"Don't harass the woman!" Kamaliazad said, presumably in my defense.
"You do read fiction, though, don't you, Miss Farrokhzad?" said Javadi, amused behind his spectacles.
"Of course--"
"Then perhaps you can tell us your opinion of a recently published work."
"Which one?"
"The Void. Do you know it?"
I was worried he'd bring up an unfamiliar title, but I recognized this one immediately. Touted as the season's must-read, the story wasn't even a story. It was an obscure and rambling philosophical meditation, the work of some pretentious hack whose name I couldn't recall.
I turned to Javadi. "While I haven't had the opportunity to attend university or familiarize myself with foreign films, I've always thought that in a work of art the audience matters much more than the artist. The Void fails on that count."
"Do tell us more, Miss Farrokhzad," Kamaliazad urged.
"Well," I started, "it seems to me the only point of that story was to prove the reader's stupidity, and to me that's an arrogant and hollow gesture."
A strange silence fell over the group. "Mr Javadi," said Kamaliazad, addressing the man in the round spectacles, "you must thank this young lady for offering you such an honest critique of your work."
I looked at Kamaliazad, then at Javadi, desperate to know if this was a joke. It wasn't.
"I'll forgo the thanks," Javadi said, his eyes locked on mine, "but I do have a question for you, Miss Farrokhzad."
My face burned. "Yes?"
"What if people are stupid?"
"I beg your pardon?"
"Let me put it this way: Should an artist reduce himself to the lowest level of intelligence of the people around him -- or indeed of those in front of him?"
The hostility of these last words erased my embarrassment. "By insulting people's intelligence you lose any chance to educate them, and in refusing the validity of their perspective you've denied yourself the main purpose of making art."
It was Darius Golshiri who spoke next. "Which is what?" he asked.
"You surely have your own theories, Mr Golshiri."
"But if you were to say, Miss Forrakhzad?"
"Connection," I said. "Not just between one idea and another, but between people."
-- Song of a Captive Bird, Jasmin Darznik
---
That bit I read today really struck me, on different counts.
I'm actually incredibly sleepy at the moment and I have almost zero energy to organize any prose:
*Changing habits is such a difficult process. And after my month-long break from my routine, I feel myself settling back into the same undesirable patterns again. Perseverance is a virtue I hope I can cultivate.
*I'm also trying to cultivate a growth mindset. I think I've grown and lived all my life with more of a fixed mindset and it's quite a miracle that I've managed to be financially independent and sustain a career despite this, Alhamdulillah.
*I'm trying to create flow states in my everyday life. That is how we derive enjoyment from life. (read Flow by Mihaly C.)
*In recent times I seem to have distilled for myself the essentials of certain things in life: authenticity, for instance, is key to a clear conscience and a happy life. You don't necessarily have to tell anyone else what you've understood or learnt, but you better not lie to yourself. Tell yourself. Be true to yourself. Because as Atticus Finch said, you have to live with yourself before you live with anyone else. Or you could think about the fact that God sees you, all of you. Have some modesty and don't lie. Don't pretend not to know. Don't feign ignorance. I believe this is the literal definition of kufr (i.e. often translated to ingrate, or disbeliever in Islam): to cover up (what you know). You will be held accountable for this self-deceit.
*I was right when at one point after reading The Autobiography of Malcolm X, I had observed and blogged that what created greatness in persons appeared to be sincerity, courage, discipline and wit. Whatever I've learnt and read about since then has only confirmed my initial observations. For instance, again, authenticity is what I meant by sincerity; authenticity guides you to realising your potential. Discipline, as it turns out, is what is needed to create flow states, especially in the initial stages (again, read Flow by Mihaly C.), which is so necessary to realise your authentic selves. It's all related! (My brain feels woozy and tired, I hope I don't sound so random.)
*Discipline is something I'm really struggling with right now. That's the thing I'm really, really trying to cultivate in myself at this stage in my life (better late than never, eh?)
Ja, oyasumi!
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