I shall endeavour to climb out of this blogging rut. Which is in truth a dip in spirits, the source of which might lie in all this worrying about schooling again and the lack of money and whether I'm doing the right thing. That's always the ultimate question bugging me, whatever the situation -- is this the right thing? the best thing? the absolute 100% correct answer? I blame all of this on remnants of RGS upbringing -- the perfectionist, we-must-be-excellent-or-die attitude that refuses to consider that yes, whatever our choices, there will always be possibility of failure, and that it is all right, girl, it's all right nonetheless.
And all this doubt, maybe it's syaitan right. Because my religion tells me that once you've chosen a path, to pursue it with trust in The Almighty. And Satan's constant evil is to plant seeds of doubt in out hearts; doubt your choices, doubt yourself, doubt your God.
A'uzubillahiminashaitanirajjim!
Hahh. :P
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I watched The Social Network with my aunt earlier in the week, and really liked it. It's one of my favourite kinds of movies because it's about insanely intelligent people wow-ing us with their super-power incomprehensible skills, haha. Kinda like Good Will Hunting, which is one of my faves of all time. The dialogue was witty and quick, and I don't know how true the story is, but it is fun to find out how this Mark Zuckerberg dude came up with the idea of the facebook wall etc etc.
Somewhere near the beginning when he was doing the coding and working his computer in Sonic speed, I felt like a pang of... nostalgia, perhaps? Haha. First of all, it was thrilling to kind of get what half of what he was trying to do, you know -- with the PERL script looping and accessing the servers and whatnot. And secondly, it reminded me of well, comp bio, and how at one point, I really really wanted to learn to code like a pro. I'm still keeping that option open because anyone is free to learn anything right and someday I might want to relearn for fun, who knows. Thirdly, I am establishing what I have always secretly harboured: that computers are cool and so are the guys who get all those programming-Linux-server-stuff and can accomplish computing miracles. I think the idea of computer nerds is slowly fading; if it hasn't already.
Away from all that, I was also thinking -- if there are such geniuses in this world, why isn't the world a better place? I think the majority of intellectual energy is directed to the wrong purposes; and if we'd just have a little more morality and spirituality and like, real deep thinking, we'd have fewer wars and more peace. but oh, that's me and my bubble of idealism.
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