picture in my mind

Writer's block! Both for this blog, as well as a paper due in less than a week. :s The thoughts are all there jumbled around in my head, but I can't get it out to sound right. And the power of words... really. The way one phrases things, just that little bit different, it can change the meaning a whole lot. So how does one not become ultra cautious in the writing or the speaking, knowing the power of words? (So as a result typing is worse than slow.)

What I keep doing: sweeping things under the rug. Cannot deal with situation? Sweep under the rug. This is too difficult and confusing? Sweep under the rug. God, I still don't know what to do. Sweep under the rug. Because hello, I have a 5000-word essay to write -- and I think my brain is insanely prone to distractions -- and focus is necessary; so the rug functions so I can function. Let's just hope that when I finally lift my rug, I don't get felled over by overdue issues.

On a separate positive note, I think I have learnt to say no. I almost got roped into becoming the project director for an event -- and in the past, I would have probably buckled -- but I have learnt that if you don't take care of yourself, you can't take care of things. Example: Graduate student on the way to Nobel fame kills self over failure to synthesise a chemical bond. When I hear how stressed it is to be a research student, I swear, I feel so glad to have gotten out of it. When you don't take care of your personal issues and sweep them under the rug and pretend everything's super-awesome and the world is fine, this is what happens. Ultimately, I think if you don't have God (or at least a viable and functional world view), and things start crumbling, this is what happens.

I shall work on my paper and be diligent and on-task and study and also work on those things under the rug, ahak.