I put so much store in trying to be someone who looks beyond the surface... But one can't escape being shallow once in a while?

kuch kuch

Maybe it's because I'm already feeling the festivity mood seep into my system (only 1 week into Ramadhan, whoops, hehe) -- but I've been revisiting my love of Bollywood. I've been suspecting that my Indian blood rises to the surface during festive seasons. Maybe it's all the kecoh-ness of the iftar meet-ups.

 Anyway, so I've been combing my old song favourites and re-watched Kuch Kuch Hota Hai (one of the love stories of my childhood, seriously), and I noticed something -- the Eilean Donan castle (in Scotland!) features majorly in the main theme song of Kuch Kuch! Like omgggggg.

If I had known this back in 2010 post-graduation, I might have posed ala Rani Mukherjee with a saree, in front of the castle (and embarrass Eunice in the process).

I have been feeling ultra nostalgic about the Khan bollywood era -- it's reaching its end, now that almost all the Khans are touching 50.

But omg Kuch Kuch -- you were my first well-loved Hindi movie. I remember clearly that Sunday from 1999 at the old Geylang market: hesitantly asking my dad if I could get the $10 VCD of Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. That was my first ever purchase of Bollywood. And the rest is fangirl history.

The sister just informed me that actually, bad things come in threes!

haha, omg, this is why I am always a confused woman.

Ramadhan come again! Alhamdulillah. (:

from owh so muslim

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Is it true...? Good things come in threes?

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Excellent rebuttal piece by the ever-fiery Mehdi Hasan at an Oxford Union debate whose motion I think shouldn't even be contested.

signpost training

We see only what we wish to see.

Blogging from amidst the SPA conference right now.

Being here makes me feel like a small fish, trying to play with the big guns. It reminds me of how little I know (and how little I literally am, haha)! And how much there is still out there -- it makes me feel excited about a whole lifetime of learning and honing and developing.

I think one of the ways you know if you've made the right decision, Alhamdulillah, is if you don't feel trapped thereafter. I remember being younger and not knowing how to make choices, thinking that I'd close myself off to wonderful things once I make a decision. It is true and unavoidable that in making a decision you ultimately choose one path and leave the other paths behind; the difference in the right path however, is that you don't feel like turning back to check out on the other paths, and you feel excited about running ahead to discover the wonderful things you know lie further down this path you've chosen.

So instead of feeling trapped, you feel like you're running free instead.

Watched Epic the Animation today -- surprisingly entertaining and funny! 

Love these two crazy slugs.

So exhausted these last few days. Today, I honestly felt like a little hamster on a treadmill -- I almost literally scurry between rooms and scurry around between patients. And at the end of it all, I have a headache trying to squeeze in all the paperwork!

Some day it will be okay? Please, God.

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“I think we have created this stigma of confusion around relationships which makes those who prefer to be direct and honest feel like we’re over thinking, when in fact, we’re just uncomfortable in a place that requires that we act slyly. All this stuff about playing games and whatnot is ridiculous. Be honest with yourself, be honest with others, and go after what you want. No matter what you do or say, what is written for you will be yours and what isn’t won’t be. So go, take a leap of faith, put yourself out there, and don’t be afraid to hear no, because your provision has already been written.” 

-- Nadir Keval

Alhamdulillah, this puts such a perspective of being Muslim in a non-Muslim situation. (:

I'm liking more and more of Shaykh Omar's lectures; this one especially reminds me to do things I need to even when it gets hard! And not dart away around corners to pray, and feel guilty when I'm only trying to be what I should.

Also, about a month to Ramadhan -- this time I'll make sure I get out of it at least a little better than before!

cinta jangan pergi

Been cooped up at home the past two days, with a terrible sore throat and a croaky voice. I have come to realise how much my job depends on my speech -- being a speech therapist and all, haha. I hope my throat doesn't worsen after my return to work tomorrow... :( seeing as how I spend the better part of almost every hour talking non-stop.

I've taken this nice retreat at home to go over my Arabic grammar books! I do love quiet hours and sitting with books and not having to rush.

On the drama front -- I have actually started a Malay drama! Wahhh, you should say. The first time in a long time; actually the first time since this same pairing in Nur Kasih. And now they're together again in Cinta Jangan Pergi -- the plot kinda reminds me of Winter Sonata, except there isn't really a memory loss plot device (which is k-drama's forte). With Malay dramas, I'm always kinda on edge, waiting to be disappointed, but this hasn't been too bad so far.

And the songs are nice nice nice!

For something to last, it has to evolve... ne.

I've been reflecting on this. And that if something stays stagnant, it starts to rub on the new ever-changing environment and then... :(

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A reminder for me:

God, help me move on from being a dabbler and hacker.

Monday blues

It's always easier said than done? Some days all I want to do is curl up under the covers and sleep the hours away...

Nodame Cantabile!

I've started re-watching the live action manga-adaptation; FYI, the drama is about young Music majors trying to take on the difficult world of music.

Laugh-out-loud hilarious, heartwarming, inspiring, with a cute, nutty, and unlikely OTP -- this totally ranks as one of the best and most re-watchable dramas in my list. (Speaking of which, I really should physically make a list or something, shouldn't I?)

Nodame Cantabile is also likely the one that taught me how to appreciate manga-style J-drama, with all the crack and out-of-this-world plot twists. Despite the plot meanderings, the theme and objective of the story is solid, and moves you in all kinds of ways. God, I adore Nodame. And Chiaki. And practically everyone in the entire drama cast. The whole thing was so well done, so well-casted and so well-acted. I do remember giving this drama 5 hearts in my very first review of it, and I do it again now wholeheartedly, even just after the first episode re-watch.

(a separate review you might want to read: here.)

Nodame and Chiaki are amusing and inspiring at the same time; 

she is his muse, and he disciplines and hones her raw talent;

he puts order into her life, she spices it up for him; --

and they make awesome music!

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Still re-watching and getting my happy fix! :) hehe.

Oh, Nodame, how you make me laugh, you crazy, adorable thing. No wonder Chiaki loves you.

And this shall be here because the last part's like a summary of all that is wonderful about this drama.

(beware SPOILERS!)

n11D by aeeework19

I am happy it's a short week!

And this is amusing stuff -- this is why I love using LINE. It's cute, and fun, and when I'm back in whatsapp I feel handicapped by the lack of stickers.

There I was visiting Lin's house and was super hungry, but no food!

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Memorable things over the weekend:

1) I got this surprise from my lovely friend! 

Nothing makes you feel so loved as someone who takes note of the little things.

2) Went for Sarah's wedding, and OMG, she invited our APEX class from the first batch in 2008, and OMG, they are 17 years old now and so big! I met them at the reception, did a lot of exclaiming, and then felt so old. 

3) June holiday trip is materialising! Happiness.

"In fact, my soul and yours are the same. You appear in me, I appear in you. We hide in each other."

— Rumi

The best thing a parent can do for the child is to be a good role model.


It applies to every aspect of life. In my therapy sessions too, I'm like a broken record when it comes to explaining how parents should model for the child appropriate language forms. More than linguistic abilities though, parents should be the kind of persons they want their children to be. This should be a duh concept, right -- but it's surprising how little we actually truly contemplate this and how much less it is actually implemented.

It's been a point of discussion with some friends of mine what an ideal mother is -- and while I do admire mothers who focus on their children, take time off work or quit entirely, or devote their lives to educating and homeschooling their children (and for a time period, I really thought this was the absolute best thing for kids, and maybe it really is) -- I realise that it may not be the only best answer. I've been thinking that strong, independent, doing-big-stuff-out-there women as mothers are truly equally awesome, if not more so -- because they're a model of strength, drive, ambition, service, and their values are then best passed on to their kids. I've seen and heard of some women doing things like this -- how they accomplish this feat is a different story entirely; superwoman, anyone? -- I think it's great. You want your sons and daughters to do great things for the world when they grow up? Then you do it first and show them how it's done. I think success and service run in the family.

So many thoughts and emotions (life is a rollercoaster, yes?) but I want to tell this adorable story instead (taken from one of Shaykh Hamza's many lectures):

There was this desert man who, after catching a lizard for dinner -- yes, apparently desert people had lizards for dinner -- approached Rasulullah s.a.w. to ask, "Are you the man who claims to be the Messenger of God?"

Rasulullah s.a.w. replied: "Yes. Will you believe?"

The desert man was all-skeptical, and like, "I'll believe if this lizard believes!"

Rasulullah s.a.w. proceeded to ask, "What say you, lizard?"

And the lizard said, "I witness there is no God but Allah, and Muhammad is His Messenger."

: OOOODDDD 

I totally squealed! Ah, so cute.

Ya Rasulullah. How my heart aches.

Last night, I fell asleep thinking and wondering how on Earth people live without God. 

I was reading this: Female 'Purity' Is Bullshit and this: Why Good Girls Have Become As Extinct As Unicorns. 

I felt so scared and sad thinking of all the terrible things and ideas and the bleakness out there -- and my God, thank You for my solace in You. If I didn't have God, I can almost guarantee I'd be on anti-depressants. How do other people do without God, I honestly am curious.

An amusing post from dangermousie:

Ep 2 of Gu Family Book, as well as 3/4 of kdrama OTPs summed up in 4 caps. Seriously, angst overload, and it’s only the parents!







I was thinking as I watched the early episodes of Gu Family Book that the parents of heroes always have the saddest deals in stories -- seriously. The parents are generally awesome persons, but they will undoubtedly die terrible, unjustified deaths, so that their children will have difficult lives and grow up to become heroes.

And oh, the angst!

I am having such a dearth of good shows, and Gu Family Book is an attempt to entertain my nights -- not too bad so far, but I'm still waiting to be hooked in properly.

Donnie Darko

Well, no wonder this movie has a cult following! What a fascinating piece of work, yo.

And I do like this song too.

So much symbolism and so many levels of interpretation in this movie, not all or even many of which I actually think I agree with -- but man, I can totally appreciate how well-crafted it is! Superb how the pieces fit together only now on hindsight; this story will leave you going, What the heck just happened!!! when the credits roll. But even at that point of confusion, I already thought it was a great movie.

Then I went to dig up an explanation, and this was quite enlightening and added to my appreciation:


SPOILER!

I love it when I have an addition to either my list of must-reads or must-sees. 

the thing about cliches is that they really are true

We talked about happiness and depression tonight (amidst my wonderful birthday dinner with some lovely friends), and I realise I've been doing something; I've been holding out on what I believe is the key to happiness and contentment -- like I'm afraid some of my friends won't believe me. Which on reflection, is such a shameful act on my part, it cracks my heart.

It's God, my friends. For me, it's There is no God but Allah, and Sayidina Muhammad is His Beloved Messenger. It's as simple as that. And I'm afraid that when I say it, some of you will think, oh that answer, I've heard it before. But it's true, and I wish you could see it, so you'll be deep-down-happy too. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I'm rainbows and ponies most days; I still have my terrible moments -- tears come quite easy to me. But there's an anchor now lodged in my heart, that's like a spring of happiness and a compass for guidance, and as long as I water it with remembrance of God, there's light in my life, come what may.