picture in my mind

A dangerously rambly post.

Nothing much new happening. But life is good. I find myself surprised at this. Because I used to be a lot more affected by the state of my schoolwork and by petty insecurities. If it's bad, then life is bad. Right now, schoolwork is not all great, but I still feel life is good at the moment. :) yay.

Strangely enough though, I had a dream last night, that brought back all my old fears. And I remember crying my heart out the way I don't allow myself to in real life, but then I woke up... and I still felt okay. Which seriously puzzled me. It's like, logically, my brain is saying I should be upset. But I'm not! @.@ I am weirded out by myself. What more everyone else. Hm.

I wonder if this is what being adult really means. I don't know. Okay, introspection is tiring. I should stop.

Okay, so what's been happening...

Last night, we had a family dinner. Just the five of us. It was nice. And okay, so my brother and mum and myself were bickering in the carpark all the way to Earl Swensen's at T3, but it still felt nice, because I don't know, it felt normal. It felt so homely. My brother just got back from his Gold Coast trip with Hussein and Hefni where they snorkled and kayaked and rode roller coasters, and brought back Billabong flip-flops for me and sis.

Also, we celebrated the first night of Maulud-ur Rasul on Thursday. I skipped Human Relations class, had a quick bite of sandwich with Eunice and then went to Abang Yan's place to read Maulud Nasr together with everyone. And we had nasi sambal goreng and ice cream and yoghurt. :) Although I was super damn tired, it was a good night.

Today, I had APEX as usual but we had a one-on-one session, instead of Sarah taking charge of Math and me taking charge of English. And when I tutored Suhaili personally, I felt myself morphing into my mum. Or what my memory of her was when she used to teach me and my siblings when we were small. I got increasingly impatient with Suhaili at her inability to grasp simple concepts at Primary 6! Primary 6 okay! Going to sit for PSLE already. I had to consciously lower my voice and stay calm. God, I want them to do well. -_- It's so frustrating sometimes. And it's unbearably frustrating how it gets reinforced every APEX session how exams destroy learning. I can't stand it. All the kids are concerned about is getting answers right, not understanding concepts. Although yes, I study for exams too, I don't think I've ever lost my fascination about learning anything new. And just. It appalls me when people behave otherwise. And at the tender age of 12 too. Kid, you have years to go.

Wow, this has been quite a ramble.

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A not-so-quick spaz!: Maki has a new show coming in April (^o^) called Atashinchi no Danshi, where she acts as a homeless girl and then gets married to an extremely rich old man, who pitited her and took her in. But the man dies real quick, haha, and she has to live and deal with his six adopted sons (possible heirs to the fortune) who are all apparently, hot ikemen. :P OMG. I am so seriously excited for this show, you have no idea. And most of all, they haven't revealed who these 6 guys are and it is almost literally killing me! And now I hear, they are going to reveal the cast for the 6 guys one at a time from 13th to 17th March. #$&%^#$&^*&^!!!! It's real torture, man! XD And all the speculations are hilarious! People are saying, wouldn't it be great if it was the entire of NEWS? HAHA, I wish! Or Kat-tun. Or Arashi plus one (Toma, anyone?)? And the strangest thing is this unanimous and persistent wish for Ryo to be in the show, no matter what. In contrast, although fans mostly hope for Yamapi, there is this general resignation that it'd be too good to be true (haha XD) and Pi probably wouldn't ever take a supporting role now anyway (not ever since he became a demigod in entertainment), so people don't talk about Pi at all! I almost feel like all fans know not to jinx Pi by talking too much about him or bring our hopes up in any way.

Whatever. Yamapi or not, this show is already making me super-duper excited. :))))))

Although, my god, I miss NEWS so much. Of all of JE, I think they have the least things going on at the moment! Am listening to JEPCast for the first time in ages (these girls are hilarious! "Mayonaka no Shadow Boy, that cherry song?" HAHAHAHA.) and the NEWS segment is always so short O.o! I miss them. Haiyah. Arashi has soooo many things happening, and while yes, I adore them too for they are my second favourite, I resent that NEWS has like a crazily lax schedule. Nyah.

Also, omg, Kami and a few of them saw Sho in person!!! >.< SIGH. I don't need a fangirl flailing session now. I have a test on monday!