picture in my mind

I'm stuck in a loop. Or several loops actually. It's like a repetitive series of actions I'm supposed to have control over but seemingly don't.

Like the fact that I keep pushing and pushing and pushing away my FYP presentation. Sometimes I wish I could just make the whole thing... vanish. There's no other way to say it but I just don't want to do this. I don't think I've ever been this tired of school. Not studying or modules per se. Just the concept of school. And having to do well and memorise and do things I don't necessarily like or care about even. It's starting to be really hard to work at something I don't really have a passion for.

Oh no, I don't think I make very much sense.

I had a wonderful eid celebration with the dandarawis yesterday. Honestly, it really was the best raya gathering I've ever been to. And it's hard to say what it is exactly -- but I think it boiled down to the fact that we were all there for the right reasons. And there was this collective ganbatte! attitude, where everyone put in their enthusiasm and strength to make it a wonderful experience. There was a scavenger hunt, a ketupat-making competition that I totally FAILED at and a guess-the-kuih game for the kids. And the food was too much but so amazing. I really enjoyed myself, although the words FYP were swimming at the back of my mind. Mou, this stupid thing I am so not enjoying and am pretty much clueless about and Chen Yu Zong doesn't seem to care. Unnnnggh. D:

Also, so what if I'm a little less dense now? I just keep running away. -.- aaaaaaaaack.