picture in my mind

Today's THE big day. In an hour's time, I'll be off to meet dearest 409 and we'll all, in the words of Evelyn, "gan cheong" together till they hand the dreaded slips out. I don't exactly know how I feel. I'm not that nervous... but I think it's because I'm making myself not think about the papers and the specific questions which I found hard to answer. And I guess my poor memory helps... Can't remember anything anyway. My nervousness is somewhere deep down inside... I'm deliberately suppressing it. I do not want to be hyperventilating the whole day. I just hope that when I'm in the hall, all that suppressed energy doesn't burst out... I'll faint.

Will come back later today to post about my results. But maybe I won't. If I'm too depressed, all I'll do is sit at one corner and think and cry and think and cry and think and finally get over it and come back to reality. Hope that doesn't take too long because I have tons of homework for Monday.

Hm. Been reading about my personality type again. Apparently, I'm the Healer type. I should be the healer... not duck. Hee. Very accurate account of INFPs here...

Healers have a profound sense of idealism derived from a strong personal morality, and they conceive of the world as an ethical, honorable place. Indeed, to understand Healers, we must understand their idealism as almost boundless and selfless, inspiring them to make extraordinary sacrifices for someone or something they believe in. The Healer is the Prince or Princess of fairytale, the King's Champion or Defender of the Faith, like Sir Galahad or Joan of Arc. Healers are found in only 1 percent of the general population, although, at times, their idealism leaves them feeling even more isolated from the rest of humanity.

Far-fetched as it may seem, it's really quite accurate. I think I have this too idealistic view of people. I think that everyone is good. How can they not be? We all started as young children, innocent and pure. So doesn't it mean that everyone, deep inside, wants to be good? Even Hitler, say. He must have been a normal kid. Extremely smart, of course. But something happened that made him do certain things. Wasn't it something about his father...? Can't remember. It seems to me like he was taking revenge on the Jews for hurting him or something... Hm. The weird thing is that I always feel that these 'bad guys' just need a good talking to, to realise their bad ways. That is why I'm more and more certain that I want to be a psychologist.

Yay! INFPs are such great people! Joan of Arc!!! I'd like to sacrifice for my beliefs if it is required of me. I don't know if I'm brave enough. But I'd like to. Actually, I've always dreamed of playing a big part in defending Islam... the way it's being prosecuted these days... so saddening. Hm.

And you have no idea how alone I feel sometimes.

OMG.... this description is just too accurate for words. I have to log off. Feeling extremely depressed. INFPs have such sad lives.

Link here.
Link here too.

Had to type this in. INFPs are talented writers! Let's hope my O-level English essay impressed the markers... I need my English A1!

INFPs are usually talented writers. They may be awkward and uncomfortable with expressing themselves verbally, but have a wonderful ability to define and express what they're feeling on paper. INFPs also appear frequently in social service professions, such as counseling or teaching. They are at their best in situations where they're working towards the public good, and in which they don't need to use hard logic.