picture in my mind

Why are the forums gone??? Gasp. Nooooooo. Precious discussion threads!

There are always days when everything seems to go wrong. I feel like there's nothing to look forward to. And it gets harder and harder to laugh. And nothing good happens. Depression just sinks in, you know.

The future really seems bleak to me right now. And when I flipped through the straits times today (a rare event), I got even more depressed. The world is so superficial. You know how the papers have a new look now, and they dedicate a thick section to fashion. I just got so disgusted at certain things. About how one lady seems to think that spending thousands on botox and cosmetic surgery in general and staying young is better than going on vacations and travelling the world. When I would, without much hesitation, choose the latter. I simply think it absolutely stupid to forgo travelling the world to look pretty... for who? Her husband, who she claims she has to satisfy lest he runs away with a more beautiful and youthful girl. What kind of husband is that? What kind of love requires a wife to do that? I suppose you want to look beautiful for your husband, but doing it for fear he looks to others? Ugh.

It just irates me... this whole obsession over looks. I would willingly splurge on books, movies, computers and especially holidays. But spending a huge amount on clothes, fashion accessories and branded shoes for instance, never agreed well with me. I just feel it such a waste. I always think, "Why would it be so much fun to wear something expensive?" I could use the money for an enjoyable novel instead, or a good movie. Okay... you would look good with good clothes. And if you look good... then...? You feel good, they say. But why? Because you like the attention? The admiration? You make more friends? You meet more people? You attract the opposite sex? What??? I'm just trying to find out why humans are innately vain, to some extent. Maybe looking good brings respect? Perhaps. Hm. And if you look disgusting, people shirk you. Hm.

So. Besides the whole superficiality of the world today, which depressed me even more, I read about the three sikhs and the two muslims girls who got expelled from the french school because they refused to remove their religious accessories. Which did not just make me more depressed, but made me madder. What is wrong with wearing or adorning religious symbols as long as we respect each other and don't impose on each other? It's better than throwing people out just because they have conviction for their beliefs. Don't those people understand that for some individuals, certain things which seem ridiculous or stupid to most, like wearing headscarves or turbans, might actually be very important. And it is not as easy as, "Don't wear first ah... Education more important what...". Don't they realise that some people feel that obeying God is more important than obeying the bloody government?

Oh, and I resent how the french view the wearing of headscarves as a form of oppression or a sign of Islamic radicalism! How dare they. You think I would wear the headscarf willingly if it was meant to oppress me??? The headscarf does not oppress women!!! It protects the modesty of women. I think the only disadvantage for a woman to wear a headscarf is the immediate discrimination we get from others! The lower chances of passing a job interview or working as a receptionist, say. (You see, a receptionist has to be pretty, show that beautful mane of hair and bare some skin for the pleasure of guests.) Ugh.

And for god's sake! If they mention one more time about being a moderate muslim, I will scream. There's no such thing as a moderate muslim! What the hell does being moderate mean? Either you believe in your religion, or you don't. I don't want to be like the majority of the Turks who say they're Muslims but don't behave as Muslims and drink alcohol and dress clothes that barely cover half the body. If that is being moderate and modern, then pfft. Being modern is not in the way you dress, but the way you think. I wish some people could realise that, and we all can respect each other and have world peace.

The world is seriously full of stupid people. And am still depressed.