If you've talked to me at all recently, you'll know how nuts my schedule is these last two weeks of semester. Multiple projects (a total of 5 term projects + 2 assignments) due on the same days, and multiple presentations. :S Needless to say, all of it is nerve-wrecking. But I wonder if it is my new-found adult confidence that keeps me from falling to pieces. I am constantly surprised by my lack of hyperventilation.
Don't get me wrong. There are moments of pure panic. (Haha.) Like yesterday, when I met Eunice, and started prattling to her about the things I have yet to get done -- I was quickly morphing into this @.@ and my breath kept getting stuck somewhere. And then later in the night after class, when I talked to Raphael (super-student who does one million tasks simultaneously), I felt like hyperventilating again when he asked if the state of all my projects was as bad as Human Relations that we had together.
Yes? Most of them are in a rather shabby, uncompiled, all-over-the-place mess.
But you know, when I'm alone and thinking, I actually feel okay. Maybe I'm deluded. :P Maybe it's my brain's way of self-defence, to keep me deluded about the hot boiling soup I'm in. Or maybe I have truly grown up and being depressed about stupid homework and assignments and projects is just too childish for me now. Didn't Lymond say something like, only immaturity boggles at the sad face of failure?
Or maybe you know. I've gained an unshakeable perspective on things. Because, crap, in the bigger scheme of things; in the truly, truly, truly bigger and universal scheme of things -- all I'm going through in NUS and the rat-race world in general are but peanuts. Peanuts, okay. Sure, I love learning about biology and how mathematics figures into the study of DNA and proteins (math is my favourite module currently, and amazingly so) but at the end of the day, if you ask me, the knowledge I truly treasure isn't this. My life has completely and wonderfully shifted its center and focus. The priceless knowledge about Allah and Rasul, I think, is the one I treat as truly miraculous and has kept me steadfast, somehow, and if everything else should crumble to the depths of the Earth, I will still feel okay. (:
That being said, I still can't abandon ship. All this does matter in its own way. And so, ganbarimasu! X) These two weeks will be fine.
I have bioinformatics meeting later today and I realise that yay, I have the car! Well, more like my brother has the car, so he can drive me. And I'll stop by the Central Library to watch a documentary for my human relations project.
Moving on to fandom for a bit: I am starting to really, really like Arashi's Believe. I didn't think I would! But I've had the song on repeat for a while now and there's something about it that keeps me wanting more. Sho and Aiba look good in the PV; Jun's hair is just ughhhh( and why is he wearing that bow?!); Nino looks like he's aged somehow; but Ohno is the same as ever.
Did I say Sho looked good in the video? He really does. I'm starting to love Sho a lot lately. I think I like guys in formal shirt-wear. :P
I've also listened to NEWS' new single called Koi no ABO and SIGH. -__- So far, I'm disappointed. It sounds more like a KATTUN song; it isn't catchy and just noisy. I'm hoping I'll change my mind about it over time, maybe when the PV comes out. For me, it's been downhill since NEWS released Summertime last year. Can we have nice songs, please!!! This is only feeding my theory that NEWS is the most neglected JE group. What with Pi complaining in his jweb about how he feels useless.
Okay, am back to work. :S The upside of all this is that it'll zoom by really fast and the next thing I know, it'll be the summer break and YAY THE SPRING DRAMAS. :D
No comments:
Post a Comment