Friday, October 14, 2005

Had farewell today. To start off, it was a pretty chaotic morning. Was going frantically about collecting prelim papers and then was almost literally shoved into position of going up onto stage. When I was settling down after the brief panic of looking for a tie and trying to find seat CA 27, I had time to think about what I had to do. And the only qualm I had about going on stage to get the certs was that my principal, nice as he is, can only make me look utterly bad with all his 2 metre glory. But then I realised - I don't care anymore. I really don't. I have finally crossed that barrier. I feel so happy and liberated. I don't think anyone jabbing at this issue can make me feel sad, disappointed, upset or anything anymore. Not my family, not my friends, not anybody. And if the whole point of my having to go on stage was to realise this, then I'm glad I did.

So today meant something to me, personally. A stepping stone.

And as if to prove myself on this point, when Heng Liang (OG mate who sat next to me) complained I was too short cause his arms were bent weirdly around my shoulders when we were singing, I merely rolled my eyes and said 'I'm sorry!' sarcastically. It was no longer pretend. It was real.

I suppose no one can really understand my being so petty. Hey, I don't expect anyone to.

Anyway, I thought Mr Hodge's speech, and Jia Lun's speech and Ms Lo's apple story were all nice and memorable. Almost teared at some parts.

On other matters: there is a cockroach in my house kitchen. And there has been two human encounters. Once it was with my sis and once with me. And my feet immediately cringe upon my stepping on the kitchen tiles. Breathing rate increases too. Reflex action. You have no idea how these gross creatures have tormented my childhood.

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