picture in my mind

For the past two days, I have been attached to two neurologists (with 6 other people) at Tan Tock Seng Hospital. So far, it has been extremely enlightening. And tiring as well.

The attributes that a doctor should have (According to Dr Lee):
Passion
Empathy
Humility
Patience
Clarity of thought (A bit worried about this, seeing as how muddled up I can get about things.)

I've been thinking and thinking... and thinking. About what I want to do with my life. Is being a doctor it? At certain points of time, I am so sure. But then... certain things will discourage me. The competition for placing in med school. (200 out of 1300 or so applicants succeed). The seemingly bloody difficult exams. The years of studying. (appx 15 years to be a specialist). The cutting up of live bodies - do I have the guts? Am I decisive enough to be a doctor? Can I handle the pressure of being responsible for someone's life?

When I do feel sure, it's because when I'm at the hospital, I seem to think I can work in that sort of environment. The whole team of nurses and all of the staff (therapist, radiographer etc)... their seamless communication and cooperation, with the sole purpose of serving patients and saving lives, inspire me. I also think the 'detective work' of diagnosing patients' diseases very exciting and intellectually challenging. And what is better than knowing that your work helps other people? In this case, it prolongs their lives. That motivates me. (Apparently, the advice for choosing the right career is finding that thing that motivates you. So you can enjoy your job and make it your hobby.) And imagining myself when I'm 40 saving people's lives makes me excited. My life would have meaning.

And when I was on the way home on the train yesterday, a million thoughts about my future, my life and my career, rushing through my head, I saw a rainbow. The second time in three days. That's quite something. And it seemed like a sign. Or a good omen. I just grinned like mad. No one else seemed bothered about the rainbow. I didn't think anyone noticed. Except for this lady who just stared at it with a stony face. Honestly! It's a rainbow! How often do you see rainbows in Singapore? At least think pleasant thoughts! It gave me hope for the future somehow... seeing that rainbow. (: