...part of what makes Francis so compelling and also so awful is that you understand as a reader why he does and says the things he does, even while you wish desperately that you could reach into the page and slap your hand across his mouth. He's an injured cat who lashes out when anyone tries to help him, and you know why, but oh my god cat we're just trying to help you. I kept thinking of a lion with a thorn in its paw who would rather die of infection than let anyone close enough to him to take it out.
He can't deal with the reality that his mother either isn't his real mother or slept with someone who wasn't her husband, but it's much more difficult to freeze your heart when you're not in Russia.
oh my god cat, we're just trying to help you. hahaha absolutely love this line.
The older I get, the more I discover how much pain there can be in life. It's just that, I really get it now, I thought I already did, the impulse to want to freeze and numb yourself because the pain you experience is just too much. And I'm thinking, goodness S; how are you going to handle more of life in the future, if it already hurts this much? /God, help me level up, please./
And I get and understand that when you really, really, really hurt, it's very hard to be nice to other people. It's very hard not to be consumed by your own pain. I think this is how villains are made, actually. And that's the work isn't it: to fight against the easy, vindictive escape route.
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