picture in my mind

So, you know, I thought I was making a lot of headway about sustaining emotional awareness and managing my emotional reactions; the endless, inane type of comments that people make about life  and people and things, that used to just light me up in rage, I feel like I could take better now.

But then, after a whole night (and I'd say several days) of letting inane comments slide, I finally snapped. And it was the contempt I'd heard about someone I cared about, that sent me off kilter. On reflection, I should have stayed calm -- the error I'd made was the expectation, that everyone can come to see what I see, can come to understand what I mean, without already making value judgments. I've come to see that to some people, some things must not be said. They will understand it wrong. They have no patience to see the nuance of what is meant. And when they in turn start making judgments of you, you in anger and thus, in error, start making judgment of them.

Khalas. Disengage, S. I must learn to recognize this. But how? With whom can things be said and questioned and discussed, and with whom must they be withheld?



Open-mindedness is a difficult concept;
most people think they're open-minded, but are they, really?
Am I open-minded?
What is the definition of open-mindedness?

Definition (from here)

Open-mindedness is the willingness to search actively for evidence against one’s favored beliefs, plans, or goals, and to weigh such evidence fairly when it is available.

Being open-minded does not imply that one is indecisive, wishy-washy, or incapable of thinking for one’s self. After considering various alternatives, an open-minded person can take a firm stand on a position and act accordingly.

The opposite of open-mindedness is what is called the myside bias which refers to the pervasive tendency to search for evidence and evaluate evidence in a way that favors your initial beliefs. Most people show myside bias, but some are more biased than others.

There seems to be a poisonous belief among some Muslims that it is a dangerous thing to be open-minded; but to my mind, this makes utterly no sense. Muslims should be the most open-minded people there are; the Qura'an actively tells you to think, and ponder, and reflect, and says Truth is clear from error.  The very first people who embraced Islam had to be open-minded. The people who believed in the divinity of Prophet Muhammad s.a.w., the virgin birth of Prophet Isa a.s., and the ascension to heaven of our Prophet s.a.w. had to be open-minded. Why are you afraid of new information? Keep learning. Keep learning and ask for divine guidance. This is not rebelliousness. This is called learning. Are you stupid that you will believe everything you read wholesale, or are you of a discerning mind, and able to separate falsehoods from kernels of truth? Of course, I am not advocating arrogance; I am advocating a thirst for learning and knowledge, and then a careful understanding and analysis of all the information you gain. Filter all of what you've learned with the opinions of learned scholars. Listen to your heart, the seat of divine guidance, and send prayers upon the Prophet s.a.w.. Then live life better every day.

How can this be wrong, someone please explain.

---