Desensitizing self.
Did badly for chem. Very badly. Have yet to know of the rest, but am preparing for the worst. You know how when you don't expect anything, you get hurt less? I learnt that a long time ago.
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Sunday, March 27, 2005
Went to watch The Eye 10. It was more hilarious than scary. Me and sis were completely cracked up at some parts. So utterly ridiculous. Some break-dancing, breathing, farting, and ball-bouncing. It's funny - I enjoyed it because it was such a laugh.
I don't think I can see an idle ball lying around on the ground anymore, without both getting goose bumps and a fit of giggles.
I don't think I can see an idle ball lying around on the ground anymore, without both getting goose bumps and a fit of giggles.
Saturday, March 26, 2005
I no longer feel like I'm stuck in a rut. I'm just, just, out of it, standing at the edge. But... this new position that I'm in isn't much better. I feel like I can get somewhere, but there's too many obstacles and scary things and I'm afraid. I feel like I can move forward and I want to, but am going too slow! And am half thinking that the rut down there, seems better than this.
I really have a terribly overactive imagination.
Have mentoring later, and am going out for lunch first with granny and sis. Feel somehow energyless today. Sigh. Keep thinking about how the coming week will be here soon enough, and all the crap will pile up and start again. It just goes on and on and on. And am getting scared because I keep thinking how they'll give out common test results soon and then I'll have to face my horrifying grades. Why do I have to live like this.
Borrowed a book called "The Sense of Being Stared At And Other Aspects of the Extended Mind." I just keep flipping here and there because reading it diligently from beginning to end is boring. So far, studies have shown that 55% of the time, people know when they're being stared at. That's not much at all when you take it isolatedly. If it was a matter of chance, 50% of the time, we'd guess that someone was staring at us. But what makes it mind boggling is... It turns up as 55% for separate experiments everywhere. If the same experiment turns up the same result repeatedly, it has significance. Hm.
Then there's some talk about envy and how many cultures of the world have their own word to mean the "evil eye".
Sir Francis Bacon says in his essay "On Envy" published in 1625:
There be none of those affections which have been noticed to fascinate or bewitch, but love and envy; they both have vehement wishes, they frame themselves readily into imaginations and suggestions, and they come easily into the eye, especially upon the presence of the objects which are the points that conduce to fascination, if any such there be. We see likewise that Scripture calleth envy an evil eye... There seemeth to be acknowledged, in the act of envy, an ejaculation, or irradiation of the eye. Nay some have been so curious as to note, that the times when the stroke, or percussion, of an envious eye doth most hurt, are, when the party envied is beheld in glory; for that sets an edge upon envy. ~ Pg 185
Pg 192, Rupert Sheldrake, the author, (Ph.D in BioChemistry from Cambridge, studied natural sciences in Cambridge and philosophy in Harvard and a Research Fellow of the Royal Society) says:
Although many people equate science with the rationalist ideology, others, including myself, do not. Science is not a dogmatic belief system or an ideology; it is a method of inquiry. In this spirit of inquiry, we can investigate whether phenomena like the sense of being stared at actually exist... But such an investigation is inherently controversial. The sense of being stared at was long ago classified as a superstition, and surrounded by an intellectual taboo, a boundary that should not be crossed. No educated person wants to be thought superstitious, precisely because this undermines his or her claim to be educated. To go against this taboo is a serious loss of intellectual standing, a relegation to the ranks of the uneducated, the childish, and the superstitious.
True, isn't it?
I really have a terribly overactive imagination.
Have mentoring later, and am going out for lunch first with granny and sis. Feel somehow energyless today. Sigh. Keep thinking about how the coming week will be here soon enough, and all the crap will pile up and start again. It just goes on and on and on. And am getting scared because I keep thinking how they'll give out common test results soon and then I'll have to face my horrifying grades. Why do I have to live like this.
Borrowed a book called "The Sense of Being Stared At And Other Aspects of the Extended Mind." I just keep flipping here and there because reading it diligently from beginning to end is boring. So far, studies have shown that 55% of the time, people know when they're being stared at. That's not much at all when you take it isolatedly. If it was a matter of chance, 50% of the time, we'd guess that someone was staring at us. But what makes it mind boggling is... It turns up as 55% for separate experiments everywhere. If the same experiment turns up the same result repeatedly, it has significance. Hm.
Then there's some talk about envy and how many cultures of the world have their own word to mean the "evil eye".
Sir Francis Bacon says in his essay "On Envy" published in 1625:
There be none of those affections which have been noticed to fascinate or bewitch, but love and envy; they both have vehement wishes, they frame themselves readily into imaginations and suggestions, and they come easily into the eye, especially upon the presence of the objects which are the points that conduce to fascination, if any such there be. We see likewise that Scripture calleth envy an evil eye... There seemeth to be acknowledged, in the act of envy, an ejaculation, or irradiation of the eye. Nay some have been so curious as to note, that the times when the stroke, or percussion, of an envious eye doth most hurt, are, when the party envied is beheld in glory; for that sets an edge upon envy. ~ Pg 185
Pg 192, Rupert Sheldrake, the author, (Ph.D in BioChemistry from Cambridge, studied natural sciences in Cambridge and philosophy in Harvard and a Research Fellow of the Royal Society) says:
Although many people equate science with the rationalist ideology, others, including myself, do not. Science is not a dogmatic belief system or an ideology; it is a method of inquiry. In this spirit of inquiry, we can investigate whether phenomena like the sense of being stared at actually exist... But such an investigation is inherently controversial. The sense of being stared at was long ago classified as a superstition, and surrounded by an intellectual taboo, a boundary that should not be crossed. No educated person wants to be thought superstitious, precisely because this undermines his or her claim to be educated. To go against this taboo is a serious loss of intellectual standing, a relegation to the ranks of the uneducated, the childish, and the superstitious.
True, isn't it?
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Physics over. Was scribbling like mad. Everywhere. What's new, eh? Was freezing in the hall by the way. The aircon is nuts.
Went to the zoo and took a couple of pictures. And ate Ben and Jerry's! Had the dublin mudslide. Delicious.
Parents off to Kelantan now. So it's the three of us siblings at home and granny. Feel like I can do anything tomorrow. Maybe a movie with kuzzins. Yay.
Went to the zoo and took a couple of pictures. And ate Ben and Jerry's! Had the dublin mudslide. Delicious.
Parents off to Kelantan now. So it's the three of us siblings at home and granny. Feel like I can do anything tomorrow. Maybe a movie with kuzzins. Yay.
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Bio.
Bloody hell. It was a lethal gene. Why couldn't I see it!!! Other than that... I completed the paper as best as I could. Some crappy answers and a terribly short essay. So hoping it wouldnt be too bad. But the MCQ was terrible. Oh well.
After tomorrow, learning journey to the zoo! Haha. That should be quite fun. I hope. Despite it definitely being scorching hot.
Bloody hell. It was a lethal gene. Why couldn't I see it!!! Other than that... I completed the paper as best as I could. Some crappy answers and a terribly short essay. So hoping it wouldnt be too bad. But the MCQ was terrible. Oh well.
After tomorrow, learning journey to the zoo! Haha. That should be quite fun. I hope. Despite it definitely being scorching hot.
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
Had math. Was only ever so slightly better than chem. Still have transport in mammals and transport in plants to complete for bio tomorrow.
Look at what I found when I was searching for psych-related jobs on the net. A study on how rewards are often not a motivator for a task.
In the laboratory, rats get Rice Krispies. In the classroom the top students get A's, and in the factory or office the best workers get raises. It's an article of faith for most of us that rewards promote better performance.
But a growing body of research suggests that this law is not nearly as ironclad as was once thought. Psychologists have been finding that rewards can lower performance levels, especially when the performance involves creativity.
A related series of studies shows that intrinsic interest in a task - the sense that something is worth doing for its own sake - typically declines when someone is rewarded for doing it. If a reward - money, awards, praise, or winning a contest - comes to be seen as the reason one is engaging in an activity, that activity will be viewed as less enjoyable in its own right.
Turk! This is probably why you find you can't seem to write or you seem to lack inspiration nowadays! Because you're not writing for the sake of writing, you're writing for school. That's also probably why you find writing our stories the easiest. Because we decided to start the story on our own; voluntarily. You're not forced. And writing is definitely a form of creativity.
In a 1982 study, Stanford psychologist Mark L. Lepper showed that any task, no matter how enjoyable it once seemed, would be devalued if it were presented as a means rather than an end. He told a group of preschoolers they could not engage in one activity they liked until they first took part in another. Although they had enjoyed both activities equally, the children came to dislike the task that was a prerequisite for the other.
Which is why telling your child, "If you get A for math, I'll buy you a bike" is not such a good idea. I think if we want our children to get As, tell them the As are not that important, but that they should enjoy learning for what it is. And the As will come naturally, as an unnecessary bonus.
Oh my god. This gives psychological evidence to the well-loved phrase: I was born intelligent. Education ruined me.
Artists must make a living, of course, but Amabile emphasizes that "the negative impact on creativity of working for rewards can be minimized'' by playing down the significance of these rewards and trying not to use them in a controlling way. Creative work, the research suggests, cannot be forced, but only allowed to happen.
Hope that helps a bit.
Now I can see why people start to hate their jobs over time. They no longer work for the joy of it, but work for money. The work becomes a means to an end... and it becomes hated. And performance level drops.
WHICH IS WHY... If I do like psychology, I should do it! Right? Then I'd be learning psychology cause I want to and I won't be doing some popular uni course just for the sake that I get a degree and get a secure job. That's not enough motivation and will increase the likelihood of my not doing well academically.
That study also explains why privately-tutored kids are such geniuses! They're not ruined by the whole grading system.
But now... Regardless of this bit of fascinating revelation of the human mind (Oh, I do think psych's for me!) I have to get off the net, go mug Bio, so I can get good grades. Hah.
Look at what I found when I was searching for psych-related jobs on the net. A study on how rewards are often not a motivator for a task.
In the laboratory, rats get Rice Krispies. In the classroom the top students get A's, and in the factory or office the best workers get raises. It's an article of faith for most of us that rewards promote better performance.
But a growing body of research suggests that this law is not nearly as ironclad as was once thought. Psychologists have been finding that rewards can lower performance levels, especially when the performance involves creativity.
A related series of studies shows that intrinsic interest in a task - the sense that something is worth doing for its own sake - typically declines when someone is rewarded for doing it. If a reward - money, awards, praise, or winning a contest - comes to be seen as the reason one is engaging in an activity, that activity will be viewed as less enjoyable in its own right.
Turk! This is probably why you find you can't seem to write or you seem to lack inspiration nowadays! Because you're not writing for the sake of writing, you're writing for school. That's also probably why you find writing our stories the easiest. Because we decided to start the story on our own; voluntarily. You're not forced. And writing is definitely a form of creativity.
In a 1982 study, Stanford psychologist Mark L. Lepper showed that any task, no matter how enjoyable it once seemed, would be devalued if it were presented as a means rather than an end. He told a group of preschoolers they could not engage in one activity they liked until they first took part in another. Although they had enjoyed both activities equally, the children came to dislike the task that was a prerequisite for the other.
Which is why telling your child, "If you get A for math, I'll buy you a bike" is not such a good idea. I think if we want our children to get As, tell them the As are not that important, but that they should enjoy learning for what it is. And the As will come naturally, as an unnecessary bonus.
Oh my god. This gives psychological evidence to the well-loved phrase: I was born intelligent. Education ruined me.
Artists must make a living, of course, but Amabile emphasizes that "the negative impact on creativity of working for rewards can be minimized'' by playing down the significance of these rewards and trying not to use them in a controlling way. Creative work, the research suggests, cannot be forced, but only allowed to happen.
Hope that helps a bit.
Now I can see why people start to hate their jobs over time. They no longer work for the joy of it, but work for money. The work becomes a means to an end... and it becomes hated. And performance level drops.
WHICH IS WHY... If I do like psychology, I should do it! Right? Then I'd be learning psychology cause I want to and I won't be doing some popular uni course just for the sake that I get a degree and get a secure job. That's not enough motivation and will increase the likelihood of my not doing well academically.
That study also explains why privately-tutored kids are such geniuses! They're not ruined by the whole grading system.
But now... Regardless of this bit of fascinating revelation of the human mind (Oh, I do think psych's for me!) I have to get off the net, go mug Bio, so I can get good grades. Hah.
Monday, March 21, 2005
The beginning of one of those nightmare weeks. A week of just counting down to that last exam day. Disgusting. It feels surreal sometimes... like I'm hanging onto a thread, because any wrong move on my part (like ultimately slacking completely) might just snap that thread. And there I go... falling into a pit of failure, and me possibly falling off the edge of sanity.
I went through all my organic chem notes again this morning... And still, the facts seem to slip away. Stay in my brain, damn it!!! And my phy and bio is... unfinished. And my math is largely unpractised.
I hate the way I let myself be controlled by these fears. My life should revolve around more than this.
Meeting Nikki at Bishan MRT at 1.30pm.
Terror is gripping me. I feel like if I don't stay calm, I'll explode into little bits. I hope I don't hyperventilate during the paper. That would be highly amusing if it happened. It'd be all over the news. "Exam paper causes student to hyperventilate". And there'd be all the slamming of the MOE and school stress etc.
Ah sigh.
Shall go now.
I went through all my organic chem notes again this morning... And still, the facts seem to slip away. Stay in my brain, damn it!!! And my phy and bio is... unfinished. And my math is largely unpractised.
I hate the way I let myself be controlled by these fears. My life should revolve around more than this.
Meeting Nikki at Bishan MRT at 1.30pm.
Terror is gripping me. I feel like if I don't stay calm, I'll explode into little bits. I hope I don't hyperventilate during the paper. That would be highly amusing if it happened. It'd be all over the news. "Exam paper causes student to hyperventilate". And there'd be all the slamming of the MOE and school stress etc.
Ah sigh.
Shall go now.
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
Yesterday, like I said, I was going to go out with my sis to meet granny and eat lunch, and then to the library. So I did. Ate lunch at Ya Sallam (which was previously known as Riduan, Malik whatever...) and met two different people we knew. (As soon as a restaurant advertises on Suria, the Malay community flocks to it, I swear.) After that, went to the pawnbroker's and then to the library. Said I would study but... Bah. You know me. INFP - I Never Follow Plans. I didn't even bring along any notes. My sis said she didn't want to stay long and I figured I'd be distracted by the books anyway. Flipped through a couple of books, about Kings and Queens of Scotland, a Britain Travel Guide (I'm still hoping for that after As trip...), a Know-Your-Personality-From-What-You-Eat book and a book about aristocrats from a family of Lennoxes. Apparently, there's an english television series on the Lennox family (the descendants of Matthew and Margaret Lennox). It's quite complicated and intriguing. Wish Singapore would go out of the way a little and buy shows that aren't that heavily publicised and not American.
Anyway, ended up borrowing another book (when I already have numerous unread novels at home) by Philippa Gregory called The Little House. It's not historical fiction. I always assumed earlier that she was strictly an author of that genre. But that book was a psychological thriller. Something that echoes the plot of the movie 'Hush' that starred Jessica Lange and Gwyneth Paltrow. I finished it already. Was completely absorbed. It was about this ongoing unspoken tension between a mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law. It's scary when you think about how fine the line between sanity and madness truly is. What makes a person crazy, you think? Hm.
I realise I like Philippa Gregory. I don't know if this sounds weird, but I think I can tell if an author is someone I would have easily befriended if I knew her personally. You can tell a lot from how a person writes, I think, and you can sort of imagine the person's character. I think I could have warmed up to Dunnett or Gregory easily... but not so to Rowling. I must sound mad. Maybe it's my overactive imagination as usual.
Anyway, ended up borrowing another book (when I already have numerous unread novels at home) by Philippa Gregory called The Little House. It's not historical fiction. I always assumed earlier that she was strictly an author of that genre. But that book was a psychological thriller. Something that echoes the plot of the movie 'Hush' that starred Jessica Lange and Gwyneth Paltrow. I finished it already. Was completely absorbed. It was about this ongoing unspoken tension between a mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law. It's scary when you think about how fine the line between sanity and madness truly is. What makes a person crazy, you think? Hm.
I realise I like Philippa Gregory. I don't know if this sounds weird, but I think I can tell if an author is someone I would have easily befriended if I knew her personally. You can tell a lot from how a person writes, I think, and you can sort of imagine the person's character. I think I could have warmed up to Dunnett or Gregory easily... but not so to Rowling. I must sound mad. Maybe it's my overactive imagination as usual.
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
Decisions. We make them everyday. Most trivial things that we decide on are inconsequential (when we go to sleep, to the loo, which book to read, which foot to put forward first etc), but there are those things which truly matter. Sometimes, we're aware of decision-making moments and we put a lot of effort into making the absolutely, perfect right choice (or so we think) and sometimes we're clueless about our life-changing actions until we find the time to pause and reflect. The latter allows for some quiet amusing reflection - like how you make friends for instance. A single 'Hi' could make a life-long friend or a bad first encounter could create lasting enmity.
What's really horrible is the process of making a decision that you know would affect the rest of your life. I've lived for less than two decades and there hasn't been much opportunity for me to make huge choices. I just went with the whole Singapore flow/rat race/train/whateveryouwanttocallit. Study hard from the moment I was thrust into preschool and work for those As, without question. I remember praying so hard in Primary 3, 4, 5 and 6 to be the top in class. My life revolved around attaining the first position (at a certain point, I began to think that each good/bad incident was an omen/indication to my academic results), because I knew it made my parents happy.
Then, when I grew older, I realised that I wanted more than making my parents happy. Yeah, okay, I continued studying... but I think I started to lose focus. Why am I studying like mad? Why should I?
Okay let's see, perhaps most people would think like this? Study hard, get good grades, get good jobs, make good money, get married, have kids, and make the kids study hard so that they'll grow up to make good money as well, and the kids will go on to have their own kids. What is this. A neverending human cycle of stress just to make good money.
Okay fine, I have to be realistic. What was I thinking? Of course people work to make money. Du-uh! Then they can live.
But money does not motivate me.
I wish it were possible to travel all over the world. Surely I can survive. Stop by places, earn a little bit here and there, meet people and eat their food (haha) and then go on travelling. You hear of explorers doing that in the past. They were so lucky. Now, you try to do that... Too many obstacles (immigration and police) and people would think you're a psycho. And besides, there seems to be no place left to explore.
Oh crap it all, why am I rambling.
What am I going to do after my As? That's my big question. It's not that far away. Not far away at all.
What to do.
The things I want don't seem too good for me, so people say.
"... of all the awful things that make you sick to your stomach, nothing feels half as bad as knowing you had a chance to do what you truly love, and you didn't take it." ~ The Meaning of Life, Bradley Trevor Grieve
The what ifs. They haunt the rest of your life, don't they?
What's really horrible is the process of making a decision that you know would affect the rest of your life. I've lived for less than two decades and there hasn't been much opportunity for me to make huge choices. I just went with the whole Singapore flow/rat race/train/whateveryouwanttocallit. Study hard from the moment I was thrust into preschool and work for those As, without question. I remember praying so hard in Primary 3, 4, 5 and 6 to be the top in class. My life revolved around attaining the first position (at a certain point, I began to think that each good/bad incident was an omen/indication to my academic results), because I knew it made my parents happy.
Then, when I grew older, I realised that I wanted more than making my parents happy. Yeah, okay, I continued studying... but I think I started to lose focus. Why am I studying like mad? Why should I?
Okay let's see, perhaps most people would think like this? Study hard, get good grades, get good jobs, make good money, get married, have kids, and make the kids study hard so that they'll grow up to make good money as well, and the kids will go on to have their own kids. What is this. A neverending human cycle of stress just to make good money.
Okay fine, I have to be realistic. What was I thinking? Of course people work to make money. Du-uh! Then they can live.
But money does not motivate me.
I wish it were possible to travel all over the world. Surely I can survive. Stop by places, earn a little bit here and there, meet people and eat their food (haha) and then go on travelling. You hear of explorers doing that in the past. They were so lucky. Now, you try to do that... Too many obstacles (immigration and police) and people would think you're a psycho. And besides, there seems to be no place left to explore.
Oh crap it all, why am I rambling.
What am I going to do after my As? That's my big question. It's not that far away. Not far away at all.
What to do.
The things I want don't seem too good for me, so people say.
"... of all the awful things that make you sick to your stomach, nothing feels half as bad as knowing you had a chance to do what you truly love, and you didn't take it." ~ The Meaning of Life, Bradley Trevor Grieve
The what ifs. They haunt the rest of your life, don't they?
2nd day of March hols.
Went for cip stuff yesterday. Was gamemaster for this amazing race thing held by Northwest CDC. It was so bluidy hot. But was quite fun overall.
Realised I ate at macs three times in the past four days. Without intention, mind you! The first time it was with nikki at junction 8. That was fine. I thought that was going to be it for at least a week. Then the next day, after watching ACJC's Madama Butterfly (which was executed superbly in my opinion), me, sis, hussein and said (cousins) waited for my bro to be done with helping and we all ate at tampines mall's macs at around midnight. It was the only eating joint open at that time. Then yesterday during the amazing race, they provided food for us during lunch. It was McDonalds'. -_- Macs is just everywhere in our lives. It's unavoidable.
Later, will be going out for lunch with granny and sis. And then we'll go bedok library. Will study there. I WILL.
Where to get my psych degree (if that's what I really want. I think it is.):
1. NUS (BA) I think I prefer BSc!!! Cause of science background and all... And the fact that I find bio intriguing.
2. University of Cardiff (Psych Dept awarded excellence in teaching. Offers both BA/Bsc, Msc in Educational/Occupational Psych, PhD/MPhil!!!) - LEADING PSYCH DEPT IN UK
3. University of London (Royal Holloway) - Excellence in Teaching, Offers BSc and postgraduate course in Clinical Psych (D. Clin. Psy.)
4. University of Hull - Has seemingly the best offers, even scholarships for international students. And is actively promoting BSc in psychology. Awarded 23/24 pts in teaching quality. Options 2, 3 and 6 scored a full 24. (D. Clin. Psy., Msc Counselling, Msc Occupational Pysch)
5. University of Edinburgh (BA/BSc) Perk: It's Scotland!!! Bah. Reputation?
6. Univerity of Wales, Bangor - 2nd to Cardiff; BA/BSc Psych/Applied Psych, Postgraduate courses: MSc Clinical Neuropsychology, MSc Applied Behaviour Analysis, MSc Psych Research, D. Clin. Psy., PhD!!!
Went for cip stuff yesterday. Was gamemaster for this amazing race thing held by Northwest CDC. It was so bluidy hot. But was quite fun overall.
Realised I ate at macs three times in the past four days. Without intention, mind you! The first time it was with nikki at junction 8. That was fine. I thought that was going to be it for at least a week. Then the next day, after watching ACJC's Madama Butterfly (which was executed superbly in my opinion), me, sis, hussein and said (cousins) waited for my bro to be done with helping and we all ate at tampines mall's macs at around midnight. It was the only eating joint open at that time. Then yesterday during the amazing race, they provided food for us during lunch. It was McDonalds'. -_- Macs is just everywhere in our lives. It's unavoidable.
Later, will be going out for lunch with granny and sis. And then we'll go bedok library. Will study there. I WILL.
Where to get my psych degree (if that's what I really want. I think it is.):
1. NUS (BA) I think I prefer BSc!!! Cause of science background and all... And the fact that I find bio intriguing.
2. University of Cardiff (Psych Dept awarded excellence in teaching. Offers both BA/Bsc, Msc in Educational/Occupational Psych, PhD/MPhil!!!) - LEADING PSYCH DEPT IN UK
3. University of London (Royal Holloway) - Excellence in Teaching, Offers BSc and postgraduate course in Clinical Psych (D. Clin. Psy.)
4. University of Hull - Has seemingly the best offers, even scholarships for international students. And is actively promoting BSc in psychology. Awarded 23/24 pts in teaching quality. Options 2, 3 and 6 scored a full 24. (D. Clin. Psy., Msc Counselling, Msc Occupational Pysch)
5. University of Edinburgh (BA/BSc) Perk: It's Scotland!!! Bah. Reputation?
6. Univerity of Wales, Bangor - 2nd to Cardiff; BA/BSc Psych/Applied Psych, Postgraduate courses: MSc Clinical Neuropsychology, MSc Applied Behaviour Analysis, MSc Psych Research, D. Clin. Psy., PhD!!!
Sunday, March 13, 2005
Am going nuts thinking about what to do for university. Medicine, life science, biology or, best of all, psychology. I really want psychology! And I want to study overseas...
Argh.
So many obstacles in life!
It's so important that you just do your own thing - whatever makes you truly happy - and do it as best you can. It doesn't matter whether your 'thing' is making snowballs, holding your breath underwater, hog calling, or wielding a hair dryer with dramatic effect. The only thing that matters is that you feel great about what you're doing. Keep in mind that whatever you do, mistakes are part of life. So don't waste time kicking yourself about the past. Don't stall or stress over whether you're doing the right thing. You'll always know the answer in your heart.
Rather than be discouraged, always remember that rejection and resistance are almost guaranteed when you are doing something very important and very special.
~ The Meaning of Life, Bradley Trevor Grieve
Argh.
So many obstacles in life!
It's so important that you just do your own thing - whatever makes you truly happy - and do it as best you can. It doesn't matter whether your 'thing' is making snowballs, holding your breath underwater, hog calling, or wielding a hair dryer with dramatic effect. The only thing that matters is that you feel great about what you're doing. Keep in mind that whatever you do, mistakes are part of life. So don't waste time kicking yourself about the past. Don't stall or stress over whether you're doing the right thing. You'll always know the answer in your heart.
Rather than be discouraged, always remember that rejection and resistance are almost guaranteed when you are doing something very important and very special.
~ The Meaning of Life, Bradley Trevor Grieve
Sunday, March 06, 2005
Went for the RG drama Fata Morgana yesterday. Was really... too lengthy. A lot of people were getting restless. I have to say that Midsummer Night's Dream Melayu Punyer was much nicer, and more engaging. But there were good actresses. Humairah was the hantu... and she could act. She was gooood. And there were a lot of screaming. During and after the play. Sort of... missed the screaming. Haha.
Am really quite scared for dwi darma.
Am really quite scared for dwi darma.
Saturday, March 05, 2005
Why is it that some people in this world, or should I say most, just strive to be the best, the top, number one? Does it give so much joy to know that one is most successful among one's peers, or the most intelligent in the family, or the big powerful boss? Why, why, why?
Success is not all bad when it is not achieved for its own sake. But when success is the ultimate destination, I feel that the work becomes dishonourable. I'm not sure I'm putting it rightly... But it's like being untrue. For instance, you could desire to become a doctor because you would earn that respectable title of 'Doctor' or you could become one because you honestly think it is your life's call to cure sick people. Either way you still help people. Only the latter person has lived the life he feels he was meant to live. And all the recognition is just an added unnecessary bonus. While the former just gains materially. How does that person get the satisfaction of having lived a life worth living? How do you die happily like that? I don't know... Maybe for some, gaining wealth and fame is their life's purpose.
I think each one of us has the potential to succeed in our paths, provided we choose the path that is best suited to us. I'd rather do something I think I like or am best suited for and not be very successful rather than I do something I don't really like but am extremely successful. (I take success here as meaning achieving wealth and fame.)
Oh, here, I checked it up. Success is the achievement of something desired, planned or attempted.
I fear that I will end up living a life I don't want to live, doing the things I don't want to do because of obligation and fear of disappointment. Then I'd look back on my childhood and feel sorry that my dreams are just dreams and nothing else.
Must take my chances. Carpe diem!
Success is not all bad when it is not achieved for its own sake. But when success is the ultimate destination, I feel that the work becomes dishonourable. I'm not sure I'm putting it rightly... But it's like being untrue. For instance, you could desire to become a doctor because you would earn that respectable title of 'Doctor' or you could become one because you honestly think it is your life's call to cure sick people. Either way you still help people. Only the latter person has lived the life he feels he was meant to live. And all the recognition is just an added unnecessary bonus. While the former just gains materially. How does that person get the satisfaction of having lived a life worth living? How do you die happily like that? I don't know... Maybe for some, gaining wealth and fame is their life's purpose.
I think each one of us has the potential to succeed in our paths, provided we choose the path that is best suited to us. I'd rather do something I think I like or am best suited for and not be very successful rather than I do something I don't really like but am extremely successful. (I take success here as meaning achieving wealth and fame.)
Oh, here, I checked it up. Success is the achievement of something desired, planned or attempted.
I fear that I will end up living a life I don't want to live, doing the things I don't want to do because of obligation and fear of disappointment. Then I'd look back on my childhood and feel sorry that my dreams are just dreams and nothing else.
Must take my chances. Carpe diem!