the lifespan of an idealist

I was thinking tonight, that the average lifespan of an idealist is probably 25 years.
For sure, they don't exceed 30.
Do they?


It's just that, the real world, it kills your hopes and ideals so easily, that I often have to recalibrate, and recalibrate, and recalibrate -- but thus far in my life, I have managed to repair my rose-tinted glasses of the world. It just surprises me that I find my idealist-self surviving; sometimes from a bed of ashes I feel, like a phoenix, haha. Because even when sometimes I think, that's it, S, finally -- surely you're no longer the fool and dreamer you were, I wake up down the road, and I've found my idealist self buzzing inside. When I realise it's still there, it's like regaining a pet I've lost or a piece of beauty I thought had been stolen forever, and it makes me want to cry and cry and cry; because, how could I have given up on you? You're here, you're beautiful, and you fill me with hope and joy.

My idealist self is still here. And I'm way past the age of budding youth. Shouldn't it have died? What am I feeding on that it's still alive? Should it die? No, right? I don't quite know. But mostly, I'm glad it's still here; because I don't think I'm me without it. I suppose it doesn't matter that much that it doesn't help me function as well or as efficiently as others in the real world -- because without it, I don't function at all.



This is a list I was thinking on earlier that proves my idealism is alive and well;

My Impossible (but is it...?) Wishlist

1) true love

2) an otter

3) KonMari herself to come and help me clean my space (but then I'd probably cry when she tells me to throw my books) or at least to succeed someday into making my living space incredibly zen and beautiful

4) respect for all women in this world (shouldn't it be world peace eh, hahaha; but this has obviously been more on my mind in recent times)

5) to meet a fellow Lymond reader (not even a fan, okay, just someone who read it!) by chance

6) to figure out a bit more about this synchronicity thing that E and I always talk about

it's not fair! how come other people get to have otters as pets! ):

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even YouTube is capitalising on BTS's popularity
and created a mini-documentary/reality series for BTS.
are you all on the BTS bandwagon yet?

ohhhmygod, every time I hear RM or Suga speak -- I'm in awe.
these two geniuses.