Sunday, October 09, 2005

Lately, I feel like everything I write is being exposed to more pairs of eyes than I intended. My intuition proved true! Hah. I discovered only yesterday that more family members have stumbled upon this place. Ah well. This is the web and people can come and go as they please. There's nothing wrong with having a greater audience. I merely miss my old days of obscurity, when I could count my readers on one hand. And I can't say that now I write with the same lack of inhibition. I spend more time pondering my sentences and backspace a hundred times more frequently than I used to. And have regrettably deleted heartfelt outpourings after much thought. I could, like others have, abandon my blog upon the shocking revelation of unwonted readers, but then, guess what? I like this place; I like this little bit of space I have in the cyberworld and I have, without initial plan or intention, kept this place for more than 3 years. It's grown on me. And unlike my written diaries, it has no limit: I won't ever have to come to the end of the last page and say goodbye to a precious book. And guess what else? - There is a certain thrill in knowing people read your words. Granted, I sacrifice certain topics of discussion, but I have never stupidly gossiped, bad-mouthed anyone or revealed my deepest secrets here anyway. So what's there to lose?

Moving on: The more I think about it, the more certain I am that I went completely off topic for my SAT essay yesterday and will get a 3 and below. Gah. I badly want to do well.

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