Thursday, November 30, 2006

My brother has been cleaning up his room and as a result the whole house is chaos. What he does is scoop all manner of things into black garbage bags and dumps them at our balcony. The moment I peek into one of the bags, I find something worth keeping. The first thing I found was our old nail clipper that my mum had complained was missing. Today I collected: a whole stack of past year papers for our cousin who has yet to take the As, my GP RJ Bulls, literature guides on To Kill A Mockingbird and Shakespeare, a magnetic chess travel set and the brochures to the ivy leagues (which made my heart ache).

Why is it some people lack sentimentality.

I look through Princeton In Brief and immediately feel like bashing self up. Or do something so I don't feel like... this.

95 percent of the Class of 2008 were in the top 10 percent of their high school classes.

I just feel frustrated.

And Carnegie Mellon actually has a Bachelor of Science and Arts course on Biological Sciences and Psychology. Why am I so dumb and didn't check this out. I can't take the pain.

So stupid. And I took the SATs twice for nothing. Really, man. Urge to hurt self is becoming irresistable. The stupid things I do. About everything. Feel like I can't breathe when I think of my past stupidities. Eeeyaaaah.

If only I had remained ignorant, maybe I'd be happier.

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