Wednesday, December 03, 2003

The worst kind of feeling is... confusion. Feeling confused is worse than feeling depressed. Because if you feel depressed, at least you can pinpoint the reason why you're so and try to get over it. Unless of course you feel depressed AND confused. Now, that's a major problem.

When I get confused, I get angry as well. I have no idea what to do. Normally, I feel like screaming or crying. Then I'll just lay on my back on my bed and stare at the ceiling, wishing that things could be different. Or I'll just try to detach myself from my problems and think about other things - things that have nothing to do with me. Like stories or books or movies. So that I can forget about the issue that's making me confused.

Being idle is bad for your mental health, I think. Once I have nothing to do, like today, I'll start thinking about big questions and looking at big pictures and wonder why I do certain useless things. Then I'll start getting confused. Then I'll lie on my bed, like I said, and try to forget about it.

Isn't all of these very confusing?

My handphone is beeping endlessly. Incoming SMS. Wonder why...

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