You know what I was thinking today? If only I could capture happiness or serenity in a net; and hold it there and never let it go. But Nabi s.a.w. did say life is lived by the hour -- one hour you're good, the next hour you're not; and that's why this life is a struggle. That's why this world is this world, and perfection and eternity is what is to come.
Because after the syabab liqa' today, sis and me had a little meal with Ami Man and Mama Dah (my uncle and aunt) before we all headed off together for Masjid Tentera and it was cosy and sweet and somehow so nostalgic, it made me smile for no reason. Then we were in the car to Clementi and I was in the backseat and looking out the window at the pretty sky, just thinking about how grateful I should be, and feeling so serene; I swear, at that point, I think I'd never felt happier in my life. And all I felt like doing was singing out Thank you!
But then a little later, I didn't feel so great. And then I got home and got onto facebook, and really did not feel great at all. And I'm like, what the heck. That place is the pits. Why do I even go there??? Seriously! I mean, okay, there are some things I do like and are somewhat beneficial -- but it's like going clubbing but saying, Hey, I'm only here to drink apple juice! The idea is warped and unreal and Who are you kidding? It just leads you down a horrible road. Whatever lah -- all I know is that, it's one thing that doesn't make me feel good and I'm wondering -- where is my moment with the sky and God in my heart? :(
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