Ran 6 rounds yesterday. Almost died on the 6th round. Really. Felt like collapsing on the spot. And all the boys had to do was jog two rounds. TWO. Tell me where the logic comes in here.

Went for photog outing today. Was fun as a whole. People were nice. Games were a bit dead though. Tried to play polar bear and I had to explain. I tried to be the village head but we kept mixing up the hunters and polar bears. So funny. Took photos at Bugis. Liked my senior's SLR. It's so light!!! Obsession over digicam and video cam has restarted. Yippee.

Oh, went to Cassie's blog! She compared Lymond and DT!Draco. And the topic of heroes came up again. It's really quite funny. Don't you notice that most drool-worthy heroes are those that suffer? The kind of man that's hard outside but soft inside? So true!!! The essence of Lymond and Draco. And many others actually. Here's what Cassie has in her blog...

"Female readers are almost always attracted to male characters who get hurt a lot. They just are. And Draco does get smacked around a *lot* in these books. He gets ferret-bounced and hippogriff-slashed and pimp-slapped and seriously hexed. And that's just the sort of thing that female readers -- and particularly adolescent girls -- really go for. It's why they think Harry's so sexy too, I'd warrant. It's because they're twisted little featherboa wearers, each and every one of them."


However, I resent being described as a featherboa wearer. Never worn a feather boa in my life. And never thought of canon Harry as sexy. Yeuch. But... DT Harry? Yes. DT Draco? Need you even ask?

"And JKR must know this. She *must.* I mean, even Draco himself -- who's really rather stupid, honestly -- is hip to this dynamic. Just look at how he responds to Pansy in PoA, when she asks him if his arm hurts. Draco knows the score, all right. A macho "Nah, not really, don't worry about it" just isn't going to win you any eros points from an adolescent girl, unless there's one heck of a wince accompanying it. And Draco knows that. To get the adolescent girls crushing on you, you have to be hurt...yet still doing okay with it. But not *too* okay. Not really okay down deep inside. Just marginally okay. Okay for now. Okay, but tottering dangerously on the cusp on not really okay at all."


I was bouncing up and down my chair at the accuracy of this observation. I confess! That is what makes Draco and Lymond sooo endearing to me. Suffering with manly dignity. *melts into goo* How Draco just smashed his one and only antidote... *wheeee* How Lymond refuses to fight his brother who absolutely hates him and who wants him dead... *swoon* How Draco stood up against the wall to hold himself up when he felt weak, but pretended there was nothing wrong with him... Until Hermione had to say, "Draco, is that wall the only thing holding you up?"... And even then, he frowned at her for asking him that, and tried to stand up on his two feet... for two seconds, before finally collapsing. Aaah!

This is what is termed, according to Elkins, the author of an essay on this topic, the "Hurt-Comfort" Syndrome. I have all the symptoms. And I don't mind it one bit.

Changing the subject, guess what? I'm acting in malay drama for arts feste. Unbelievable. This is so not me. Just proves how desperate they are for actors, really. The play's a version of Cinderella. And I'm the prince's mother. I don't think my part is very big, thank god. I'm just worried about forgetting my lines and being intimidated by my tall "son", considering how many scenes I'll be doing with him. I'm too short to be the prince's mother. ARGH!

There is nothing more boring than physics. Ok.. maybe there is, but physics lecture is, by far, the dullest session in school. I've resorted to doodling in my notebook so as not to drop off to sleep. Today, while the lecturer droned on in the most monotonous voice I have ever encountered, I started playing the alphabet game on my own. You know, list out, starting from A, names of characters from HP. This time, I included Lymond in it... and it was more fun. I know HP too well... it gets boring.

The last period of the day was PE. Before it started, it was raining heavily. And we were quite positive that the rain was going to last through the whole of the PE lesson. But, noooooo... the skies are part of some conspiracy to make us run. So we had to. 3 rounds. And after that, some butt lifting exercises (don't make me explain in detail) plus sit ups. And I actually felt sick after all of it. I had to sit down before I started retching. I don't know... it was like all the energy was drained out of me. Like I hadn't eaten anything at all when in fact, I ate a plate of mee goreng for lunch. The feeling is the kind I get when I fast but still haven't broken it despite the fact that it's way past dusk. Sigh. Ms Poon said that I probably am not fit enough. Hm. Probably. Stomach muscles are aching from LAST WEEK'S sit ups. What a horror.

Hah. And today, when I got home, I decided to weigh myself because I ate a cheeseburger after PE and felt guilty. I got onto the weighing scale and my eyes almost popped out. I'm positive. The needle inidcated that I was 3 kg heavier. Went into panic for a while. I can't be growing that fat THAT fast! Then after a while, I realised I was still carrying my school bag!!! Heh heh. Had a good laugh at my own silliness and weighed myself again. Phew.

My cousins have found great use for my terribly long and thick hair. They have made me into Sadako. My job is to scare them to death.

Yesterday, when all of us had nothing fun to do at home, they came over to our place. They played the playstation (as always) but then they wanted to play "hantu-hantu" (translated = ghosts). All I had to do was let down my hair all over my face and drape some white cloth over my shoulders. As soon as I start walking, they will scream like the end of the world has come. Yes, scream. The boys. The only girls are my sis and me.

It is so hilarious.

Nothing much to do at home.

PETER PAN was sooo fun! Planning to watch Samurai soon...

Photography it is. Haha. I thought I was done with it for good... but then, when I thought about it some more, I realised I don't want to throw away all the skills I've learnt just like that. Especially the developing photos part. RJ's darkroom is a bit... uh, under construction, but there's still a chance that I can continue learning it in the future. And besides, I do like photography.

What happened to choir, you ask? Well, I sat in for a trial practice last Wednesday. I was simply supposed to sing along... but it really wasn't as easy as it seemed. Choir, I discovered, is like an orchestra of voices. You still need to be very musically inclined, no matter how much they try to convince you that musical background is not a criteria for entry. They were singing from a score sheet and I could hardly follow. I could read the words of course, but I could not follow the notes! And standing amongst the sopranos freaked me out. The pitch at which they sing is... amazing. After a while of trying to follow the singing, I ceased completely and waited for time to tick by to 2.30. And I dashed off to my J'cozy. Choir, I knew then, isn't my thing.

I signed up for Library too. It's extremely flexible so it's a win-win situation for me. I can go to the library counter anytime to do my job and I get library privileges. Yay.

Signed up for MLD with Yashira. Not in bahas though. She told us there are many things that we can take part in... like the backstage for drama or a general knowledge quiz. So I'm waiting for those things. I just want to help but not bahas or dance or act you know. Actually, some day, if they're doing an RJ drama and they need extras for the cast, I don't mind helping. As long as it doesn't involve attracting too much attention to me.

Things are looking up. Headache over CCAs has reduced to a minor throb. Just need to clarify how exactly the pearl points are accumulated...

P.S. DV 14 still not here.

Having quite a headache over this CCA business. What on earth should I join?! I don't think photography is my call anymore... and I just want to do something different. There's Perbayu and I think I'll join that... but no way am I going to debate again. NO WAY. I am not going to stand on stage and have myself suffer through speeches and confusing debate motions.

Jean was suggesting fencing. My first reaction was... "Yeah, right... Like I can do any sport..." But then, when I thought over it... I realised, it wouldn't be so bad. It's not exactly a typical sport. And it's interesting... because it involves learning certain special moves... like feinting, and blocking and all that. Wouldn't it be cool to know how to fence? It'd be like knowing how to fight. Knowing swordplay! Like Lymond!!! OMG! Or like DT Draco and Harry! Or like the musketeers! Unfortunately... fencing is expensive. It's a rich kids' game. $600 for a suit, assuming they can find a size for me. I can't foresee myself asking my dad for that much money. Already, asking him for textbook money is difficult enough. The chances of him agreeing are close to nil.

So what then? Photography? Fall back on that?

Or choir. Jean wants to go for auditions. Singing?! ME?! Can I? I wonder. I haven't actually sung out loud for anyone to judge me. I don't even know if I sound completely horrid. But I like singing. And I don't mind staying long hours after school to sing and learn nice new songs, as opposed to staying long hours for training, for instance. I think... I have a chance of getting in. That really slim chance. The biggest hurdle, I suppose, is the audition. Would I have to sing in front of a panel of judges... alone? Quite certain that's how it works. Oh dear. Thinking about it alone is enough to scare me half to death. Should I give it a shot anyway? SHOULD I?

What will my family think? CHOIR?! This is so not me.

But hey, who am I? I don't think I know.

Maybe I'll just go... and pretend I'm singing in the shower when they audition me.

And I'll keep my options open for tomorrow, the CCA fest.

CRIPES. Remembered that Malay class starts tmr. Please let me have Aisyah in the same class or else I'll die of awkwardness and loneliness and unable-to-fit-in syndrome. Bah. I'm exaggerating.

Haven't done Tutorial 0!!! Which is due tmr! What is my problem...? Doing 1 before 0... I must learn to count.

The fact that DV 14 is STILL NOT HERE is killing me. June 6 suddenly seems quite near though. YAY. How paradoxical. *insane laughter*

Everybody else seems to have described their JC orientation in detail. What's wrong with me? How come I don't..? I'm such a lazy pig... Or maybe I'm just too busy. Busy with going out with new RJ friends.

Friday was the Orientation night. We were supposed to have dressed up in the matrix theme but it really didn't work out quite well. We tried to wear black... but some of us didn't have all black shirts or pants. And some of us were wearing beige coloured tops... and red in the case of Heng Liang, one guy in my OG. On top of that, most of us were quite reluctant to wear our shades. I had mine clutched in my hand and wore it for a total of five minutes max throughout the whole night. Really quite funny. So we were one of those OGs which were not so-very-eager to get up on stage and show off.

Saw Eunice's group dressed in garbage bags... HAHA! Anan was walking into the hall wearing his garbage bag and I realised he was in Eunice's group. He saw me laughing at him and smiled. Another group dressed up as a deck of cards. Another like evil minions dressed in black hooded cloaks with green-glowing sticks. Interesting. There was an American Idol spoof done by the J2s... not so bad. One of the guys sang pretty well but the unconvincing male Britney-impostor won. He was hilarious, singing 'Oops I did it again' and wearing a tube top... bearing belly and incorporating all the dance moves.

After that we moved to the campfire site next to the field and danced the soleilas and rain dance. I love the rain dance! I am so going to download the song from somewhere... Then we had the batch song and stood in a circle and jumped up and down together. There was some holding hands up in the air thing and I was standing next to Yixun, who was sooo bleeding tall (to me), and Elizabeth, and I couldn't reach their hands. So funny! Had to tiptoe a bit. There were candles being passed around but they kept going off and the wax kept dripping. It dripped onto my hand. HOT! But then dried up immediately. Bird screamed when Yee Wei dripped wax onto her... but then she was all right. We ended the whole thing with Raffles cheers. Elizabeth and I decided to scream for the Unite cheer. That was actually the first time I screamed. I usually never scream when we cheered it before. Felt really good actually.

After that, our OG had a rather solemn gathering at our J'cozy. We gave our OGLs our spuddy cards, which consisted of a big potato with each of their names in it and messages from all of us. Ming Jing and Andrew had something for us too... messages and the Jaxoras keychain. So sweet! Then we decided to have supper. Ice-cream at Guthrie House. Took a bus there. Bought a tub of ice-cream, shared amongst appx 7 people. Then we were shooed out of the building by the guards. And I waited for my dad to pick me. Stood along the side of the road until everyone else went off. Some of them didnt want to go home yet and went to King Albert's Park. I went to 7-11 across the road and saw MANY HC people. Thought might see someone I know, but didn't.

Got home and slept at midnight.

I think I'm going to miss Orientation. Going to miss Jaxoras and the cheering and screaming. Going to miss the dancing, believe it or not... haha. Not saying that I could actually dance the soleilas. I could get some parts and it was still fun, trying to catch up with all the good dancers. Rain dance, like I said, is just sooo fun.

I had a dream the other night... about dancing. When I woke up, I wanted to laugh. Shows just how much dancing I've done during my waking hours. I was in school, standing with my OG people, I think. We were watching tv... and it was a PCK show, with dancing in it. And we had to follow the dance moves. And then everyone started dancing. I realised that I could not find Elizabeth anywhere so I didnt have any partner. There was no one else around me who didnt have a partner and I remember feeling completely lost. I recall seeing Jeanette and Hadri dancing in front of me... and I was trying to follow. So funny!!! And stupid. I mean... come on, PCK and DANCING?! My brain has gone haywire.

There's a barbecue at Denise's house today, but I'm not going. The timing isn't good for me. My mum isn't happy. I've decided I must put aside time to spend with my family. If this is how life in JC is going to be, going home late everyday, I have to spend weekend at home as much as I can. Already, next Saturday's the CCA fest, and I know I'm going to go out after that.

ALL DT (Draco Trilogy) readers should really see the DV cookies in cassie's LJ (link at the side there).

SEE IT! I'm tingling all over in excitement. Shall paste one quote.

“I want,” he said, “to be able to love her. Sometimes I think I could. I can picture it. I think it would make me happy. But I think perhaps it’s not in my nature to be happy. Happiness is simple, after all, and I’ve never liked anything simple.”

Guess who said it? I just feel like throttling him for doing this to himself...

And there's a very amusing poem... about gays... haha.

"Draco Veritas, the Ambiguously Gay Fanfic" ~ Cassandra Claire... Hehe... As long as it stays ambiguous... or becomes permanently non-gay.

FINALLY. Blogger is back again. For a while there, it was down... and all blogspot blogs were inaccesible.

DV 14 is coming... I think. I know the last time Cassie said that it was in Sept and by the end of the year it still wasn't out. But this time... I think it's really coming. YAY! I can't wait! Cookies are on her LJ.

Tomorrow's O-nite. My OG has picked matrix. That was the first thing that crossed my mind when they said "Science". So... going to wear all black and sunglasses. Yippee. Can wear my new black jacket.

Talking to Ecnelis (my OG) on msn... Mass chatting never makes sense... so much rubbish.. but funny all the same.

"Who wants to steal a millionaire?" on tv! So fascinating. They actually managed to cheat... though they got caught. A mixture of accurate positioning, coughing, listening and faking. Horrible, really.