I wanted to paste a hari raya pic! Cause I didn't write anything at all about raya here... This is at Babawok's (granny's) house on the first day. The bedroom became a changing room and also a studio where Abah tied the sarban for all my uncles and boy cousins, and cameras kept flashing. Haha. I couldn't study at all. Recall reading just one page of chemistry.

Had Physics S paper today. Feel distinction is out of reach. Please, please let it still be possible! S papers - they just make me feel like banging head against wall repeatedly.

Been addicted to Dia, indonesian soap opera. One and a half hour of it every single weekday. Am becoming seriously obsessed. It's stupid really. Nothing good happens and the characters just keep getting hurt. So frustrating. There have been two accidents and two young healthy men have died. 3 marriages are crumbling, parents of the characters are dying and two people are going to end up in asylum. Haha. It's a mad story. But you know how series are... You get addicted to the characters. Plot gets flushed down the drain but still you watch.

I was thinking about being 'on the boundaries' the other day. What I mean by this, is being close enough to something else that is not your world so that you can appreciate what you possess better. For instance, like being rich. Wealthy people need to see how it is to not have luxury to be happy with the money that they have. And intelligent people need to see less fortunate individuals to be thankful with what they've been given. And I'm happy because as far as I know, I've had the experience of being on the boundary for almost every aspect I can think of. I'm not saying my family was broke last year or anything, but at least I have been exposed, you know? I'm thankful that my parents have shown me such things. Yes, everyone knows there are starving people in the world. But knowing is different from seeing, and seeing different from helping or reaching out, and all these entirely different from the experience itself.

For instance, for me, there's Pakcik Mail. A family friend in Kelantan, who has a family of what, 13 kids? And all he does is grow fruits (mangosteens, durians and rambutans) and drive a van. And he's happy. His family lives a simple life. And I've been to their kampung house a number of times since I was 11, and I've always loved it. From them is how I know a life of simplicity. One should always endeavour to venture to the other side to see if there is greener grass elsewhere, or to just simply appreciate different kinds of grass. Haha.

I should be studying for bio... But msn is distracting. Conspiracies arise. I was reading HBP recently and came across Luna's Rotfang conspiracy again and burst out laughing! Gosh, she is hilarious. Bring down the ministry with magic and gum disease indeed.

It's been raining all day. And somehow, it doesn't feel quite like Singapore. The weather plays a big role, it seems. I stepped out onto the balcony this morning and it was cold. The tiles were especially cold. And we didn't switch on any fans. Feels nice.

Freaking out about S papers. I look at Bio and just go @_@. Everytime, I sort of try to pick out which topics I will mug, but then realise that I need to mug about at least five things in depth to be safe. It just makes me want to growl. So frustrating.

No mood to blog. Or mug. Or do anything. Zonked out I am.

I am a nincompoop.

Sigh.

3 days down.

Having sporadic nervous breakdowns. I'll not know how to do a math question and then whine about it endlessly, and go into minor depression (on top of an already, seemingly, perpetual morose state).

On a lighter note, finished reading DV 16. (Might have spoilers, beware. Just in case you read it.) I must say that I expected more powwow from it. Okay, I'm happy that a happy ending is in prospect, but it didn't have the emotional impact that I always hope to get from good stories. I think Cassie's talent lies more in her development of character (which is so fantastic that numerous people love her Draco despite how disgusting a character he is in canon) but not in her plot endings. Her wrap-ups do not live up to her standard. I think, even in DS, the ending was pretty abrupt, and like all 'Huh, that's it? Okay...' But overall, the story's still pretty good, and extremely exciting. And Draco said a line that made me squeal and chuckle at the same time. The part where Ginny asked why he kissed her when she was sleeping, and he replied: 'I was confusing the issue.' Hah! That, I say, is so Cassie's Draco.

Back to reality, I still have loads to memorise. And now that I've seen how the bio paper looks like, I am, simply put, terrified. I really wish Hari Raya was after all this crap, so I can enjoy myself tomorrow.

FINALLY. DT update! Yay.

Anyway, helped make ketupats today and watched loads of tv while helping out and did very minimal math. Feel guilty, but sort of happy too. Because helping out makes me feel the hari raya mood. And god, how I wish I could enjoy it to my heart's content. Been watching more malay tv shows too. Watched 'Gila-gila Pengantin Remaja' which was ridiculous, but entertaining. (Where Zed Zaidi was the bad, arrogant guy. Aw.) And watched Cinta Madinah for the last two nights. (Wardinah is so superbly pretty, I can't stand it.)

Am wondering how to wish everyone I know hari raya and ask for forgiveness without it seeming fake and obligatory instead of sincere.