What shall I say about today? Hm. Got to Ghufran Mosque earlier than usual, I thought, but we ended up at the 7th row (usually it's the 3rd) of the female section. The khutbah (i.e. sermon) was about the usual "How well did we spend Ramadhan?" and this year, I'm glad to see less people just up and leave the moment they're done with prayers. More stayed to listen. And oh, there was a humungous wasp in the congregation for a while that had me crouching close to my sister and covering my face with my telekung. :P

Food was more than enough, also as is per normal. Ketupats, lepats, rendang, lodeh, sambal goreng, sambal prawns, my mum's meat cake, babat and more.

At Cik An's place, Insyirah was cute for a while and I played with her, but then she started crying.

And then got to Babawok's place which was crowded like crazy, the way it is every year. I was so tired and despite the unbearable heat and humidity, I dozed off a little. Our photo-taking session at the end was fun and crazy though. I'm trying to decide if I'll put some up here or in facebook or not at all.

Ja! Still have visiting to do tomorrow. And my brain is somewhat fried.

---

My rose-tinted spectacles got shattered today too. Again, I should say. Mou. :( When will I stop letting fluff take over my brain.

Fan Raving

1) I watched Becky on Himitsu no Arashi-chan (ep 63, to anyone who might want to look it up) last night (thanks to Duckie's link) and omg, it's one of the most hysterical episodes ever. Sis and I were seriously screaming and screeching in laughter! XD Even now, if I think of any part of it, I smile helplessly.

Main highlight: she said her ideal kiss was the HYD Season 1 kiss; when Makino chased after Domyouji's plane and she confessed her love and he hugged her mid-sentence and they kissed with the sunset in the background -- and they actually played that scene during the show and Becky KYAA-ed like on the spot, and omgosh, it was hysterically funny and adorable. MatsuJun was kind of embarrassed to watch it again -- it was so funny!

I'm so syncing this to my iPod. :P

2) After watching last night's episode, I was on such a high and I wondered for the millionth time how Arashi can be made of so much awesome. This miraculously amazing combination of five personalities - gosh. They are so lovable, at times I feel like squishing them. Oh, Arashi. You are so wonderful that I sometimes resent my love for NEWS. How mad is that.

3) Visited dramacrazy.net to check if the Buzzer Beat finale was up (not yet, meh.) and realised next season's Jdramas have been finalised. I got really excited because OMGOSH!!! @.@ They're doing Liar Game Season 2!!!!!!!! I watched Season 1 in my really, really early days of fangirling, and yes, it was repetitive and majorly flawed in many ways, but it rocked in terms of characterisation so man, I AM EXCITED to see Matsuda Shota being cool again, please. He was this uber-smart badass just released from jail and Toda Erika played a naive, honest girl he decided to deign to help. And their pairing was not explored!!! Please do in the second season. You have to.

4) Other Jdramas to consider checking: Aiba's My Girl! He's gonna play a dad! And Miura Haruma in Samurai Seventeen -- basically a high school dude who realises he has samurai powers or stg like that? Whatever, sword-wielding heroes are always my cup of tea! :) And Miura Haruma wasn't bad in Bloody Monday (I didn't finish the drama but he was likeable).

5) Maki's Hollywood-directed movie, Nakushita Kioku, which stars Tego and MatsuKen, has, I hear, been postponed for release in spring next year. :(

okay, done.

I'm recalling moments from last sem now, when there were eight of us in Drug Design class and virtually all of us were so incredibly blur on how to use the Rapidminer software to build our machine-learning model. It was a hysterical time. Funny and stressful. Machine-learning, just in case you're curious, is a method where predictions are made not based on the understanding of process or mechanism but from already known data. So for example: say I don't know why some things are poisonous and why some are not, but I know what these things are. I want to be able to tell if something else I come across is poisonous or not, regardless -- so I build a model/system that tries to predict just by the examples that I do know. Does this make sense?

I should let Eunice explain, since it's her FYP project. :P

Anyway, I'm remembering all this because I have another software to contend with for FYP -- called Cell Designer -- and I feel really stupid right now, because I can't even draw a freaking reaction arrow for a protein interaction! >:| It's like... UGGGH. The arrow refuses to materialise! Why isn't it easy and simple like in Microsoft Word.

And I cannot see the big picture of my project very well. I hate it when all my thoughts are in pieces and I cannot see what all my efforts are leading to. It makes me feel like tearing up things in frustration. I shall wake up tomorrow and do a mind map when I'm in a better state of mind. -.-

That is, if I have any time amidst all the nagging I'm anticipating from my mum tomorrow. The house will be turned upside down cause raya is on Sunday and we are supposed to be cleaning and marketing and more. And my room is still a mess -- I don't know what to do. D: how to juggle!

Stress aside: anyway, in case I don't come here tomorrow or the day after, Eid Mubarak! :)))

...the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “This community of mine is a community blessed with mercy. It is not punished in the Hereafter. Instead, it is punished in this world with strife, instability, and bloodshed.” [Musnad Ahmad, Sunan Abî Dâwûd, and Mustadrak al-Hâkim]

"Useful knowledge is that which makes you grow in the fear of Allah, increases you in awareness of your defects, deepens your knowledge of the worship of your Lord Most High, decreases your desire for this world and increases your desire for the life to come, and opens your eyes to the defects of your actions so that you guard against them."

-Imam Ghazali

I ate a pineapple tart yesterday, since raya is coming and all and my mum is slowly but surely stacking up the bottles of kuih in the kitchen. But this wasn't any pineapple tart. This was my aunt's famous ones. The moment I put them in my mouth -- nyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. Sweetness and nostalgia. I am brought back to Cik Nah's old house with those marble floors and I'm five years old or something and sitting next to the jar of pineapple tarts. The taste is awesome; the most amazing tarts in the world to me. There are such things, right? Wonderful little things that bring back sweet memories just by their taste or smell or sight.

Life is really made wonderful by the little things, I'm thinking.

Like tonight, the fact that, yes! I finally found a nice, new NEWS desktop background and arranged all my icons nicely, makes me happy.

And because I am so far gone in fandom, I'm now actually recalling something Pi said in his nikki (or was it his seventeen column?) in relation to this. He said, how people have such big dreams and big ambitions and big desires all the time, they tend to forget the beautiful little things they should be grateful for. See why I love this boy? How can he be so famous and everything and still be so good and humble? Unless he's faking it, of course. He can't be faking it! :( That'd make me so sad.

I was on the bus home today, and I was just daydreaming out the window as I am wont to do, and literally felt my anxieties deflate in size. Because again, I'd learnt to take perspective. And I realise that hey, so what if I don't take the supposed obvious route to supposed perceptions of success? I am truly, truly content with taking my own little steps at a time. Yes, I have my weaknesses but recognising them has helped me grow. And that as long as I know my own worth, then it doesn't matter at all. Because God would know me too. (Better than me, I should say.) It made me smile, just thinking that.

And that all I have to do is give my best.

These days, I'm really starting to appreciate the true meaning of Islam; utter submission to Allah.

Because I am random, as I have said many times, I want to paste a picture of Maki! God. I miss her. And it's worse than loving JE because she doesn't release albums or whatnot so we don't get to see her as much if she isn't in a drama. And man, there's just something about her, see?

It's relatively easy to find pretty faces I suppose, but to be able to photograph like this? Her photos are all so nggggh, gorgeous. Why does she have such wonderful expressions? It gives her photos depth. I keep ridiculously thinking I want to be Maki when I grow up, but of course I'm supposed to be grown up (meh!) and she's actually a year younger than me. :P But oh, how are you so elegant and graceful and I'm always the clumsy silly girl.

Mouuuuu. D:

Am so unbearably weak against distractions. Been trying to work on that pairwork Prof Chen gave us, but seriously -- this is super tedious and I just want (food.) to do something else! I need an energy source.

I've been contemplating on whether to put up this video here, for a long time now. But I rewatched the last part of the speech again, and it always manages to make me cry, and so I've decided it deserves to be on my blog.

It's a little something about the personal experiences of a man who finally embraced Islam. Watch it from beginning to end if you like - part one is linked to this one via youtube. Go watch! It's not boring at all.

Only 8 nights left of Ramadhan! :(

OMG TEGOSHI AND IMOTO ARE THE FUNNIEST THING. XD



Basically, Imoto has this supposed on-going on-screen crush with Tegoshi and it is often teased about every time their variety show ItteQ airs. Like, the hosts would ask Tego, So what did you think of Imoto in the bikini? or Imoto, you want to hug Tego right! Imoto is of course made out to be this really uncouth schoolgirl character, with unbelievably thick eyebrows, and her supposed pairing with pretty JE boy Tego is simply a source of amazing comic relief. The way Tego always tries to get around her overt advances are just hilarious to watch.

And this one is one of my favourites! Imoto asks (leaning into his personal space as she does so) if Tego can kiss her when she finishes her marathon for 24HRTV -- and Tego leans away from her and says, "Can you ask through my talent agency please?" HAHAHAHA. XD Omg, seriously.

I gave up on my stats tutorial for tonight and this is what I do. :P

This was done completely on impulse because I am currently in love with this song. (Credit goes to my sister for introducing the song - she insists. -_-) And everytime I listen, I feel happy. And I think of my friends and the lovely people I know. So yes, despite the fact that I actually have proper work to do, I just had to do this. And this video is by no means a documentation of all my friends. God knows I lost all my photos prior to 2008 anyway, due to a computer crash (so all images of RJ and RG are gone! sad, I know.), and I realise I really don't have photos of some very important people. Also, this was meant to be random, and all photos are either pictures of happy people or happy things or anything that has its theme in friendship.

And here's the complete english translation of Together by Monkey Majik:

if I were to grow wings on my back
i want to convey to you right now
this overflowing happiness

riding in the swaying wind
in the glittering light of the future
together, forever

this scenery that i've been seeing in my dream
if you try to make your ears listen carefully to the harmony
"is it ok? is this path correct?"
I was always shaken by anxiety

without even looking back
I've come quite a long way
more than anything else, changing too much, too fast
it's never gonna stop, we'll keep it on top
and be together

if I were to grow wings on my back
i want to convey to you right now
this overflowing happiness

riding in the swaying wind
in the glittering light of the future
together, forever

I got this feeling deep inside me
it's a miracle, this miracle of our meeting
I don't believe that I'm alone
you tried to tell me and now i see
you've always understood
but now i've opened up my heart
I can't wait to hold you in my arms

if I was able to look back
would have I been able to come this far?
more than anything else, changing too much, too fast
it's never gonna stop, we'll keep it on top
and be together

if I were to grow wings on my back
i want to convey to you right now
this overflowing happiness

riding in the quivering wind
in the glittering light of the future
together, forever

try to walk away
always from the same ol' day
every little step I take
becomes my own

this feeling won't change, won't fade away
one more time
you are the one for me
you are the only one

the sky that spreads out in front of my eyes
i want to convey it to you right now
this nostalgic joy

with you forever
this future i've tried to forget
together forever
forever

i remember the enjoyable days
forever

(Source)

I am happy tonight. Because I had a hard day, but I had wonderful people to help make it all the better. They didn't have to do anything, they just had to be there, and it's all the better.

And watching 24 hour tv is just really good exercise for the heart and mind. Work hard and live proud. :) That should be one of the axioms of life.

There's nothing to cry over in this vid -- it's NEWS saying some last comments and singing Weeek (the audio's really bad I think, cause even Tego sounded weird!) but I cried anyway! Don't know -- maybe cause I'm seriously in need of encouragement tonight and their words moved me. But maybe it's cause I'm happy for NEWS too. :))) Yay, guys, you did awesome. I totally expected Koyama to tear in the show, and Yamapi too and even when Shige started almost full-out bawling (haha!), I wasn't surprised. (Although I was half-embarrassed for him. :P) But it was Tego that did it for me! Adorable, normally self-absorbed Tego was struggling against tears when Imoto finally finished her crazy long marathon of 120+ km for charity. (And he hugged her like he promised!) Aw, Tego. You have a wonderful heart too. <3

I have these moments when I wonder if I have a split personality. Don't you? Like you wonder how you could be such an emotional fool at that point in time, or how you could even think in such a manner. I go like, Why??? What is wrong with me? It doesn't make sense!

Life has a lot of things that don't make sense. Yet? Maybe some day we'll know. Ooh, I'm remembering that song!

Some day you will know
If love can move a mountain
Some day you will know
Why the sky is blue
Some day you will know
That I was the one for you...

I'm in the Science computer lab now, trying to edit my aunt's seven-page essay for her. Editing is not such an easy task, especially if you feel compelled to just revamp the entire thing and make it prettier. Prettier in the sense of prettier and more descriptive words.

Gah, my brain is drawing blanks right now. Tired. Not sure why, but just a little tired.

My Sinbad, Shipwrecks and Singapore USP module has a term paper, which is better called a novella. Basically, I'm supposed to write up a fictional essay on any one of the characters that could possibly have been around in the 9th century, in connection to the ship that would sink off the coast of Sumatra in appx. 832 AD, near Belitung Island. Not only is this a wonderful narrative the likes of which I haven't attempted in years - but at moments, I get totally excited because hello, I am ultimately attempting a piece of historical fiction! How awesome is this. And I realise that throughout the term, we're all basically doing research for it - looking at cracked pots from the shipwreck and reading about Srivijaya and Buddhist monks and Arabs and Persians in China (who were locally called ta-xi and po-si respectively) - it's all in preparation for the story.

You know, USP modules may be hard and troublesome and endangering to my CAP, but little experiences like this go a long way, I think. At least they stay longer in my memory.

Okay, back to work!

I've always thought coffee never affected me much, no matter how much I love and drink it. Then last night, I drank some and ended up not sleeping till nearly 4 am. Zzzz. ZONKED. Me and sis were chatting in the dark for near two hours, about anything and everything. Until she was like, "Eh, what time is it???" And I was @.@ - "I have no idea, but very late."

I don't know how some sisters can be so different and I wonder how they get along. Me and sis are so similar in many ways - I don't know if it's a result of being close to each other, or being close is a result of our matching personalities. Hm. Maybe the two reinforce each other.

I was randomly mentioning last night of a memory I had when we were all younger and my siblings and I told our parents we wished that time would stand still. I think I was 9 and we were in Australia for the first time (on a trip with the uncles and cousins) and I remember us saying that that was the absolute best time of our lives. We didn't want to grow up. We had each other and it was so fun and we had our cousins we played with every time and anything different from that status quo would fall short.

And yesterday I realised, It's kinda true. :( Look now. It's all different. And I think I'm the one feeling it most. I think I might cry. Oh, the loss of innocence.

I had iftar with my primary school friends just now. A few of them, I hadn't seen in 10 years! XD It's just so amazing to meet people again after a long time. Yes, we're all a little taller, a little better groomed and a little more mature, but essentially we're all the same, it makes me want to smile non-stop for some reason.

Like, the cutest boy is still the cutest boy, the funny guy is still the funny guy, the weirdo is still adorably weird and our personalities, I'm thinking, are set in stone or something. Take Yus, for instance. She had always been the sportiest girl and tomboy-ish to the core, and look now - she's climbing mountains. Shahirah - loved reading books and was a pet in English class and she graduated as an English major. :)) I don't know - it's like a beautiful familiarity somehow.

I have a year left of school and a part of me is already dreading the end of it. No, it's not like I'm in love with NUS. It's more that I'm afraid of that crazy vastness that is the world out there, in which I feel I'm certain to get lost. I feel like the water's getting deep and I don't know if I can swim.

I came across this line while reading The Game of Thrones today:

"Beric Dondarrion was handsome enough, but he was awfully old,
almost twenty-two;"

I almost choked in laughing disbelief. XD Yes, I suppose to a 13-year-old, a 22-year-old is ancient, but still! Gosh.

Yesterday, whilst working on my seemingly never-ending task of putting together Kak Atiyah's wedding guestbook (I should learn to say no to people, no matter how painful, really. It's such a disease.), I rewatched episodes 3 and 4 of Nobuta wo Produce.

I was thinking about the Truth Man. In the show, there was a brief appearance of a strange character called the Truth Man and basically he would chase random people down and extort the truth from them. There is no specification as to what truth he demands, just simply the truth. And he would badger you and 'torment' you and he would not quit you till you gave him the truth. Of course, Akira gets accosted by this Truth Man at the end of episode 4 and at first he runs screaming from him (haha, Pi is seriously hilarious as Akira) but then gives in and confesses that he likes Nobuta so that the Truth Man would leave him. And after that, he was all like "Eh, I like her???" And it's so cute and all because next episode he tells Shuji he wants to quit producing Nobuta cause he doesn't want to share her with other people. <3

Anyway, I just thought the Truth Man idea was very smart - the truth , until you admit it to yourself, will eat away at you and torture you. The truth, as indeed the Truth Man demonstrated, will set you free.

Heh, I feel like I'm doing literature. :P But seriously, I love the themes and symbolism of Nobuta. Even to little things like the lighting of the show play a part - I love how when Shuji walks through the corridor, and he's thinking and being himself, the light dims and the sounds of his school fade away and you get the sense that he's playing this dual role - the real him, who thinks everything he's doing is kinda crap, and the popular him. And when some chattering girls accost him, reality comes flooding back and everything is colourful and noisy again, and we see Shuji back in his smiling public persona of all-popular high school boy.

I love how one can take little bits of Nobuta like that, and analyse them piece by piece. I don't get why the JEPCast (Johnny's Entertainment Podcast) refused to do it back when someone suggested it. JEPCast has a drama section where they review a drama, episode by episode, and the reason I knew JEPCast was cause one of the first dramas they covered was Kurosagi. When someone suggested Nobuta they said, if I'm not mistaken, that there was not enough interest in it and there was not much to delve into, and unless someone convinced them otherwise, they would work on other shows first. Needless to say, I was like this: O_O. Nobuta is filled to the brim with issues to discuss.

My sister, of course, doesn't give a toot to what the JEPCast people say because she quite dislikes them because of the irritating way they'd accent Japanese words. Seriously, they'd butcher names, so that Arashi gets pronouced as "Uh-RAA-she" and Takki gets called "tackey". Not to mention the annoying manner of some American conversationalists to include the word "like" every 10 words or so and end a sentence as a question, no matter the nature of the statement: "Like, I was so excited???" I get seriously tickled by it all.

Okay, functional genomics class - got to go!

Work is building up slowly like a storm. I can feel it. @.@ Yesterday, could barely understand a thing in my stats lecture. I have to make myself sit down with the textbook and get this or die. Not to mention that FYP is hovering like a cloud over my head -- I've been told what to do, but I haven't got around to doing it, and already, the prospect of looking up kinetic constants and reaction equations is scaring the frak out of me. I shall keep calm and try hard. I can do this!

Away from school, I've been wanting a number of things.

1) This backpack I saw at Tampines1 and been eyeing since. :S I've been chewing myself over it for a long time now.

2) TegoMasu no Uta album!!!! So far, I haven't seen it in stores in Singapore. And I just want it so bad. I realised that my top favourite JE songs are TegoMasu songs. This is one of their tracks in the album -- they sound awesome live. (And here's a clip with subs!)

I've had a little lull in spirits. And been a little busy with other things. So this place was neglected for a while. I've always thought how this blog gives the impression that I don't do anything besides spaz and ramble... but it's cause I just don't find joy in mundanely recounting my daily life happenings, unless they've truly moved me in some way that I feel compelled to share, and the event's something I feel open enough to share about. So yes, am not going to say what has happened in my life recently, haha. I have just been a bit preoccupied with other things. Quite memorable things.

Anyway, just tonight my sister and me were talking randomly:

I think it's guys that make relationships difficult, you know. Like you know, the girl has to be beautiful. No such thing as a guy admitting he likes a girl for her personality or virtues. If you watch movies or read books, the girl just has to be beautiful. If she ain't beautiful, she can't be the girl!

So what happens to the ugly girls then?

They just die.


XD HAHAHAHAHA. After that, I laughed like crazy. Gosh.

A short vid about the greatness that is Prophet Muhammad, Rasulullah s.a.w..



Another one:

A little documentary about the truth behind the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. And it's made by an Israeli Jew too. It's a bit slow and muffled at some parts, but still watchable.

Come and educate yourself, please. Don't just swallow media propaganda.

(The other parts are linked under the same user.)

I just rewatched the first episode of Ryusei no Kizuna. :) It still made me laugh. And it still made me cry. And I'm putting up a review of Ryusei I wrote for my sis earlier this year (she used it for her Jap club exhibit or stg).

Ryusei no Kizuna (Meteor Bonds), based on the novel by famous mystery writer, Keigo Higashino, begins with the murder of a married couple. Blessedly, their children were out of the house at the time of the incident, having snuck out in the middle of the night to watch meteors. The three siblings returned home to find their parents dead, and their lives altered forever. The story fast forwards to the Ariake siblings as young adults, still haunted by their parents' yet unsolved muder case. Vowing to avenge the injustice done to their family, the Ariake siblings team up and in desperation, attempt various means and schemes to uncover the true killer before the Statute of Limitations puts a close to the police's murder investigation and the chance for them to confront their past.

Despite the rather dark and bleak premise of the plot, Ryusei no Kizuna has a surprising light-heartedness that makes watching a pleasure, even for non-mystery lovers. Screenwriter Kudo Kankuro, known for his unusual story-telling techniques, puts his brand of humour into the drama, creating fast-changing scenes and comical narratives. Indeed, there is rarely a scene that feels dragged out or out of place. The dialogue is riddled with laugh-out-loud punch lines and the crazy swindling schemes of the Ariake siblings - involving several cosplaying attempts - provide much amusement. More than all that however, is the amazing sibling chemistry between the three main actors. Viewers will most likely relate to the very natural sibling squabbles and interactions played by Ninomiya Kazunari (of the award-winning Letters from Iwo Jima), Nishikido Ryo and Toda Erika, which were always entertaining, occasionally heart-warming and more than once, tear-jerking. Ryusei no Kizuna, while driven by its mystery plot, is at its heart and as the title suggests, a wonderful portrayal of sibling love and the strength of family.