Still working through my re-watch of Hanadan. (:

Oshiawase ni.

I totally love Tsukushi -- adorable, gutsy, brave girl.

yes, she is, Domyouji!

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and... hello, long weekend! :D

the little girls from Qatar are back for a short holiday, and it will be a busy weekend, yay. Also, I have my first Arabic exam coming up -- did I say I've resumed my Arabic? I have! I shall ganbarimasu and be more awesome at this than ever before (and not completely mix up my non-English, non-Malay vocabulary, hehe).

Time is a tricky thing, isn't it. 

Depending on one's reference point, something can feel like it's been forever, and something else can feel like it was only yesterday.

I've been rewatching Hanadan! 

I've sorta calculated that I do this about every 2 years or so, haha.

And I've also revisited my love for Utada Hikaru's songs -- seriously, I used to have her on repeat like all day or something and knew every word by heart.

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And Domyouji/Makino -- love them so much. This show, it makes me laugh so hard, and makes me cry so bad. Japan! When will you produce another magic like Hanadan!

DOUMYOUJI: Hello.
MAKINO: Uh… um… It’s me, Makino.

DOUMYOUJI: Oh.

MAKINO: Can you talk right now?

DOUMYOUJI: Sure. I can talk.

MAKINO: We haven’t done this in a while huh? We haven’t used these phones…

DOUMYOUJI: You’re… right. What’s wrong? Are you crying?

MAKINO: I’m sorry. I’m not crying. You know… You know what? Talking to you… on this phone… is such an amazing thing. I thought… I would never… ever hear your voice from this again.

DOUMYOUJI: Makino.

MAKINO: This Sunday…

DOUMYOUJI: Eh?

MAKINO: Ebisu Garden Place… Clock Tower Square, at 1 o’clock!

wah! I like this:

realize that anything worth doing is worth doing badly

from The Rules To Be Happy

friday = love

I'm seriously in love with Friday. At this point, nothing makes me happier, haha. (:

I've had such a wonderful Friday today -- only two patients the entire day (complex but interesting, and I probably bombed my evaluation on both, but what the heck, M was still so nice to me after). Also, my afternoon was spent writing up patient notes at a relaxing pace, because my clinic slots are still empty. Then I met up with my SLP classmates -- who are really some of the best people I have ever known -- and our dinner made my entire day, and my entire week.

If this is my support system in this field, I can survive this, and I can succeed in this profession, God-willing. I am so grateful for this bunch of people -- my heart feels full.

A real connection is almost palpable; and therefore touches you.

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I wish I had more adorable girls in therapy -- but if they're able to do stuff like this, then duh, they probably don't need my services.

This is the famous Japanese-American girl, Nina, whose early childhood days were documented on youtube and remains one of the cutest things ever on the web. 

(My mum says she looks like I did when I was teeny, but I was cuter, heee. :P)

This one, when Nina can't say "k" -- dad could have tried pressing down on her tongue with a tongue depressor or a lollipop! That would have helped. But anyways -- totally okay if she's not saying "k" when she's this teeeeny!

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And this is the vlog episode with Lizzie Bennett and Mr Darcy finally getting together (somewhat non-halal, sorreh) -- god, I adore these two! I don't think I've ever hated any version of the Lizzie/Darcy pairing. I practically had to slap my mouth to stop from fan-squealing while on the train.
This has been an excellent internet production; probably best ever.

Whatever you lost through the stroke of destiny,
Know it was to save you from adversity.
One small affliction keeps off greater afflictions;
One small loss prevents greater losses.

- Rumi

You can only work to be one of two things in this world:

rahmah or fitnah;

a mercy to others or a tribulation.

Today, while writing up some typical patient notes -- Child attempted to gain attention by lightly tapping on SLT's hand -- I felt an insane impulse to add to it: IT WAS SO CUTE!!!!! Patient notes are meant to be formal and concise and straightforward; this is of course very un-me, and I often feel the crazy urge to be random, flowery or rambly, just so I can convey with more feeling how the child appeared to me. (Seriously the kid was so cute; boring patient notes cannot do him justice.)

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Love this. Fuzzy, warm feelings in my chest.

They make me feel all ganbatte about work and the future. (:

The sky never ever forgets the memories even when we are apart
There won't be another season when I'll meet someone else
that I'll love this much
Shine more, my awesome lady
Surely, my feelings will reach you softly
Believing is everything
There is no night without dawn
Believing is everything
Love so sweet.

What I struggled to put into words when we were discussing marriage today!

... a great degree of happiness actually comes from pleasing others and in a relationship, that would be each partner doing their utmost to please the other. To a large extent, happiness is a derivative of that, rather than assuming that, as Alice says, we can or should feel happy all of the time. More important that ‘finding happiness’, which actually I think is the cause of a lot of unhappiness, is I would suggest serving certain principles and ideals, working together as a couple to seek to achieve them and happiness will be derived from working together as a couple towards these.

from mfcerrah

rurouni kenshin = kakkoi

omg, I loved the movie!

I didn't have great expectations for it because of the lukewarm reviews. I started out intending to watch maybe a half hour of it, but I ended up finishing the whole thing on a worknight -- couldn't stop! Maybe it's cause I haven't seen the full anime so I had nothing to compare it to; so I finally discovered the awesomeness that is Himura Kenshin and became enthralled. The fighting was pretty fascinating too.

Ah, I do love heroes. Don't we all? Which is why -- I generally dig the shows or stories with clear hero archetypes.

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When we hit a wall, what can we do but take a step back, and pray that we find a way through.

The past Saturday, my sis, parents and I were stuck in a traffic jam in Johor till ~1.30am because of a Chingay event taking up road space; we had been warned about it during the course of the day's shopping but we had not anticipated the extent of its effect on the entire pusat bandaraya. It was nutso~~~~~!!! and hilarious to recall. We had set off for home at 8+ pm but by 9.30-ish the traffic was crawling at ant's pace, and by 10-ish, we were stationary. It felt like the entire city simply shut down and witnessed the chingay.

After some irritating squabbling and finger-pointing amongst ourselves in the car, my dad pulled over and shut down the engine and we whiled away the hours while the chingay people had their fill of the fireworks and the singing and the merry fun. The entire highway was filled with people lounging around their stationary cars and chatting each other up and fanning ourselves against the heat. I was sprawled across the backseat watching a movie on my iPhone (leftovers from my Spain trip stash, hehe, thank goodness). My sister described how further down the road at the Shell kiosk, the scene was ala end-of-the-world, with cars packed in the roads but stationary or abandoned, and dark roads (because they had switched off the lights for Chingay light effects, wooh!) and people queueing up for basic amenities -- i.e. toilet.

All-in-all, quite the adventure.

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Been listening to the Bayyinah app on the way to work for the past 2 months (oh, how time flies!), and Allah bless our tireless teachers who impart such valuable knowledge. I feel like I've learnt so much from listening to so little, and it's been helping me keep life and work in perspective, Alhamdulillah. yay. (:

I really like this Arashi song, Wild at Heart!

Maybe it's the bouncy-ness of it, that reminds me of the early days when I fell for Arashi (and JE as a whole). Arashi = they make you feel less crummy when you're having a bad day.

If you've overburdened yourself, throw it all away
Leave tomorrow  to how tomorrow wants to handle it
Nobody knows what will happen in the future
All we need to do is live the present, 

Let's go

Wah, I actually really agree with this. And if there's one thing that I regret about jumping ship into speech therapy, it's leaving the fascinating but difficult world of coding. And my god, I too have said before I'm sure: they should have taught us to code in school! It really is a creative process.



hey, who knows, maybe in the future, I can code and make one of those software therapy program thingys. hmmmmmm.

Blogging juices running out. Finally... otona no ka...?

I still have the same running thoughts though. One that has been making its rounds in my head is a memory of S and me at City Hall MRT station, while we sat on the steps leading up to the shopping mall, and we were waiting and chatting. I remember telling her that you know, it's great, I think this field is where I'd finally find my place and niche, and in turn I asked her how satisfying her work was and her future would be doing what she was doing -- and I remember her looking at me with a half smile, and saying: how she was bigger than anything she did.

It made me stop then, because oh my goodness, isn't it true. Dear old friend, some of the things you have said with such nonchalant wisdom, stay with me.

I think deep down, we all know this, but we're so insecure, we latch onto man-made labels to give ourselves worth. But truly, life is best lived if you don't box yourself into any imaginary boundaries -- professional or otherwise -- but rather live with great purposes in mind, be it to better the self or the community and world at large. And then truly, the world is your oyster.

In relation to this, I remember a younger girl I'd met when I was doing that brief research stint at IBN: she was all hard-working and trying to gain credits so she'd be a shoo-in to medical school. I just conversationally asked her, "What if you don't get to become a doctor?" In response, she widened her eyes and gave me an are-you-insane-that-is-not-an-option look. I added, "I'm sure there'll be other ways you can still do great things and help the community..." At which point, she decided the conversation had to end. 

Seriously, isn't it that if there is awesomeness, awesomeness will shine forth regardless? And that really, the ultimate goal is to be an awesome human being.

I hope I make sense. 

Sleep calls, and tomorrow's mountain load of work awaits.

It is a life skill to be able to both zoom out to look at the big picture, and zoom in to examine the details. 

Game of Thrones SPOILERS

Because I never got this far into the book, I didn't know this was coming.

I was quite traumatized. That was one of the best execution scenes I've ever seen. How the whole thing, plus Sean Bean's acting chops, were put together -- to show the sad end of this honourable man, just, it takes my breath away. :'( I wish he'd shouted into the crowd instead about the evil, lying, Lannisters, and how Geoffrey is a child of incest and not a Baratheon, heir to the throne; but of course he confessed instead to a crime he did not commit, to save his daughters. Goodness, I cried like a baby. The best man, maybe in the entire realm, is dead. 

The quite unbelievable thing about this whole series is that somehow, only the House of Stark appears to have honour. Every other individual saves its own skin. And what is the message here, huh -- that honour and nobility necessarily brings with it bloodshed and suffering? :( Nobility is a rare and beautiful thing.

this is quite cool! this guy basically makes covers of famous pop songs, 

but imbues them with spiritual meaning. 

And now I
Know I can't be the only one
I bet there's hearts all over the world tonight
With the love of their life
Who feel the way I feel when I'm
With You, With You, With You, With You, Ya Rahman!

Little girls are totes adorbs, as Lydia Bennet would say. (: 

They talk so much more than little boys, play with others more, negotiate more, ask you the most hilarious questions, and are so so sweet. Little boys bounce around too much, it's exhausting (and most of my therapy kids are boys! no surprise). Although Abbas yesterday was so cute and gave away his goodie bag candies to us cause he said he didn't like to eat them.

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It's a comfort to find super-veteran speech language therapists recounting their first clients and saying they came out of their first session in tears. Because honestly, at times, after a session, I'm like, I can't do this. It's too hard and insane. So I can believe there's hope for me to become awesome still, and all this failure and cluelessness right now is part of the natural journey. I saw a video of a therapist talking about how her first client was a Down's syndrome child with, omg, a cleft palate and severe hearing loss, and she left the room to cry and promptly announce that she quit, haha. Except the doctor was an awesome man: he gave her a box of tissues, told her to compose herself, get back in, and throw her textbook knowledge out the window. Just observe the child and learn.

The past week, I had at least three meltdowns in session, where there was serious screaming. One boy was screaming on the floor and refused to get up, seriously. The other one screamed the moment you move any toy an inch from its original position. Neither of these are speech and language problems per se, but kids come with a myriad of issues and we have to deal with them anyway. When they finally leave, I feel like clawing my cheeks.

Failures are the doors to success, yes.

The moment when you truly realize that this life is only temporary.

It is always the case that when you thought you knew something, you find out more about it, and then realise, no, you didn't really know it. And it applies to every aspect of life and learning, I think.




Like, my goodness, my therapy sessions -- O.O

Every time I think I have prepared enough, that I have it all in my head, that I've seen this done before, I see a high complexity case, and... crash and burn. The learning curve is so steep, it's almost a vertical cliff and I'm clinging on for dear life. Subhanallah, this life is really a place of struggling.

My personal reminder = every day is a struggle for a better self.

If I'd known less about The Mortal Instruments, I might give this a pass. But because this is the movie adaptation of Cassandra Claire's best-selling series and CC was someone (HarryPotter fanfiction writer) I used to follow with such devotion in my younger years, I have to check this out. I never got round to reading the book, but I am still nonetheless fascinated. It's really kind of cool that she used to be this online persona that we gravitated toward and whose writing enthralled us (plagiarism aside).

But the biggest point of watching is of course, the fact that Jace, by all impressions, is simply DT!Draco by another name, in another verse. I'd probably dissect him from the very first scene, and compare every minute detail.

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I love this! 

Nouman Ali Khan says, "You all should be happy! So that others will ask, why are you so happy? And you go, ...La ila ha ilallah"

:D Muhammad Rasulullah.