picture in my mind

Today is such a bad day.

And losing my handphone was really the last straw. (So you know why if I don't reply to messages.)

Nothing really bad happened per se (except the losing handphone part) but I was experiencing a lot of morale crushing (due to inability to solve physics questions and repetitive careless mistakes) and panic attacks. Prelim timetable is out, you see. And they had to be so inhumanely evil and put the Bio S paper before the hols. Which gives me, let me see... only about a month left.

My resting heartrate has increased.

And I think my handphone was stolen. Being the stupid psycho that I am, I normally put my handphone in the open side pocket of my bag. It's a crime-inducing position, if I can call it so. And I clearly remember placing it there when we left delifrance. So some itchy hand (I hope that hand burns in hell) must have swiped my old yet beloved handphone from its resting place. The first time I noticed was when I wanted to listen to the radio in the train. I was frantically opening and closing my bag, digging around for my phone, praying for it to be somewhere. I must have appeared really... mad.

The whole fiasco was really the last straw.

I desperately want to do well for coming exams. I desperately want to have the opportunity for scholarship and overseas study. That's the problem with wanting things so badly, or loving something so dearly - you have so much to lose.