C++ midterm. ABSOLUTE NIGHTMARE. The MCQs were hard but at least, you know, they were MCQs. But the open-ended - @_@. Really. I was holding my head in my hands and audibly telling myself not to panic, okay. It was reminiscent of RJ chem papers! LIKE DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO EVERYTHING. I was seriously hyper-ventilating. (I really wonder if taking up this module is shortening my lifespan in some way.) But amidst the panic, there was boiling rage.
When they said pencils down, I really felt like screaming, "Wtf kind of paper is this!!!" Damn angry ah. Unreasonable questions in unreasonably short time period! EESH.
Recently, I've had another epiphany (eheh, I like to call them that). I've had some hormonal revival or something. I've decided to be less of a depressed whacko, and lo and behold, I think I somehow am managing better. Like I'll be horribly upset about something, but it won't be long before I actually feel bouncy and happy again. Like actually, BOUNCY! (Okay, I sound nuts.) It's cause I make myself think of all the good things that I do have and I realise that I am happy about a lot of things, and so I slowly crawl out of my gloom.
I think I'm starting to sound really incoherent; but the essence is: I realise I'm happy, at the most basic, that I'm actually alive to feel all these ups and downs. I'm happy that I can wake up every morning. I'm happy that I still have my parents. I'm happy for my sister. Also my brother. Also my best friend, Eunice. Also for birds and mumu and jw and all my other friends. Also for all those people I've had the privilege to meet, or love, or hate. Also for my crazy but beloved obsessions.
And thinking in this manner just immediately trivialises whatever silly thing I was fussing about. And I can believe somehow, things will be all right. kudos to newfound perspective!
Current obsession: jap dramas. Manga adaptations are so so good. Watching Gokusen now. so cute lah.
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