I was getting excited about Friday. Scared, but excited.

But then... I realised I shouldn't be so excited. And I shouldn't get so happy being in RJ yet. Because if I end up getting kicked out, I'll be utterly devastated. What if during those three months I've made new friends or I've ended up in a wonderful class/facullty/whatever but then I'd have to leave in the end? I don't think I can handle that.

I was lying on my bed this morning, thinking about this and the more I thought about it, the more terrified I became. It's really scary to think that my language grade for Os depends solely on my English. My Malay is hopeless. And language cannot be so consistent... right? I mean, not all of my essays can be good, I can't recall my vocabulary all the time and I can't think of interesting things to converse about in oral as often as I like. It's not possible to be so excellent in all your writing works. So what if the essay I wrote really sucks? What's going to happen?!

HELP. Paranoia has hit me.

I have a new chess set. I bought it from Colmar, France, on my trip. I love it. I love every single piece on it. I love the king, the queen, the bishop, the castle and the horse, even though it looks more like a dog than anything else. I love the pawns too. But the problem with my chess set is that I don't have that many people to play with. There's my brother. And I played with him... but I lost. Which pissed me off (Am a sore loser to some extent, especially if it's against my brother!) so I haven't played with him again. My mum's too busy to play with me. My dad and my sis don't know how to. I taught my sis actually, but she doesn't seem interested anymore. So naturally, my chess set is sitting on my desk... unplayed. I wish I could conjure up an opponent...

I can still remember that particular shop in Colmar. It's one of the many in the Christmas bazaar. I tell you, it is so beautiful. The air is crisp and cold, though there are many people, it isn't noisy, just a light chatter, and the sky is a plain clear blue. There are so many pretty things to see. If I celebrated Christmas, I would have wanted to buy a Christmas tree straight away just so I would have a reason to purchase such pretty ornaments. Then I saw that shop. The chess shop. I was really surprised. I couldn't believe my eyes.

If you like chess and the fact that one of the characters in your favourite book loves it too and another of your favourite book series is named after it, you would be as amazed as me. I thought maybe I was dreaming. The shop (though it's more of a stall) sells nothing but chess pieces and chess sets! I couldn't take my eyes off them, I tell you. And I must have been grinning like an idiot. All I said was "Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!" My mum was smilling too, I think, as she likes chess too. Now that I think about it, it's fortunate that the stall holder speaks little English, because he would have thought I was loony.

There was a huge green and white wooden chess set open on the table. There were carvings around the edges... which made it appear so... antique. And there were many more stacked all around. Of course... they're all expensive. But I knew right then that if I left empty-handed from that place, I would regret it for a very long time. So I got one. As a very early birthday gift from my dad. It's the cheapest one because we're not that rich and I don't want to make my dad look more pained than he already was after having paid so much for my trip. Nonetheless, I love my new chess set (I think I've made that clear enough from the beginning.). It's a polished wooden chess set...

And since I've talked about Colmar which is incidentally the first place I visited on my trip, I'll continue from there. With my new chess set clutched under my arm, we walked around some more. We ate some crepe (Is that right?) with nutella bought from another stall and despite them being HOT, we finished them up like piranhas. I think it's the cold weather. My hands are so numb the can't feel the heat from the food so I keep peeling the crepe bit by bit and stuffing them into my mouth. I might sound like a glutton or a pig, but let me remind you that airplane food sucks.

Basically, Colmar is like Diagon Alley, only the alleys are wider than what they show in the movie and the shops don't sell bats or rats or potions. But the shops do look equally quaint and pretty. The streets are cobbled as well. And it's cold. How many times have I said that? After Colmar, the tour brought us to Strasbourg, which is more or less the same. The same pretty alleys, the same pretty shops... Do I make it sound boring? It may look the same over there, but you never find such places in Singapore. So it isn't boring. There's a cathedral in Strasbourg, which is ancient... can't quite remember when they built it... perhaps the 13th century? It has only one tower, because the builders realised the foundation wasn't strong enough to hold two.

By 4pm, the sunlight has turned really orange and you know it's dusk. We left France and headed for Blackforest, Germany. There's a lodge there which is called Hofgut Sternen. A German name, no doubt. It's next to the highway and the forest. So it's pretty dark behind the building. I ended up rooming with my cousin while the remaining four members of my family settled into a family suite. I don't mind. In fact, I was glad because I would be far away from my brother and his sloppiness and his throwing all over the place habits and his complaints of no football on tv. It is a very nice, cosy room. Two beds - one for me, one for my cousin, Kak Naz. The bed is huge with white, fluffy sheets. I found all these really welcoming because it is incredibly satisfying to be able to lie flat on your back after having to make do with inclined seats in the plane and bus for long hours. I had a great night's sleep, waking only once during the night because the back of my earring had fallen off.

So imagine my surprise when my cousin mentioned after we left Germany the next morning, that she thought the room was haunted. Okay... maybe not the room, she says, the bathroom. And when she announced this to the rest of us, I was so relieved that we had left that place. She told me she felt extremely uneasy in the bathroom. And though she saw nothing really scary, she sort of envisioned it. She told us that the moment she closed her eyes to wash her hair, she'd see this face looming up at her, on the back of her eyelids. And she'd immediately snap open her eyes. The face was of a teenage girl's, according to her, with dark hair and dark holes as eyes. She could have imagined it, even she admits it. But why such a face? Why couldn't she have imagined the normal Pontianak instead of what was clearly, to her, a European girl? Whatever it was, real or not, I was glad we were moving on to a different hotel. That mystery will remain a mystery.

Blackforest, Germany, is famous for it's cuckoo clocks and blackforest cake. We didn't eat a blackforest cake... oh wait, we did! We did during dinner at Hofgut Sternen, where the haunted bathroom was. The restaurant served blackforest cake with cherry liquor as dessert. It was scrumptious. We went to a cuckoo clock factory too. Factory is not really an appropriate word... because the clocks are all handmade. They hardly use machines except simple tools to carve the designs. It's more of a cottage industry. Cuckoo clocks are run solely on weights, no battery. So it can last really long. My family bought one. Quite small but costly. It's hanging in my house right now, next to the dining area.

Lake Titisee was conveniently situated next to the cuckoo clock shop. It was very, very cold. It might have been freezing, I'm not sure anymore. There was mist on the surface of the lake. The water was as reflective as glass. And there were many ducks! I wonder, aren't they cold? Why haven't they flown south where it's warmer? The water must have been unbearably cold. Some of it near the shore had already turned to ice. My brother and me were ecstatic at the sight of frozen water.

The last place in Germany that we visited was the Rhinefalls. It's a small waterfall, but it makes a very beautiful view nonetheless. There was the constant sound of gushing water which I found really soothing. It drowns out everything else. We ate ikan bilis sandwiches my mum made by the water. Spicy, hot food in cold weather tastes much better, in my opinion. I think over there then, it's sort of still half autumn and half winter. Some of the tress still had leaves though they've all gone orange, yellow or the rare red. It's very pretty. There's a castle next to the waterfall, on top of a small hill. But we didn't go in there. I wish we could. Love castles.

At the end of that day, we finally arrived at our permanent hotel for the trip, Astoria, in Luzern, Switzerland. It's in the middle of the city but it's not noisy or anything. At night, it's quiet but not very dark. My stay in the hotel room was uneventful, without any looming faces or prickly feelings at the back of my neck, thank goodness. Dinner was slightly unbearable. By then we were sick of vege and fish. Wait, that's wrong. I was sick of fish and I have never liked vege in the first place. The fish.. which was very white and tastes bland was merely splashed over with some tomato sauce and peas. Soup was okay and the bread was soft and filling. But the fish was just... eeugh! Dessert was a sickeningly sweet strawberry sorbet which was very pleasant on my taste buds. However, with every spoonful it got harder to swallow because too much sweetness makes me blanch and for all the dinners there, I didn't finish the dessert. And before you ask, yes, the dinner at the hotel, is the same EVERY night.

The following morning was my mum's and sister's birthday. Woke up and gave my mum, who was in the opposite room, her present. This consisted of a little kitty soft toy in a forever friends tub and various messages from all of us. She seemed happy enough. Then, we set off for the highlight of the tour, a visit into the Alps - the mountains. The particular mountain we were going up was called Jungfraujoch (pronounced yong-frau-yock). We were armed with several layers of warm clothing which proved to be a lot of trouble. The moment you get onto the bus, you feel hot and proceed to take off your jacket and neck scarf. When you have to alight, you put everything back on. It is quite tiring. And I haven't mentioned going to the toilet. When it's cold, your bladder tends to become full faster, and signs leading to the toilets are the first things you look out for at every stop. Once you're in the cubicle, you have the task of peeling off your clothes one by one - first your neck scarf, then your overcoat or jacket, then your pants, then your long johns and finally your underwear. Good luck to you if your business is urgent. Be sure not to tear down the cubicle door while you trash around with your clothes. I recall my visit to one of the public toilets. It was not in any mall or building. It was like a cabin outside.. Ah, you know, like the ones along the beach? I got quite a jolt when I sat on the toilet. Now I understand why Roald Dahl was tasked, in his book Boy, to warm a toilet seat for one of the prefects.

As we went further into the highlands, we began to 'oooh' and 'aaah' at the scenery. Snow-peaked mountains... one after another... It's like flipping the pictures of a calender, only you're aware that it's real. That such beauty does not exist because of camera tricks. It's as beautiful as the pictures. We took a train from a station called Lauterbrennen, higher up into the mountains. We changed trains once. And while we waited at the station, which was hardly near the top of Jungfraujoch, it was already freezing. The wind chilled me right to the bone and my face, which I couldn't exactly wrap in a woollen scarf lest I couldn't see and fall off a ledge, got the worst of it. My cheeks were freezing and I understood the expression where "the wind was like a knife on my cheek".

There's a tourist centre on the mountain and when we got there, we were free to roam the place on our own. I was already feeling slightly giddy but this was dismissed immediately in the prospect of playing with snow. Finally, I thought. Snow. There was a door which led out to what was called the 'Ice Plateau' and the moment I stepped out of that door, the wind nearly knocked me off my feet. And, oh, it wasn't just the wind which left me speechless for a while - it was the falling snow as well. I was holding my videocam in one hand, switched to recording mode, but the moment I came out, I forgot all about it and swung around, putting my arms around me in a vain attempt to block out the wind. The snow was falling right into my eyes and I kept thinking, "How am I supposed to see anything?" But after a while, I got quite used to it and blinking more rapidly seemed to have solved the problem. My dad took over the videoing and I played with the snow.

It's so soft... almost like flour, but not quite. It's not very deep at that patricularly place... so imagine stepping in a snowy beach. We kept grabbing fists of snow and throwing them at each other. We went to the Plateau twice, once before lunch at the restaurant there, once after. Obviously, we had ample time to play with snow. My sister made snow angels. And lying in the snow, worried at first that I wouldn't get all the white stuff of my back, I discovered that it was really, really soft. And as long as you dont have clumps of snow attached to you when you get back into the warmth of the building, you won't get wet at all. Simply dust off all the snow on you before you get back in. My sister and I took off our gloves just to feel snow with our bare skin but after two seconds of holding snow in my palm, I felt my hand freeze up completely. It was number than I had ever felt. And it was also painful. I immediately threw the snow back down. Wearing gloves is a must, I realised.

There was a lift which brought visitors higher up the mountain, somewhere near the peak. It brought us to an open observatory called the 'Sphinx'. I suppose in the summer, it would give you a nice view of the sun shining on the snowy slopes. But all we saw was white. I couldn't tell the difference between the sky and us. We must have been in the clouds. And all the while, the snow kept falling steadily and slowly. I caught the snowflakes in my hand and looked at them closely. Each one was so pretty! I got one up close on video.

We all know that the air is thinner at higher altitudes. But I only knew how it feels like to be subjected to thin air when I was up on Jungfrau. I realised, after being quite hyper in the snow, that I felt really giddy. I felt like I was going to be sick. And several times, when we were back in the building, I had to sit down to ease the feeling. Some of the tour members did throw up, but I was determined not to. It's a mind over matter thing, you know. So I didn't. But the feeling continued until we were chuggind down the slopes on te train, back to where the air was composed of a higher percentage of oxygen. Nonetheless, Jungfrau was the best thing during the trip.

On the remaining days in Europe we went shopping and a little bit more of sightseeing. Milan, Itlay was supposedly a shopping haven, but that's only if you've got stacks of gold stored safely in your bank. Yes, all the branded goods are there, but they still cost a lot. The only branded thing we bought was my sister's birthday present - an Adidas school bag. There are many tourists there... and there were Godfather-like characters on the streets - an old man wearing an expensive-looking coat and holding the leash of an expensive-looking dog. Then there's shopping in Switzerland. We were mainly scouting around for souvenirs and there wasn't much that we could buy. A fridge magnet is approximately 8 SFr, converted to Singapore dollars - $11. And they're mostly horrid looking anyway. The best thing worth buying for people is chocolate.

The watches are great too. We each got new watches, but they're not cheap either. I got a Swatch watch. It's what's called a Swatch skin... with the rubbery type of strap. I just thought it was simple, looks good and will go with whatever I wear. It's labelled summer fashion over there, but apparently it's quite the latest thing over in Singapore. And oh, I saw Eunice's button watch! The exact same model. I got a jacket too, from Bern (another city in Switzerland... in fact, the capital city). And I got the well-known Swiss water bottle! It's white... with killer whales all over.. Haha, it's because it has something to do with WWF. Not the wrestling, the World Wildlife Foundation.

It'd be quite difficult to describe the remaining happenings of my trip. There isn't much to say because it was mostly simple sightseeing and shopping. A bear pit somewhere... lambs ina cage, donkeys... a sculpture... a bridge... a lake... all very beautiful and interesting. But I say the first three days were the best there. And I love snow.

Would I rather stay in Singapore or Switzerland? Oh, I would love to stay in Switzerland... the wonderful weather.. the beautiful scenery right out your window... the cleaner air.. but not forever. Because all the my friends and family are here in Singapore. Unless I can bring everyone over there, there's no point in staying. Furthermore, the food there is no match for asian food! I need chilli! Chilli is my life! I don't kow how they can stand eating what they eat ALL their lives...

When we came home, the first thing we ate was Nasi Rawan. And that alone was enough reason to come back... But I still like Switzerland. And given another chance, OF COURSE I'd go there again. =)

I have watched ROTK twice! I love the movie. It is certainly one of the best movies I have ever seen. I'm more of a HP fan than an LOTR fan but I cannot deny the brilliance of Jackson in executing the movie. It is fantabulous! I wish to watch it again.

Cassie's blog has some really funny stuff about ROTK... Should read it.

Been reading DT again. Got on to DV already but got bored because I seem to know everthing that's going to happen by heart. Much like reading the HP books. I know it so well, it gets boring. So I jump to certain scenes which I can read into for clues and find once again that I really, really hate DT Hermione. Even Blaise is better.

My sis is getting a handphone. Coloured screen. New model, I think. Unfair. My phone has been with me since Sec 1! Well... not that my sis is always changing handphones. She's never had one before this.

Been reading about lucid dreaming, which is briefly, being aware that you're dreaming. And wanted to try it. So one night, I lied down on bed, and willed myself to do so. I kept chanting to myself, "The next scene is going to be a dream and I'm going to know it." I didn't exactly succeed but I think I was well on my way to having my first lucid dream. I was restless the whole of the night. Everytime I dreamt something, I'd wake up. Must have been a total of four times during the night. I recall one of the dreams. In my dream, I thought I was having a lucid dream so I decided to check. I read somewhere that one of the ways of determining whether you're awake or dreaming is switching the lights on. If the there is a delay in the flickering of the light and the turning on of the switch, most likely it's a dream. I was in my parents' room and the television was on. I found myself plugging out all the wires from the wall sockets. But the tv was still playing. I gaped at it. Then my sister came along looking all serious and said something important I can't remember. And then I woke up. For a moment, I was convinced that it was my first lucid dream but then I realised that it couldn't have been. Because my mum and dad were making a racket, cleaning their bedroom toilet at night and when I was dreaming I didn't find that odd at all. If I had been truly conscious, I would have thought them insane.

You see, I was very curious about lucid dreaming and went researching about it. Apparently, lucid dreaming is not something difficult or supernatural as many people assume. It's a matter of controlling your mind. And after that night, I am convinced that if I try again and stay determined about it, I can start having lucid dreams. Every dream that paricular night had been about me feeling confused about where I was, like I was trying to recall something in my dream. And it had mostly been about switches and me playing around with them because I knew that if I did something with those switches, I'd discover that something I'm confused about. It's like my brain is struggling to be conscious in that subconscious state. But despite imminent success, I haven't tried again ever since. Why? I'm scared. That night, I had been restless but at the same time, worried. If I continue doing this, would I ever get a good night's sleep again? Also, in between sleep under my covers, I kept wondering whether I was still dreaming or not and I was half waiting for a monster to pop out of nowhere and scare me. My brain must have been under intense pressure. I might try again sometime... maybe. The prospect of having control of your dreams and the knowledge that nothing can harm you physically whilst you're in them is very intriguing. But... I'm feeling quite uncertain right now.

First, I must say that I'm back in Singapore. Landed a few days ago actually, on Sunday. But as you have noticed, this is the first time I'm updating since my return and it doesn't seem like I'm going to launch on a detailed story about my visit anytime in the next few words. I'm the kind of person who can write only when I feel like writing. And right now, I don't feel like writing about Switerland just yet.

I know Duck would be dying to say "I told you so!" right in my face because she'd predicted I would undoubtedly procrastinate and procrastinate and eventually not write all together. I know I procrastinated... and am still procrastinating, but I really do plan to write about my holiday. So I beg for your patience.

I'm a feeler, I've discovered. Not recently... for a long time, I've known. I'm sensitive, though I really hate to admit it. Apart from being easily hurt, I'm the kind of person that cries if you cry. I recall an incident that is still vivid in my mind though by my standards, I should not be able to since it happened when I was barely six. I was in Primary 1 and one of my classmates did something wrong in class. I fail to specifically remember what his crime was, but whatever it was, he was scolded badly by our teacher. And not very long after that, he started crying. And I almost cried with him! I was all choked up and tearing. Luckily, no one spotted me, I think. Then there's the time at the end of Sec 2 when 205 was sitting in a circle, having sort of a farewell gathering, and Evelyn cried. I think it was more of Evelyn crying continuously that made me follow suit instead of the imminent separation from my friends. If I'm not wrong, another incident included the time when Mumu cried over her MT O results and I cried with her. I couldn't help it. Normally I try to control myself, but sometimes, I can't hold back.

I think part of the reason why it's so much easier for me to just ramble on about my current thoughts and emotions than describe certain things (like Switzerland) is because I'm a feeler. And of course, there's the horrible fact that being a feeler has turned me into a half-zombie, half-human. What I mean to say is that I normally stare off into space. My brother and sister complain to me about it. For instance, when I look at them, I'm not actually LOOKING at them. Turk can easily testify to that. Or one minute I would be talking to them, then I would turn away and stare at something else and they would carry on talking and only realise that my mind is focused elsewhere much later in the conversation. I assure you, this problem is not ALWAYS (though sometimes it is) due to the fact that I am obsessed over blonde-haired guys, contrary to your immediate assumption.

Of course... my analysis of my own personality might be completely off track and that I am in truth, merely a humungous blur blob who cannot keep focus on one thing long enough.

Before I embarass myself any further, I should type what I intended to type before I got steered into the "feeling" discussion. I was thinking, as I went around with my activities today, how much substantial truth there is in the well-liked phrase, "I was born intelligent. Education ruined me." I like it because it gives me more reason to hate school and not do homework. Sometimes when I get fed up, I imagine myself in front of the school staff room, waving a placard, with that particular phrase emblazoned across it, and demonstrating against the destruction of my intelligence. It really relieves a tiny bit of stress and frustration. But to get to the point because my beating about the bush is really getting ridiculous, I've only realised how right that phrase is today. This holiday, ever since secondary school studies are done for good, I have been indulging myself in Lymond and numerous other books. And unaware, I had begun researching little things like Latin phrases, history of the royal families of Europe, the meanings of so many new words and even species of birds (because Dunnett loves to describe the scenery in absolute detail), all without being forced! I was actually gaining knowledge because I wanted to. I even attempted to learn French using my brother's dictionary! Perhaps the reason I was so enthusiastic is due to the fact that it is about Lymond, but still! If only education would leave us alone and let us explore things on our own. I would be much more well-read by now, I'm positive. Forcing information down our throats only makes us throw it back out again. Let us have the satisfaction of discovering stuff on our own and we would treasure knowledge. Haven't you ever heard about the children of professors who receive private tuition from their parents? They end up being qualified for university long before public school students. It's because their smart parents understand the nasty side effects of education and their thirst for knowledge is preserved. Too bad my parents aren't Ph.D holders or the equivalents.

Do you know what I did today? I was reading a Mensa book! I was so absorbed with this chapter about logic and venn diagrams that I actually didn't get bored. And after that, I began reading an encyclopaedia on brains titled, "Making the Most of Your Brain". And as I was reading, the reality of what I was doing hit me. And so I came to ponder about the aforementioned phrase.

When you think about it, it really is no wonder that Singapore has not produced any Nobel prize winners. We don't have enough people who have that thirst for knowledge. Most of it is squeezed out during the stressful school years. By the time people finish studying at whatever tertiary institution they attend, the one thing they want to do is burn all their textbook notes and declare liberty from tests and exams. What's the chance that there are individuals who are all for the government's Life-long Learning Programme, adding in the fact that Singapore is a small island nation with a small population out of which only a small portion succeed to graduate with a degree.

How sad. I am, from now on, going to consciously make an effort to be interested in topics out of the textbook and not let education ruin me.

Sister is pestering me to play Worms with her.

Went out for the whole of today. Am absolutely EXHAUSTED.

Don't have the mental strength to write. Leaving tomorrow.

Just want to say that I will bring my written diary there and all my entries in it, regarding Switzerland, will be transferred here. So that my readers can read about my Swiss experience.

Of all the times that a flu virus could hit Europe, why does it have to be now?!

Of all the times the Straits Times could have featured an article on flu and informed the public that a vaccine has to be administered at least a week earlier, why does it have to be THREE days before I fly off to said infected area? WHY?! WHY?! WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!

I have observed throughout my short life, that when you really want something badly, there is always some obstacle blocking your path to that particular heart's desire. Is it because God wants to make our life more interesting? Or is it because he wants to make us appreciate what we achieved more since if we achieved what we wanted, it's only after overcoming so many obstacles?

Either way, please let me have a good holiday and go and come back safe! I have been looking forward to this for a very, very long time. And we almost didn't decide to go to Switzerland in the first place because my aunt said that it would be freezing cold and my family had a debate on where to go for the hols. After that obstacle was over, there was the issue of too little people singing up for the tour and they having to cancel it all together but since the final number is 29, that has been settled too. AND NOW, this bloody flu virus has to evolve! STUPID, IDIOTIC FUJIAN VIRUS! Stop killing little innocent children and let me enjoy my vacation!!! Why can't you decide whether you're an organism or not first before you start killing people!

I swear that if I don't get to go to for this much longed for holiday, I'll cry my eyes out. It's just horrible to have such high hopes and have them shattered. People say the higher you hope, the harder you fall. But I can't help going ecstatic with happiness at the prospect of going to Switzerland, right? Hello! It's the place where our Ms Alma Mater wanted to be, it's the place usually seen in pretty postcards, it's the place with fair laws and direct democracy, the nation of compromise and accomodation, the country of neutrality and the place of the Alps. If the Swiss people read this, they might say, "Our country's not all that it's hyped up to be..." and think I'm overreacting, but I don't care. Stepping into Switzerland has always been on my list of things to do in life, even before Social Studies began. So I desperately want to get there...

(I suddenly remembered this fic in which the author wrote with the impression that Europe is a country instead of a continent. So when Draco brought Ginny to a Dragon Race that was in Europe, Ginny was described as never having been to Europe before! And she is actually a European. Haha...)

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I watched Love Actually yesterday and I liked it a lot. :) It's a feel good movie and now I get what Cassie meant when she mentioned "sensitive men in sweaters" in her blog. And though Hugh Grant was wearing a suit, he was a sensitive man too. Haha.

It's all very sweet and funny. And I especially liked Colin Firth's bit in which he tried to proclaim his love in Portuguese and got words like "honesty" and "transparency", and "marry" and "marriage" mixed up... so cute! Then there was the Carl guy, who was soooooo gorgeous! I think if he had green eyes under those glasses, he could pass up as an adult Harry. He looked fabulatastic in his sweater. But his love story wasn't concluded properly though... Liam Neeson's part with his stepson was really very adorable - A 12 year-old finding the love of his life. There was a Titanic (Yes, with Leo, Kate and ship) bit in it too. Kiera Knightley's part was really very teeny and her part of the story was quite sad - unrequited love, you see. All in all... it was a great, collection of love stories.

Most girls will love it. There were a bunch of St Nicholas' girls in the theatre and they kept 'squeeing'. They squealed when Carl took off his sweater and that made me slap my forehead in shame of the behaviour of certain girls these days. I mean, I think he's handsome but I don't make it heard and squeal out loud in the theatre! Control yourself, people!

The ending was a bit like an advertisement for Singapore's Romancing Campaign. I felt like I was sitting through a brainwash programme or something... And I was going, "Er...", and kept glancing around at how the other people were taking it. But I suppose the filmmakers were just trying to prove that love actually is all around.

Nice. Go watch it!

The worst kind of feeling is... confusion. Feeling confused is worse than feeling depressed. Because if you feel depressed, at least you can pinpoint the reason why you're so and try to get over it. Unless of course you feel depressed AND confused. Now, that's a major problem.

When I get confused, I get angry as well. I have no idea what to do. Normally, I feel like screaming or crying. Then I'll just lay on my back on my bed and stare at the ceiling, wishing that things could be different. Or I'll just try to detach myself from my problems and think about other things - things that have nothing to do with me. Like stories or books or movies. So that I can forget about the issue that's making me confused.

Being idle is bad for your mental health, I think. Once I have nothing to do, like today, I'll start thinking about big questions and looking at big pictures and wonder why I do certain useless things. Then I'll start getting confused. Then I'll lie on my bed, like I said, and try to forget about it.

Isn't all of these very confusing?

My handphone is beeping endlessly. Incoming SMS. Wonder why...

Alma Mater is over. I can't believe time flies so fast.

I am once again furiously trying to download photos and video footage. I need to clear all the tape cassettes for Switzerland.

Sandhya won the Alma Mater pageant!!! I thought it very amusing that the one place she wanted to be was Switzerland. And I was thinking, "I'm going there! I'm going there very soon, this-very-week soon!" Haha. My family went for the tour briefing without me last night. My sis told me the number of people has increased from 11 to 29. Now, how did THAT happen?

Not that big tour groups are all that bad, but... small groups are nicer. And she says there are many kids. Oh no. OH NO.