*spoilers for Checkmate, Lymond Chronicles

I was walking (part of my work involves a lot of walking) and then I suddenly recalled something from Lymond -- and I realise I do this a lot. Beautiful pieces of literature that I have subconsciously consumed at some point earlier in life, are evoked later in my mind, after an experience, or on reflection. And that's the mark of good art, isn't it. That they are only deeply understood over time, and with maturity.

The famous Lymond-Philippa confrontation scene that I love has a line that always stuck with me, that as a 15-year-old, I perhaps could not fully appreciate. But then now, it suddenly took on a fuller dimension; oh, Lymond, I do hate and love him at the same time. It's frustrating, but I get him here; I really do. He's right, isn't he? It makes me realise that that whole period of time might have been quite worse for Lymond than Philippa although on the surface, he was such an ass to her. I mean, of course, wonderfully, it appears he was wrong about Philippa, but his fear is legitimate. I want to cry thinking about it.

"Do you know, Philippa, what an unsuitable match is? It isn't the kind I shall have with Catherine d'Albon, or even the kind you'll make with young Allendale. When one human being is trapped in the net of another's grand passion: then it comes about, and it is tragedy. It happened to Gavin and Sybilla. It is happening to Jerott and Marthe..."

"I had no expectations," Philippa said. The tears stood still on her face. "This is one lesson I know by heart already."

Of course, Philippa had to wrap her head around the fact that Lymond was talking about himself, not her; goodness, this unbelievably confusing and frustrating man. But however convoluted it all was, I'm so happy it ended well; these two will eternally be my favourite fictional couple.

And as I was hunting for the above quote, I brushed over certain other portions of the book, and I realise how much I love Philippa. I really think I do love Philippa more than Lymond. I don't know. I love her so much, seriously. She is a beautiful character; just so much pluck and love in all of her being.

Like this adorable bit, when Philippa hilariously quells Piero Strozzi's bluntness about attempting to ask Lymond about his 'son' by stomping on his foot -- it's her way of politely saying, shut up don't you dare ask that of Lymond, you insensitive block-headed person! I literally said out loud, "Ohmygod, I love you, Philippa." The things she does that speak of her love for other people, and the courage she has to do it, in service of that love and of honour and of dignity.

(Lymond has a soft moment where he decides to help one of the struggling serving boys during a royal banquet) This made me laugh but also gave me such fuzzy feelings of love for her:

"Oh Christ, he's going to spill jelly all over us" He switched to French. "I see, mon cher, you carry this as the King's pages do. I know a better way. Hold it thus, and thus. You see? And smile. The King likes smiling faces."

Piero Strozzi closed his mouth, which had fallen ajar. "Of course," he said. "You have a son, don't..."

He roared. "I beg your pardon. My foot slipped," said Philippa. "Have a date flan, and don't talk so much while the hautboys are playing. If you lose your voice, none of us will know what to do."

And this bit as well, makes me love Philippa even more (it's far too hard to explain the context; if you read Checkmate, you'd know this highly-charged scene, instigated by Marthe -- another character that evokes such conflicting feelings in me):

"Look at her," to her brother. "You drunken fool, why do you think she follows you? To be lectured, to take arms, to care for your bastards? She loves you. She's ripe for you. What have you to lose? Embrace her. Then take her home and see if I am right or not," Her voice thickened. "Remember me?" she said. "The marriage will stand."

Philippa dropped her hands and turning, walked to the fireplace. "Thank you," she said to the wall.

Face to face, Francis Crawford and his sister looked at one another.

"And thank you from me," said Lymond pleasantly. "You are an expert in love? In morality? In Christian conscience? How? From the stews of a fortune-teller's in Lyon? From your years as a Muslim, scouring the Levant for money? From your marriage to --"

"Stop it," said Philippa. She had turned.

"...from your marriage to Jerott?" Lymond said. "Go on. Be our guide. Look about. What other paramours can you find for me, sister?"

"Stop it!" said Philippa, at the top of her voice this time. She faced them, breathing quickly. "None of you knows what you're doing. Be quiet. If nothing will end it but someone's pride being broken, then as usual, it had better be mine. Mr Crawford, I am sorry to be lacking a beard, but if you will briefly be Jason, I shall do what I can with Medea. With the utmost distaste, let us embrace one another."

---

And in the spirit of giving tribute to my favourite fictional heroes, 

here's another:

Dean Winchester!

(I am about to start Season 13 soon....)

Tonight I will not be emo, but I will be a... fangirl!

Haven't been a full-fledged one in a while, have I.



I have been reeling from the happy-shock and overwhelming giddiness of having discovered a tiny Lymond fandom on tumblr -- tiny because I don't think it's more than the same 10-15 people or so blogging constantly. Yesterday, while passing time till my physiotherapy appointment (a story for another post, perhaps), I opened my Tumblr dashboard and was greeted by a Lymond discussion post. Which led me to track a lymond tag, and discovering a small but lively group of fans posting much love about it, in various forms.

For instance, there is incorrectlymondquotes, which attempts to write bits of canon dialogue or characterization into wacky, and blunt versions:

Adam Blacklock: I personally don't think it's possible to come up with a crazier plan.

Danny Hislop: We attack the Tartars with hummus.

Then there are others who discuss, about themes, and feminism, and plot movements. Some who envision fics to write, but acknowledge that any fic will never measure because the canon version is so beautifully written that no fic can ever attempt to match, and canon is so complete and rich so what's the point? This post is hilarious and brilliant, it has to be shared, where the author comes up with ideas for various fic genres, for instance:

Amnesia: which is actually already canon jesus christ dorothy but maybe i can do something to hurt francis even more hahahhaha i mean Imagine if it were Philippa? Sometime after they’ve settled into being married, Philippa loses her memory? And doesn’t remmeber… most of what she’s experienced with Francis. YES OBVIOUSLY THIS IS HOLLYWOOD AMNESIA, SHHHHH She hates him, ahhhh hahahaha, she hates him SHE HATES HIM SO MUCH, and Francis would want her back, but I do not forone second believe he would do crappy romcom-style stuff like trying to ~make her remember.~ Literally the second she said ‘I don’t like you, get away from me’ he. would. back. off., but he also wouldn’t be able to just leave because they’re, well, they’ve built a life together, and it would just be awkward and painful and amazing and maybe she never gets her memories back ever oh my goooooood and he has to leave her forever because she never forms that new, positive opinion of him because they can’t go through everything they went through all over again and oh my goooooooood it would be the most agonizing thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing

Bodyswap: well, Francis and Richard going all Freaky Friday is almost too good to pass up, lbrh. But that would be comic relief. The real disaster would be Francis and Gabriel switching places. Which, obviously, is the road I’d want to see this sort of story go down. (You can even have an HP AU version: “You didn’t really believe polyjuice was the only way to accomplish this, did you?”) I guess I’d be interested in either a non-HP curse/magic one, or a future!science brain swap one. The only thing these ideas have in common for me is that Philippa knows Francis isn’t Francis fucking immediately. Or rather, it’s not that she knows first, it’s just that she is willing to admit to herself that what she knows is true before anyone else is willing to admit it to themselves. So she knows, and even though she doesn’t like him at the start, she likes Gabriel a whole lot less (isn’t this kind of the plot of the novels?), so she helps fix it, somehow. In the magic one, Gaultier and Marthe are the sorcerer and his apprentice who make the switch happen. In the science one, Gaultier and Marthe are the doctor and assistant who make it happen. So, I guess these two half-baked notions have Gaultier and Marthe in common as well. That’s all I’ve got.

(And ohgod, what's wrong with me, I can't recall -- who on earth in canon had amnesia? Are we referring to Lymond's bout of headaches that render him unconscious?)

And then there is the ever-constant undercurrent of why is Lymond not more well-known and made into a TV show? If they could make a decent Game of Thrones adaptation, a decent Lymond series is not impossible. I think it'd need less prop and CG effects and therefore less capital. I know it may end up just terrible-beyond-terrible, but a film adaptation is fundamentally a tribute to the greatness of a story, and hello, this series is one heck of a story that so many are missing out on. It needs to be made.

And besides, we have a suitable candidate again I think, now that Peter O'Toole (who was Dunnett's choice) is no more -- that is, Tom Hiddleston -- who is awesome in many ways and can possibly pull off Lymond, though maybe not as pretty. Please, before Hiddleston too gets waaaay too old to be casted (he is already way older that Lymond was in Game of Kings!).

People are spreading the love:

It reminds me of my own early days of Lymond. I distinctly recall having to go sit for CTs (i.e. common tests back in JC) but wishing the whole time I could read ("THERE ARE WORDS THAT NEED READING" indeed) instead of sit in an exam hall, and what was the point anyway -- I was so screwed grade-wise cause I was up all night reading Lymond instead of studying, haha! 

God, how on earth did I manage to survive A-levels like that?

I started reading Lymond when I was 16, and finished the last book, I think just after I turned 18. After which I roped my best friends into it (with some success!) -- and birds, if you're reading this, do you guys have any idea how easy it is to google our old forums??? They are no longer private -- I repeat, they are NOT PRIVATE. There are quite incriminating things there -- DUCK, do something.

I laugh so hard reading our old posts, Lymond-related or not:

And I don't think Pige's gonna read Lymond. Seeing how Eunice's brain almost exploded from reading Lymond, think Pige'll sort of become discouraged.

a good day

There was a miracle today that should be recorded.

I found out today that I can wear my tudung to work!

Apparently, they'd just changed the policy only about a month back -- I had no idea, was resigned to the ridiculous, archaic, hospital policy, and was ready to figure out long-term strategies on how to find a way to fulfill my religious obligations in a secular environment, with options like going to the possible future Speaker of Parliament, Halimah Yaacob, for support. I'd known two years ago when I accepted their sponsorship, that I had to adhere to the department uniform. They gave me clear, repeated reminders about it too. So over the two years, my darling Muslim classmates worried with me, and we charted out plans. Khai told me how hospital staff attempted to fight for it before, except they never succeeded, but that I should try anyway. It seemed difficult and thorny, and all I prayed for was ease, somehow. And I remember thinking, God, only You know how it breaks my heart to do this.

So imagine how stunned I was this morning when the HR lady saw my photo, saw me, and was like, Hey! You know you can wear tudung! It's all right now! I was seriously happily stunned.

Khai was so cute and gets how this was such a big thing for me.

Alhamdulillah. and Masha Allah. :) It is true that Allah makes easy for the slave what He wishes.

---

Do you know, Philippa, what an unsuitable match is? It isn't the kind I shall have with Catherine d'Albon, or even the kind you will make with young Allendale. When one human being is trapped in the net of another's grand passion: then it comes about; and it is tragedy. It happened to Gavin and Sybilla. It is happening to Jerott and Marthe...

--Checkmate, Dorothy Dunnett

I read Lymond with older eyes now, and the more I see it, the more melodramatic I realise Francis was. What was that except a whole load of fear, and cowardly assumptions about Philippa's affections; he thought her love could never be comparable to his? Philippa, of course, initially could not understand him and insisted, you are not always right. Please listen. Please think. Are you sure, when it matters so much, that you know my feelings better than I do? And then it follows their famous exchange:

No, I'm not infallible. You might, without my crediting it, fall deeply in love and for ever, with some warped hunchback whelped in the gutter. I should equally stop you from taking him.

God in heaven, Do you think that I care?

I know you don't, But you must excuse the hunchback who does.

Francis pretty much admits here that he's scared! Except he says it in such pretty prose. It's ridiculous. Can someone be too smart that they become stupid? If he'd been less drama about it, Philippa might not have ended up doing crazy things which led to more real complications!

Why are heroes always made from tears and blood? Even in reality, and not just the fiction I love, we know that greatness often comes from the small, the poor, the despised, or the weak.

And then yesterday, I was reminded: of course! God is with the broken-hearted. (:

---

A heady experience, for an only child accustomed to single-thread happiness, and not to the moment of creation that occurs when the warp is interlocked with the weft. When the singer is matched with the sounding-board; the dream with the poet. When the sun and the fountain first meet one another.

- Checkmate, Dorothy Dunnett

I've been reading reviews, trying to relive my first read.

hello, weekend! I have missed you. And yes, I understand now how you are best friends with all who slog in the system. (Though technically, being only semi-working, I have stuff to study/work on during the weekend, ugggh.)

This morning I chatted online with a friend for a little -- and her life, gosh, I feel so jealous. I don't feel compelled to elaborate, but basically: that she's close to God, and when you're close to God, miracles happen.

---

SPOILERS!

Let me go back to reviewing The Princess' Man which I fangirl-ed about numerous times previously. Like I said, its ending was a bit problematic for me, but the thing is -- the OTP was unbelievable. And it would have won even if every other element of the story failed (which wasn't the case at all). The pairing was basically the most agonized love story I've ever witnessed in a drama. And I have had my fair share of reading or watching painful stories.

Step aside, Romeo and Juliet; what do you know of being trapped in an ill-fated love. Seung Yu and Se Ryeong went through hell and more; and they're not stupid teenagers who ended up killing themselves! How awesome is that. They're a smart and gorgeous pair of young adults who, because of evil circumstances, had their just-budding love slowly die under the greater forces of politics, family loyalty and personal morals. Off the top of my head, I really can't think of a love in fiction (or otherwise) that's as painful as this.

Okay, Lymond and Philippa are pretty insane too, but I don't know, the situation didn't seem as hellish as that of Seung Yu and Se Ryeong. Lymond was being whiny and all "You don't want me. I am bad for you, a bastard son full of disgrace. I am a hunchback whelped in the gutter." and then Philippa decided to join him in the gutter; but then she's like, "I'm sorry, I've created another problem for us. I can't be with you... as a woman." And poor Lymond's all broody and not complete -- it's a lot of personal melodrama between the two of them. Which can be big issues on its own, don't get me wrong, but it seems petty when compared to the pain that Seung Yu and Se Ryeong faced. Seung Yu basically almost went off the mental edge hating her so hard and loving her so hard at the same time, because he couldn't bear it that her father killed his family. He's also driven by his integrity and need to see justice for all the wrongs. And she's all like, "I understand. So please, I don't mind if I die by your hand. I would die a thousand times if it gives you peace." LIKE SERIOUSLY, bash our hearts to bits, drama, why don't you. And Se Ryeong can't help it if she still loves her evil father, because dang it, you only have one father, no matter how evil! Even if you know your father is wrong, how do you bring yourself to kill him?


Here's the original sound track for the drama with accompanying tragic scenes of this doomed pairing.

LYMOND SPAZ (There are major spoilers ahead, if you care.)

So. I had like 2 and a half hours of sleep last night because I was reading Lymond. At first, I was reading Ringed Castle. About a quarter way through, I reached the Lymond/Guzel part, which kind of blew me away (although, yes, it's not like it's the first time I'm reading this). I remember saying to myself: Nobody can write sex like Dunnett. Haha, really. I mean, how can it seem like such beautiful prose and at the same time, be so... nyeeah, there's no other word - erotic?

Here's part of it (the paragraph before this, although written beautifully as well, was more explicit and uh... this blog was never meant to go beyond PG-13, so am excluding that):

Her needs over the years had become complex. Her passions, over the years, had found such force that one fulfillment could hardly assuage them. Couch to cushion to carpet became soft and desperate stations, moving from urging to torment to investment once again. And with an odd, detached insight, giving and withholding, exciting and loitering, he knew how to find her appetite, and force it into violence and withstand it without mercy, until she was aware of nothing in the world but her famine. And then of nothing in the world but the exquisite act which occluded it. And towards dawn hunger, fed and fed, at last allowed her to lie dispossessed in dreaming calm, satisfied.

So after reading that, I was like this @_@ and I felt a crazy impulse to just get to the Lymond/Philippa parts instead. Because hello, Lymond/Philippa is the ultimate fictional OTP. HANDS DOWN. And their love is heart-wrenching and beautiful and inspiring and ohmygod, I was desperate for beautiful quotes about their love! So, then I started flipping the pages of Ringed Castle speedily, stopping only when Lymond's and Philippa's names were spotted within a page of each other and scanning for the good parts and devouring them.

And when I reached the last page of Ringed Castle, I still wasn't satisfied and so I traipsed down to the bookshelves at 4 am to get the next volume - Checkmate - and continue my quest for Lymond/Philippa. My eyes were almost burning from tiredness actually, but I was caught in some crazy OTP fever or something and couldn't stop. And oh god, Checkmate is awesome for the love quotes. When I read the part where Philippa realises she loves Lymond but cannot dream of being with him (thinking he loves Guzel, and his adamancy about returning to Russia, among one million other reasons), I wanted to cry. It was heartbreaking.

Subconsciously, she had divined what he might be. That night, turned upon herself and not outward to others, the elements of his identity had been delivered to her, served upon gold, as the bread and meat and wine of a festival.

For an hour, blended with all she could offer, something noble had been created which had nothing to do with the physical world. And from the turn of his throat, the warmth of his hair, the strong, slender sinews of the hands, something further; which had. Though she combed the earth and searched through the smoke of the galaxies there was no being she wanted but this, who was not and should not be for Philippa Somerville.

Backtracking to Ringed Castle: Lymond's falling in love with Philippa is even more precious. Because he'd been so horrid to her, in my opinion (haha, I was already rooting for them and I love Philippa to bits), when he fell in love with her, I was like, 'HAH! Serve you right! You love her, now whatchoo gonna do!' XD I love how he thought he was completely invulnerable against such fluffy emotions, so that when love happened, he was utterly shocked with himself. Fantastic. Here's the part where Philippa gets knocked unconscious at the House of Revels and Lymond had to bring her back to Lady Dormer's.

He looked at her. The long, brown hair; the pure skin of youth; the closed brown eyes, their lashes artfully stained; the obstinate chin; the definite nose, its nostrils curled. The lips, lightly tinted, and the corners deepened, even sleeping, with the remembrance of sardonic joy... The soft, severe lips.

And deep within him, missing its accustomed tread, his heart paused and gave one single stroke, as if on an anvil.

And to finish, the best ever line to substitute 'and they lived happily ever after':

'We have reached the open sea, with some charts; and the firmament.'

Doesn't that simple line just describe the boundless future for Lymond and Philippa at the end of the series? Oh, Dunnett, you genius and gift to the literary world. I am in constant awe of you.

I don't know why I'm doing this. I don't know why I'm awake at such an ungodly hour - 2 am - during the supposed exam week, for god's sake. And it's not like I'm watching a drama or reading nice fics (although I did find a good one... that turned SLASH into the third chapter, so I had to bail out. -_-") or keeping myself otherwise obsessed. I'm simply refusing to sleep and staying awake wiki-ing silly things like Hokkaido (or Ezogashima as it used to be called in 17th-Century Japan) and googling blogs for yamapi, maki, kurosagi, myself and now Lymond. (I recently discovered the wonders of google blogsearch. I concede; google rocks.)

LYMOND PIMP POST (Click here to know more about Lymond.)

It is such a wonder to read about other Lymond fans. Because Lymond is such an inaccessible book for people who can't endure small font, 500-page novels, incomprehensible references and dialogue riddled with French and Spanish, Lymond is always understated. I always feel like nobody knows it enough when dang it, it should be acknowledged as one of the best book series ever created, alongside the likes of HP. Actually, I don't think they're even comparable because they're not all alike in genre, nor in intensity. While Rowling awes people with the over decade-long research she invested to create the world of wizards and muggles, her work still seems dwarfed to what I know Dunnett went through to create Lymond. Dunnett lived in the age of typewriters, before the advent of the internet, and she kept stacks of notes about Lymond and had over 500 books in a private library for research (correct me if I'm wrong). I mean, Dunnett travelled to Turkey to visit the Topkapi palace for her book! Talk about dedication. Talk about authenticity. Talk about the creation of an absolute masterpiece. Her work is inspiring. And we're not talking about a fantasy genre here --- this is historical fiction; one of the toughest genres to succeed in, I think. Because while you want to create an exciting story, you still have to stay true to history. It is no mean feat.

I don't think there's any other work of fiction I reserve such reverence for. While I love HP to bits, it doesn't quite give me the same feeling of awe. And while HP's world is rich and beautifully detailed, nothing can compare to the feeling of anticipation of rereading the complicated series that is the Lymond Chronicles. Yes, rereading. Because the story is so complex and so deeply intricate, that there are still layers of secrets yet to be understood by readers. Every new read offers a new experience, a new level of understanding and new insight. It is that fascinating. AND MY - the political intrigue. Droolworthy. (Not to mention Lymond himself. Ahak, how could I forget.) And the beautiful prose and dialogue. I swear, Lymond quotes are part of my 'important axioms of life'.

A sample: "Lack of genius never held anyone back, Only resentment and daydreaming can do that."

Anyway, what sparked off this Lymond rave was finding this lady's blog, who had somewhat the same reaction as me when reading the 4th book, Pawn in Frankincense.

I quote (Link here):

This is embarrassing to admit, but at one point, I screamed “Traitor!,” threw the book across the room, and began wailing in grief. My bewildered husband tried to comfort me, saying “But it’s only a story.” Only a story? For the past six weeks, it had been my life.

:DDDDD Raise your hand if you've flung a Lymond book before! HAHA. I have! And I shall never forget it because, hello, flinging books?!?!?! Never happened before Lymond! It is mad. But Dunnett is more genius than human, or something, I'm guessing. I remember, I was sprawled in bed, face stuck in book, then that horrible part in the book happened, and I cried out and threw the book over the edge of the bed and sat horrified in bed, with tears streaming. I didn't wail, haha, but I was crying a mad amount.

If you've reached this far in my entry, congratulations! Are you convinced about this book? It is a reading experience not to be missed, please. If you're looking for a book to get into over a nice holiday break, keep Lymond in mind. (Forget Twilight! Read Lymond! Btw, how is it not nuts that the Twilight movie raked in 70 million USD in the opening weekend?!?!?! O.o That's almost three times the amount that Quantum Solace made. God.)

And oh god. This overly long entry just proves how much of a biblio-geek I am. The extent of love I have for imaginary things and inanimate objects is quite boggling. I have much love to share, apparently. Don't worry, I love people to bits too. I just don't pimp about them here. 8D Maybe I should; oh wouldn't that be fun.