These days, I can't read the newspapers without rolling my eyes or just getting myself all riled up.

For instance, this Al Qaeda and Yemen issue -- can I say, Here we go again? I don't trust anything that comes out of US intelligence; actually, I especially don't trust anything that comes out of US intelligence. Lies. All lies. I can't watch CNN without feeling like the word EVIL is plastered all over the screen.

It makes my blood boil. All the media needs to do, is just make a little mention of a certain country and the name of a terrorist group (which is quite possibly a big lie as well). Just, you know, mention those two names in the same sentence or the same paragraph even, and then everyone else makes a hoo-haa and soon enough, it becomes accepted fact among the blind, ignorant masses -- because you know, TV is God, and what the TV says is true. That's how powerful and potentially corrupt the media is. And the poor innocent people in Yemen are clueless. These stupid Americans from a country far away making claims about a place they know nothing about.

Yemen of course hits a soft spot with me because, not only is it the place of my ancestral roots, but it is a place that Rasulullah s.a.w. himself pointed out as blessed. Because it gave birth to some of the greatest teachers of Islam. If I'm not wrong, the hadith narrates that Rasulullah pointed his finger to Yemen and said, There is knowledge. (I think I better verify this. See below.) And I think the reason that a lot of Asian Arabs are ancestrally Yemeni Arabs is precisely because the missionaries of Islam to the east are these knowledgeable teachers from Yemen. They're part of the reason Indonesia has the biggest Muslim population in the world. (And that done without the sword, okay.)

---

Sayyiduna Abu Hurayra (Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said: “The people of Yemen have come to you. They are tender-hearted and more delicate of soul. The capacity to understand (fiqh) is of the Yemenis and wisdom is that of the Yemenis.” (Sahih al-Bukhari, no: 4129 & Sahih Muslim, no: 84)

Source here.

If US does anything stupid again, I swear I will be so angry.

Off on a little holiday to Jakarta and Bandung. :) (Brain, shut up about FYP and other worrying crap.) Will be back on the 25th.

Ja!

Happy New Year! :)

The Islamic Hijrah calendar just turned 1431.

HAHA, watch this. For real or what. I've never seen a panda sneeze.



XD

The way the mother panda was shocked - HAHAHAHAHA. She's like, What just happened???

Couldn't get back to sleep this morning because I started to freak out about my lack of any sort of progress for FYP, so then went online to get some things done.

And realised that we're going to have Chen Yu Zong again for Advanced Bioinformatics next semester. :\

At least we'll be prepared this time, although meh, I still think we're in trouble. Haha. Let my last semester be fruitful, please.

I watched this clip at Yu Jie's insistence -- so funny! This is why I love Arashi and why I love Jap variety shows. And I especially love the put-your-hand-in-the-box-and-guess-the-mystery-item game. Made me laugh so hard.



I loved it when Nino attempted to bonk Britney on the head, haha. She's seriously nuts.

Sometimes I feel sad that I'm so decent and kental (as my brother points out, I don't ever do interesting things -- oh what does he know) but other times, I'm thankful I'm decent and kental. Haha okay, I think it's too late in the night and I probably should not be blogging.

Today, went to the library to return some books and then ended up wandering around century square on my own, waiting for the rain to stop, and then I started splurging (finally got a pair of pretty shoes and a checkered shirt!) and got really scared because of the way I just do things without planning -- I started thinking about how I don't do any form of financial planning, and then I thought some more about the Malay families living in tents at beaches because they sell their houses without thinking and then become poorer for it and can't afford to buy another flat. :s Very scary. I felt like I was walking down the same road. This crazy impulsiveness.

On the way home, I amused myself by praying, Dear God, please help me be a good person without being crappy. XD I don't know where these thoughts come from, really.

Oyasumi.

About an Australian dude describing how he got into Islam, and I love the part where he talks about asking for a sign from God, and it was given in the way he least expected it. Just awesome.

It reminds me of the times I've asked for my own signs; one of the most dramatic ones was the time I sat in front of my computer blogging and being my whacked depressed self of the past, and begging God to just show me the way. And the next thing I knew, Amir Fadl's framed photograph on the wall of the stairwell, came crashing down all the way to the first floor. For no apparent rhyme or reason. A whole freaking framed photograph, okay, almost A3-sized. I remember just sitting stunned at the zen table for like a whole minute before getting up and putting the photo on the sofa so my dad could put it back later.

God works in mysterious ways. :)

I don't know whether I love or hate the fact that my knowledge of Jpop and Kpop seems to grow with no end in sight. A lot of it thanks to my sister. But THIS SONG.

Love this song. Although I'm not crazy about the rap part. But uuhhhn. Everything else is wonderful. The soulfulness and the melody and the hopeful-yet-painful lyrics.

CRAP. I finally started watching Supernatural Season 4 with my sister tonight (and it has been awesome) and then I went online because I was just kind of curious about the fandom situation these days, having never ventured there in more than a year, but then! I discovered a major spoiler. ACK. -.-

There are times I wish I could tie myself up with a rope so I don't do detrimental things to myself.

Lately, my favourite do'a has been one where I plead to God, Please protect me from my own weaknesses. Amin. And craziness. And destructiveness.

I am randomly remembering a moment in Year 1, when I went for the Muslim Society Tea (quite randomly because nothing came of it) and the members were introducing themselves, and someone said that his greatest fear was himself. Someone joked, "Oh, you look into the mirror and scream ah?" But I agreed wholeheartedly then, and I agree now.

I am going to be productive next week! Productive!

This song came on just a moment ago, and I feel happy.

I Look, I See by Yusuf Islam

I look, I look, I look, I see
I see a world of beauty
I touch, I touch, I touch, I feel
I feel a world around so real
And everything I do
I dedicate to You
Cause You made me
I am for You

I listen, listen, listen, I hear
I hear the words of God so clear
I read, I read, I read, I know
It helps my knowledge grow
And everything we do
We dedicate to You
Cause You made us
We are for You
I listen, listen, listen, I hear

He sent the Prophet to show us the way
He made Religion perfect that Day
Peace be upon him, upon him we pray
Salatullah, wa salamu alaihi

I sleep I sleep, I sleep, I dream
I dream I am in a garden green
I wish, I wish, I wish I pray
I pray to be here everyday
And everything I do
I dedicate to You
Cause You made me
I am for You

I work, I work, I work, I strive
To make something of my life
I seek, I seek, I seek, I find
I find another hill to climb
And everything we do
We dedicate to You
Cause You made us
We are for You
I look, I look, I look, I see

He sent the Prophet to show us the way
He made Religion perfect that Day
Peace be upon him, upon him we pray
Salatullah, wa salamu alaihi (x2)

I have my statistics exam in a while and I've reached a plateau of zen-ness. Although I haven't actually understood every single letter or word or mathematical equation or even actually, entire chapters, I feel like... I'm okay. And zen. Last night I was irritated by the whole thing -- by the crazy way we're meant to study these things, with no proper appreciation of concepts, I feel, and it pissed me off extremely. I actually want to understand why these formulas are such and why they work in certain ways, but I feel like we haven't been given the proper opportunity to. So little time and all the wrong lesson objectives. And if I can't properly understand and enjoy the subject, how can you make me want to study it??? Some deep part of my soul is just totally against the whole let's-just-mug-and-score-at-the-exam and maybe this is why I just can't bring myself to care enough.

And I especially hate it when I cannot see the point of a module. Like the syllabus is a mess, and doesn't seem to point to any one overarching concept.

But now, whatever, you stupid exam. Unlike you, I value knowledge. And true understanding. And I have ceased to give grades more worth than they deserve.

I was telling my sister at how zen I feel about things these days. It's kind of shocking.

Oh, Prof Miksic returned our grades for the Shipwreck essay and museum exhibit. Am a bit sad about his comments on our exhibit -- not enough depth or stg like that? :( But I don't care! I still like what we did! And it was a fun exercise and I met a V6 fan while working on it, so yay. Haha.

And my story of the monk boy scored a 75% -- considering I eked out the 10 pages within approximately 2 days, I am happy. :P I had expected loads worse. But he actually said my use of facts were pretty good but vague -- thank god for my love for historical fiction, I say, because a lot of my images of the story were shaped by Japan's Edo period in Rowland's Sano Ichiro series that I read.

---

Okay, got a paper to sit for, and then staying over at Shweta's room to work on the horrid cz project I've been neglecting.

As usual, one foot is in fandom although I'm supposed to be studying. But eeeps! Sho's and Maki's new drama (about some legal officers with clashing personalities trying to make the world a better place) is making me too excited, I can't help myself.

And I totally agree with this statement by helloyourself:

Maki + Arashi is second to Mao + Arashi for me in terms of enjoyment. Third is Becky + Arashi, because man, Nino's bitchiness when Becky gushes over Hanadan? SHEER GOLD. Really, Arashi + girl is just super awesomesauce. THERE SHOULD BE MORE ARASHI GEN HET.

HAHA. This feels good; I feel like it's been some time since fandom made me ditzy.

And I feel like helloyourself is just out to win me over, no matter what; their lines crack me up! For instance, I feel compelled to look up dbsk stuff because their gushing over Jaejoong leaves me seriously breathless with laughter:

Because when you look past the carved gorgeousness and fragility in his face and then lower to his arms of God and actually pay attention to his actions and words, you come away with the realization.....wow, you're a huge dork. And I LOVE THAT.

Witness the Jaejoong flail here.

And oh, I think I've left the Yamaki boat. It was a wonderful almost-2-years affair. Haha.

---

Okay, I am enforcing an exam hiatus on myself. Cannot lah, otherwise. Ja!

He who lives without folly is not so wise as he imagines.
~ De La Rouchafoucauld

Been trying to revive my my motivation and enthusiasm for work. I can do this, I can do this, I can do this!

I was on the train to school today and reading, and I wasn't actually reading because I kept zoning out into space every other sentence and thinking and thinking and thinking (bloody hell, I really just think too much) and then suddenly, the seat next to mine was vacated and this pakcik sits down and says, "Tengah hafal ke, termenung je?" (which kind of translates into "Are you trying to memorise, you look like you were daydreaming?")

So embarassing, please. I kind of just laughed it off and said, "No..." -- but really, I felt like disappearing into thin air. It's always kind of mortifying when someone catches me being my dreamy self. A kaypoh stranger some more.

It reminds me of the time when I was 13 and in the canteen and Stephanie Tan asked me, "Why are you staring at your bowl of noodles?" *headdesk* haha.

But okay, today, at one point during that train ride, I was thinking of how I'm going to sms Jiawen soon and tell her to plan an Arashi/JE party in her basement during the hols. wahahahaha! Please, this year has been tough. For so many different reasons. I am going to enjoy December and reflect on how I've grown.

Seishun saikou!

I finally watched Honey and Clover the movie tonight. I thought it'd make me cry; I was ready to sob my eyes out. But I didn't, although the part where Takemoto runs to the beach and starts crying was really moving; when he wonders how come the sea isn't sparkling like before and he thinks he wants to erase all the memories so it wouldn't hurt anymore. But then he decides he can't erase everything, because that would mean erasing the fact that they'd all met, that they'd all been together once, and that it was wonderful once.

The movie just made me feel content, somehow; like I'm not alone. That youth is all about making mistakes and learning and waking up every new day to stumble even more.

I swear, I think it started snowballing from this song. Duck and Arashi are to blame! :P

Finally finished my narrative essay thing and am not happy with it. :( ah well.

A week left of school. O.o

I'm so irrationally zen and relaxed about my still-unfinished assignment, part of my brain - the part that tries to keep me up to speed with the happenings of real life - is practically screaming, "Which part of 'this paper is due tomorrow' do you not understand!?" Heh. I am lacking a sense of urgency right now. It's kind of scary how not scared I am. I blame it on the jadedness of having been in this crazy education system more than half my life.

I look at my sister becoming frazzled over her geog A-level paper tomorrow and I wonder how I ever had the drive to mug hard enough for As. Right now, I feel like I can't be bothered about any of it.

I love and trust in you, Rasulullah.

---

I get irrationally happy when I understand the computer-related ones. Haha.

from xkcd.

---

I'd like to have liqa' every day; or at least more often. I do. There'd be nothing better than to look forward to sitting down with everyone at the end of a hard and tiring day, knowing that hey, this is what makes life worth it.

The sayyidat liqa' today was nice. I feel us getting closer. And it does make me forget about the transient worries of life. And Kak Haseenah said something that made me tear up; it was the same reason I was swiping tears on the way to school the other day. The thought that we managed to be here. Sad that it wasn't sooner, but overwhelmingly grateful that we've been gifted with the opportunity. I don't know how we could have lived without this before.

Indeed those who pledge to you are those who pledge to Allah, the hand of Allah is above their hands.
~ Surah Al-Fath

Whaaat am I doing, man. Really. First of all, awake at ungodly hour, not doing my 10-page essay due Monday (I am so majorly screwed), but just wasting time.

And really, whaaaat am I doing. I don't know anymore.

I am so sleepy and I will be so dead tired for tomorrow's sayyidat liqa', and still I'm not sleeping. I should sleep.

I suppose that saying I came across is true: that this is why life is a test. If it weren't a test, we'd have a full instruction manual on how to live it.

Eh, actually, we do. Just a matter of focus then.

The personal life deeply lived always expands into truths beyond itself.

~ Anais Nin

Yes, finally, new blogskin. The other one had lasted waaaay too long. I'm liking this one's wide design; more space.

I'm having a little problem with my archiving though; this place has existed since 2002 and while that fact may be awesome in itself, the posts from then may not. :P One looks back on childishness and frivolousness and boundless stupidity, and shudders. Haha.

I don't know. Ungh. Hiding my old archives only implies I have something to be ashamed of from my past, right? I don't want to be like that. Yes, I made crazy blunders and was extra mad and hyper - but I was young, and being who I was then certainly led to the me now. So, okay, I'm leaving that long list there lah. Ahak.

Can't decide if going for statistics class today is worth it at all. I should just stay home and work on my shipwreck story for USP.

There are nights I just want to sleep and not wake up. For a hundred years or something.

I keep thinking back to the night when Eunice and me had dinner and I was complaining to her about how I seemingly lack control over my own actions; and she described how we all probably have insanity somewhere inside us, strapped down, so that our sensible selves are usually the masters of our fate. I simply let insanity drive for a split second; the horror.

What I have for comfort now are only words like this:

Do you think that the things people make fools of themselves about are any less real and true than the things they behave sensibly about? They are more true: they are the only things that are true. ~ Candida (1898), George Bernard Shaw

Still, I'd choose sanity if I could.

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~ Anais Nin

Have had a crazy past few days which only started winding down at noon today. Projects all piling up and converging together. My saturday felt like the whizzing by of an express train; typing away the whole of the morning, stressing over the freaking bio project which by the way still makes very little sense to me, and rushing to school for a meeting and rushing back for liqa' at Abang Yan's place, and only finishing at midnight. Got home and started despairing over the project again but went to sleep anyway and woke up and started typing again. And finally got done at 11 am this morning.

Sometimes... in between doing all these inane daily routines and chasing deadlines, I feel like we lose our sense of self. Like we become machines or something. Doing passionless tasks, and running and running after that something; and losing sight of what's important, what's real. I think maybe some people actually enjoy the high speedy life. I personally don't. And I suppose some people actually do what they're truly passionate about, so that's wonderful. But really, how many of us do. I ask you.

I don't think I can be very coherent about my thoughts tonight, but this sketch from xkcd says a little.


Stupid, amazing worlds inside us. I like that. Like that poet, Walt Whitman, who said, "I am large. I contain multitudes."

I am very irritated with self.

I actually still have a LOT OF WORK, LIKE UNBELIEVABLE AMOUNTS OF WORK, to do, but I have this incessant need to blog. Like if my feelings bother me, I just need to let it go. And it's different from letting it go in private too, because here, at least I think someone out there might be listening and it's different from my private lj entries I know won't be seen by a single soul. It must be that 'feely' part of my MBTI personality type. So 'feely'. Or maybe it's about being a female; the need to blabber about feelings.

Oh no. I shall stop thinking about that now.

Am doing the bio functional genomics thing and I can't write without pausing after every other sentence so I don't know how I'll ever finish this on time, and if I don't stop and force myself to keep writing, I get seriously upset and I feel like I'll get a stomachache. Eeee.

Why is the last few weeks of school always hell. Everything always spins out of control or something. My fear is that when I leave school, and I go into the bio industry or stg, it'll keep being like that - crazy deadlines and endless stress. :( GAH. DON'T WANT.

I want to work in happiness, please. Because that's when creativity and ideas shine. Not this crazy let's-do-as-many-things-in-as-little-time-as-possible crap. -.-

Thank you, Arashi, for making my night! :) I laughed so hard (I've been needing some) when I watched a clip of Sho drawing a kangaroo - it was hilarious. But that clip couldn't be embedded, and I decided to post this one instead - this one makes me laugh every time. What Jun wanted his girlfriend to call him when he was younger:



The part when Nino suggests, "Jun-pon?" always cracks me up! XD

Love this one! from xkcd.

Found another Ralph Waldo Emerson quote:

It has seemed to me lately more possible than I knew, to carry a friendship greatly, on one side, without due correspondence on the other. Why should I cumber myself with regrets that the receiver is not capacious? It never troubles the sun that some of his rays fall wide and vain into ungrateful space, and only a small part on the reflecting planet. Let your greatness educate the crude and cold companion. If he is unequal, he will presently pass away; but thou art enlarged by thy own shining, and, no longer a mate for frogs and worms, dost soar and burn with the gods of the empyrean.

Aishiteru by Monkey Majik

The video is a little weird (ignore the irritating speech bubbles!) but strangely makes sense if you think hard enough. I thought it'd be more angsty or stg, seeing how the lyrics are so beautifully sad. It makes my heart weep; love it.

---

Something unrelated: my sister says I telah memalukan diri (i.e. made myself lose face, haha) for saying in a previous entry I don't know what mengandalkan means. -.- But really! Who uses it! My dad thinks a synonym for it is mengalaskan.

Okaylah, I admit defeat. My malay is just so getting from bad to worse. That's it! I will improve my mother tongue! Just you see. >:|

I think I almost died standing today, heh. Was helping out at Anugerah Mendaki (where academically excellent Malay/Muslim students are awarded prizes) from morning till late afternoon, and stood practically 95% of the time. I felt like the top half of my body was ready to be dislodged from the bottom half. :P But aside from that, I felt kind of inspired. And a bit nostalgic. Looking at the little rafflesians fresh from PSLE made me smile. The pinafores. And the green, black and white. And 13-year-old boys are tiny (yes, even to me!). And the teenage students and their frivolity. And all those JC blazers.

Then the first class honours graduates came up and were all really wow to me. It doesn't help that I've actually seen some of their full resumes, having helped at Mendaki first-hand, and known how much wow they really are. I felt a little wistful about the whole thing. Like... I know I could have stayed on the same path if I tried. Like if I mugged hard enough and battled through exams the way I'd had all my younger days, maybe my first class wouldn't be so out of reach as it is now. I don't know, somewhere along the way, I'd lost the drive. Because I'd started to think about big pictures and destinations and what the point of it all was.

And!!! :D While ushering guests in, I spotted this angmoh dude and immediately, I was like, "Eh, I've seen him!" And I realised he was Kak Filza's german husband! :DDDD (Kak Filza was the RJ senior who co-wrote the script for Laila, the drama production in which I acted as a mother.) I've always managed to bump into Kak Filza now and then. And I finally got to congratulate her when she walked past me to get to the stage. She looked very pretty in a green baju kurung. And she got a first class honours in chemistry and bio! @.@ awesome lah.

I felt a little good on the way home. Like, yes, let's ganbarimasu, Shamiah! And work hard for a 2nd Uppers miracle. And then maybe Allah and Rasul will help open doors to the future. I've finally voiced to my parents what I think I might want to do with my degree. Might, might, might - not sure yet how things are to work out. I'm going to take a stab at a speech pathology course. An alternative to working in a bio research industry. Or yes, medical writing. Hm.

I've been attempting to read several books in Bahasa Indonesia recently and the language is just -- boggling. I always feel like every sentence is super long and convoluted and were it to be in English, would be at least half as short! It's frustrating. Why can't this be in English. -.- Not to mention coming across words I'm sure do not exist in Malay! Like pungkiri - what on earth does that mean. Makes me wish I had persevered in my Arabic so I could read the original versions. I'm sure they sound less convoluted.

I came across another complicated sentence: Tentu saja hal ini adalah masyarakat yang selalu mengandalkan asas pemikiran, bukan melihat problem situasi atau kenyataan yang bersifat sementara.

@.@ what is mengandalkan??? I can't even figure out the root word -- andal??? haha, man. This is irritating. Not to mention the sentence structure... just. what are you saying.

I didn't go for stats class today and Prof returned our midterms. Yvonne collected mine for me and said I got full marks. :O well. It was rather straightforward, I say, if you had the textbook with you. I haven't seen the likes of a good grade in a long time. I feel. yay.

I'm having such a headache though. And tomorrow, am supposed to go out and get more stuff for our museum display. A pot, some blue cloth, a fan. You know, sometimes... I feel like I should just be random and work at a museum when I graduate, or something. The things I do in school are so random anyway.

Also supposed to have done research for functional genomics. And started on the 10-page essay.

-.-

I've identified the places where I have epiphanies. Mad or otherwise. The shower, the train, the route from tampines interchange to home and at the sink while washing the dishes.

Listening to my sister recite her Gatsby essays and it's making me bored, and am supposed to work on a lot of things including my SNP analysis readings and pottery articles for that museum display we're doing, but I am reading quotes on my iTouch instead. It's kinda therapeutic.

"You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give."
~ Khalil Gibran

When you can think of yesterday without regret and tomorrow without fear, you are near contentment. ~ Anonymous

Acceptance is such an important commodity, some have called it "the first law of personal growth".
~ Peter McWilliams, Life101

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. The older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.
~ Mary Schmich

The difficulty is not so great to die for a friend, as to find a friend worth dying for.
~ Homer

To be great is to be misunderstood.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Emerson always has nice quotes; I remember 409 used "You can't have harmony when everyone sings the same note" for our class motto. Or something close to that, I can't be sure.

One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn't do. ~ Henry Ford

Sanity calms, but madness is more interesting. ~ John Russell

Yes, well, interesting eh.

I know I've read this like 5 times or so, and pimped it at least twice, but here I am doing it again because it's just so good. I've been on a Hanadan high for near two weeks now since I bought the first season on DVD and couldn't help stumbling on this again and reading it again and it is so amazingly hilarious, I feel like quoting everything! GOD. It's like reading Cassandra Claire's post-OotP fic, A Lot To Be Upset About - where everything is so insanely funny and I just feel I need to tell everyone about it.

4 Times Domyouji Almost Wrecked (Someone Else's) Wedding, and 1 Time He Saved It
by Literary Lemming

"He said that Akira's sisters couldn't be the flower girls at your wedding because then Kumiko wouldn't be able to do it." Rui laconically turned a page and went back to reading.

"She's the daughter of an F4!" Domyouji barked. "That far outranks a SIBLING!"

"Are you saying my little sisters aren't WORTHY?" Akira seemed to be getting angrier with every passing second.

"Of course not! They flower-girled at MY wedding. Flower-girling for someone else would be a step down!"

"So now SOJIROH'S not worthy!"

"Stop twisting my words!"

"Then stop talking!"

"I am Domyouji Tsukasa and I'll talk when I want to talk!"

"Well I'm Mimasaka Akira and I will BUST YOUR TEETH WITH A HAMMER, you pompous bastard!"

I'm stuck in a loop. Or several loops actually. It's like a repetitive series of actions I'm supposed to have control over but seemingly don't.

Like the fact that I keep pushing and pushing and pushing away my FYP presentation. Sometimes I wish I could just make the whole thing... vanish. There's no other way to say it but I just don't want to do this. I don't think I've ever been this tired of school. Not studying or modules per se. Just the concept of school. And having to do well and memorise and do things I don't necessarily like or care about even. It's starting to be really hard to work at something I don't really have a passion for.

Oh no, I don't think I make very much sense.

I had a wonderful eid celebration with the dandarawis yesterday. Honestly, it really was the best raya gathering I've ever been to. And it's hard to say what it is exactly -- but I think it boiled down to the fact that we were all there for the right reasons. And there was this collective ganbatte! attitude, where everyone put in their enthusiasm and strength to make it a wonderful experience. There was a scavenger hunt, a ketupat-making competition that I totally FAILED at and a guess-the-kuih game for the kids. And the food was too much but so amazing. I really enjoyed myself, although the words FYP were swimming at the back of my mind. Mou, this stupid thing I am so not enjoying and am pretty much clueless about and Chen Yu Zong doesn't seem to care. Unnnnggh. D:

Also, so what if I'm a little less dense now? I just keep running away. -.- aaaaaaaaack.

xkcd and its random button is destroying my life.


I need to revise for my clinical stats midterm but I keep pressing the random button and reading comic after comic -- it's like a disease! Not to mention I need to make some progress on my stagnant FYP status.

Despite horrible work situation, I'm feeling the horrible drought of tv/Jdrama/entertainment in my life right now. I'm absolutely craving Supernatural Season 4 -- I'm starting to get angry about it. Haha. There's a poster at Laser Flair at Tampines that says Supes S4 DVD was supposed to be out September, but it's already October and it is nowhere in sight. -.- I swear I feel like glaring at the sales person. But I refrain, haha. Some people don't understand what being a fan is. It doesn't help that I saw Papa Winchester (damn, I forgot the actor's name) on P.S. I Love You this past Saturday and, god, I realise I miss the Winchesters! So bad. Also, it doesn't help that Supernatural was ranked as Japan's No. 1 Foreign TV Show at aramatheydidn't! @.@

God, I need my Supes fix.

>.< I need to slap myself and study.

Ohmygosh, I feel vindicated! :D

I picked up an article today from Straits Times dated September 23rd, 2009, called In praise of daydreaming, by Ho Kwon Ping. And it mentioned the fact that daydreaming isn't as mindless as convention supposes!

This is what neuroscientist Kalina Christoff has to say: "People assumed that when your mind wandered it was empty. But mind wandering is a much more active state than we ever imagined, much more active than during reasoning with a complex problem."

Neuroscientists were able to measure far more brain activity in volunteers who tried to solve a problem through insight than in those who applied logic. "We often assume that if we don't notice our thoughts they don't exist," said Dr Christoff. "When we don't notice them is when we may be thinking most creatively."

Studies show that problem-solving by insight - when you suddenly feel the pieces click - requires both a higher degree and a different pattern of neural resources than methodical, logical thinking. Daydreaming seems to be a fundamental basis for insight.

And well, if there's one thing I admit to doing a lot of... it's daydreaming. So yay! :P I even remember when I was three or four, my granny used to scold me, "Oi, apasal termenung!" (Which literally translates to, "Oi, why are you daydreaming!") But for some reason, I managed to pay attention in class though. Because well, I've always loved to learn, and my mum probably inculcated in me a drive for excellence, unconscious it may be on my part.

I have this very vivid memory of the time when I realised getting As was a good thing - haha. I remember I was sitting next to Chia Min (who I met again recently and is now working at MCYS - amazing how we're so old) in Primary 1 and she was colouring some grapes. I think it was math class and we were allowed to colour in the pictures when we finished work. And I remember thinking how Chia Min did it well; oooh, that's pretty. Some time later, I remember my parents talking to me. And they kept bugging me about my classmates. I remember my mum asking, "So is there anyone in class you think is very smart?" And I'm like... ehhhhhh? I don't know... But I mentioned Chia Min. Haha! But right then... I don't know, I suddenly got it -- that it was about competition. That I was supposed to look out for those of my peers who were doing well, and do as well, or better. And thus, a large part of my childhood was about doing well in school. :O

I have digressed, eh heh. :P The point is, yes! Daydreaming is not a bad thing after all.

The sob-fest continues... :P

I know I've seen this like don'tknowhowmany times, but gah, it's so sweet so I cry anyway, and I am so jealous of Arashi sometimes. To have such a great and unique bond with each other. Their friendship is so heartening. I'm glad I have friends too.

This is Aiba's emotional letter to the rest of Arashi in the 2004 24-hour TV event:



I was trying to summarise the appeal that Arashi has, while showering the other day, and I think it comes down to this: that they're a bunch of adorable dorks who are awesome together. <3

Fandom Rubbish

All this business about Pi and that half-Canadian girl has of course resulted in the crash-and-burn of possibly my favourite OTP of all time (i.e. Yamaki). But oh well. I do tend to dream unrealistically. :P Then, there was this rumour that Pi and this Kagami girl are already living together and I saw this comment; cracked me up!

I always thought he was living with Jin.

:| Obviously, I read too much fic.

Haha! Oh man. I sometimes do pity these poor stars. And gosh, that does sound so paradoxical. But the insane fame and prying, how do they live with it??? They can't have a decent romance without the whole world wanting a piece of it. And someone else mentioned Jaejoong and how if it were him, the fangirls would probably be planning the demise of his girlfriend. Haha. MAD WORLD.

---

Watched half of Ryo's 24-hour drama (just to clarify, it's not 24 hours long; just a drama special for a 24 hour charity show, haha) -- Niini no Koto Wasurenaide -- and already started sobbing like crazy. -.- The sob-fest began last night when my siblings and I watched P.S. I Love You on tv.

It makes me think how amazing humans are sometimes, to be able to overcome loss and grief.

When I've just woken up, I realise I'm the crankiest. And before I sleep, I'm the zaniest, and essentially, you can make me agree to almost anything. Woke up this morning feeling stressed because I still haven't done a ton of work and I know guests will be flooding my house today, and how am I to get anything done, seriously?

But now, I just feel a little better cause I'm a little less cranky and work seems more doable and appears less like an insurmountable obstacle.

Also finally downloading Inoue Mao on Himitsu no Arashi-chan! :)

"The emerging picture from such studies is that ten thousand hours of practice is required to achieve the level of mastery associated with being a world-class expert - in anything," writes the neurologist Daniel Levitin. "In study after study, of composers, basketball players, fiction writers, ice skaters, concert pianists, chess players, master criminals, and what have you, this number comes up again and again. Of course, this doesn't address why some people get more out of practice sessions than others do. But no one has yet found a case in which true world class expertise was accomplished in less time. It seems that it takes the brain this long to assimilate all that it needs to know to achieve true mastery."

~ Malcolm Gladwell, Outliers: The Story of Success, The 10,000-Hour Rule

What have you done for at least 10, 000 hours? Haha.

To get a sense of how absurd the selection process at elite Ivy League schools has become, consider the following statistics. In 2008, 27,462 of the most highly qualified high school seniors in the world applied to Harvard University. Of these students, 2,500 of them scored a perfect 800 on the SAT critical reading test and 3,300 had a perfect score on the SAT math exam. More than 3,300 were ranked first in their high school class. How many did Harvard accept? About 1,600, which is to say they rejected 93 out of every 100 applicants. Is it really possible to say that one student is Harvard material and another isn't, when both have identical - and perfect - academic records? Of course not. Harvard is being dishonest. Shwartz is right. They should just have a lottery.

~ Malcolm Gladwell, Outliers: The Story of Success, The Trouble With Geniuses, Part 1

No one who can rise before dawn three hundred sixty days a year fails to make his family rich. ~ Chinese saying, quoted in Outliers: The Story of Success, Rice Paddies and Math Tests

The world is your oyster? You shape your destiny? Well -- to an extent. The rest is God's will; whether you ended up in the right family, the right country, the right human race, the right school, or the right environment. It's all a wonderful combination of perfect circumstances mostly out of your control, much like the creation of the universe, that results in a desired outcome.

Every time I have a paper to write, I would take days just to prime my brain for it. :P I don't know, I just can't sit in front of a blank screen immediately and type. It just doesn't work that way for me, with writing at least. If I force myself to do so, I would most surely hate the outcome; the writing would sound bad or wrong, in some way. I would let the topic simmer in my brain for days even while I do a million other things, and when the deadline looms nearer, I would stare at the blank paper but still not write. The simmering still goes on.

The writing happens by a sudden stroke of inspiration or enthusiasm or when I know the simmering just cannot go on any longer lest I overshoot the deadline.

Meh, this is tiring. This simmering is tiring. It's like trying to picture the whole paper in my mind; or rather to envision the essence of the underlying message to be conveyed so that I know what to build my words on.

---

Hoping to watch the Buzzer Beat finale tonight!

This is one of my favourite parts of the Arrivals series. Mel asked me once if I really, really think Islam has been badly portrayed by the media since forever and my answer is yes; this video definitely says so.



And I found this astonishing compilation called "Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) in Various Scriptures of the World". In typical Qura'an translations, when Allah said that tidings of Muhammad were written in the old scriptures, these scriptures were normally taken as the Jewish Torah and the Christian Bible. But here, they've shown that other scriptures in Hinduism and Buddhism are involved too. :O

What shall I say about today? Hm. Got to Ghufran Mosque earlier than usual, I thought, but we ended up at the 7th row (usually it's the 3rd) of the female section. The khutbah (i.e. sermon) was about the usual "How well did we spend Ramadhan?" and this year, I'm glad to see less people just up and leave the moment they're done with prayers. More stayed to listen. And oh, there was a humungous wasp in the congregation for a while that had me crouching close to my sister and covering my face with my telekung. :P

Food was more than enough, also as is per normal. Ketupats, lepats, rendang, lodeh, sambal goreng, sambal prawns, my mum's meat cake, babat and more.

At Cik An's place, Insyirah was cute for a while and I played with her, but then she started crying.

And then got to Babawok's place which was crowded like crazy, the way it is every year. I was so tired and despite the unbearable heat and humidity, I dozed off a little. Our photo-taking session at the end was fun and crazy though. I'm trying to decide if I'll put some up here or in facebook or not at all.

Ja! Still have visiting to do tomorrow. And my brain is somewhat fried.

---

My rose-tinted spectacles got shattered today too. Again, I should say. Mou. :( When will I stop letting fluff take over my brain.

Fan Raving

1) I watched Becky on Himitsu no Arashi-chan (ep 63, to anyone who might want to look it up) last night (thanks to Duckie's link) and omg, it's one of the most hysterical episodes ever. Sis and I were seriously screaming and screeching in laughter! XD Even now, if I think of any part of it, I smile helplessly.

Main highlight: she said her ideal kiss was the HYD Season 1 kiss; when Makino chased after Domyouji's plane and she confessed her love and he hugged her mid-sentence and they kissed with the sunset in the background -- and they actually played that scene during the show and Becky KYAA-ed like on the spot, and omgosh, it was hysterically funny and adorable. MatsuJun was kind of embarrassed to watch it again -- it was so funny!

I'm so syncing this to my iPod. :P

2) After watching last night's episode, I was on such a high and I wondered for the millionth time how Arashi can be made of so much awesome. This miraculously amazing combination of five personalities - gosh. They are so lovable, at times I feel like squishing them. Oh, Arashi. You are so wonderful that I sometimes resent my love for NEWS. How mad is that.

3) Visited dramacrazy.net to check if the Buzzer Beat finale was up (not yet, meh.) and realised next season's Jdramas have been finalised. I got really excited because OMGOSH!!! @.@ They're doing Liar Game Season 2!!!!!!!! I watched Season 1 in my really, really early days of fangirling, and yes, it was repetitive and majorly flawed in many ways, but it rocked in terms of characterisation so man, I AM EXCITED to see Matsuda Shota being cool again, please. He was this uber-smart badass just released from jail and Toda Erika played a naive, honest girl he decided to deign to help. And their pairing was not explored!!! Please do in the second season. You have to.

4) Other Jdramas to consider checking: Aiba's My Girl! He's gonna play a dad! And Miura Haruma in Samurai Seventeen -- basically a high school dude who realises he has samurai powers or stg like that? Whatever, sword-wielding heroes are always my cup of tea! :) And Miura Haruma wasn't bad in Bloody Monday (I didn't finish the drama but he was likeable).

5) Maki's Hollywood-directed movie, Nakushita Kioku, which stars Tego and MatsuKen, has, I hear, been postponed for release in spring next year. :(

okay, done.

I'm recalling moments from last sem now, when there were eight of us in Drug Design class and virtually all of us were so incredibly blur on how to use the Rapidminer software to build our machine-learning model. It was a hysterical time. Funny and stressful. Machine-learning, just in case you're curious, is a method where predictions are made not based on the understanding of process or mechanism but from already known data. So for example: say I don't know why some things are poisonous and why some are not, but I know what these things are. I want to be able to tell if something else I come across is poisonous or not, regardless -- so I build a model/system that tries to predict just by the examples that I do know. Does this make sense?

I should let Eunice explain, since it's her FYP project. :P

Anyway, I'm remembering all this because I have another software to contend with for FYP -- called Cell Designer -- and I feel really stupid right now, because I can't even draw a freaking reaction arrow for a protein interaction! >:| It's like... UGGGH. The arrow refuses to materialise! Why isn't it easy and simple like in Microsoft Word.

And I cannot see the big picture of my project very well. I hate it when all my thoughts are in pieces and I cannot see what all my efforts are leading to. It makes me feel like tearing up things in frustration. I shall wake up tomorrow and do a mind map when I'm in a better state of mind. -.-

That is, if I have any time amidst all the nagging I'm anticipating from my mum tomorrow. The house will be turned upside down cause raya is on Sunday and we are supposed to be cleaning and marketing and more. And my room is still a mess -- I don't know what to do. D: how to juggle!

Stress aside: anyway, in case I don't come here tomorrow or the day after, Eid Mubarak! :)))

...the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “This community of mine is a community blessed with mercy. It is not punished in the Hereafter. Instead, it is punished in this world with strife, instability, and bloodshed.” [Musnad Ahmad, Sunan Abî Dâwûd, and Mustadrak al-Hâkim]

"Useful knowledge is that which makes you grow in the fear of Allah, increases you in awareness of your defects, deepens your knowledge of the worship of your Lord Most High, decreases your desire for this world and increases your desire for the life to come, and opens your eyes to the defects of your actions so that you guard against them."

-Imam Ghazali

I ate a pineapple tart yesterday, since raya is coming and all and my mum is slowly but surely stacking up the bottles of kuih in the kitchen. But this wasn't any pineapple tart. This was my aunt's famous ones. The moment I put them in my mouth -- nyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. Sweetness and nostalgia. I am brought back to Cik Nah's old house with those marble floors and I'm five years old or something and sitting next to the jar of pineapple tarts. The taste is awesome; the most amazing tarts in the world to me. There are such things, right? Wonderful little things that bring back sweet memories just by their taste or smell or sight.

Life is really made wonderful by the little things, I'm thinking.

Like tonight, the fact that, yes! I finally found a nice, new NEWS desktop background and arranged all my icons nicely, makes me happy.

And because I am so far gone in fandom, I'm now actually recalling something Pi said in his nikki (or was it his seventeen column?) in relation to this. He said, how people have such big dreams and big ambitions and big desires all the time, they tend to forget the beautiful little things they should be grateful for. See why I love this boy? How can he be so famous and everything and still be so good and humble? Unless he's faking it, of course. He can't be faking it! :( That'd make me so sad.

I was on the bus home today, and I was just daydreaming out the window as I am wont to do, and literally felt my anxieties deflate in size. Because again, I'd learnt to take perspective. And I realise that hey, so what if I don't take the supposed obvious route to supposed perceptions of success? I am truly, truly content with taking my own little steps at a time. Yes, I have my weaknesses but recognising them has helped me grow. And that as long as I know my own worth, then it doesn't matter at all. Because God would know me too. (Better than me, I should say.) It made me smile, just thinking that.

And that all I have to do is give my best.

These days, I'm really starting to appreciate the true meaning of Islam; utter submission to Allah.

Because I am random, as I have said many times, I want to paste a picture of Maki! God. I miss her. And it's worse than loving JE because she doesn't release albums or whatnot so we don't get to see her as much if she isn't in a drama. And man, there's just something about her, see?

It's relatively easy to find pretty faces I suppose, but to be able to photograph like this? Her photos are all so nggggh, gorgeous. Why does she have such wonderful expressions? It gives her photos depth. I keep ridiculously thinking I want to be Maki when I grow up, but of course I'm supposed to be grown up (meh!) and she's actually a year younger than me. :P But oh, how are you so elegant and graceful and I'm always the clumsy silly girl.

Mouuuuu. D:

Am so unbearably weak against distractions. Been trying to work on that pairwork Prof Chen gave us, but seriously -- this is super tedious and I just want (food.) to do something else! I need an energy source.

I've been contemplating on whether to put up this video here, for a long time now. But I rewatched the last part of the speech again, and it always manages to make me cry, and so I've decided it deserves to be on my blog.

It's a little something about the personal experiences of a man who finally embraced Islam. Watch it from beginning to end if you like - part one is linked to this one via youtube. Go watch! It's not boring at all.

Only 8 nights left of Ramadhan! :(

OMG TEGOSHI AND IMOTO ARE THE FUNNIEST THING. XD



Basically, Imoto has this supposed on-going on-screen crush with Tegoshi and it is often teased about every time their variety show ItteQ airs. Like, the hosts would ask Tego, So what did you think of Imoto in the bikini? or Imoto, you want to hug Tego right! Imoto is of course made out to be this really uncouth schoolgirl character, with unbelievably thick eyebrows, and her supposed pairing with pretty JE boy Tego is simply a source of amazing comic relief. The way Tego always tries to get around her overt advances are just hilarious to watch.

And this one is one of my favourites! Imoto asks (leaning into his personal space as she does so) if Tego can kiss her when she finishes her marathon for 24HRTV -- and Tego leans away from her and says, "Can you ask through my talent agency please?" HAHAHAHA. XD Omg, seriously.

I gave up on my stats tutorial for tonight and this is what I do. :P

This was done completely on impulse because I am currently in love with this song. (Credit goes to my sister for introducing the song - she insists. -_-) And everytime I listen, I feel happy. And I think of my friends and the lovely people I know. So yes, despite the fact that I actually have proper work to do, I just had to do this. And this video is by no means a documentation of all my friends. God knows I lost all my photos prior to 2008 anyway, due to a computer crash (so all images of RJ and RG are gone! sad, I know.), and I realise I really don't have photos of some very important people. Also, this was meant to be random, and all photos are either pictures of happy people or happy things or anything that has its theme in friendship.

And here's the complete english translation of Together by Monkey Majik:

if I were to grow wings on my back
i want to convey to you right now
this overflowing happiness

riding in the swaying wind
in the glittering light of the future
together, forever

this scenery that i've been seeing in my dream
if you try to make your ears listen carefully to the harmony
"is it ok? is this path correct?"
I was always shaken by anxiety

without even looking back
I've come quite a long way
more than anything else, changing too much, too fast
it's never gonna stop, we'll keep it on top
and be together

if I were to grow wings on my back
i want to convey to you right now
this overflowing happiness

riding in the swaying wind
in the glittering light of the future
together, forever

I got this feeling deep inside me
it's a miracle, this miracle of our meeting
I don't believe that I'm alone
you tried to tell me and now i see
you've always understood
but now i've opened up my heart
I can't wait to hold you in my arms

if I was able to look back
would have I been able to come this far?
more than anything else, changing too much, too fast
it's never gonna stop, we'll keep it on top
and be together

if I were to grow wings on my back
i want to convey to you right now
this overflowing happiness

riding in the quivering wind
in the glittering light of the future
together, forever

try to walk away
always from the same ol' day
every little step I take
becomes my own

this feeling won't change, won't fade away
one more time
you are the one for me
you are the only one

the sky that spreads out in front of my eyes
i want to convey it to you right now
this nostalgic joy

with you forever
this future i've tried to forget
together forever
forever

i remember the enjoyable days
forever

(Source)

I am happy tonight. Because I had a hard day, but I had wonderful people to help make it all the better. They didn't have to do anything, they just had to be there, and it's all the better.

And watching 24 hour tv is just really good exercise for the heart and mind. Work hard and live proud. :) That should be one of the axioms of life.

There's nothing to cry over in this vid -- it's NEWS saying some last comments and singing Weeek (the audio's really bad I think, cause even Tego sounded weird!) but I cried anyway! Don't know -- maybe cause I'm seriously in need of encouragement tonight and their words moved me. But maybe it's cause I'm happy for NEWS too. :))) Yay, guys, you did awesome. I totally expected Koyama to tear in the show, and Yamapi too and even when Shige started almost full-out bawling (haha!), I wasn't surprised. (Although I was half-embarrassed for him. :P) But it was Tego that did it for me! Adorable, normally self-absorbed Tego was struggling against tears when Imoto finally finished her crazy long marathon of 120+ km for charity. (And he hugged her like he promised!) Aw, Tego. You have a wonderful heart too. <3

I have these moments when I wonder if I have a split personality. Don't you? Like you wonder how you could be such an emotional fool at that point in time, or how you could even think in such a manner. I go like, Why??? What is wrong with me? It doesn't make sense!

Life has a lot of things that don't make sense. Yet? Maybe some day we'll know. Ooh, I'm remembering that song!

Some day you will know
If love can move a mountain
Some day you will know
Why the sky is blue
Some day you will know
That I was the one for you...

I'm in the Science computer lab now, trying to edit my aunt's seven-page essay for her. Editing is not such an easy task, especially if you feel compelled to just revamp the entire thing and make it prettier. Prettier in the sense of prettier and more descriptive words.

Gah, my brain is drawing blanks right now. Tired. Not sure why, but just a little tired.

My Sinbad, Shipwrecks and Singapore USP module has a term paper, which is better called a novella. Basically, I'm supposed to write up a fictional essay on any one of the characters that could possibly have been around in the 9th century, in connection to the ship that would sink off the coast of Sumatra in appx. 832 AD, near Belitung Island. Not only is this a wonderful narrative the likes of which I haven't attempted in years - but at moments, I get totally excited because hello, I am ultimately attempting a piece of historical fiction! How awesome is this. And I realise that throughout the term, we're all basically doing research for it - looking at cracked pots from the shipwreck and reading about Srivijaya and Buddhist monks and Arabs and Persians in China (who were locally called ta-xi and po-si respectively) - it's all in preparation for the story.

You know, USP modules may be hard and troublesome and endangering to my CAP, but little experiences like this go a long way, I think. At least they stay longer in my memory.

Okay, back to work!

I've always thought coffee never affected me much, no matter how much I love and drink it. Then last night, I drank some and ended up not sleeping till nearly 4 am. Zzzz. ZONKED. Me and sis were chatting in the dark for near two hours, about anything and everything. Until she was like, "Eh, what time is it???" And I was @.@ - "I have no idea, but very late."

I don't know how some sisters can be so different and I wonder how they get along. Me and sis are so similar in many ways - I don't know if it's a result of being close to each other, or being close is a result of our matching personalities. Hm. Maybe the two reinforce each other.

I was randomly mentioning last night of a memory I had when we were all younger and my siblings and I told our parents we wished that time would stand still. I think I was 9 and we were in Australia for the first time (on a trip with the uncles and cousins) and I remember us saying that that was the absolute best time of our lives. We didn't want to grow up. We had each other and it was so fun and we had our cousins we played with every time and anything different from that status quo would fall short.

And yesterday I realised, It's kinda true. :( Look now. It's all different. And I think I'm the one feeling it most. I think I might cry. Oh, the loss of innocence.

I had iftar with my primary school friends just now. A few of them, I hadn't seen in 10 years! XD It's just so amazing to meet people again after a long time. Yes, we're all a little taller, a little better groomed and a little more mature, but essentially we're all the same, it makes me want to smile non-stop for some reason.

Like, the cutest boy is still the cutest boy, the funny guy is still the funny guy, the weirdo is still adorably weird and our personalities, I'm thinking, are set in stone or something. Take Yus, for instance. She had always been the sportiest girl and tomboy-ish to the core, and look now - she's climbing mountains. Shahirah - loved reading books and was a pet in English class and she graduated as an English major. :)) I don't know - it's like a beautiful familiarity somehow.

I have a year left of school and a part of me is already dreading the end of it. No, it's not like I'm in love with NUS. It's more that I'm afraid of that crazy vastness that is the world out there, in which I feel I'm certain to get lost. I feel like the water's getting deep and I don't know if I can swim.

I came across this line while reading The Game of Thrones today:

"Beric Dondarrion was handsome enough, but he was awfully old,
almost twenty-two;"

I almost choked in laughing disbelief. XD Yes, I suppose to a 13-year-old, a 22-year-old is ancient, but still! Gosh.

Yesterday, whilst working on my seemingly never-ending task of putting together Kak Atiyah's wedding guestbook (I should learn to say no to people, no matter how painful, really. It's such a disease.), I rewatched episodes 3 and 4 of Nobuta wo Produce.

I was thinking about the Truth Man. In the show, there was a brief appearance of a strange character called the Truth Man and basically he would chase random people down and extort the truth from them. There is no specification as to what truth he demands, just simply the truth. And he would badger you and 'torment' you and he would not quit you till you gave him the truth. Of course, Akira gets accosted by this Truth Man at the end of episode 4 and at first he runs screaming from him (haha, Pi is seriously hilarious as Akira) but then gives in and confesses that he likes Nobuta so that the Truth Man would leave him. And after that, he was all like "Eh, I like her???" And it's so cute and all because next episode he tells Shuji he wants to quit producing Nobuta cause he doesn't want to share her with other people. <3

Anyway, I just thought the Truth Man idea was very smart - the truth , until you admit it to yourself, will eat away at you and torture you. The truth, as indeed the Truth Man demonstrated, will set you free.

Heh, I feel like I'm doing literature. :P But seriously, I love the themes and symbolism of Nobuta. Even to little things like the lighting of the show play a part - I love how when Shuji walks through the corridor, and he's thinking and being himself, the light dims and the sounds of his school fade away and you get the sense that he's playing this dual role - the real him, who thinks everything he's doing is kinda crap, and the popular him. And when some chattering girls accost him, reality comes flooding back and everything is colourful and noisy again, and we see Shuji back in his smiling public persona of all-popular high school boy.

I love how one can take little bits of Nobuta like that, and analyse them piece by piece. I don't get why the JEPCast (Johnny's Entertainment Podcast) refused to do it back when someone suggested it. JEPCast has a drama section where they review a drama, episode by episode, and the reason I knew JEPCast was cause one of the first dramas they covered was Kurosagi. When someone suggested Nobuta they said, if I'm not mistaken, that there was not enough interest in it and there was not much to delve into, and unless someone convinced them otherwise, they would work on other shows first. Needless to say, I was like this: O_O. Nobuta is filled to the brim with issues to discuss.

My sister, of course, doesn't give a toot to what the JEPCast people say because she quite dislikes them because of the irritating way they'd accent Japanese words. Seriously, they'd butcher names, so that Arashi gets pronouced as "Uh-RAA-she" and Takki gets called "tackey". Not to mention the annoying manner of some American conversationalists to include the word "like" every 10 words or so and end a sentence as a question, no matter the nature of the statement: "Like, I was so excited???" I get seriously tickled by it all.

Okay, functional genomics class - got to go!

Work is building up slowly like a storm. I can feel it. @.@ Yesterday, could barely understand a thing in my stats lecture. I have to make myself sit down with the textbook and get this or die. Not to mention that FYP is hovering like a cloud over my head -- I've been told what to do, but I haven't got around to doing it, and already, the prospect of looking up kinetic constants and reaction equations is scaring the frak out of me. I shall keep calm and try hard. I can do this!

Away from school, I've been wanting a number of things.

1) This backpack I saw at Tampines1 and been eyeing since. :S I've been chewing myself over it for a long time now.

2) TegoMasu no Uta album!!!! So far, I haven't seen it in stores in Singapore. And I just want it so bad. I realised that my top favourite JE songs are TegoMasu songs. This is one of their tracks in the album -- they sound awesome live. (And here's a clip with subs!)

I've had a little lull in spirits. And been a little busy with other things. So this place was neglected for a while. I've always thought how this blog gives the impression that I don't do anything besides spaz and ramble... but it's cause I just don't find joy in mundanely recounting my daily life happenings, unless they've truly moved me in some way that I feel compelled to share, and the event's something I feel open enough to share about. So yes, am not going to say what has happened in my life recently, haha. I have just been a bit preoccupied with other things. Quite memorable things.

Anyway, just tonight my sister and me were talking randomly:

I think it's guys that make relationships difficult, you know. Like you know, the girl has to be beautiful. No such thing as a guy admitting he likes a girl for her personality or virtues. If you watch movies or read books, the girl just has to be beautiful. If she ain't beautiful, she can't be the girl!

So what happens to the ugly girls then?

They just die.


XD HAHAHAHAHA. After that, I laughed like crazy. Gosh.

A short vid about the greatness that is Prophet Muhammad, Rasulullah s.a.w..



Another one:

A little documentary about the truth behind the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. And it's made by an Israeli Jew too. It's a bit slow and muffled at some parts, but still watchable.

Come and educate yourself, please. Don't just swallow media propaganda.

(The other parts are linked under the same user.)

I just rewatched the first episode of Ryusei no Kizuna. :) It still made me laugh. And it still made me cry. And I'm putting up a review of Ryusei I wrote for my sis earlier this year (she used it for her Jap club exhibit or stg).

Ryusei no Kizuna (Meteor Bonds), based on the novel by famous mystery writer, Keigo Higashino, begins with the murder of a married couple. Blessedly, their children were out of the house at the time of the incident, having snuck out in the middle of the night to watch meteors. The three siblings returned home to find their parents dead, and their lives altered forever. The story fast forwards to the Ariake siblings as young adults, still haunted by their parents' yet unsolved muder case. Vowing to avenge the injustice done to their family, the Ariake siblings team up and in desperation, attempt various means and schemes to uncover the true killer before the Statute of Limitations puts a close to the police's murder investigation and the chance for them to confront their past.

Despite the rather dark and bleak premise of the plot, Ryusei no Kizuna has a surprising light-heartedness that makes watching a pleasure, even for non-mystery lovers. Screenwriter Kudo Kankuro, known for his unusual story-telling techniques, puts his brand of humour into the drama, creating fast-changing scenes and comical narratives. Indeed, there is rarely a scene that feels dragged out or out of place. The dialogue is riddled with laugh-out-loud punch lines and the crazy swindling schemes of the Ariake siblings - involving several cosplaying attempts - provide much amusement. More than all that however, is the amazing sibling chemistry between the three main actors. Viewers will most likely relate to the very natural sibling squabbles and interactions played by Ninomiya Kazunari (of the award-winning Letters from Iwo Jima), Nishikido Ryo and Toda Erika, which were always entertaining, occasionally heart-warming and more than once, tear-jerking. Ryusei no Kizuna, while driven by its mystery plot, is at its heart and as the title suggests, a wonderful portrayal of sibling love and the strength of family.

Why do bad things happen to good people? :(

Honestly, it's a stupid question. But we ask it all the time. Isn't it the reason that some people denounce God? That they're so upset with the state of the world, they give up on the idea of God looking down on us? But seriously - you know, isn't it possible God knows better? Because there are more important things than transient happiness on this Earth, eh? Like nobility, for instance. Or profundity. Or courage. Or true faith, not faith just when you get enough food and money and clothes. (And God protect us from such difficult tests of faith.) Such beautiful qualities are only nurtured and polished in adversity.

This reminds me of that Huxley novel I just finished the other day - Brave New World; how utter comfort and happiness breeds a particular ugliness. It makes me wonder you know, that maybe humans are meant to overcome challenges. That that's what we live for. We're here just to fight obstacles, and when we have none, we've lost reason for existence. In short, as we always hear - life ain't worth living till there's something worth dying for.

The way my mind drifts - haiyoh. @.@

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Anyway, found a new animal I possibly like more than pandas and lambs!!! ALPACAS.

They're like lambs with long necks, which probably explains why I find them so irresistibly adorable. XD The first time I saw them was on a Jap tv show just yesterday, with Yamapi (haha). They invited alpacas onto the show! And Yamapi and the Buzzer Beat cast were patting their fluffy fur and all, and squealing kawaii at intervals. This, of course, only exarcebates my unbidden love for this creature. :P

I used to harp on a lot about intuition and coincidences and fate. And then, I became a little bit more cynical and skeptical. Things only happen because you make it so, ne. But today, I think the old me was right to believe in the wonderful workings of divine power. Allah does help those who help themselves. God does answer wholehearted pleas. You'll find the truth if you search it. The thing you look for might fall right onto your lap, and then you sit stunned for at least a second. And go wow.

In the morning, I was helping process documents at Mendaki as usual, and I saw someone quote Paul Coelho in her personal statement: how the universe conspires for you when you fight for your passions or convictions.

I bumped into the Finance Director at the photocopy machine after that. She asked me if I was the one who had graduated and was working at Deloitte. I gave her a confused no, I haven't even graduated yet! I don't even know what Deloitte is.

Then I left earlier than usual, because I was meeting my Human Relations project mates, who have become my USP friends, at Orchard. Raphael was leaving for Philly for NOC, so we gathered for a little farewell. And we talked about random work and school stuff. And Raphael mentioned his sister works at Deloitte. And my brain went, eh?

Then later he mentioned he was working at Exploit Technologies (the new kid on the block at Biopolis, I think) for a bit this summer and basically they do knowledge transfer from research to market. And they had some new 2-year internship program for fresh grads and suggested me and Vaish check it out some time if we're interested. (It turns out Vaish is aiming for med school.) By this time, I was already a little rattled. Like wow. Wasn't this what I've been thinking about for some time now?

Then he went further to ask me what I wanted to do after graduation. And because things had turned so favourably, I dared to say, Something like medical writing? And he enthusiastically replied, Oh, I know a professor whose wife works as a medical writer at nusmed! I could get you to meet or talk to her if you want. And I really went, Majide!!!! in my head. I couldn't believe it.

You see, I have been privately cracking my head about my future plans and stumbled on the concept of medical writing or basically, communication in science. I thought, what could be better, eh? I get to write, something I know I can at least do okay, and I get to use my background in science. I wasn't so confident on the concept of doing graduate work or research in bioinformatics (although I'm not closing off the option entirely), what with my mediocre CAP and blurness in programming and all, and here was an option that might work, you know. And I had already spent some time reading about it and looking up people who do it (there aren't many, if any, in Singapore) and I was contemplating corresponding with one of these people for advice. I'd been mulling about it for days. So, Raphael offering something like that- Oh, I know someone who's a medical writer! You want? - was seriously, @.@ - wow.

And I said, Okay, I think I'll mail you some time.

So yes, today was a little significant. And I'm going to gather my guts and do something about this.

And okay, I'm still trying to figure out the exact meaning of Deloitte being mentioned by random people twice in one day. Haha. Or maybe I'm just looking for patterns where there aren't any. :P But I don't know, the idea that a pattern does exist is just... better to me.

Also, Jiawen is right - you really can learn, and should learn, from anyone, and anything.
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Anyway, away from future worries and whatnot, I reread a funny Hanadan fic and I just have to post a link here: 4 Times Domyouji Almost Wrecked (Someone Else's) Wedding, and 1 Time He Saved It

This fic reiterates how crazily special an OTP Tsukasa and Tsukushi are. It is so hilarious. I just totally love how the fic embellishes the way Makino questions her sanity for having fallen for the idiot Domyouji is. XD It is funny as hell. The Domyouji antics are so spot on. I love it.

"You look like a pimp!"

"Eh?" He frowned at her reflection in the mirror, and then grinned in triumph. "I don't have a hand crank! Eh, dummy?"

Makino blinked at him in bewilderment, then rubbed the bridge of her nose in exasperation. "No. Idiot. PIMP, not PUMP. God, you're such a moron. Why did I marry you?"

"Because I'm Domyouji Tsukasa, heir to Domyouji Holdings, and you are the girl I chose!"

Gosh, just thinking of Domyouji now makes me want to crack up. XD I realise it may not sound remotely amusing to someone who hasn't watched Hanadan - to which I say, Please clue yourself in. Boys Over Flowers is becoming a legend, please. Just the soundtrack of the Korean version was on the 2nd spot on the top 10 Asian albums at HMV today. -_-