Had an extremely crummy day --
had this rather timely reminder that it's ok not to be perfect:
God, help me keep living every day brave and hopeful.
ahhhh, crummy day, crummy crummy crummy.
What was it that I heard recently -- when you're sad, you doubt everything.
Some days I feel tired, sad, unreasonable,
and wish I could get a windfall.
Can something awesome just fall into my lap, please.
excuse my whining, but why do so many things have to be so hard.
Watching this video about girls who code makes me nostalgic about my youthful undergraduate years, going crazy about programming. Sitting up literally all night (and pretending to sleep when my grandma woke up in the morning haha) trying to get a code right -- and although I was in pieces and sometimes in tears -- I think there was an exhilaration in the task; I love solving puzzles. Nowadays, I wish I could get into a problem proper to crack it proper instead of having to work like a stupid cog in a stupid machine, and just keep moving, moving, moving, instead of really solving things. The frustration builds slowly day by day... I really hope I don't explode at some point.
this is just immaturity boggling at the sad face of failure.
tomorrow I'll be bright as a bedbug again.
No comments:
Post a Comment