picture in my mind

There are
difficult days,
difficult days,
difficult days,
and then a good day.
And
It makes the earlier difficult days seem like good days too.
So may I live the coming difficult days like good days,
in wait of another good day
some day too.



I can't figure out how to put into words what happened recently without making it sound banal. Because it was amazing, but I don't think I can convey the awesomeness of it, really. I'd done something entirely by gut feel and a sense of passion and conviction; just kind of bulldozed my way about it too, because there was a rightness to it, and it just felt like what I should be doing. And then later to have it amazingly, almost unbelievably, entirely validated and approved, for almost everyone else to see... it feels like a nugget of gold.

On a personal level, it feels like a healing stroke to the heart, like a cooling touch; a kindly nod of approval from the Tester. Don't fret, S, you're on the right track. You're doing good.

Thank You for amazing tokens like this that help strengthen my faith and conviction,
and cushion my fragile heart.


At times like this, my faith in my own intuition and judgement is restored as well. Because, at the end of the day, I run on intuition more than anything else, and it's when I try to work against my own nature that I get agonised about things, I feel. The best decisions I have made in my life have always been done on a seemingly-irrational impulse felt in some deep way and with not that much conscious thought. I know it, I know this a 100%, but I can't really tell you why yet at the moment... or I want this, I really want this, don't ask me why. I like myself best when I don't doubt my inner voice. In fact, I have moments when I consult my inner sage and ask point-blank, "Come on, tell me. You know. I know you know. What do you think?" And depending on my overall emotional/mental/spiritual state, I may or may not trust her. I should trust her more. She tends to be more right than wrong.

Having said all that:
dear God, guide me in all my affairs; 
there is no Guidance but Yours.