So, I finally reached the parts on love in the lecture Refinement of the Heart by Shaykh Hamza. And, I have been wondering for days now on how to express what happened, because it profoundly affected me. At one point, I was sitting in a corner of my house just sobbing away until my sister came and was like O.O, what. The other time I cried that hard was probably when I was at an all-time low back in 2007, and my life direction felt like it was downward spiraling.
But this -- it felt like a lot of my life prior to that point was to come to that precise moment of understanding. In a way, it was tears of joy -- and I believe in true love now. :))) It's hard to pinpoint or summarise what exactly impacted me most; but perhaps this: that the platitude, the greatest thing in life is to love and be loved in return is truer than I could imagine. True love has been staring me in the face all my life, and I had the cheek to doubt its existence. It's like, you know, you go around all your life trying to figure life out, trying to figure love out, and then finally, you stop and realise, this is love. And how could I not see this before? That divine creation was the greatest act of love to begin with.
I gave myself a few days so that I wouldn't be so emo when I blogged, but I suppose it can't be helped. Ahah, love is an emotion anyway. And neither can it be told, no matter my efforts here; only felt and experienced.
And here's a big thank you to Farhana. Some people walk into your life like Godsend. :)
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