I keep thinking how the only dramas that leave a lasting positive impression on me anymore are Japanese dramas -- because they feel more real and less of a fantastical, fictional nature, and seem to address pertinent moral issues. At the end of 10 episodes, I normally feel all motivated and moved and eager to embrace life.
* Recently had a mini gathering of girls to say farewell to Farhana who's gone to study in Syria -- I feel like the people I know are going all over the place to chase their dreams; that or they're getting married :s. Anyway, we all had a nice chat about why Syria and what to do in the future with regards to children's education, haha. This reminds me of another mini halaqah we had long ago after APEX: we were talking about how wonderful mothers are and raising children, and Shidah, I think, was like Why are we talking like we're all pregnant or stg! XD
Also, Shaykh Hamza quotes kept cropping up in the discussion thanks to the fangirls present.
Shaykh Hamza did say that celebrating maulud is bid'ah, you know.
Yes, because we should actually be celebrating it every day, right. :)
I also think Mother's Day is bid'ah!
Haha! Because we should be thankful for our mothers every day too, huh.
* Recently reread this article about Friendship in the Facebook Age.
I saw that a few dozen people “Liked” the announcement and I clicked the thumbs-up icon, but immediately I felt a little ill, like I’d just cheapened the memory of our friendship somehow. I thought about adding a small note—”Congratulations” or “So excited to hear the news!!”—but that seemed off, too.
I totally experienced this recently. Facebook really creates unprecedented social situations most of us have no idea how to deal with. Recently, I saw on fb that someone who I'd worked with and befriended in the summer of 2008, got married; and I wanted to congratulate her but just doing it on fb -- it feels wrong in some way, you know? So I didn't. But then, I was so glad when I received an invitation to the walimah (i.e. wedding dinner) from a friend of that friend -- and I'm thinking how I can congratulate her in person, and shake her hand or stg, and make her see how truly happy I am for her. It's a relief to be able to do that.
I think this is related to the reasons I don't put up my birthday on facebook. There are just so many implications and complications to facebook interactions and it's not like I don't appreciate it when someone wishes me a happy birthday; the problem lies in the fact that I cannot possibly understand why you did. I don't know whether to think you want to be my friend, or rather more of a friend; or whether you're acknowledging my existence or whether there is an ulterior motive or on which rung of friendship you belong. It's complicating the social situation. I would rather simply be wished by people who I know are truly my friends, facebook or not. Similarly, when I wish someone, I want to really mean it. Ideally, people should only do what they mean, ne.
I think a lot of the times, people don't think about why they do things, and it bothers me. And it especially bothers me when I don't understand why I'm doing something. Which is why, I suppose, more often than not, I am a passive person and mull over things in order to understand. But maybe, you know, I have to accept that not everything can be understood, hm.
Thursday, January 06, 2011
first post of the year! hello, 2011.
Classes have already started, and it's scary and exciting and nerve-wrecking and also fun, all in one. I'm loving the people in general, and the teachers too. But then caught the flu bug and was too sick to go anywhere today; missed important lectures, and missed meeting Sowmya. :( I am terrified of screwing this up. No, no, shall not let that happen.
As promised, Why are we happy? -- An interesting perspective on why we can be happy no matter what.
Classes have already started, and it's scary and exciting and nerve-wrecking and also fun, all in one. I'm loving the people in general, and the teachers too. But then caught the flu bug and was too sick to go anywhere today; missed important lectures, and missed meeting Sowmya. :( I am terrified of screwing this up. No, no, shall not let that happen.
As promised, Why are we happy? -- An interesting perspective on why we can be happy no matter what.