it's 2019!
let's start the year with wise words
from this awesome lady:
Been thinking about how much of a sap I am, in the sense that I cry so easily, it's almost like a leaky tap. You could just nudge me (metaphorically) and you'd have trouble screwing shut the waterworks. This was so unbearably apparent especially when I had my brief spiritual retreat in December, and I would cry over seemingly the littlest, most mundane things. We would speak and share things in a fellowship meeting and anybody's tears almost guarantees my tears; and when I speak I devolve into a complete mess. You'd think it's an ability of sorts to feel what someone else feels, and cry easily (I could probably act very well if I put my mind to it). But the way I am, I am more often horrified and embarrassed. People would cry over their problems and I'd end up crying more crazily than them and it gets embarrassing??? Hahaha. And people would sometimes wonder if I had a similar problem or something. Sometimes yes, I suppose, but mostly... no?
When one of my colleagues broke up years ago and she was hiding, weeping, in her clinic room, I went to talk to her and started crying myself, and had to apologise for it -- because why am I crying??? HAHA. It's ridiculous. I appreciate that I empathise well, but sometimes, other people's feelings overwhelm me and my own feelings overwhelm me and why am I processing this for everybody, it's exhausting. Goodness, creating boundaries is hard. I go to extremes: either your feelings flood me entirely or I shut you down, you're out of my space. I cannot deal! I'm trying to build my essential self and develop that wisdom that is able to step back from my live wire, but my God, this is a lifelong struggle, I feel.
May this year be fruitful, beautiful, and full of happy surprises.
God, I need them, thank You.
---
Integrity, the kind that meets the demands of reality, is character that can handle another person's not being all someone needs that person to be. By moving as a positive force that is "for" the other person's getting better, as opposed to moving against him or disengaging because he isn't, the person leverages him to a higher level. As a result, these people do not get dragged down by other people's failures, but are a force of redemption in any situation, bringing it to a higher level. That translates into a relationship being healed in one's personal life, or a company getting turned around in one's business life. Either way, his or her character has been a force "for" the good of the other, even when no one made her do it. And that is why when you look at the long-term wake of this kind of person, you find long-term, successful relationships and work scenarios. When troublesome realities come along, his or her character was able to meet those demands and be a redemptive force.
-- Integrity: The Courage to Meet the Demands of Reality, by Dr Henry Cloud
This reminds me of what was mentioned in Arabic class last Sunday, when Mudaris talked about the difference between the soleh (the good) person, and the muslih (the good one who influences others to goodness). And isn't the best at this the Prophet s.a.w., whose very being influenced all sorts of goodness? ❤
Ganbatte, S!
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