From Quote Book (I am addicted to places like this, halp.)

"There are three classes of men—lovers of wisdom, lovers of honor, lovers of gain."
~ Plato

this is my 1000th post since the birth of this blog! actually, I can't believe I took this long to get to 1000.

This is one of the many things I'll never forget. The first time I heard it was during APEX, and someone was very emotional when relating it, I almost teared up too. Because when you do things, there will always be people who misunderstand you, and it's only human for you to hurt when they do. And then later, when I had to get out of MS exco (because no way could I have survived it, especially now) and had really, one of the worst times in my life, I was handed a printed version of this from Aizat (and I thank him for that):

"People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway. If you are successful you will win some false friends and true enemies; Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you’ve got anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; It was never between you and them anyway."

~ Mother Theresa

And it's too true; because once I know what I do is for Allah and Rasul anyway, it just becomes one million times easier to be good or to do the right thing. Like you know, you should never get angry with your parents or hurt them in any way right? -- but hello, it ain't so easy a job if your parent ain't a saint. When your mum is being unreasonable and says hurtful things (and bloody hell, you're only human, how much negativity can you take, even if she is in a lousy mood and is taking it all out on you), it is so damn hard to stay good and calm and not want to retaliate angrily in some way. But once I realise I'm not really doing this for her, I'm doing this for God, it becomes that much easier. You can be nice to people and not expect them to be nice to you, and it doesn't matter.

Like Rasulullah s.a.w. who loves his ummah, and we may not all love him back with fervour. It's not like he needs us anyway; more like the other way round. It's called kareem - loving someone although they may not necessarily deserve it, or being generous though people may not welcome it. It's an honourable thing. That's why there's that quote too, by Victor Hugo: What a grand thing, to be loved. What a grander thing still, to love. And surely nobody tops Nabi s.a.w. in this.

---

Was reading my drafts folder (why do I do this when I should be reading up on actin or focal adhesion or stg else I actually need to do!), and found something from May 2008:

Things I want to do in my life before I die include (not necessarily in order):


1) Visit Scotland (can't believe I still haven't), Japan, Russia and Jerusalem (if possible) and as many other places as humanly possible.


2) Learn several languages.


3) Memorise my favourite surahs, at the very least.


4) Write a good story and proper script and send it in to mediacorp.


5) Finally have a beautiful and neat room/house.


6) Make sure my parents retire happy and rich.


7) Marry my one true love, but no other.


8) Attend Muktamar at Dandara, Egypt.

I want to laugh at number 4! WHAT was I thinking?! Haha. I've already visited Japan, yayyy. And hopefully Scotland soon, ohmygosh. And number 8, insya Allah, soon enough.

I was browsing quotes and pretty pictures (which is like the most addictive exercise ever or something), and found someone quoting Arashi (from Fight Song)! :D

"People are people, and you are you. The moment you compare the two, you’ve lost. The strength to not lose to yourself will break down any wall."

From The Quote Book

:) Roald Dahl and Quentin Blake - my childhood. My entire Primary 3 class was reading Roald Dahl, and several books were always circulating in the classroom at any one time; and by the end of it, we'd all read most of Dahl's books.

 

The world makes you into either a saint or a cynic.

I shall not let my idealism transform into cynicism. Yes, sometimes, the rose-tinted lenses through which I view the world get shattered, but I've always thus far managed to piece the fragments back together somehow. Because you know, sometimes, at certain moments, with certain people, the world is truly pretty, even without my having to paint it all in pretty colours.

Also, this quote is in my head now; the first time I read it was in a Draco/Ginny fanfic, years ago in secondary school, and from the first time, it stuck. I don't even know if the author came up with it herself, or she quoted from somewhere else. I've always thought it was beautiful:

They say love is blind. But it's not. It sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it's willing to see less.

---

Today, my sister (you are greatly missed, my ultimate spaz buddy.) messaged from Egypt:

Hello sisu! :D How are youz. Kita dah balek ke Cairo drpd dandara. Mia-chan, muktamar is sugoi. HAVE YOU BEEN EATING RUBBISH?! Did amirudeen call? Hehe. I forgot how some ppl are super jinjang here. Hehe. Okay <3 you!

I think I badly want to go for muktamar next year. I bet it'll be exciting too -- cause it'll be the last one before 2012. *cue dramatic music*

When so many people seem to be constantly lying, how does one discern truth? :(

What on earth is JayZ saying in his songs. Seriously. Even if you don't buy in to all the conspiracy theory stuff (Rockefellers and corporate moguls and Satan at the top of it all running and corrupting the world etc), you have got to wonder what the frak at least 80% of his lyrics even refer to!

For instance, from the song/rap Roc Boys:

The Roc Boys in the building tonight
Look at how I'm chilling, I'm killing this ice
You don't even gotta bring ya purses out
We the dope boys of the year, drinks is on the house

and

I get away with murder when I sling yay
Niggas got less steps then Britney
That means it ain't stepped on, dig me?

No, I don't dig you. What steps? What ice? Am I missing something? But you don't really mean for people to get you, do you, JayZ, you cryptic evil person wrapped up in Mr. Nice Guy who married Beyonce.

I feel like we should let a team of cryptographers and detectives or maybe, literature professors, work on JayZ's album, and let them come up with an interpretation. It's like way harder than Shakespeare or Chaucer or Dunnett (haha) or any other literature. And it appalls me how the general person doesn't even care what the lyrics mean while they listen, and these people, like JayZ and that mad woman Lady Gaga, are winning fame, glory and wealth and influencing the youngsters of the world. I mean, if you are not awake to how nuts all this seems... I don't know. Are you awake?

Some more nutty, incomprehensible rap lyrics from JayZ's Hovi Baby (which is by the way, in itself, confusing -- because what the heck is hovi? Because as far as my research with google goes, the only Hovi I could identify was short for Hovawart, which is a dog... so, you tell me.):

Jeah, look
I'm so far ahead of my time, I'm bout to start another life
Look behind you, I'm bout to pass you twice
Back to the future and gotta slow up for the present
I'm fast, niggaz can't get past my past
How they propose to deal with my perfect present?
When I unwrap "The Gift & the Curse" in one session
Ain't no livin person can test him
Only two restin in heaven can be mentioned in the same breath as him
Seven straight summers, critics might not admit it
But nobody in rap did it, quite like I did it
If you did it I done it before, you get I had it
Got mad at it and don't want it no more
And that goes for everything from flippin that raw
Flippin whores, flippin vocal chords, don't get it twisted
Get it right, did different, did it better, did it nice
Did the impossible then did it twice (get it right)

Sometimes I think it might have been God's mercy or guidance that I ended up in Jpop and Kpop instead, although I was never much into mainstream American music anyway. And while yes, Asian entertainment is not necessarily free of the same vices of lechery or violence, at least the lyrics are mostly understandable and don't seem to cryptically hint at some weird evil. At least, my dear Arashi boys aren't wearing masonry symbols (by the way, stop lying about the hand symbol being a diamond, JayZ. -.- It is so obviously freemasonry.). They sing lame songs about rainbows and clouds and cheesy love, but obviously not evil is the point.

When you say things like this:

Roc-A-Fella Records
Dynasty continues, y'all die
Uh Huh, peace! 

 ~ Show Me What You Got

EVIL. Who tells people to die in their songs?! And then you say peace??? Mad, is it.

From a muslim sister maria.

A Strong Woman vs. A Woman of Strength 


A strong woman works out every day to keep her body in shape…
but a woman of strength kneels in prayer to keep her soul in shape…
A strong woman isn’t afraid of anything…
but a woman of strength shows courage in the midst of her fear…
A strong woman won’t let anyone get the best of her…
but a woman of strength gives the best of her to everyone…
A strong woman walks sure-footedly…
but a woman of strength knows Allah will catch her when she falls…
A strong woman wears the look of confidence on her face…
but a woman of strength wears grace…
A strong woman has faith that she is strong enough for the journey… but a woman of strength has faith that it is in the journey that she will become strong.

---

We Should Be THANKFUL...


We should be thankful that we don’t already have everything we desire,
If we did, what would there be for us to look forward to?
We should be thankful when we don’t know something,
for it gives us the opportunity to learn.
We should be thankful for the difficult times,
during those times we grow.
We should be thankful for our limitations,
because they give us opportunities for improvement.
We should be thankful for each new challenge,
because it will build our strength and character.
We should be thankful for our mistakes,
they will teach us valuable lessons.
We should be thankful when we are tired and weary,
because it means we have made a difference.
It is easy to be thankful for the good things.  
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also thankful for the setbacks.
GRATITUDE can turn a negative into a positive. We should find a way to be thankful for our troubles, for they can become our blessings.

:DDDDDD



I am so happy right now. Shaykh Hamza has tapak sandal Nabi s.a.w. on his wall (which is what we Dandarawis use all the time). It appears at 7.09 minutes. And he reads from Surat At-Taubah Ayat 128-129, which we read ALL THE TIME. My instinct was spot on, lah. OHMYGOSH. Sometimes, I think I am amazing. Haha.

@.@ Either he's already a Dandarawi at heart, or his background is from the Ahmadi Tariqah. I have to go ask Abah (when they all come back) if our selawats are based on Ahmadi or stg.

but ohmygosh, whatever it is -- SO HAPPY.

Where else can I find a man who chokes up with tears when he talks about how proud he is to see a sister with the hijab. Seriously. And so many other men are reading FHM and watching half-naked women on Miss Universe.





<3

Wah, that's it seh. Every man I meet from now on will be measured up to this standard.

Love Maki!

More than anything, I'm disappointed with myself. I'm supposed to be smarter than this.

---

From a muslim sister maria:

Repel the thought, for if you don’t, it becomes an idea. So repel the idea, for if you don’t it will become a desire. So fight against that (desire), for if you don’t, it will become a determination and a passion and if you don’t repel that, it will become an action. And if you don’t replace it with its opposite, it will become a constant habit. So at that point, it will be difficult for you to change it.

---

I love my granny lah, oh my gosh. She's seriously damn funny. She came over to stay these past few days before my parents and sister fly off to Egypt (leaving me all alone - yay? haha.), and when I chat her up, she always cracks me up.

Shah Rukh Khan apa yang lawa, renung lama-lama, muka macam Badul. 


Every time I talk to her, I realise I'm digging up my old chest of Malay vocabulary, and I suppose this improves my fluency. yayyy. Like today, I used the word uruskan (i.e. manage). Haha, I don't think I've ever used that in speech; at least, not that I can recall.

---

“A man came to the Prophet (SAW) and asked him “O Allah’s Messenger, tell me of something I can do to win Allah’s love and people’s love”. The Prophet answered “Do not love this world, Allah would love you and do not have a longing for whatever people have, people would love you”.  (Ibn-Majah) 

”There are three characteristics whoever has them will taste the sweetness of faith: that Allah and His Messenger(saw) are more loved by him than everything else, that he loves or does not love a person only for Allah’s sake and that he would hate to revert into disbelief just as he would hate to be thrown into fire.” (Al-Bukhari) 



From a muslim sister maria.

Warning: Lymond Fan Raving

I am in my I-need-my-Lymond-fix mood. You know, I realise, crap, I miss Lymond like crazy and wonder where my days of comfortable fangirling over English (haha) books have gone, and spazzing over wonderfully crafted phrases and profound lines. When will I ever have the time to reread Lymond? I feel like it's never going to happen or something.

Oh God, I feel old again. I feel like I'm being swept up by this horrible tide into the future, but I'm nowhere near ready or willing.

Anyway, before I ramble nonstop about incomprehensible feelings of girl-to-adult-woman transition, let me get back to my Lymond spaz: I went quote-hunting again. But of course, there isn't a one-stop place to find my favourite quotes. Which led me to silly fantasies of building my own database of Lymond quotes. Some day, when I have mastered SQL and database hosting and whatever else that comes with it, I might just have a Lymond quotes database (on top of the one million other silly ideas I have for databases). Some people are planning their path to their first paycheck or a house or a car or a family, and I am dreaming of a quotes database -- someone give me a reality check, please.

Anyway. This is funny. I can't decide which part to quote exactly, but her full review is here at her blog:

The first half or so of The Ringed Castle

I have no idea what the holy fuck is going on in Russia. I don’t care about any of this set of characters enough to try and figure out. Can we please get back to Philippa now? You know, where the plot we actually care about is occurring?

Don’t you dare kill Adam Blacklock. He’s sensitive. Leave him alone, you big bullies.

Lymond’s sex drive makes even less sense than his other motivations, but it’s especially random here. He and Guzel put off sleeping together until… Lymond is in charge of Russia? Being in charge of Russia is Guzel’s kink? Is it only Guzel’s kink, or does Lymond get off on it, too? I have no idea. This is both the most graphic sex scene and the most inexplicable relationship in the series thus far.

Also, Lymond is being voluntarily and (I think?) relatively non-angstily gay - but I think Venceslas is supposed to be like, twelve. Shouldn’t Lymond have a gigantic complex about that, after what happened to Khaireddin? Is Lymond even supposed to like sex? Why do the other characters talk about his sex life so much? (Aside from the obvious.) Why are most of his relationships either non-consensual, off-screen, or invented by other people? Has anyone written a paper about this? Did Dunnett Even Actually Know Where She Was Going With This One?: Lymond’s Confusing Sex Life and The Ringed Castle’s Kinda-Weakness.

I agree about the first half of Ringed Castle for me being all bleagh-can-we-get-back-to-Philippa-please! Haha.

Also, because I watched a bit of High School Musical 3 with my sis tonight (with numerous outbursts of laughter and audible smacks from face-palming at the utter sap and corniness), and found a line I really surprisingly liked:

I feel like I know you on a vibe-y level.

:D

ohhhmygod - I realise that Shaykh Hamza Yusuf is Scottish by race, and I can't help but think how a lot of my favourite things (e.g. Lymond and Harry Potter) come from Scotland. All the more reason for me to make the grad trip to Scotland a reality.

But ohmygod, this man. I am close to spazzing about him the way I would spaz about my favourite star or stg, but in a totally valid and real way (whatever I mean by that :P). We need more people like Shaykh Hamza in Islam; he's the most intelligent Muslim speaker and scholar I have ever seen (but okay, I haven't seen many for myself); he embodies everything I feel is right and true about Islam; his brain is like a treasure trove of knowledge of both Islam and everything not Islam as well; he's so eloquent and passionate and compassionate; he has awesome views on women and family and the worth and dignity of human beings; and gosh, I can't help but feel jealous of his wife, haha. And most importantly, he loves Nabi s.a.w., which is my yardstick for assessment of any Muslim scholar (Ami Ali should be happy with me). Every time I find some new lecture of his on youtube (I go yay!), I can't help but agree and feel awed and humbled and moved, and go please, why aren't there more Muslim men who awe me like this.

xkcd has some side project: a database of limericks, called LimericksDB.

Their limericks are somewhat of the same vein as their comics - geeky, mad and sometimes dirty. Haha.

A UNIX saleslady, Lenore,
Enjoys work, but she likes the beach more.
She found a good way
To combine work and play:
She sells C shells by the seashore.

-- 

A dying mosquito exclaimed,
"A chemist has poisoned my brain!"
The cause of his sorrow
Was para-dichloro-
Diphenyl-trichloroethane  

--

ohmygod, this one! XD

A programmer started to cuss
Because getting to sleep was a fuss
As he lay there in bed
Looping 'round in his head
was: while(!asleep()) sheep++;

What other people say about Prophet Muhammad s.a.w..

"Head of the State as well as the Church, he was Caesar and Pope in one; but he was Pope without the Pope's pretensions, and Caesar without the legions of Caesar, without a standing army, without a bodyguard, without a police force, without a fixed revenue. If ever a man ruled by a right divine, it was Muhammad, for he had all the powers without their supports. He cared not for the dressings of power. The simplicity of his private life was in keeping with his public life."

~ Reverend Bosworth Smith in 'Muhammad and Muhammadanism,' London, 1874

"If greatness of purpose, smallness of means, and astonishing results are the three criteria of a human genius, who could dare compare any great man in history with Muhammad? The most famous men created arms, laws, and empires only. They founded, if anything at all, no more than material powers which often crumbled away before their eyes. This man moved not only armies, legislations, empires, peoples, dynasties, but millions of men in one-third of the then inhabited world; and more than that, he moved the altars, the gods, the religions, the ideas, the beliefs and the souls."

~ Alphonse de LaMartaine in 'Historie de la Turquie,' Paris, 1854.

---

Wah, I'm really bad with names. I can't remember the name of this girl who I did a project with last semester, and I bumped into her, said hi, but couldn't for the life of me recall her name. (And she remembered mine, which makes this worse.) :O It's a Chinese one, which makes it it even harder -- starts with an L, maybe? haiyah.


Feel inexplicably gloomy. Yesterday, I was talking to Shweta in CYZ's class (which was unbearably soporific -- Shweta could tell I wasn't listening from the glazed look in my eyes, I quote her, haha) and started discussing about how much emotions are influenced by hormones. I mean, seriously. It's almost funny -- how you're so distraught for a moment or period in time, and then a week later, you realise that, BAH! It was right before that time of the month. It happened to Mumu too: she called me up in a state of stress and tears, and then a few days later, she established that it was PMS. I felt strangely amused and comforted by this. Like maybe, yes, stupid hormones do take over the control of our physical realities. (Being a woman is stressful, please.)

This by no means, however, diminishes the existence of a problem or extenuating circumstance. The shit and crap we have to deal with is still there. The hormones just exacerbate the response with which we approach said problem. Instead of trying to be logical and rational and to behave as calmly as possible, the emotions become uncontrollable and in the extreme, one can almost go ballistic. Haha. Also, I recall the period in early 2006, when I think I was majorly depressed -- and during that time, I attributed it all to the stresses of uni applications, lack of confidence and feeling lost about life goals etc -- but now, I think it had a lot to do with my thyroid imbalance problem (which has been said to cause depression). Because I think I definitely got better when I got healthier.

Now it makes me want to philosophically contemplate the essence of emotions, if it can be so easily driven by these chemical substances called hormones. I mean, really, how much of anything that we feel is real, huh? I can't recall now where I heard this: but there was a documentary, I think, that mentioned how casual sex is theoretically impossible, because the hormones generated during sexual intimacy is almost too-closely coupled with the hormones they have identified to correlate with the emotion of love. So no such thing as no-strings-attached-sex -- almost inevitably, emotions will develop over time through the existence of all those hormones, and you can bet strings will be attached.

---

How did I start rambling like that when I have tons of work to do? -.-

I'm really looking forward to Maki's movie! :DDDD Please come to Singapore, okay.

The trailer! The feel of the movie is upbeat and exciting, despite the fact that it's supposed to be a painful, growing-up story, and the fact that she's got amnesia. Also, the star-studded cast is enough reason to watch! :P Maki, Tego, MatsuKen and Anton Yelchin all in one place? Yayyyeee.



The press conference where Maki speaks English like a JAL stewardess, haha. Nonetheless, better than Pi!

Had sayyidat liqa' today, and was happy as a result. I think liqa' just makes me happy these days. yatta! The rest of the world should be this wonderful too.

The most memorable part of today's liqa' was when Kak Faridah was recounting the story of Sayidatina Aisyah r.a. asking Rasulullah s.a.w. to make doa for her. So Rasulullah prayed for Allah to forgive her past sins, her future sins, the sins she committed in secret and the sins she committed in the open. And so Sayidatina Aisyah was very happy. Rasulullah asked her, "You are pleased with my doa?" And Sayidatina Aisyah said, "Yes, very much so, ya Rasulullah." And then Rasulullah said, "I say the same doa for my ummah every day."

There was a collective audible gasp amongst all the ladies at that. How wonderful is that. How can you not want to cry thinking of this wonderful, wonderful gift of a person. How can you think other than that we owe him more than our lives. How is it possible to not love him, seriously. These days, I feel like even if my life were to be reduced to my living alone in a ditch somewhere, I would still feel happy because I've found Rasulullah, and I ain't letting him go.

---

Roamed xkcd yesterday and laughed at this:

And this one took me a few seconds, but I like it!

---

Fandom rambles

My JE updates of course comes in the form of email spazzes from Duck, and today I ended up reading some random tabloid she linked to, about Yamapi and supposed scandalous photos of kissing. The photos, as expected, are nowhere to be found and likely do not exist. Reading the comments however, I find people actually hoping to see Pi and Keiko together cause they thought the two in Buzzer Beat were awesome and "totally made for each other". I was like this in response: O__o

All I can say is, they probably haven't seen what real chemistry is. Putting two pretty people together does not necessarily mean sparks. Me and sis were totally unmoved by Buzzer Beat's romance plot! It was ultra bland and I could care less if the characters ended up on opposite sides of the earth. I was just watching it for Pi alone. (haha.) Even Pi/Masami in Proposal Daisakusen was better than Pi/Keiko.

Pi/Maki - gosh. (You know I was heading there.) Every time people gush about Pi/some other random girl, I think that they probably haven't seen Pi/Maki. His smiles around Maki were to die for; since the days of Kurosagi and Nobuta, I have yet to see Pi smile like that again. When there's chemistry, they can be a foot apart and they are still oh-my-god-so-awesome-together and you want to root for them like some kaypoh, matchmaking aunty. The two were so awesome as a pair, even talk show hosts were teasing them like crazy. Please, newbie fans (who haven't even watched Kurosagi, which I find appalling). Educate yourself a little - Pi/Maki still tops the others.

I've been feeling inclined to revive my arabic again, and my teacher gave awesome websites like this: Ajeeb!

Yes yes yes, one day I shall be able to speak arabic like it's my mother tongue. I will, I will, I will! (Also, hopefully Japanese on the side, cause Jap is fun and my hobby. muaha.)

And I was just thinking -- how in this world, we do stoooopid things. It's normal, right? eeeyaar. I suppose, if one doesn't recognise when one is stupid, then one cannot progress to more clever things. Maybe. Okay, I should go to school already.

Had dinner at Swensens tonight, and my mum started telling us about her dream about Yamapi! I was like, No fair! Haha. She said she was at the market in Tampines (to think Pi would come to Tampines! XD) and there was a big commotion and it turned out to be fans mobbing Pi. And after a while, she decided to get his autograph as well and he was nice and took a photo with her. Haiyah, why don't I dream more of JE. :P

Also, tonight, sis and me started realising how much we miss not just Pi, but Pi and Maki. (My sis actually started whining about it.) My gosh, I would love to see those two in the same frame again. Please. Their OTP-ness should be exploited. I don't care if in real life they're weirdly estranged or whatever, I want to see them together on the screen! Mou. So much pretty angst, all gone to waste, otherwise.

Today was panic-over-FYP day. The graduate student, on whose help I am entirely dependent, was not at her desk all afternoon, so I couldn't get hold of her. Had to leave a handwritten note on her table. 2 months left to submission! :s

I really wonder where and what I'll be doing in about five months time.

I keep wishing Shaykh Hamza would come to Singapore to speak. I'd be almost ecstatic or something.