I dreamt I had a talking golden cat the other night! It was the prettiest thing. And when I woke up in the morning, all I wanted to do was go back to sleep so I could stroke its fur again. haha. It felt so silky in my dream. And it talked! Man. I so want a talking pet. Which of course doesn't exist. But I want one.

Today's LSM paper wasn't too bad. Mostly cause it was open book. Hah. The problem with open book exams though is the constant flutter of pages in the exam hall that is kind of distracting. And the extremely cluttered desk one has to contend with, what with two files and a big textbook.

Only math left. The worst left for last. But at least there's only 21 hours left to the end of exams (for me at least!) and happiness.

And I'm going to Morocco on Friday night too. So here's a public declaration that I won't be around from Dec 1st to Dec 9th, in case, for some reason I haven't anticipated, you want to look for me. I don't want what happened last time to happen again: when the linear gang wanted to have lunch and thought I'd turn up but then I was in Surabaya. :p

And oh, I already have at least one song I KNOW will have to be in the Morocco video: Taufik's Teman Istimewa! It is so bouncy and fun. I am excited about being a part-time filmmaker again. heh.

It's not fair! It doesn't seem fair! Practically two-thirds of my math module class scores 95 and above for both CAs. And there are definitely more than 10 people soring full marks for both. LIKE SERIOUSLY. Don't these people do anything other than math?! So that despite my scoring what are seemingly decent scores of 74 and 85, I sit at the 59th percentile of the class! That's like a C or something on the bell curve.

Somebody calm me down before I go strangle one of these people. It just makes my blood boil!

God knows I can't afford another C.

And today's LSM paper sucked! I just couldn't remember a lot of everything and was massaging my head in frustration throughout the paper, trying to recall.

I'm just so angry! And I know it's probably 95% my fault. Not Lawton's. Or the damn module itself. argh.

On better things: I'm set for Golden Compass with mumu and eunice. I shall bring the book on the trip to reread. ah yes. friday is so close and yet so far.

The ULTIMATE personality test

Seer
Take this quiz!








Quizilla |
Join

| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

eeeh. obviously wrong, I think, seeing as how more often than not, I don't know anything.

I have minimal time left to mug for metabolism! :s Last night I managed to eke out 8 and a half pages of words for the heritage paper. Again: :s. I actually need 10 pages!

I have photos of bubu's wedding and hashim's passing out parade. But I'll have to leave that for later. After I'm done with this week.

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

e. e. cummings

I think it's one of the sweetest poems I've ever heard! I cried buckets when Cameron Diaz read it out at the end of In Her Shoes. Sister stories always strike a chord with me. Maybe it's because I do have my own sister, and sisterhood is a bond so tight. It's like, no matter how many friends you have, no matter how much time you spend talking with someone else instead, I feel like my sister is the only one who knows me best.

Or maybe I just love drama. ahah.

Marina Mahathir's coming to NUS to give a talk on Islam and AIDS. I want to go! She's a controversial person. Would be interesting to see her speak in person. But what bad timing, I ask you!!! It is the study week. I need the entire of it to finish my heritage paper and study for three finals. :s - chews lip incessantly - To go or not to go, that is the question. And must reply today! eesh.

Haven't I said many times before how I wish a day had 40 hours instead?

Eh, I like The Noose! If you didn't know, it's sort of a spoof of Singapore's local news, with crappy news stories (at 10pm on Sundays on channel 5). Of course some stuff are lame, but some are really quite original and funny. It's really great that we're learning to poke fun at ourselves. Learning to laugh at oneself is a sign of progress, ne? :)

Like they're saying the merlion is having a gender identity crisis. what is that lah. haha.

Also:

"Nobody studies political science just cause they like it! That's preposterous!"

omgosh. what am I doing, what am I doing, what am I doing!!! I need to severely bonk my head and wake up. And do something concrete.

Okay, things over the past few days:

1) Spent another whopping 12 hours on boinformatics project: from 10 to 10! nyeeaah. But thankfully, I think we're almost done and I'm just left with compiling.

2) Watched Lions for Lambs, which is a good story that I absolutely heart. (Goodness, when did I start speaking like this?) And the fact that the theatre had a magnificent total of less than 15 people (on a friday night, mind you! during the school holidays!) really proved the whole point about apathy. The story's all about how much people are actually doing to change things in this world. Very, very moving. And I love Meryl Streep - awesome.

3) Had the last tutorial for Politics of Heritage, in which Patrick told us of a professor in NUS who had the unshakeable opinion that the large majority of NUS are an "apathetic mediocrity". I was so incredibly affronted and angry by that. I resent that! I do! That is so very unfair - I think there are quite a few people I know who are not apathetic but are trying to find ways to be involved; to do things. And when I watched Lions for Lambs, it totally connected with me, and I got angry at that unnamed professor again.

4) Had liqa' last night at Ami Omar's place. After which we told ghost stories until I had nightmares last night.

5) Speaking of ghost stories, my bioinfo team mates were in LT25 at night and started telling each other ghost stories and we started getting freaked out. Then Thaharah went to switch off the lights and we screamed! I never thought of Thaharah as a prankster before then. It reminded me how you should never underestimate people in general. haha.

6) I am slowly getting excited about Morocco. :) Ahmad says it's about 12 degrees. Might be even colder in the mountainous regions. I'm already having vague plans of how this holiday video will turn out. yay.

7) I have decided that my new year resolution for 2008, and for which I will start working on starting this moment, is to be: HARDWORKING. I was thinking how, when I was bored last night, that playing doesn't excite me anymore. I want to try to achieve goals instead. Maybe that'll give me more satisfaction, Allah willing.

Toodles.

My math professor is a serious nutcase! But also very amusing. He refuses to give answers to our review questions. And insists we work on them. People complain they couldn't see the board during lecture and that the webcast quality is bad (this means I'm screwed) and still he refuses to relent. Man.

The problem that you cite below : "it is impossible for the students to see from the back."

has the following solution:

LET STUDENTS SIT IN THE FRONT ROWS.

This solution is based on the physics of wave propagation. First, luminosity decreases with the squared distance between the board and the student. Second, the area subtended on a students retina by a letter or mathematical symbol written on the board also decreases with the squared distance between the board and the student. Third, the absorbtion and scattering, especially of shorter wavelength blue and green colors, by molecules comprising the atmosphere, increases monotonically with increasing distance between the board and the student.


ah. isn't uni life so exciting? such sarcastic professors.

dear prof. sitting in front wouldn't be a solution because the lecture is OVER to begin with! I am dead.

Got distracted with the stuff I've saved on my comp. Like my quotes etc. Want to post one that made me laugh again. haha.

"Excuse me, your highness. I thought I made it clear that it wasn’t my journey. She made up her mind to get to the capitol, I was just along for the ride because my home was gone."

"You spent a week traveling with Sakura and risking your life just because you had no home?"

"Well, no. I guess I felt sorry for her, a little. I mean, she had no idea how to get to the capitol, and she was helpless in the countryside."

"Uh-huh. So you stayed by her, and protected her?"

"That’s right."

"All the time?"

The prince must be pretty appreciative, thought Li, and nodded.

"All the time." He was surprised when Tory yanked on his shirt and pushed him up against the wall.

"So you slept with her?"

"No!"

"So you did leave her alone!"

"No!"

"Well, which is it?"

~ Heir to the Kingdom by Peacewish

In the midst of her Olevels, my sister completely forgot about her madrasah exam. @_@ ahah. And is now cramming everything within a day of study. But I think it's okay. God will forgive honest slips of the mind.

Went out for dinner last night and met up with aunts and company. I do miss having fun. Sometimes I wonder if I'll just become a half-machine if I coop myself up constantly. My sis and me decided that Umar is our most kawaii cousin, both looks and personality-wise. Haha. Yesterday, cause his dad wasn't around, he was offering to pay his share of the dinner. My sis and me immediately went, "Cuuuuuutttteee!" And when he grows up even more and grows even that much taller than he is now, he'll be even more kawaii, what with his semi-mat-salleh looks.

Can anyone tell that I'm trying to avoid doing work? Nyyeeeah. 3 weeks to end of november.

Went for the Tony Blair talk. I'm glad I went. I think it made me realise some things. Like maybe a global utopia is possible. (Okay, maybe not a utopia, but something halfway there.) Like it doesn't matter if you're Jew and I'm Muslim, we can hug anyway. (Honestly, I don't think I can. Not out of any true feeling of animosity; just that I'd be too weirded out. haha.) And all countries will have responsible, selfless, non-corrupt leaders. And people by the millions won't have to die of preventable causes and diseases, as documentaries often lament.

oh man, who are we kidding.

optimism! We must have that!

I think politicians are generally very idealistic and optimistic people. Unless they're faking it, of course, and they're just in it for the money and fame. :| gasp. haha.

Sometimes, I think I'd probably be a plebeian if I were to be put in old Rome. I'm too easily swayed by words. Hm.

I think I said we already had our last day in the biochem lab. But today we painstakingly went back again to redo our SDS gel electrophoresis. And our hard work paid off in the end. Because we managed to get protein from all our chromatographic batches!!!

:))))))))))))))))))

ohmygod. People probably don't get why I'm so nerdily happy about this. But it was just SO INSANELY IMPOSSIBLE before this to detect the minimal protein content from our ion exchange column. We were giving up on it and speculating that we majorly screwed it up despite the fact that we repeated the ion exchange THREE TIMES, okay. But I am so happy because we could detect the enzyme band on the gel, faint as it was, at 6 pm today. And this means we did it right!

yay yay yay.

And Wei Chieh actually brought the gel back home to take a proper photo of it (cause the lab camera sucks) and he wrote on the gel container, "Our Pride". heh, so funny! Many groups didn't manage to get pretty gels like we did, so our gel is entitled to such a name. Hee.

After days and hours of toiling in the lab and breathing chemicals every day and exposing ourselves to carcinogenic polyacrylamide, a beautiful gel means a lot.

Only little more than a week left to the end of sem. I think I worked really hard this semester. Although I'm still flailing in numerical analysis and much of my projects still remain incomplete, I hold much hope for my cap and my future this time.

hooray again for our SDS gel! Lalala.

And oh, am excited for the Tony Blair talk at NUS on friday! Managed to get the invite. yay yay yay.

I thought this was cool and very fascinating, although in his book, The God Delusion, Richard Dawkins seemingly dismissed it all together, as he does such a priori (go look this up) arguments about God.

You know the formula, m over nought equals infinity, m being any positive number? Well, why not reduce the equation to a simpler form by multiplying both sides by nought. In which case you have m equals infinity times nought. That is to say that a positive number is the product of zero and infinity. Doesn't that demonstrate the creation of the universe by an infinite power out of nothing? Doesn't it?

From Aldous Huxley's Point Counter Point

You know, I keep telling myself things like, "I am going to fnish my math assignment by tonight if it kills me." Or "I will DIE DIE study biochem tonight." But then, I fail to do what I intended to anyway, and I realise that, GASP: I have become immune to death threats. Waaha.

I try to amuse myself, I do.

Today was crazily exhausting though strangely satisfying. somewhat. My bioinformatics project team worked for 12 hours from 9 to 9 on a saturday! We sat in the science library the whole time. >_< Is that nuts or what. I am so damn crazy tired. But I feel a little accomplished and a little good cause we managed to progress with our project. Like they say, hard work is gratifying in its own way.

And I'm thinking that maybe, it's good to want to do many things in life. I just want to be colourful that way.

okay, am soooo sleepy. I need to reduce the size of my eyebags and get some serious rest.

I got asked by two different people today: "What's your ambition?" And both times I said, "I wish I knew."

I wish I could say, I want to be a doctor, a scientist, a teacher, or at least something! And stop straddling boundaries and going back and forth over decisions and agonize over every choice that I make. I can burst into tears thinking about these things and I just wish wish wish I could figure things out. Because wishy-washy is not a good way to be in this world.

Actually, I do have dreams of what I want to do, but those are unfeasible things. Like, I want to build a library. Like a real library where knowledge is treasured and revered; not the cold, impersonal, irritating, overcrowded pseudo-libraries we have in Singapore, in which people are actually forbidden from studying. What nonsense, I tell you.

And none of this business about competition and chasing after paper qualifications. I am just truly sick to my stomach over it.

Amityville Horror is scary. >.<

We finally had our supposed last day in the lab today. And honestly, I don't care if I don't ever hear of enzyme purification again. -______-

I also need to be very very much kinder to myself. sigh sigh sigh.