It's so irritating. I hate how any form of anger I feel just keeps getting transformed into hurt like some unstoppable math equation, and I fail to vent my anger in any satisfying manner. It's like the urge to rage is always quickly buried under the urge to huddle and cry. It's UGGGHHHH! In the end, no matter what, I am the one always feeling horrid, and the injustice of it just maddens me.
Like the other night when I came back home after dinner with some friends, and I found the house pitch black and empty and I'd realised the entire family had gone to watch a movie without telling, and a movie that I'd badly wanted to see too, I felt so angry. How inconsiderate and thoughtless the whole thing was. And I remember thinking, 'I haven't felt so angry in a long time'. But looking back, I think it was more the fact that there was no one around; lack of inhibition allowed me to feel my anger. And for once, you know, I could slam the door. And just let go.
Ah sigh. I swear, I should buy some cheap china and have a corner for plate-breaking.
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