I'm recalling moments from last sem now, when there were eight of us in Drug Design class and virtually all of us were so incredibly blur on how to use the Rapidminer software to build our machine-learning model. It was a hysterical time. Funny and stressful. Machine-learning, just in case you're curious, is a method where predictions are made not based on the understanding of process or mechanism but from already known data. So for example: say I don't know why some things are poisonous and why some are not, but I know what these things are. I want to be able to tell if something else I come across is poisonous or not, regardless -- so I build a model/system that tries to predict just by the examples that I do know. Does this make sense?

I should let Eunice explain, since it's her FYP project. :P

Anyway, I'm remembering all this because I have another software to contend with for FYP -- called Cell Designer -- and I feel really stupid right now, because I can't even draw a freaking reaction arrow for a protein interaction! >:| It's like... UGGGH. The arrow refuses to materialise! Why isn't it easy and simple like in Microsoft Word.

And I cannot see the big picture of my project very well. I hate it when all my thoughts are in pieces and I cannot see what all my efforts are leading to. It makes me feel like tearing up things in frustration. I shall wake up tomorrow and do a mind map when I'm in a better state of mind. -.-

That is, if I have any time amidst all the nagging I'm anticipating from my mum tomorrow. The house will be turned upside down cause raya is on Sunday and we are supposed to be cleaning and marketing and more. And my room is still a mess -- I don't know what to do. D: how to juggle!

Stress aside: anyway, in case I don't come here tomorrow or the day after, Eid Mubarak! :)))

...the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “This community of mine is a community blessed with mercy. It is not punished in the Hereafter. Instead, it is punished in this world with strife, instability, and bloodshed.” [Musnad Ahmad, Sunan Abî Dâwûd, and Mustadrak al-Hâkim]

"Useful knowledge is that which makes you grow in the fear of Allah, increases you in awareness of your defects, deepens your knowledge of the worship of your Lord Most High, decreases your desire for this world and increases your desire for the life to come, and opens your eyes to the defects of your actions so that you guard against them."

-Imam Ghazali

I ate a pineapple tart yesterday, since raya is coming and all and my mum is slowly but surely stacking up the bottles of kuih in the kitchen. But this wasn't any pineapple tart. This was my aunt's famous ones. The moment I put them in my mouth -- nyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. Sweetness and nostalgia. I am brought back to Cik Nah's old house with those marble floors and I'm five years old or something and sitting next to the jar of pineapple tarts. The taste is awesome; the most amazing tarts in the world to me. There are such things, right? Wonderful little things that bring back sweet memories just by their taste or smell or sight.

Life is really made wonderful by the little things, I'm thinking.

Like tonight, the fact that, yes! I finally found a nice, new NEWS desktop background and arranged all my icons nicely, makes me happy.

And because I am so far gone in fandom, I'm now actually recalling something Pi said in his nikki (or was it his seventeen column?) in relation to this. He said, how people have such big dreams and big ambitions and big desires all the time, they tend to forget the beautiful little things they should be grateful for. See why I love this boy? How can he be so famous and everything and still be so good and humble? Unless he's faking it, of course. He can't be faking it! :( That'd make me so sad.

I was on the bus home today, and I was just daydreaming out the window as I am wont to do, and literally felt my anxieties deflate in size. Because again, I'd learnt to take perspective. And I realise that hey, so what if I don't take the supposed obvious route to supposed perceptions of success? I am truly, truly content with taking my own little steps at a time. Yes, I have my weaknesses but recognising them has helped me grow. And that as long as I know my own worth, then it doesn't matter at all. Because God would know me too. (Better than me, I should say.) It made me smile, just thinking that.

And that all I have to do is give my best.

These days, I'm really starting to appreciate the true meaning of Islam; utter submission to Allah.

Because I am random, as I have said many times, I want to paste a picture of Maki! God. I miss her. And it's worse than loving JE because she doesn't release albums or whatnot so we don't get to see her as much if she isn't in a drama. And man, there's just something about her, see?

It's relatively easy to find pretty faces I suppose, but to be able to photograph like this? Her photos are all so nggggh, gorgeous. Why does she have such wonderful expressions? It gives her photos depth. I keep ridiculously thinking I want to be Maki when I grow up, but of course I'm supposed to be grown up (meh!) and she's actually a year younger than me. :P But oh, how are you so elegant and graceful and I'm always the clumsy silly girl.

Mouuuuu. D:

Am so unbearably weak against distractions. Been trying to work on that pairwork Prof Chen gave us, but seriously -- this is super tedious and I just want (food.) to do something else! I need an energy source.

I've been contemplating on whether to put up this video here, for a long time now. But I rewatched the last part of the speech again, and it always manages to make me cry, and so I've decided it deserves to be on my blog.

It's a little something about the personal experiences of a man who finally embraced Islam. Watch it from beginning to end if you like - part one is linked to this one via youtube. Go watch! It's not boring at all.

Only 8 nights left of Ramadhan! :(

OMG TEGOSHI AND IMOTO ARE THE FUNNIEST THING. XD



Basically, Imoto has this supposed on-going on-screen crush with Tegoshi and it is often teased about every time their variety show ItteQ airs. Like, the hosts would ask Tego, So what did you think of Imoto in the bikini? or Imoto, you want to hug Tego right! Imoto is of course made out to be this really uncouth schoolgirl character, with unbelievably thick eyebrows, and her supposed pairing with pretty JE boy Tego is simply a source of amazing comic relief. The way Tego always tries to get around her overt advances are just hilarious to watch.

And this one is one of my favourites! Imoto asks (leaning into his personal space as she does so) if Tego can kiss her when she finishes her marathon for 24HRTV -- and Tego leans away from her and says, "Can you ask through my talent agency please?" HAHAHAHA. XD Omg, seriously.

I gave up on my stats tutorial for tonight and this is what I do. :P

This was done completely on impulse because I am currently in love with this song. (Credit goes to my sister for introducing the song - she insists. -_-) And everytime I listen, I feel happy. And I think of my friends and the lovely people I know. So yes, despite the fact that I actually have proper work to do, I just had to do this. And this video is by no means a documentation of all my friends. God knows I lost all my photos prior to 2008 anyway, due to a computer crash (so all images of RJ and RG are gone! sad, I know.), and I realise I really don't have photos of some very important people. Also, this was meant to be random, and all photos are either pictures of happy people or happy things or anything that has its theme in friendship.

And here's the complete english translation of Together by Monkey Majik:

if I were to grow wings on my back
i want to convey to you right now
this overflowing happiness

riding in the swaying wind
in the glittering light of the future
together, forever

this scenery that i've been seeing in my dream
if you try to make your ears listen carefully to the harmony
"is it ok? is this path correct?"
I was always shaken by anxiety

without even looking back
I've come quite a long way
more than anything else, changing too much, too fast
it's never gonna stop, we'll keep it on top
and be together

if I were to grow wings on my back
i want to convey to you right now
this overflowing happiness

riding in the swaying wind
in the glittering light of the future
together, forever

I got this feeling deep inside me
it's a miracle, this miracle of our meeting
I don't believe that I'm alone
you tried to tell me and now i see
you've always understood
but now i've opened up my heart
I can't wait to hold you in my arms

if I was able to look back
would have I been able to come this far?
more than anything else, changing too much, too fast
it's never gonna stop, we'll keep it on top
and be together

if I were to grow wings on my back
i want to convey to you right now
this overflowing happiness

riding in the quivering wind
in the glittering light of the future
together, forever

try to walk away
always from the same ol' day
every little step I take
becomes my own

this feeling won't change, won't fade away
one more time
you are the one for me
you are the only one

the sky that spreads out in front of my eyes
i want to convey it to you right now
this nostalgic joy

with you forever
this future i've tried to forget
together forever
forever

i remember the enjoyable days
forever

(Source)

I am happy tonight. Because I had a hard day, but I had wonderful people to help make it all the better. They didn't have to do anything, they just had to be there, and it's all the better.

And watching 24 hour tv is just really good exercise for the heart and mind. Work hard and live proud. :) That should be one of the axioms of life.

There's nothing to cry over in this vid -- it's NEWS saying some last comments and singing Weeek (the audio's really bad I think, cause even Tego sounded weird!) but I cried anyway! Don't know -- maybe cause I'm seriously in need of encouragement tonight and their words moved me. But maybe it's cause I'm happy for NEWS too. :))) Yay, guys, you did awesome. I totally expected Koyama to tear in the show, and Yamapi too and even when Shige started almost full-out bawling (haha!), I wasn't surprised. (Although I was half-embarrassed for him. :P) But it was Tego that did it for me! Adorable, normally self-absorbed Tego was struggling against tears when Imoto finally finished her crazy long marathon of 120+ km for charity. (And he hugged her like he promised!) Aw, Tego. You have a wonderful heart too. <3

I have these moments when I wonder if I have a split personality. Don't you? Like you wonder how you could be such an emotional fool at that point in time, or how you could even think in such a manner. I go like, Why??? What is wrong with me? It doesn't make sense!

Life has a lot of things that don't make sense. Yet? Maybe some day we'll know. Ooh, I'm remembering that song!

Some day you will know
If love can move a mountain
Some day you will know
Why the sky is blue
Some day you will know
That I was the one for you...

I'm in the Science computer lab now, trying to edit my aunt's seven-page essay for her. Editing is not such an easy task, especially if you feel compelled to just revamp the entire thing and make it prettier. Prettier in the sense of prettier and more descriptive words.

Gah, my brain is drawing blanks right now. Tired. Not sure why, but just a little tired.

My Sinbad, Shipwrecks and Singapore USP module has a term paper, which is better called a novella. Basically, I'm supposed to write up a fictional essay on any one of the characters that could possibly have been around in the 9th century, in connection to the ship that would sink off the coast of Sumatra in appx. 832 AD, near Belitung Island. Not only is this a wonderful narrative the likes of which I haven't attempted in years - but at moments, I get totally excited because hello, I am ultimately attempting a piece of historical fiction! How awesome is this. And I realise that throughout the term, we're all basically doing research for it - looking at cracked pots from the shipwreck and reading about Srivijaya and Buddhist monks and Arabs and Persians in China (who were locally called ta-xi and po-si respectively) - it's all in preparation for the story.

You know, USP modules may be hard and troublesome and endangering to my CAP, but little experiences like this go a long way, I think. At least they stay longer in my memory.

Okay, back to work!

I've always thought coffee never affected me much, no matter how much I love and drink it. Then last night, I drank some and ended up not sleeping till nearly 4 am. Zzzz. ZONKED. Me and sis were chatting in the dark for near two hours, about anything and everything. Until she was like, "Eh, what time is it???" And I was @.@ - "I have no idea, but very late."

I don't know how some sisters can be so different and I wonder how they get along. Me and sis are so similar in many ways - I don't know if it's a result of being close to each other, or being close is a result of our matching personalities. Hm. Maybe the two reinforce each other.

I was randomly mentioning last night of a memory I had when we were all younger and my siblings and I told our parents we wished that time would stand still. I think I was 9 and we were in Australia for the first time (on a trip with the uncles and cousins) and I remember us saying that that was the absolute best time of our lives. We didn't want to grow up. We had each other and it was so fun and we had our cousins we played with every time and anything different from that status quo would fall short.

And yesterday I realised, It's kinda true. :( Look now. It's all different. And I think I'm the one feeling it most. I think I might cry. Oh, the loss of innocence.

I had iftar with my primary school friends just now. A few of them, I hadn't seen in 10 years! XD It's just so amazing to meet people again after a long time. Yes, we're all a little taller, a little better groomed and a little more mature, but essentially we're all the same, it makes me want to smile non-stop for some reason.

Like, the cutest boy is still the cutest boy, the funny guy is still the funny guy, the weirdo is still adorably weird and our personalities, I'm thinking, are set in stone or something. Take Yus, for instance. She had always been the sportiest girl and tomboy-ish to the core, and look now - she's climbing mountains. Shahirah - loved reading books and was a pet in English class and she graduated as an English major. :)) I don't know - it's like a beautiful familiarity somehow.

I have a year left of school and a part of me is already dreading the end of it. No, it's not like I'm in love with NUS. It's more that I'm afraid of that crazy vastness that is the world out there, in which I feel I'm certain to get lost. I feel like the water's getting deep and I don't know if I can swim.

I came across this line while reading The Game of Thrones today:

"Beric Dondarrion was handsome enough, but he was awfully old,
almost twenty-two;"

I almost choked in laughing disbelief. XD Yes, I suppose to a 13-year-old, a 22-year-old is ancient, but still! Gosh.

Yesterday, whilst working on my seemingly never-ending task of putting together Kak Atiyah's wedding guestbook (I should learn to say no to people, no matter how painful, really. It's such a disease.), I rewatched episodes 3 and 4 of Nobuta wo Produce.

I was thinking about the Truth Man. In the show, there was a brief appearance of a strange character called the Truth Man and basically he would chase random people down and extort the truth from them. There is no specification as to what truth he demands, just simply the truth. And he would badger you and 'torment' you and he would not quit you till you gave him the truth. Of course, Akira gets accosted by this Truth Man at the end of episode 4 and at first he runs screaming from him (haha, Pi is seriously hilarious as Akira) but then gives in and confesses that he likes Nobuta so that the Truth Man would leave him. And after that, he was all like "Eh, I like her???" And it's so cute and all because next episode he tells Shuji he wants to quit producing Nobuta cause he doesn't want to share her with other people. <3

Anyway, I just thought the Truth Man idea was very smart - the truth , until you admit it to yourself, will eat away at you and torture you. The truth, as indeed the Truth Man demonstrated, will set you free.

Heh, I feel like I'm doing literature. :P But seriously, I love the themes and symbolism of Nobuta. Even to little things like the lighting of the show play a part - I love how when Shuji walks through the corridor, and he's thinking and being himself, the light dims and the sounds of his school fade away and you get the sense that he's playing this dual role - the real him, who thinks everything he's doing is kinda crap, and the popular him. And when some chattering girls accost him, reality comes flooding back and everything is colourful and noisy again, and we see Shuji back in his smiling public persona of all-popular high school boy.

I love how one can take little bits of Nobuta like that, and analyse them piece by piece. I don't get why the JEPCast (Johnny's Entertainment Podcast) refused to do it back when someone suggested it. JEPCast has a drama section where they review a drama, episode by episode, and the reason I knew JEPCast was cause one of the first dramas they covered was Kurosagi. When someone suggested Nobuta they said, if I'm not mistaken, that there was not enough interest in it and there was not much to delve into, and unless someone convinced them otherwise, they would work on other shows first. Needless to say, I was like this: O_O. Nobuta is filled to the brim with issues to discuss.

My sister, of course, doesn't give a toot to what the JEPCast people say because she quite dislikes them because of the irritating way they'd accent Japanese words. Seriously, they'd butcher names, so that Arashi gets pronouced as "Uh-RAA-she" and Takki gets called "tackey". Not to mention the annoying manner of some American conversationalists to include the word "like" every 10 words or so and end a sentence as a question, no matter the nature of the statement: "Like, I was so excited???" I get seriously tickled by it all.

Okay, functional genomics class - got to go!

Work is building up slowly like a storm. I can feel it. @.@ Yesterday, could barely understand a thing in my stats lecture. I have to make myself sit down with the textbook and get this or die. Not to mention that FYP is hovering like a cloud over my head -- I've been told what to do, but I haven't got around to doing it, and already, the prospect of looking up kinetic constants and reaction equations is scaring the frak out of me. I shall keep calm and try hard. I can do this!

Away from school, I've been wanting a number of things.

1) This backpack I saw at Tampines1 and been eyeing since. :S I've been chewing myself over it for a long time now.

2) TegoMasu no Uta album!!!! So far, I haven't seen it in stores in Singapore. And I just want it so bad. I realised that my top favourite JE songs are TegoMasu songs. This is one of their tracks in the album -- they sound awesome live. (And here's a clip with subs!)

I've had a little lull in spirits. And been a little busy with other things. So this place was neglected for a while. I've always thought how this blog gives the impression that I don't do anything besides spaz and ramble... but it's cause I just don't find joy in mundanely recounting my daily life happenings, unless they've truly moved me in some way that I feel compelled to share, and the event's something I feel open enough to share about. So yes, am not going to say what has happened in my life recently, haha. I have just been a bit preoccupied with other things. Quite memorable things.

Anyway, just tonight my sister and me were talking randomly:

I think it's guys that make relationships difficult, you know. Like you know, the girl has to be beautiful. No such thing as a guy admitting he likes a girl for her personality or virtues. If you watch movies or read books, the girl just has to be beautiful. If she ain't beautiful, she can't be the girl!

So what happens to the ugly girls then?

They just die.


XD HAHAHAHAHA. After that, I laughed like crazy. Gosh.

A short vid about the greatness that is Prophet Muhammad, Rasulullah s.a.w..



Another one:

A little documentary about the truth behind the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. And it's made by an Israeli Jew too. It's a bit slow and muffled at some parts, but still watchable.

Come and educate yourself, please. Don't just swallow media propaganda.

(The other parts are linked under the same user.)

I just rewatched the first episode of Ryusei no Kizuna. :) It still made me laugh. And it still made me cry. And I'm putting up a review of Ryusei I wrote for my sis earlier this year (she used it for her Jap club exhibit or stg).

Ryusei no Kizuna (Meteor Bonds), based on the novel by famous mystery writer, Keigo Higashino, begins with the murder of a married couple. Blessedly, their children were out of the house at the time of the incident, having snuck out in the middle of the night to watch meteors. The three siblings returned home to find their parents dead, and their lives altered forever. The story fast forwards to the Ariake siblings as young adults, still haunted by their parents' yet unsolved muder case. Vowing to avenge the injustice done to their family, the Ariake siblings team up and in desperation, attempt various means and schemes to uncover the true killer before the Statute of Limitations puts a close to the police's murder investigation and the chance for them to confront their past.

Despite the rather dark and bleak premise of the plot, Ryusei no Kizuna has a surprising light-heartedness that makes watching a pleasure, even for non-mystery lovers. Screenwriter Kudo Kankuro, known for his unusual story-telling techniques, puts his brand of humour into the drama, creating fast-changing scenes and comical narratives. Indeed, there is rarely a scene that feels dragged out or out of place. The dialogue is riddled with laugh-out-loud punch lines and the crazy swindling schemes of the Ariake siblings - involving several cosplaying attempts - provide much amusement. More than all that however, is the amazing sibling chemistry between the three main actors. Viewers will most likely relate to the very natural sibling squabbles and interactions played by Ninomiya Kazunari (of the award-winning Letters from Iwo Jima), Nishikido Ryo and Toda Erika, which were always entertaining, occasionally heart-warming and more than once, tear-jerking. Ryusei no Kizuna, while driven by its mystery plot, is at its heart and as the title suggests, a wonderful portrayal of sibling love and the strength of family.

Why do bad things happen to good people? :(

Honestly, it's a stupid question. But we ask it all the time. Isn't it the reason that some people denounce God? That they're so upset with the state of the world, they give up on the idea of God looking down on us? But seriously - you know, isn't it possible God knows better? Because there are more important things than transient happiness on this Earth, eh? Like nobility, for instance. Or profundity. Or courage. Or true faith, not faith just when you get enough food and money and clothes. (And God protect us from such difficult tests of faith.) Such beautiful qualities are only nurtured and polished in adversity.

This reminds me of that Huxley novel I just finished the other day - Brave New World; how utter comfort and happiness breeds a particular ugliness. It makes me wonder you know, that maybe humans are meant to overcome challenges. That that's what we live for. We're here just to fight obstacles, and when we have none, we've lost reason for existence. In short, as we always hear - life ain't worth living till there's something worth dying for.

The way my mind drifts - haiyoh. @.@

---

Anyway, found a new animal I possibly like more than pandas and lambs!!! ALPACAS.

They're like lambs with long necks, which probably explains why I find them so irresistibly adorable. XD The first time I saw them was on a Jap tv show just yesterday, with Yamapi (haha). They invited alpacas onto the show! And Yamapi and the Buzzer Beat cast were patting their fluffy fur and all, and squealing kawaii at intervals. This, of course, only exarcebates my unbidden love for this creature. :P

I used to harp on a lot about intuition and coincidences and fate. And then, I became a little bit more cynical and skeptical. Things only happen because you make it so, ne. But today, I think the old me was right to believe in the wonderful workings of divine power. Allah does help those who help themselves. God does answer wholehearted pleas. You'll find the truth if you search it. The thing you look for might fall right onto your lap, and then you sit stunned for at least a second. And go wow.

In the morning, I was helping process documents at Mendaki as usual, and I saw someone quote Paul Coelho in her personal statement: how the universe conspires for you when you fight for your passions or convictions.

I bumped into the Finance Director at the photocopy machine after that. She asked me if I was the one who had graduated and was working at Deloitte. I gave her a confused no, I haven't even graduated yet! I don't even know what Deloitte is.

Then I left earlier than usual, because I was meeting my Human Relations project mates, who have become my USP friends, at Orchard. Raphael was leaving for Philly for NOC, so we gathered for a little farewell. And we talked about random work and school stuff. And Raphael mentioned his sister works at Deloitte. And my brain went, eh?

Then later he mentioned he was working at Exploit Technologies (the new kid on the block at Biopolis, I think) for a bit this summer and basically they do knowledge transfer from research to market. And they had some new 2-year internship program for fresh grads and suggested me and Vaish check it out some time if we're interested. (It turns out Vaish is aiming for med school.) By this time, I was already a little rattled. Like wow. Wasn't this what I've been thinking about for some time now?

Then he went further to ask me what I wanted to do after graduation. And because things had turned so favourably, I dared to say, Something like medical writing? And he enthusiastically replied, Oh, I know a professor whose wife works as a medical writer at nusmed! I could get you to meet or talk to her if you want. And I really went, Majide!!!! in my head. I couldn't believe it.

You see, I have been privately cracking my head about my future plans and stumbled on the concept of medical writing or basically, communication in science. I thought, what could be better, eh? I get to write, something I know I can at least do okay, and I get to use my background in science. I wasn't so confident on the concept of doing graduate work or research in bioinformatics (although I'm not closing off the option entirely), what with my mediocre CAP and blurness in programming and all, and here was an option that might work, you know. And I had already spent some time reading about it and looking up people who do it (there aren't many, if any, in Singapore) and I was contemplating corresponding with one of these people for advice. I'd been mulling about it for days. So, Raphael offering something like that- Oh, I know someone who's a medical writer! You want? - was seriously, @.@ - wow.

And I said, Okay, I think I'll mail you some time.

So yes, today was a little significant. And I'm going to gather my guts and do something about this.

And okay, I'm still trying to figure out the exact meaning of Deloitte being mentioned by random people twice in one day. Haha. Or maybe I'm just looking for patterns where there aren't any. :P But I don't know, the idea that a pattern does exist is just... better to me.

Also, Jiawen is right - you really can learn, and should learn, from anyone, and anything.
---

Anyway, away from future worries and whatnot, I reread a funny Hanadan fic and I just have to post a link here: 4 Times Domyouji Almost Wrecked (Someone Else's) Wedding, and 1 Time He Saved It

This fic reiterates how crazily special an OTP Tsukasa and Tsukushi are. It is so hilarious. I just totally love how the fic embellishes the way Makino questions her sanity for having fallen for the idiot Domyouji is. XD It is funny as hell. The Domyouji antics are so spot on. I love it.

"You look like a pimp!"

"Eh?" He frowned at her reflection in the mirror, and then grinned in triumph. "I don't have a hand crank! Eh, dummy?"

Makino blinked at him in bewilderment, then rubbed the bridge of her nose in exasperation. "No. Idiot. PIMP, not PUMP. God, you're such a moron. Why did I marry you?"

"Because I'm Domyouji Tsukasa, heir to Domyouji Holdings, and you are the girl I chose!"

Gosh, just thinking of Domyouji now makes me want to crack up. XD I realise it may not sound remotely amusing to someone who hasn't watched Hanadan - to which I say, Please clue yourself in. Boys Over Flowers is becoming a legend, please. Just the soundtrack of the Korean version was on the 2nd spot on the top 10 Asian albums at HMV today. -_-

I've been chewing on it, and I've finally decided - I am going to go and get the Tegomass no Uta album! They're a subset of NEWS, I've always loved them, Tego sounds so good, and Tego and Massu harmonize wonderfully, so their songs are rarely bad. These are good enough reasons. yay. I hope HMV or Sembawang has it, even if they're the Taiwan versions. Actually, I think those are cheaper? wtv, I'm getting them! :D

Damn it. I feed on OTPs. (By the way, in case you don't know: OTP = one true pairing.) They are too cute, okay. And they keep my faith in true love alive, haha. Sad as it sounds. What caused this revival was Yujie linking me to a clip of Toma and Kato Ai on TOKIO's regular show and the boys were teasing Toma for behaving like he likes her. It was hilarious. And incredibly adorable. oh gosh. And I'd always thought they looked perfectly cute together, which only increases their OTP-ness. Also, it helps that I really like this girl! I rarely like girls, haha, because I think I always assess them with higher standards than I do guys.

I think I found a real life OTP too! Haha. I mean, I know of people who are seriously so OTP, one can't help but feel happy that they're together. Like it feels like the planets are aligned and all of nature is in perfect balance. XD Oh dear. I sound mad.

You know, I had kind of a private rule for myself -- not to blog at 3 am, give or take. Because usually, I'm at my wonkiest at these times. Entries posted in the vicinity of 3 am always horrify me when I reread them at a more decent hour - they're always extra mad, extra hyper and riddled with ultra random rambles and whacked theories.

So, for now... ja!

I just felt like I should post something although I'm not really in the mood. I think I had something bad to eat last night, so I was a bit under the weather today. I skipped my admin service hours at Mendaki and slept half the day away. An upset stomach, coupled with the hectic weekend, really paid its toll on me.

So anyway, yes, Kaktiyah finally got married. All in all, the ceremony went smoothly and Kaktiyah was all smiles and happy tears, so we were all equally happy. I'd brought my photoprinter for the reception table like we planned but there was no power point nearby so I haven't yet printed the photos for the guestbook. I thought I'd get to it today, but I kept visiting the toilet and falling into fits of sleep, so I gave up. My head is still throbbing lightly. I plan to sleep early tonight.

I've been steadily reading through Jodi Picoult's Keeping Faith. It's not a fantastic story (hell, it reads a bit like fanfiction to me :s) and most of it is amazingly predictable, but the whole concept of God has always been able to keep me interested. I think, in general, very few people can take the topic of God and create a very novel and compelling story. Also, being Muslim and all, I resent how non-Muslims always think they know all about Islam when in most cases, they don't at all. Knowing the word Allah, for instance, means nothing. -_-

HP6 Movie Spoilers.

Also, I have of course watched the HP6 movie. And am hoping to watch it again with my mum sometime soon. I was very much disappointed when I exited the cinema - none of the special things I liked about Book 6 was replicated well enough in the movie; nothing about the history of the Slytherin family and how Voldie is virtually the last living descendant; about Voldie's muggle origins; and barely anything substantial about Snape's past as a genius potions student and how he is the half-blood prince. Also, while the Ginny/Harry relationship development may not have been perfectly executed in the books, I'd always rooted for them and loved Ginny. Bonnie Wright as Ginny in this movie was quite painful to watch. She was so incredibly stiff (I'm trying to decide now who's worse, her or Meisa) and there was barely any chemistry to speak of. Everything was so forced. But moving on from all the blunders of the romance department, I'd say that the teenage Tom Riddle was awesome. Who was that boy??? I swear I've seen him somewhere before but I can't place him; but the point is, his depiction of a young and still unscarred Tom/Voldemort was chilling and impressive. I was thinking, Yes, this is how I imagined a young Voldemort - so enticingly dangerous! He had subtlety in his acting (the right kinds of glances and pauses), which sad to say, was lacking in every other member of the young cast. Granted, Emma Watson was less screechy as Hermione, but she still needs to learn subtlety. Other saving graces include the expectedly nice special effects, the Death Eaters as a whole (although at times I think they're playing up Bellatrix too much), Tom Felton's rather convincing portrayal of a distraught Draco and Dumbledore's moment of death was quite well done too, I think.

I'm excited already about watching it again because I want to go in with lower expectations now, and reassess the movie. :)

Okay, I looked the boy up - he's called Frank Dillane and has only acted once before in Welcome to Sarajevo (1997) with his father Stephen Dillane. Other people on IMDB seem to think he was creepy as hell in the HP6 movie too. :P Man, this boy is one to watch.

I went to meet one of my professors today, to settle my FYP. And after hours of waiting (because I'd come in the morning like he said but he wasn't free till the afternoon and I agreed to wait) I finally knocked on his glass door and opened it. And HAHA, my eyes almost fell out of its sockets in shock. Of course, it took me a second to pretend like nothing was wrong as he pleasantly asked me to wait again.

His office is a superb mess. Seriously. SERIOUSLY. I'd never seen any room as messy except in the movies. There was not quite enough space for me to stand, even, because there were papers everywhere. There were several crumpled charts on the floor, two swivel chairs haphazardly thrown in the middle of the room, with unopened letters on them, the guest sofa was similarly littered with objects and unidentified documents and I didn't know if I could move them in order to sit. So I moved to the corner next to the door which was blessedly uncluttered and started to scrutinise the poster of cell regulation pathways as I waited for him to finish discussing with his graduate student.

I ended up standing there for a good half hour and during that time, I started to observe the rest of his room because my god, I kept wondering, Why is it so messy??? I mean, I am by no means a neat person. My bedroom is testimony to this. But even I couldn't fathom why pieces of rubbish and papers and charts and starhub bills are all over the floor! I wanted to laugh out loud, really. Did he just move into this office? But no, his starhub bills (it clearly had his name on it) proved otherwise. Was he searching for something - like a crucial formula for a split second experimental decision? Was he robbed? That could explain how everything seemed to be thrown around the room but that didnt explain why someone had quite clearly vandalised one of the desks with a red marker. I couldn't explain it. XD The only conclusion I could come up with: he's one of those genius within chaos types.

Anyway, at least he was nice enough and I think I'm closer to getting my FYP settled. :D

Going out for lunch tonight!

I went to Times at Tampines1 today; bought Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers: The Story of Success and Jodi Picoult's Keeping Faith. I also saw Cassandra Claire's (I shall forever spell it with an i, CC, no matter how you try to run away from your previous pen name, just because I always have) City of Glass on the shelf! (In case you don't know, this person wrote the fanfiction Draco Trilogy that I have harped on about many times. She is now a published writer.) I think it's the first time I've seen her book in Singapore... I am kind of curious about it but I feel no inclination to work through all three books and the fact that the famous Twilight author, Stephenie Meyers, gives her praises on the book cover puts me off rather than motivates me. :P I also went to Action City and bought something cute - fake bread!!! It has a weird caramel scent that is supposed to be the smell of bread (I honestly don't get it) and I bought two - one for Elsie (haha!) and a bigger one for Kaktiyah (because she's getting married soon and I wanted to give some sort of a farewell gift - @.@ I hope she doesn't read this before she gets it!).

And I just realised I have too many things in parentheses in the paragraph above. Bah. :P

I've decided that Tampines1 has become my favourite mall in recent times, despite the lack of halal food places and despite its history of collapsing ceilings and the H1N1 case. It's big and doesn't have as many people, unlike Tampines Mall next door which is seriously abominably crowded on weekends. It has two of my favourite stores in the basement: Yamakawa Super which sells all kinds of yummy Japanese food products, and Urban Write which sells awesome stationery and knick-knacks. It also has UNIQLO, from which I haven't purchased anything but have been planning to for a while now. It has J.Co. which, believe it or not, is the only donut shop in the entire Tampines shopping hub! We had everything but donuts before Tampines1 arrived. And of course, everything is within walking distance from home. :) Did I say before how I shall never live anywhere else but Tampines? (If possible, of course.)

My Arashi love has increased over the past few days; I thought it had reached high enough levels. But time and again, I just have to concede that their member love just wins hands down, over all of JE groups ever. Or any other boyband that I know of. This friendship thing that they have just sells so well and is so surprisingly inspiring. It fills me with a warm glow. :) I've seen quite a bit of SMAP now (thanks to my sister whose love for Kimura kind of exploded ever since she watched Love Generation) and even Arashi beats SMAP. Defintely. I was also telling Duckie the other day, how trying to choose a favourite Arashi member is like trying to decide which HP book I like best. Everyone's just so special in their own way - gah; it's virtually impossible.

I realise I have a really soft spot for quirky people. The weirder they are, the more I'd like them. Like Ohno! Gosh, the way this man stones, even during Arashi's shows, just cracks me up. He rarely speaks and when he does, he says weird random things that are just funny. And he does unusual things like playing with clay to make African faces and goes fishing for more than 24 hours at a stretch. But he's undoubtedly the best singer in Arashi, and some say the best dancer as well. Maybe it's my bias speaking, but I feel that geniuses are rarely ever normal anyway. The quirky people, in my view, are quirky precisely because they have some very novel and interesting way of looking at the world and dismissing them would be a great remiss.

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I keep feeling like I'm falling in love with Arashi ALL OVER AGAIN.

Omgosh, if that isn't true love, I don't know what is. Haha. XD

Can I find someone in real life who makes me feel like this HAHAHAHA. Not that Arashi aren't real, but, you know. Unattainable. XD

I don't believe one grows older. I think that what happens early on in life is that at a certain age one stands still and stagnates.

- George Eliot

This quote hit the nail of my thoughts tonight. (Do I make sense? :P) I've started to feel a little happier lately because I've concertedly thought of life differently. There is no more, "I have to get this done by this time!" or "If I do this, will I ruin my life???" I've decided that hey, it's best to live life by my own terms, not by any external measure, and to keep learning and growing. Forever, if possible. One of the keys to a happy and meaningful life is to nurture curiosity.

Anyway, my iPod Touch arrived today and I am enjoying my little friend now. :D I am also seriously amazed by the power of technology. I also cleaned one of my drawers (threw out a lot of junk) and found a hari raya packet that contained $12!!!! :D Awesome or what. Windfall! (Okay, a mini one.)

Went to get my IC replaced today, with Mumu for company. And after that we had Pastamania at Cathay Cineleisure and watched Dance, Subaru!.

I was trying very hard to be lenient to Kuroki Meisa's acting - but gosh, she's just so stiff. Her expressions are just so... wooden. She's pretty and all, but gah. Her acting irks me; and it irks me more cause I like her and I cringe for her. Admittedly, she's better here than in Crows Zero, but still. I think Mumu and me were crying more than her character; the story was really sad (and rather draggy in the middle). Mumu and me were crying like mad that we had to get tissues out at the end but Meisa only had a few tears seeping out (and they looked rather forced). :P

Also, somewhere in the middle, DBSK appeared for like 15 seconds and the girls next to me physically spazzed. They were trying to suppress their squeals, but failed of course. -.-" I was like, "Haiyoh, I think DBSK is responsible for at least a third of the box office sales." But haha, I totally get it. I'm a fangirl too. And DBSK is pretty (Jaejoong, as I commonly proclaim, is like a flawless anime character) and their dancing is awesome and they can actually sing decently. What's to hate.

And in case you don't know who or what DBSK is... Although, to me, that's rather appalling (but that's cause I've fallen into Jpop/Kpop world and therefore have very skewed perceptions now), here's a photo (and god, just google them lah okay. They're awesome to watch.):

And link here. And this is the amazing dance version of their song Mirotic. It's really wow. And I'm not even a proper fan, okay. I only know these things because my sister shows them to me. My heart belongs to Pi, NEWS and Arashi. :P

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And since dearest genius Shweta who is tinkering away in a lab in MIT requested I blog about things other than my Jap fangirling, HP and Lymond (you leave me little choice, my dear), I shall. And since my sister is blaring Billie-Jean from her laptop now...

Where was I when I found out MJ died? I was having pancakes for breakfast at MacDonald's with Lin. Lin was the one who announced it to me and I went, "WHAT??????????" of course. I mean, who didn't. Couldn't believe it at first. I mean, this is the Michael Jackson. This week's edition of Newsweek had a very nice article on him: What his life felt like from inside, from outside it was manifestly a work of genius, whether you want to call it a triumph or a freak show - those are just words. We'd never seen anyone like this before, either in his artistic inventiveness or his equally artistic self-invention, and we won't forget him - until the big Neverland swallows us all.

Some older people don't think MJ reached the consciousness of my generation, but he definitely did. I mean, I can't even recall a time when I didn't know MJ. I grew up with Hussain dancing MJ's moves during our holiday trips and doing the crotch-grabbing OW! Heee. Sweet memories. I distinctly remember us somewhere in rural Terengganu, putting on an MJ show near the roadside while the elders chatted away in the house. Of course, no one actually watched but we kept cheering Hussain on. Hussain was seriously born to be a performer, man. We keep urging him to try Singapore Idol. :P (I digress.)

MJ. RIP.

I'm approaching the end of Aldous Huxley's Brave New World, in which a scary, desensitized sort of human civilization exists - all people are cloned or created, sexual promiscuity is the convention whilst monogamy becomes an unspeakable crime, the concept of family doesn't exist - the word mother is in fact scandalous, and the idea of God has been entirely replaced by the great Ford. Ford is a system that enforces stability and conformity, and utilises science and eugenics to an astonishing degree. All everyone cares about is happiness and pretty much... everyone are bimbos; just totally ignorant of their ignorance.

Some nice parts:

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"Because our world is not the same as Othello's world. You can't make flivvers without steel - and you can't make tragedies without social instability. The world's stable now. People are happy; they get what they want, and they never want what they can't get. They're well off; they're safe; they're never ill; they're not afraid of death; they're blissfully ignorant of passion and old age; they're plagued with no mothers or fathers; they've got no wives, or children, or lovers to feel strongly about; they're so conditioned that they practically can't help behaving as they ought to behave. And if anything should go wrong, there's soma. Which you go and chuck out of the window in the name of liberty, Mr Savage. Liberty! Expecting Deltas to know what liberty is! And now expecting them to understand Othello! My good boy!"

Soma is basically like a drug, encouraged and enforced by the system, that the people take to dispel any sort of unhappiness.

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"Actual happiness always looks pretty squalid in comparison with the overcompensations for misery. And, of course, stability isn't nearly so spectacular as instability. And being contented has none of the glamour of a good fight against misfortune, none of the picturesqueness of a struggle with temptation, or a fatal overthrow by passion or doubt. Happiness is never grand."

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"My dear young friend, civilization has absolutely no need of nobility or heroism. These things are symptoms of political inefficiency. In a properly organized society like ours, nobody has any opportunities for being noble or heroic. Conditions have got to be thoroughly unstable before the occasion can arise."

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This one's my favourite part so far:

" 'Men and women must have their adrenals stimulated from time to time.'

'What?' questioned the Savage, uncomprehending.

'It's one of the conditions of perfect health. That's why we've made the V.P.S. treatments compulsory.'

'V.P.S.?'

'Violent Passion Surrogate. Regularly once a month. We flood the whole system with adrenin. It's the complete psychological equivalent of fear and rage. All the tonic effects of murdering Desdemona and being murdered by Othello, without any of the inconveniences.'

'But I like the inconveniences.'

'We don't,' said the Controller. 'We prefer to do things comfortably.'

'But I don't want comfort. I want God, I want poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want goodness. I want sin.'

'In fact,' said Mustapha Mond, 'you're claiming the right to be unhappy.'

'All right then,' said the Savage defiantly, 'I'm claiming the right to be unhappy.'

'Not to mention the right to grow old and ugly and impotent; the right to have syphilis and cancer; the right to have too little to eat; the right to be lousy; the right to live in constant apprehension of what may happen tomorrow; the right to catch typhoid; the right to be tortured by unspeakable pains of every kind.' There was a long silence.

'I claim them all,' said the Savage at last.

Mustapha Mond shrugged his shoulders. 'You're welcome,' he said. "

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Reading this just reminds me of what someone else said - how youngsters today seem to bemoan too much about a difficult life. When in fact, it's good to have it difficult. It's good. It's supposed to make you stronger and smarter and wiser, and above all, human. We're not supposed to have it easy.

Jiawen put this up before but I've been having a ball rewatching Arashi clips and I just love their beatbox thingum!!! Just watch it! It's awesome -- I have half a mind to attempt this myself. XD Hah! I mean, all I need are several people making weird sounds and someone to compose a rap with me. :P Anyone with me on this??? I have only little more than a month left for crazy private projects before the new semester starts, dang it.



Seriously, I heart Arashi.