picture in my mind

I am in one of those nostalgic moods and reading some old stuff; like this poem that I saved from Jiawen's old LJ layout. <3

It's the heart, afraid of breaking, 
That never learns to dance. 
It's the dream, afraid of waking, 
That never takes a chance. 
It's the one who won't be taken, 
Who cannot seem to give. 
And the soul, afraid of dyin', 
That never learns to live.

I think that as I grow older, I realise more and more how strange life is. I don't have the energy right now to tease apart the reasons why I think so, but I really think it is strange. Hmmm. How, for instance, our younger versions agonize over things that wouldn't matter 10 years down the road, say. We so often get stuck in moments in time and forget to look at the big picture, and if we would only just step back a bit more... I think that if I live to 90 (like my awesome granny!) and my brain can still function lucidly, I'd probably reflect back on the younger versions of myself and laugh and laugh. But I also hope that I'd feel proud of my younger self; that with what little knowledge I had, I tried my best. And I hope the climb up doesn't stop.

I'm reminded of something I read about the concept of happiness. There's the happy you feel in the moment; the kind where you're having an enjoyable time with friends and family or watching a wonderful movie or being tickled by a friend's joke. Then there's the other kind of necessary happy; the kind where you look back on your life and you love yourself. I think it's probably related to Aristotle's concept of happiness; which is virtue and excellence. That you've lived your life by some sort of system. The Islamic concept too, of course. Which is that happiness is success in the afterlife; that yes, you can feel happy in this world, but you don't attain happiness until it's all over. It's an intriguing distinction.