picture in my mind

It's such a trying time, personally and collectively,
and I've been consulting my books as I'm wont to do.


Skill 13: Keeping Higher Self in Charge

At the highest level, Level 5, this mastery becomes habitual, no longer requiring the kind of effort it may have taken at lower levels of development. My Higher Self "muscle" has been developed by consistent daily practice for a long time -- it is now a habit. Higher Self is in charge, even in profoundly trying times or under pressure from "group think". Because of your consistent daily practice,  Higher Self is like a muscle that has become strong and toned, making you prepared even for challenging times and pressured situations, or moments of fear, sadness, tiredness, and other emotions that would previously have triggered egoic responses. Of course, we are all human, so we may never get to the point where Higher Self is in charge 100% of the time, but a spiritually intelligent person who has worked hard on this skill is someone who can be counted on, even in bad times, to be choosing and acting on the very best part of themselves.

...

"Not being able to govern events, I govern myself," wrote Michel de Montaigne. That is a spiritually intelligent approach. We cannot control the majority of the events in our lives. But we can control our responses. And the way we do that is by creating space between the things that happen to us and our reactions to them. When we are running on autopilot, we are not even aware of any space. There is just stimulus and response. But as we increase our awareness we become conscious of the tiny space that is already there and, most importantly, we can learn to increase that space. I call this "inserting a pause". It's the pause that contains your power. If there is no pause, you have no power. When you insert the pause, you create enough space between stimulus and response to be able to say, "Who is running the show here? Is my ego running the show or is there a wiser way that my Higher Self can handle this?"

-- SQ21: The Twenty-One Skills of Spiritual Intelligence, by Cindy Wigglesworth

It's so hard to stay on course
and not be derailed by the upsetting events of life,
the wobble the ego goes through...

Ganbarimasu! I'm climbing a mountain, and I can't see the top,
nor do I know where this path leads. I just walk, and keep walking,
and keep walking, trusting the need to walk and move, or rest when I need to,
but again forwards, onwards, always; transmuting pain into fuel for the journey.


oh my, it was good to write that out.
I forget how wonderful a process writing has always been for me.
Cleanse and release, S!

---

Speaking of the ego, I'm reminded of the upcoming BTS comeback! yayyy.

absolutely looking forward to a continuation of their Map of the Soul series.

I love how they delve into discussions of inner torments and emotional conflicts,

and present it all so beautifully, as in a dance like this:

so apparently some smarter fans have interpreted that this stage is in the unconscious, 

and black swans are the shadow in the psyche obviously, 

while the water surface they're dancing on 

is the barrier between the conscious and unconscious.

Ocean with all light silenced shut
My wandering feet held in a rut
Every noise and sound's been cut
Killing me now, killing me now,
Do you hear me

Sinking slowly like in a trance
Struggle but it's all ocean floor
Every moment becomes eternity


Fight your shadows, friends!
The other side of our consciousness are always these lurking fears
that stop us from embracing the positive and the good and the brave.

---

Save us from what our own hands might do;

lift the veil, but do not tear it.

Save us from the ego; its knife has reached our bones.

Who but You will break these chains?

Let us turn from ourselves to You

Who are nearer to us than ourselves.

Even this prayer is Your gift to us.

How else has a rose garden grown from these ashes?

-- Rumi, Mathnawi II: 2443-49