great minds discuss ideas

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Tonight, we reviewed a little of what entails backbiting:

1) If you talk good about someone -- this is praise and not backbiting (duh, haha)

2) Speaking the truth about someone but if he or she were present, they would not feel happy = backbiting. Even if it were regarding technically neutral matters, it could be backbiting depending on the perception or feelings of the person in question; so for example, I am so crazy short right and you go and tell someone else: You know, S is less-than-5-feet-short! and if I'd heard it and it caused a little unhappy twinge in my heart -- that's backbiting. 

But no worries: I really haven't much cared what people say about my height since I think when I was 18 -- most of the time, heheh.

3) Speaking malicious falsehoods about people = backbiting + FITNAH (i.e. slander). This one if you do... be very afraid of what punishment you may be accruing in the hereafter. Escape now! Seek forgiveness now! Say prayers upon the Prophet s.a.w. for guidance and mercy!

We always happily try to convince ourselves we don't do this, but in the heat of emotion and in the company of like-minded people, sometimes we forget. :( Apparently, some places (i.e. Zaytuna Institute, I hear) prefer being cautious and have a policy of not talking about people at all -- talk about ideas instead. Besides, we know small minds discuss people, great minds discuss ideas.