When I've just woken up, I realise I'm the crankiest. And before I sleep, I'm the zaniest, and essentially, you can make me agree to almost anything. Woke up this morning feeling stressed because I still haven't done a ton of work and I know guests will be flooding my house today, and how am I to get anything done, seriously?

But now, I just feel a little better cause I'm a little less cranky and work seems more doable and appears less like an insurmountable obstacle.

Also finally downloading Inoue Mao on Himitsu no Arashi-chan! :)

"The emerging picture from such studies is that ten thousand hours of practice is required to achieve the level of mastery associated with being a world-class expert - in anything," writes the neurologist Daniel Levitin. "In study after study, of composers, basketball players, fiction writers, ice skaters, concert pianists, chess players, master criminals, and what have you, this number comes up again and again. Of course, this doesn't address why some people get more out of practice sessions than others do. But no one has yet found a case in which true world class expertise was accomplished in less time. It seems that it takes the brain this long to assimilate all that it needs to know to achieve true mastery."

~ Malcolm Gladwell, Outliers: The Story of Success, The 10,000-Hour Rule

What have you done for at least 10, 000 hours? Haha.

To get a sense of how absurd the selection process at elite Ivy League schools has become, consider the following statistics. In 2008, 27,462 of the most highly qualified high school seniors in the world applied to Harvard University. Of these students, 2,500 of them scored a perfect 800 on the SAT critical reading test and 3,300 had a perfect score on the SAT math exam. More than 3,300 were ranked first in their high school class. How many did Harvard accept? About 1,600, which is to say they rejected 93 out of every 100 applicants. Is it really possible to say that one student is Harvard material and another isn't, when both have identical - and perfect - academic records? Of course not. Harvard is being dishonest. Shwartz is right. They should just have a lottery.

~ Malcolm Gladwell, Outliers: The Story of Success, The Trouble With Geniuses, Part 1

No one who can rise before dawn three hundred sixty days a year fails to make his family rich. ~ Chinese saying, quoted in Outliers: The Story of Success, Rice Paddies and Math Tests

The world is your oyster? You shape your destiny? Well -- to an extent. The rest is God's will; whether you ended up in the right family, the right country, the right human race, the right school, or the right environment. It's all a wonderful combination of perfect circumstances mostly out of your control, much like the creation of the universe, that results in a desired outcome.

Every time I have a paper to write, I would take days just to prime my brain for it. :P I don't know, I just can't sit in front of a blank screen immediately and type. It just doesn't work that way for me, with writing at least. If I force myself to do so, I would most surely hate the outcome; the writing would sound bad or wrong, in some way. I would let the topic simmer in my brain for days even while I do a million other things, and when the deadline looms nearer, I would stare at the blank paper but still not write. The simmering still goes on.

The writing happens by a sudden stroke of inspiration or enthusiasm or when I know the simmering just cannot go on any longer lest I overshoot the deadline.

Meh, this is tiring. This simmering is tiring. It's like trying to picture the whole paper in my mind; or rather to envision the essence of the underlying message to be conveyed so that I know what to build my words on.

---

Hoping to watch the Buzzer Beat finale tonight!

This is one of my favourite parts of the Arrivals series. Mel asked me once if I really, really think Islam has been badly portrayed by the media since forever and my answer is yes; this video definitely says so.



And I found this astonishing compilation called "Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) in Various Scriptures of the World". In typical Qura'an translations, when Allah said that tidings of Muhammad were written in the old scriptures, these scriptures were normally taken as the Jewish Torah and the Christian Bible. But here, they've shown that other scriptures in Hinduism and Buddhism are involved too. :O

What shall I say about today? Hm. Got to Ghufran Mosque earlier than usual, I thought, but we ended up at the 7th row (usually it's the 3rd) of the female section. The khutbah (i.e. sermon) was about the usual "How well did we spend Ramadhan?" and this year, I'm glad to see less people just up and leave the moment they're done with prayers. More stayed to listen. And oh, there was a humungous wasp in the congregation for a while that had me crouching close to my sister and covering my face with my telekung. :P

Food was more than enough, also as is per normal. Ketupats, lepats, rendang, lodeh, sambal goreng, sambal prawns, my mum's meat cake, babat and more.

At Cik An's place, Insyirah was cute for a while and I played with her, but then she started crying.

And then got to Babawok's place which was crowded like crazy, the way it is every year. I was so tired and despite the unbearable heat and humidity, I dozed off a little. Our photo-taking session at the end was fun and crazy though. I'm trying to decide if I'll put some up here or in facebook or not at all.

Ja! Still have visiting to do tomorrow. And my brain is somewhat fried.

---

My rose-tinted spectacles got shattered today too. Again, I should say. Mou. :( When will I stop letting fluff take over my brain.

Fan Raving

1) I watched Becky on Himitsu no Arashi-chan (ep 63, to anyone who might want to look it up) last night (thanks to Duckie's link) and omg, it's one of the most hysterical episodes ever. Sis and I were seriously screaming and screeching in laughter! XD Even now, if I think of any part of it, I smile helplessly.

Main highlight: she said her ideal kiss was the HYD Season 1 kiss; when Makino chased after Domyouji's plane and she confessed her love and he hugged her mid-sentence and they kissed with the sunset in the background -- and they actually played that scene during the show and Becky KYAA-ed like on the spot, and omgosh, it was hysterically funny and adorable. MatsuJun was kind of embarrassed to watch it again -- it was so funny!

I'm so syncing this to my iPod. :P

2) After watching last night's episode, I was on such a high and I wondered for the millionth time how Arashi can be made of so much awesome. This miraculously amazing combination of five personalities - gosh. They are so lovable, at times I feel like squishing them. Oh, Arashi. You are so wonderful that I sometimes resent my love for NEWS. How mad is that.

3) Visited dramacrazy.net to check if the Buzzer Beat finale was up (not yet, meh.) and realised next season's Jdramas have been finalised. I got really excited because OMGOSH!!! @.@ They're doing Liar Game Season 2!!!!!!!! I watched Season 1 in my really, really early days of fangirling, and yes, it was repetitive and majorly flawed in many ways, but it rocked in terms of characterisation so man, I AM EXCITED to see Matsuda Shota being cool again, please. He was this uber-smart badass just released from jail and Toda Erika played a naive, honest girl he decided to deign to help. And their pairing was not explored!!! Please do in the second season. You have to.

4) Other Jdramas to consider checking: Aiba's My Girl! He's gonna play a dad! And Miura Haruma in Samurai Seventeen -- basically a high school dude who realises he has samurai powers or stg like that? Whatever, sword-wielding heroes are always my cup of tea! :) And Miura Haruma wasn't bad in Bloody Monday (I didn't finish the drama but he was likeable).

5) Maki's Hollywood-directed movie, Nakushita Kioku, which stars Tego and MatsuKen, has, I hear, been postponed for release in spring next year. :(

okay, done.

I'm recalling moments from last sem now, when there were eight of us in Drug Design class and virtually all of us were so incredibly blur on how to use the Rapidminer software to build our machine-learning model. It was a hysterical time. Funny and stressful. Machine-learning, just in case you're curious, is a method where predictions are made not based on the understanding of process or mechanism but from already known data. So for example: say I don't know why some things are poisonous and why some are not, but I know what these things are. I want to be able to tell if something else I come across is poisonous or not, regardless -- so I build a model/system that tries to predict just by the examples that I do know. Does this make sense?

I should let Eunice explain, since it's her FYP project. :P

Anyway, I'm remembering all this because I have another software to contend with for FYP -- called Cell Designer -- and I feel really stupid right now, because I can't even draw a freaking reaction arrow for a protein interaction! >:| It's like... UGGGH. The arrow refuses to materialise! Why isn't it easy and simple like in Microsoft Word.

And I cannot see the big picture of my project very well. I hate it when all my thoughts are in pieces and I cannot see what all my efforts are leading to. It makes me feel like tearing up things in frustration. I shall wake up tomorrow and do a mind map when I'm in a better state of mind. -.-

That is, if I have any time amidst all the nagging I'm anticipating from my mum tomorrow. The house will be turned upside down cause raya is on Sunday and we are supposed to be cleaning and marketing and more. And my room is still a mess -- I don't know what to do. D: how to juggle!

Stress aside: anyway, in case I don't come here tomorrow or the day after, Eid Mubarak! :)))

...the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “This community of mine is a community blessed with mercy. It is not punished in the Hereafter. Instead, it is punished in this world with strife, instability, and bloodshed.” [Musnad Ahmad, Sunan Abî Dâwûd, and Mustadrak al-Hâkim]

"Useful knowledge is that which makes you grow in the fear of Allah, increases you in awareness of your defects, deepens your knowledge of the worship of your Lord Most High, decreases your desire for this world and increases your desire for the life to come, and opens your eyes to the defects of your actions so that you guard against them."

-Imam Ghazali

I ate a pineapple tart yesterday, since raya is coming and all and my mum is slowly but surely stacking up the bottles of kuih in the kitchen. But this wasn't any pineapple tart. This was my aunt's famous ones. The moment I put them in my mouth -- nyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. Sweetness and nostalgia. I am brought back to Cik Nah's old house with those marble floors and I'm five years old or something and sitting next to the jar of pineapple tarts. The taste is awesome; the most amazing tarts in the world to me. There are such things, right? Wonderful little things that bring back sweet memories just by their taste or smell or sight.

Life is really made wonderful by the little things, I'm thinking.

Like tonight, the fact that, yes! I finally found a nice, new NEWS desktop background and arranged all my icons nicely, makes me happy.

And because I am so far gone in fandom, I'm now actually recalling something Pi said in his nikki (or was it his seventeen column?) in relation to this. He said, how people have such big dreams and big ambitions and big desires all the time, they tend to forget the beautiful little things they should be grateful for. See why I love this boy? How can he be so famous and everything and still be so good and humble? Unless he's faking it, of course. He can't be faking it! :( That'd make me so sad.

I was on the bus home today, and I was just daydreaming out the window as I am wont to do, and literally felt my anxieties deflate in size. Because again, I'd learnt to take perspective. And I realise that hey, so what if I don't take the supposed obvious route to supposed perceptions of success? I am truly, truly content with taking my own little steps at a time. Yes, I have my weaknesses but recognising them has helped me grow. And that as long as I know my own worth, then it doesn't matter at all. Because God would know me too. (Better than me, I should say.) It made me smile, just thinking that.

And that all I have to do is give my best.

These days, I'm really starting to appreciate the true meaning of Islam; utter submission to Allah.

Because I am random, as I have said many times, I want to paste a picture of Maki! God. I miss her. And it's worse than loving JE because she doesn't release albums or whatnot so we don't get to see her as much if she isn't in a drama. And man, there's just something about her, see?

It's relatively easy to find pretty faces I suppose, but to be able to photograph like this? Her photos are all so nggggh, gorgeous. Why does she have such wonderful expressions? It gives her photos depth. I keep ridiculously thinking I want to be Maki when I grow up, but of course I'm supposed to be grown up (meh!) and she's actually a year younger than me. :P But oh, how are you so elegant and graceful and I'm always the clumsy silly girl.

Mouuuuu. D:

Am so unbearably weak against distractions. Been trying to work on that pairwork Prof Chen gave us, but seriously -- this is super tedious and I just want (food.) to do something else! I need an energy source.

I've been contemplating on whether to put up this video here, for a long time now. But I rewatched the last part of the speech again, and it always manages to make me cry, and so I've decided it deserves to be on my blog.

It's a little something about the personal experiences of a man who finally embraced Islam. Watch it from beginning to end if you like - part one is linked to this one via youtube. Go watch! It's not boring at all.

Only 8 nights left of Ramadhan! :(

OMG TEGOSHI AND IMOTO ARE THE FUNNIEST THING. XD



Basically, Imoto has this supposed on-going on-screen crush with Tegoshi and it is often teased about every time their variety show ItteQ airs. Like, the hosts would ask Tego, So what did you think of Imoto in the bikini? or Imoto, you want to hug Tego right! Imoto is of course made out to be this really uncouth schoolgirl character, with unbelievably thick eyebrows, and her supposed pairing with pretty JE boy Tego is simply a source of amazing comic relief. The way Tego always tries to get around her overt advances are just hilarious to watch.

And this one is one of my favourites! Imoto asks (leaning into his personal space as she does so) if Tego can kiss her when she finishes her marathon for 24HRTV -- and Tego leans away from her and says, "Can you ask through my talent agency please?" HAHAHAHA. XD Omg, seriously.

I gave up on my stats tutorial for tonight and this is what I do. :P

This was done completely on impulse because I am currently in love with this song. (Credit goes to my sister for introducing the song - she insists. -_-) And everytime I listen, I feel happy. And I think of my friends and the lovely people I know. So yes, despite the fact that I actually have proper work to do, I just had to do this. And this video is by no means a documentation of all my friends. God knows I lost all my photos prior to 2008 anyway, due to a computer crash (so all images of RJ and RG are gone! sad, I know.), and I realise I really don't have photos of some very important people. Also, this was meant to be random, and all photos are either pictures of happy people or happy things or anything that has its theme in friendship.

And here's the complete english translation of Together by Monkey Majik:

if I were to grow wings on my back
i want to convey to you right now
this overflowing happiness

riding in the swaying wind
in the glittering light of the future
together, forever

this scenery that i've been seeing in my dream
if you try to make your ears listen carefully to the harmony
"is it ok? is this path correct?"
I was always shaken by anxiety

without even looking back
I've come quite a long way
more than anything else, changing too much, too fast
it's never gonna stop, we'll keep it on top
and be together

if I were to grow wings on my back
i want to convey to you right now
this overflowing happiness

riding in the swaying wind
in the glittering light of the future
together, forever

I got this feeling deep inside me
it's a miracle, this miracle of our meeting
I don't believe that I'm alone
you tried to tell me and now i see
you've always understood
but now i've opened up my heart
I can't wait to hold you in my arms

if I was able to look back
would have I been able to come this far?
more than anything else, changing too much, too fast
it's never gonna stop, we'll keep it on top
and be together

if I were to grow wings on my back
i want to convey to you right now
this overflowing happiness

riding in the quivering wind
in the glittering light of the future
together, forever

try to walk away
always from the same ol' day
every little step I take
becomes my own

this feeling won't change, won't fade away
one more time
you are the one for me
you are the only one

the sky that spreads out in front of my eyes
i want to convey it to you right now
this nostalgic joy

with you forever
this future i've tried to forget
together forever
forever

i remember the enjoyable days
forever

(Source)

I am happy tonight. Because I had a hard day, but I had wonderful people to help make it all the better. They didn't have to do anything, they just had to be there, and it's all the better.

And watching 24 hour tv is just really good exercise for the heart and mind. Work hard and live proud. :) That should be one of the axioms of life.

There's nothing to cry over in this vid -- it's NEWS saying some last comments and singing Weeek (the audio's really bad I think, cause even Tego sounded weird!) but I cried anyway! Don't know -- maybe cause I'm seriously in need of encouragement tonight and their words moved me. But maybe it's cause I'm happy for NEWS too. :))) Yay, guys, you did awesome. I totally expected Koyama to tear in the show, and Yamapi too and even when Shige started almost full-out bawling (haha!), I wasn't surprised. (Although I was half-embarrassed for him. :P) But it was Tego that did it for me! Adorable, normally self-absorbed Tego was struggling against tears when Imoto finally finished her crazy long marathon of 120+ km for charity. (And he hugged her like he promised!) Aw, Tego. You have a wonderful heart too. <3

I have these moments when I wonder if I have a split personality. Don't you? Like you wonder how you could be such an emotional fool at that point in time, or how you could even think in such a manner. I go like, Why??? What is wrong with me? It doesn't make sense!

Life has a lot of things that don't make sense. Yet? Maybe some day we'll know. Ooh, I'm remembering that song!

Some day you will know
If love can move a mountain
Some day you will know
Why the sky is blue
Some day you will know
That I was the one for you...

I'm in the Science computer lab now, trying to edit my aunt's seven-page essay for her. Editing is not such an easy task, especially if you feel compelled to just revamp the entire thing and make it prettier. Prettier in the sense of prettier and more descriptive words.

Gah, my brain is drawing blanks right now. Tired. Not sure why, but just a little tired.

My Sinbad, Shipwrecks and Singapore USP module has a term paper, which is better called a novella. Basically, I'm supposed to write up a fictional essay on any one of the characters that could possibly have been around in the 9th century, in connection to the ship that would sink off the coast of Sumatra in appx. 832 AD, near Belitung Island. Not only is this a wonderful narrative the likes of which I haven't attempted in years - but at moments, I get totally excited because hello, I am ultimately attempting a piece of historical fiction! How awesome is this. And I realise that throughout the term, we're all basically doing research for it - looking at cracked pots from the shipwreck and reading about Srivijaya and Buddhist monks and Arabs and Persians in China (who were locally called ta-xi and po-si respectively) - it's all in preparation for the story.

You know, USP modules may be hard and troublesome and endangering to my CAP, but little experiences like this go a long way, I think. At least they stay longer in my memory.

Okay, back to work!