... let's get the meaning clear: empathy is the art of stepping imaginatively into the shoes of another person, understanding their feelings and perspectives, and using that understanding to guide your actions. So empathy is distinct from expressions of sympathy -- such as pity or feeling sorry for somebody -- as these do not involve trying to understand the other person's emotions or point of view. Nor is empathy the same as the Golden Rule, 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,' since this assumes your own interests coincide with theirs. George Bernard Shaw remarked on this in characteristic style when he quipped, 'Do not do unto others as you would have them do unto you - they might have different tastes.' Empathy is about discovering those different tastes.
~ Empathy: Why it matters, and how to get it by Roman Krznaric
This empathy vs. sympathy issue is one of my pet topics, because I believe the difference distinguishes someone with depth and real compassion and connection. Nobody wants to feel pitied (do they?), but everyone wants someone to understand. And for you to want someone to understand you, that person has to be able to show empathy instead of the simpler, shallower sympathy.
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