Been quite some time. 'Tis reminiscent of my old disease. That gives me comfort; I crave old times. The 'how-we-used-to-be-like's, as pigey calls it.

To summarise my life right now, I would say that I feel lost. I feel like am being buoyed around and have lost all my roots. In the sense that nothing feels the same anymore; nothing. Every shred of normalcy has - okay maybe not every, but a lot - has fled. Schedule has gone topsy turvy, what with going to campus sometimes in the afternoon and coming home near ten, and praying practically all five times in school. And being nowhere near my old friends and familiar faces. It is very nice to meet new, nice people but sometimes it gets tiring and depressing. Sometimes. Because acquaintances and good friends are miles apart in essence.

Which is why even going home with Eunice is a comfort too, because it feels... for lack of better word: normal.

Every day is so energy-sapping that I always have no brain power left to express myself here or anywhere else.

Haven't had the chance to sit down and blog this past week. Which is strange since, technically, time taken up by lectures is very minimal in comparison with all the gaps in my timetable. Most of my days will start off with a 10-12 lecture, then 4 hour break (save for a few 1-hour tutorials on some days) and then a 4-6 lecture. I don't mind it that much. The only problem I think is spending too much time travelling in one day, within and off campus. Wish I could teleport.

Discovered I like Spinelli ice-blended spins! Yay. At least that's something nice in the Frontier canteen.

Parents have gone on what-is-becoming-fast-an-annual honeymoon again. Freedom. Going out for dinner with Cik Dah.

Cracked up completely when Idol was on last night. Because my brother said that Joakim should kill himself. For staying so long in the competition and consequently feeling guilty he's taking up space. But really. His fans should do him a big favour and get him out of there.

This post is harrypotter-related.

I used to think the whole Cassie plagiarism debacle was always over-exaggerated and that some psychos were fussing over a few random quotes. But now that some people have worked hard to enlighten the rest of us, I know now the extent of the situation. She had copied and lifted exact chunks and chunks of work from so many books, stories and works and never bothered to cite them properly, the way they deserved to. And I used to love the quotes from Draco Trilogy, ignorant of the fact that the true sources were elsewhere. It truly makes me feel sick to the stomach. And the way I used to go on about parallels between Lymond and Draco, they probably were real too! The blind thing?

I feel utterly betrayed. Being a somewhat younger HP fan than her and a lot of other big-name-fans, there's a certain respect that us younger ones have for the aforementioned older ones. To learn of such things just shatters my whole idea of fandom; is there any integrity at all? First Ms Scribe, now the true colours of BNF Cassandra Claire has become crystal clear as well. HP fandom has become such an ugly place that I almost wish HP wasn't my favourite book series. If maybe I were a Star Wars freak or something. But of course, that is simply not possible.

I hope Cassie feels horrible now. She deserves to, for all the deceit. I almost feel like deleting all posts that had anything to do with her. There is no way I would want to buy her professionally published book, City of Bones, or even touch it with a ten-foot pole. I just feel so disgusted and conned. Even if the City of Bones is 100% original, I wouldn't care. I can't stand dishonest creeps.

Here's the link to the account of The Cassandra Claire Plagiarism Debacle.

Occasionally, this displaced feeling gets too overwhelming. And I'm back in my imagery, on that long stretch of road. Maybe some of us are meant to go at it alone. When will I get used to it? Will I ever?

Should at least say that I got my comp bio modules. And the email was obscurely hidden within my NUS email inbox. So pesky the whole situation is. However, I have these uncharacteristic excited feelings about going to school. I haven't felt that in a long time; the last time was probably when I was eight or something and I absolutely aced schoolwork and everything was chicken feet and I liked doing worksheets.

Just wish I could be super-duper proud of myself sometimes. Or at least know that I'm doing the best thing for myself.

I wonder when I'll stop blogging completely. How long will this carry on? Another few years? But I can't imagine not wanting to type somewhere anymore. Not that I hate my blog or anything. Just a thought.

Forgot to mention something important:

DT has been completed. [Spoilers ahead!] Well, it's not a slash ending, thank goodness, but I didn't think it was that great either. Yes, they ended up as the closest friends ever but I felt like there were loose ends... So, are those two boys going to depend on each other like that forever? Is that a good thing? The D/G part was pretty abrupt and begs explanation and further development. There was a nice funny part where a private love letter was in danger of being exposed during breakfast - that was hilarious; reminiscent of peanut-butter-out-of-the-window fiasco. I also felt like Blaise made an implausible 180 degree turn in personality or something, which I strangely dont mind. I think DT was at its best mid-DS and early-DV, when the sarcasm was top-notch and situations were ultra funny, and Hermione hadn't become that intolerable. Just glad it's over. Three years have been too long.

I meant to post earlier but somehow could not find the perfect time.

Perhaps it's because my brain is already overloaded with worry over freaking modules which haven't been allocated but are supposed to. I can't stand it. EMAIL ME ABOUT MODULE REGISTRATION ALREADY. I have ranted about this in almost every available space accessible to me. I am close to the end of my tethers. Everyone else is printing lecture notes from the work bin and here I am, clueless? Wow, this comes close to that up-there level of frustration. Give me a neck to strangle. I need release.

Had a brief nice time though during the weekend with retail therapy, as duck likes to call it. When to the best place to shop, of course: Malaysia. I think after an hour or so shopping, one should blindfold oneself to prevent extreme over-expenditure. Let your eyes roam and you'll just definitely find something irresistable. Also does not help situation when you get approximately 230 bucks for every 100. You just feel like throwing money left and right. Went to KotaRaya and City Square and had scrumptious lunch at Singgah Selalu, where we do singgah selalu.

Back to horrible school reality: I will give them till 12pm tmr afternoon before I throw an uncharacteristic tantrum. Or at least get really mad or something. Which I actually already am. Let me rephrase: I will give them till 12pm tmr before I take further action. Drastic ones.

I think it's always a freaky thing to discover that one's uncle or any other unprecedented relative has stumbled onto one's blog. Shudder.

Waiting for email of instructions for comp bio modules.

Woke up this morning with a hindi song in my head. I am so nuts. But I love learning languages, it is so incredibly fun and satisfying.

Should update about this: got comp bio! Finally. Of course, still have no idea how I'm supposed to bid for the required modules, and whether I have to or what. Confused.

I think poems are beautiful but elusive things. The first time I see a poem, I might not get it completely; I mean, I understand the gist and can comprehend the meaning of it. But I only truly appreciate a poem only perhaps years or months after I read it. It's when something happens in my own experience, and then I realise it resonates with the poem. Then a sort of incredible enlightenment falls on me, and I feel a connection with the poet - and go, "Oh my god. This is what so-and-so meant."

Computational biology results still not out. Sick of waiting.