Can't take it. My tongue is inconceivably numb. Why am I so slow to speak. It's like there's an exceptionally long synapse between my brain and tongue. Can't stand it! Even Mudaris said something along those lines. I can understand things fast but my progress of speech is otherwise. Maybe I should just remain passive, and write and type all my life.
But then I scream at the kids. My throat has barely recuperated and it's already straining once again. I swear, these kids are psychotic. Collectively, they are a bunch of monsters. I don't understand why they must yell, and not speak. I brought a P1 class to the eco garden today, and they run around like it's the zoo. My heart was in my throat half the time for fear some of them might fall into the pond, and kill themselves and the fishes in the process. The bridge over the pond was a tiny platform and close to ten of them were shoving each other on it. I was screaming 'Move! Move!' and waving my arms like a mad woman.
But individually, they are lovable. At the end of the day, this P2 girl called Bella came running to me and hugged me out of the blue, and said 'Teacher, I love you!' The first word that popped into my head: NUTS. But then, what else could I do but say 'I love you too' in response. And then I got a nice Get Well Card yesterday and a red pen from one of the P5s. They can be adorable.
The favourite questions the students ask me are:
Teacher, why you so short ah?
I narrow my eyes and say, 'Does it matter?' And they just grin stupidly. You little nincompoop. If I knew why, I wouldn't be this way.
Teacher, how old are you?
If I feel like it, I tell them. Then they'll be all 'Wah... Still young.' How old do they think they are, 63?
Teacher, when are you getting married?
When I first encountered this, I was @_@. You would think kids have more on their minds. I say, 'Not yet.' And give them a look, and they grin sheepishly, again.
Teacher, can I go toilet?
Absolute favourite. For P1s, when someone asks and I consent, four more will pop up simultaneously claiming they have urgent business. This especially gets on my nerves. And then I'll announce that no one goes to the toilet.
Teacher, I tell you something?
If I'm somehow free and patient, I say 'What?' And then I'll almost always regret it. Most will start complaining about how his friend punched him in the face or any other body part, others will launch into some long-winded pointless story (lower primary). After the first sentence, the urge to roll eyes or laugh hysterically is sometimes unbearable.
Teaching is such a mix of everything. Now I have to stop blogging and go make some potato prints for P3 art tomorrow. They will most definitely forget to bring what I told them.
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