picture in my mind

Happy Eid to all my Muslim friends! <3 I love you all, really.

I think it's bad if I haven't blogged for days. The way my mind works as it goes through life is, oh, that is an interesting thought, I should blog about that! but then all the oh-moments build up because I haven't blogged in ages and now I have a ton of them, and surely it is unfeasible to write all of them or even a substantial percentage here. Not to mention that untangling my thoughts is work in itself; tiring! hello, messy brain!

* I miss my dad. He's been in Madinah since the last quarter of Ramadhan, and this raya, his absence was keenly felt because I realise my dad is often the life of the group -- it is significantly more boring without my papa! :(

* The bila kita nak makan nasi minyak! question has started. O.O ohhhgod. How long will I have to endure this, I wonder.

* Don't know if it's just me -- but I've been seeing a lot of extra emphasis placed on our love for Nabi s.a.w. these days. The eid khutbah at Ghufran mentioned it; made me happpyyy.

* Insyirah actually called me Amati (which means auntie in Arabic) today; it's way too cute. >.<

* Sometimes I feel like I am at least five different people in my head. It can be stressful.

* You know those IQ pattern questions that ask what comes next? I love those. And I have this uncontrollable habit of picking up patterns even in real life; whether they be real or valid, only God knows. Aren't there moments when you feel like something is important but you're not sure what or why? I think I unconsciously store away moments like that because I'm waiting for a time when I can understand them better. When something else happens that sheds light on the previous moment, then I get a clearer view of the big picture -- and I suppose that's what I'm after. I want to see if there's a grand plan or not. Perhaps people who believe in a God always seek this out; maybe, I don't know. But when things start fitting neatly like a jigsaw, it is awesomeness. How can you think everything or anything is chance or coincidence or meaningless?

The fact that I took Nerney's writing class, News and the Public, back in 2007, for instance. For me, it was the most important class of my university life; possibly, the most important class I ever had in my life. And one of the reasons for this: that it opened my eyes to Walter Lippman's concept of Public Opinion, and how it is shaped by the powers that control information. (The caption for my blog too -- picture in my mind -- is taken from what I learnt from that class.) And now, it feels like I've already been primed early on to understand situations like this: Quran Burning Story: This Is How The Media Embarrass Themselves. And the big picture that is the fiasco and travesty of US media.

All of it is kinda like what they mention in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, that life can only be lived forwards but understood backwards. We'll see, as we look back, how it's all supposed to fit together. Or that movie of M. Night Shyamalan, Signs; I like that movie more than I care to admit because essentially the message is: have faith because God has a plan. :)

* And I reread this bit yesterday:

Why do people look at the ocean? It is much more interesting usually, what is to their back, right, the land because you can see all these plants and trees and flowers, but why do they look at the ocean? Part of it is -- what is that awe in us when we look at the ocean. Part of it is what is under. It is all that stuff that is hidden from us. If you wait long enough you will suddenly see this fish jump. Did you see that? That is what people do. Did you see that? Why are they so amazed? It is really interesting why they are amazed. Did you see that? Look over there. That is what Allah shows you when you believe in the unseen with these fish “did you see that?”. If you spend enough time doing it you do not do that anymore. You just say SubhanAllah. I am not making that up, that is the reality of life. Once you open yourself up to belief, it just keeps confirming itself to you. That is how you increase in imaan by just increasing in imaan because Allah gives you more to believe in. Have taqwa in Allah will keep teaching you more to have taqwa about. It is a real gift from Allah to all of us and that is why we should see it as a gift.


Extracted and edited from Success in this world and the next.