picture in my mind

It's been quite a while.

Life has been... what's the word; not purposeless, not exactly. More like life has been indefinite. For as long as I can remember, I've always known what the next step was going to be. You know, after Pri 1, there's Pri 2, and then 3, 4... And then Sec 1, and then JC. But now. I don't know where I'm going. And it's scary. I'm scared that I may regret a choice, and I cannot turn back.

It's fine being a teacher. I think it's also fine being a doctor, just the whole stress of handling lives. (just. hah.) It's fine being a scientist. It's fine being a manager. Everything's just fine. Right now, I need to know which would be more than fine; better, good, fantastic. Read me the future, please. I say the same thing everytime.

Have I mentioned that kids are tactless? They give the absolute naked truth, no hesitation. They tell you straight to your face if you're pretty, ugly, your clothes don't match or how boring it is to where the same shoes all the time. Sorry, but I don't exactly have a walk-in wardrobe, kids. I wore my glasses to school for the past two days and it's as though I've gotten a nose ring and marred my face for life. 'Teacher, why you wear glasses! Why! Why! You look funny. You look ugly.' Very nice, kids.

Of course, there's an upside to this tactlessness: Juicy gossip. Recently, a P2 kid told me and his entire class that he saw two teachers from the school doing stuff at MacDonalds. Of course, he never came about to saying what exactly that stuff was, because he just kept trailing off at the end of his sentence, but I concluded from the hysterical laughter of his friends and the constant 'EEEEEE' sound. I was almost hysterically laughing myself. Those poor teachers. But how could they. In public, where students could spot you. Very careless.

Also, I have very much confirmed my obsessive-compulsive disorder. I had once spent over $200 on Lymond, and that was bad enough. Recently, I splurged more on some dvds. A lot more, I might add. And to be specific, I bought the Roswell series, which cost a hell of a lot of money. Was in aftershock for one afternoon. My obsessions will be the death of me. Financially, parentally, mentally, socially.