It was out of the blue, but I suddenly thought of our story, the chain-story that we birds did throughout sec 3 and 4 and a little bit into JC. And a pang of sadness just hit me. I almost wanted to start crying. Hell, I feel like tearing now. It's just, I feel so inexplicably old. Like I've lost that part of my youth, maybe forever, and I miss it so much. And I miss, I don't know, something.
I bet most other people would recall their school life being that much more exciting than mine; I've always shunned the spotlight as much as I could. But I did have fun, in my own small ways. And I wish now I'd relished it more. Right now, I feel like.. I'm saying goodbye. And it's making me all despondent.
I suppose I'm not making sense.
Now that I'm facing my twenties, I feel like I'm preparing for battle. So much to do, and chase after, and worst of all, expectations to meet. I keep telling myself that if I reach thirty with chin up, I'll go celebrate big and sujud syukur. The fact is that, while I try hard to stay strong, and walk with a smile, and with a spring in my step, half the time, I'm just so crappily scared. Once again - potion for courage, where art thou? Maybe everyone feels a little like this, eh.
I pray, I hope.
So anyway, because I am a geek, I have to report on programming. For today's sit-in lab, I ALMOST GOT IT. I ALMOST DID. I swear. But then I realised I missed out something last minute, and so, the output was kinda wrong! :( If there was say half an hour left, I'm sure it could have been done perfectly. geram! But at least, I know now I'm getting better at this. The last take home lab scored a 95%. yoshi! (I'm still having a jap phase.)
Duck and Pigey coming back next week! something to look forward to. (:
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