picture in my mind

Sometimes I think it just gets too hard. Work, life, the whole thing.

I think it's pretty much official about myself - that I start laughing at a higher frequency when I'm stressed. Which is a good thing, I guess, because it sort of relieves some of that stress. I remember me and Jean cracking our heads over physics S in JC and me laughing my head off at the fact that we couldn't do the questions. I dont know, finding myself clueless over math questions for instance sets me off somehow. The situation seems ridiculous. Like today, me, aisyah and adilah were having a freaking hard time doing math at the maple lab. We couldn't do the last half of it and I just wanted to laugh and laugh. Aisyah was like, "Shamiah, I want to cry..." I was like, "Me too!" But I was laughing away. And Adilah said, "Die you Maple! Die!" Which of course sent me into another fit of giggles. Really. But I got home and the stress got too much and I felt so terribly misunderstood, that I finally cried.

Anyway, I painfully took down all of the metaphors in Walter Lippmann's text for writing class. And I just wanted to add this idea of his here, that's very interesting, and also quite true I think. He says, "Sometimes people create their own facade when they think they are revealing the interior scene." He was referring to autobiographers and how when they reveal intimate details about themselves to others, they think they're revealing the truth about themselves but they're just telling people what they think about themselves. So I was thinking about blogs and how, whatever I'm blogging, is what I think of myself, and the truth of me? Who knows. Only God then. Or perhaps the only way to know someone as much as possible is to live with them.

Also, I wanted to talk about Speed. My favourite action movie ever. It played on Star Movies last night and I watched it again (can't resist). The first time I saw it was when I was eight and I fell in love with a Hollywood star for the first time. I don't care if Keanu isn't Oscar material, he's just so terribly good-looking. And it's been more than 10 years, and man, it's true what they say: first loves don't fade. So last night was nice cause I got to watch it again although I didn't do my programming tutorial. And it was funny too cause my brother and sister kept discussing Keanu's perfectly shaped eyebrows and whether he actually trimmed it or shaped it or whatnot. Rubbish I say. All au natural.